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Saturday Nov. 14

Well yesterday we celebrated my son's 21st birthday. It was a very monumental birthday too. You see my son was born with Down Syndrome. He makes my life a very joyous one and I had to repay him for all of the times that he's pulled me out of the dark hole called life. No matter how down you might be, Matt always seems to pull you out into the light. My other son is 18 and attends college on a full scholarship. So I'm proud of both of my kids. Anyhow we took my 21 year old son to the Casino last night. Before that we ate at Red Lobster. Beings that I'm on the mushies, the Broiled Salmon and Mashed Potatoes hit the spot. My son had a blast at the Casino. He learned what it's like to lose your money after being ahead $40. Oh well.lol. I told him when he goes again, he needs to learn how to push the button that says, "CASH OUT". Needless to say he hugged me and told me that this was the best birthday that he ever had and that he loves me. So it all made me start thinking how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family. And it makes me want to work even harder to lose this weight that I have so that I can be around for many years to see each birthday that my kids reach and keep watching that smile on Matt's face. I want to be there for Matt just like he is there for me everyday. Making me understand that life has many obstacles but no matter how hard they are to climb, you can get to the top of them if you keep trying. :mad2:
Astrasmom

Astrasmom

7
 

Life is a Highway, and it's going my way!!

So many people will say that lapband surgery is the easy way out but there really is nothing easy about this process. I was banded on Oct 23, 2009 and I have thus far lost a total of 67lbs. Let me tell you what I had to do to get there. So before I had my surgery I was a whopping 304lbs. YIKES. Figure it out as to how much I weigh now. :redface: I have about 87lbs to go. Anyway in 2001 I had open heart surgery for an Aortic Anuerysm and a valve replacement. Since a porcine valve (Pigs valve..no bacon jokes please) was used I will need to have the surgery again in another couple of years because unfortunately they don't last more then 10 years. Why did I have that kind of valve put in? Because I was young and didn't fancy the idea of taking a blood thinner for the rest of my life. So I have been following a Cardiologist. Anyway for years I have been battleing a weight problem. I have tried every diet that you can think of. And I have actually lost weight. Only to gain it back again by hitting a major sink hole on the highway. One day at a check up my Cardiologist told me that it was time to start thinking about my surgery again. Then told me that if I didn't really think about losing weight I could possibly die on the table or run the risk of several infections. So I think that was the day that I really woke up and said, "Hey you need to do something about this." So I started doing research. And after attending a Bariatric Weightloss Seminar and 6 months of nutrional visits along with other types of doctor visits I finally had my surgery. So now I am down 67lbs and EXERCISING!! But along with that weight loss comes endless calorie counting, vitamin intake, making sure you chew your food so it doesn't get stuck. And lots of will power. People think once you get that lapband in you aren't gong to be hungry. BULL CRAP. You are hungry and the thing is it does take alot of will power because you can keep eating. You have to teach yourself the difference between head hunger and real hunger. You can't let food control you. The band is a tool. It's not a get thin quick type of deal. It does require alot of work. And you can eat pretty much anything in moderation. I don't do bread, pasta or beef. They don't agree with me. So here I am riding the Highway of Life without hitting the pot holes anymore. Oh I do hit those speed bumps once and awhile. I'm only human. I have to 'cheat' once and awhile. But unlike before I know how to control myself. And I know that if I want to be healthy and stay alive, this is the end of the road for me. I have to be serious. This is probably the best thing that I have ever done for myself. I have NO regrets and if I had it to do over again, I would.
Astrasmom

Astrasmom

6
 

All dreams come true.....believe

It's honestly hard to believe that 6 months have gone by already since I've had my surgery. It seems like just yesterday. Lets see, today I fit into my first pair of size 14 jeans in 22 years. I have lost 80lbs and I feel awesome. I sure wish I had known about this surgery years ago. Well actually I did but I was one of those people who thought that getting weight loss surgery was a cop out. BOY WAS I WRONG!! If you had asked me 6 months ago about losing weight and if I had any faith in myself that I would actually lose this weight, I would have laughed in your face. I had pretty much give up all hope of ever losing weight. I was so sick and tired of diet hoping and losing the weight but getting bored of the diet and putting the weight back on again and then some. My self-confidence was pretty much in the crapper. UNTIL...I finally started losing the weight. At first it came off pretty quickly and then around my first fill it slowed down to 1-2 pounds a week. Which is what it really should be anyway. Eventually I started really feeling better about myself and decided that if I didn't change the way I was thinking I would wind up back in the same boat I was before the surgery. Here's my point. Everyone got this way some way or another. Whether it was because of depression, because you love food, because you were sick, comfort, etc. The only way that it will work for you after you have the lapband surgery is to have faith in yourself. Faith that you CAN lose the weight, and FAITH that if you do make a mistake it's not the end of the world. Just pick yourself back up again and try. You also have to go into this with the mind set that this is a tool not a cure all. This is NOT a diet it's a lifestyle change. In order for the band to work for you, you have to work for the band. It's NOT going to change your old habits. It's NOT going to tell you to stop eating. It's NOT going to tell you what to eat and what not to eat. So then you ask, if it won't do that, then why did I have to get the band? Couldn't I have lost the weight by myself without having to go through all of this? Some people can, BUT most will gain the weight back again. The lapband will help you keep that weight off. Providing you follow your doctors plan and you make your regularly scheduled check-ups for fills with your doctor. My doctor is my savior. He saved my life. And because of this I lean on him pretty hard. After all that is what he is there for. Don't feel embarrassed to call your doctor. And please if you are having alot of trouble and you have already called your doctor and you were told that you can't have a fill. CALL AGAIN! Be persistent and don't give up. You also can't do this alone. Food is an addiction. As I said you can't just slap the band on and expect your addiction to suddenly go away. You need support. Please if you have a support group in your area and the ability to get there. PLEASE GO. Having support over the internet is wonderful however there is nothing better then having other people directly infront of you that are going through the same things that you are. Please reach for your dreams. Anything is possible if you believe. Believe in yourself. Set small goals and reward yourself after you have reached that goal. Maybe instead of a food reward though you can reward yourself with something else. :smile2: And don't judge yourself around the weight-loss of others. Everyone loses at a different pace. I believe in you. Do you? :wink2:
Astrasmom

Astrasmom

5
 

11/5/2009.........

So I was banded on Oct 23, 2009. So far everything is going great. I have lost 20 lbs since surgery and 30 all together with the pre-op diet and everything. I'm a food addict. I have been for most of my life. I eat because of stress. And GOD knows I've had alot of it in my life. And I eat because it's there. Since my surgery I have learned alot about myself. One great point is that I can take control over food. It doesn't have to control me. Sure I get my cravings now and then, but food is not as controling as it was before I was banded. I'm already starting to feel better about myself. I know that I what to live. I want to feel better. And for once I want someone in my life to feel proud of my accomplishments. I want someone to be able to look at me and say "WOW Dawn. You look great!" I want to be able to do things with my kids. Because of being over weight most of my life I have missed out on many of the things that I should have been able to do with my kids. They are now teenagers and I want to do things with them before they move away. Being over weight is like a skinny person being trapped in this huge Cacoon and wanting to get out but the Cacoon keeps over powering you. You try so hard to get to the outside by trying these "Diet" things and you get down 10 -20 lbs but find yourself slipping back down into the Big, dark, cacoon. You just never seem to reach the outside. I want to get out of this Big, Dark Cacoon, once and for all. I want to see what the outside world looks like. And I want to love myself. Not just like and accept myself. I want to be able to love myself and love the way that I look. I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of feeling ashamed. I'm tired of people staring at me because I'm fat. I want people to look at me because I'm skinny. And I want to prove to myself that I can do something and Complete it if I set my mind out to do it. I don't want to be a failure of weightloss ANYMORE!!
Astrasmom

Astrasmom

3
 

Something very exciting for me.

So yesterday I did something really exciting for myself. I dug my car and my driveway out of 2 foot of snow. How in the world is that exciting you ask? Well for the first time in many years I actually started and finished the job without getting winded and having to stop several times. My back didn't hurt and today I am actually not sore. It was great exercise and I definately burned alot of calories. Now don't get me wrong. I in no way want this much snow ever again however I am proud of myself that I was able to shovel myself out. Ok so I had help of my husband and youngest son but still I did alot of shoveling myself. :cursing: I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Holiday.
Astrasmom

Astrasmom

2
 

New Year looking better

Let me start by saying Happy New Year. This year will be very different for me. How you ask? Well I got on the scale today and since my first visit to the doctors I have lost 55lbs. Since my surgery date on Oct 23, 2009 I have lost 45lbs. I won't officially change my ticker until I go to the doctors on Jan. 13th. In 2001 I had open heart surgery because I and an aortic aneurysm. I also had a valve replacement. That was 8 1/2 years ago. I am already back down to the weight I was when I had my surgery. I go to visit my cardiologist on Jan. 25th and am very excited to see what is said. I will need to have open heart again in a couple of years because they put a pigs valve in last time, which only lasts for 10 years or so. This time around I will get a mechanical which should last for the rest of my life. 6 months ago my cardiologist said that I really needed to lose the weight because I was taking the chance of dieing on the table or at the least risking infection if I did lose the weight. So here I am. I have lost about 1/4 of my goal weight. So here is my New Years Resolution. I am extremely greatful for the support of my family and friends and everyone on here, but I have come to realize that the only person who is truly going to help me do this, is myself. I want to LIVE. I don't want to die young. So I refuse to let food control me any longer. I will however not give up living. I do realize that this is a lifestyle change but it's not a reason to give up living. Everything in moderation. So if I make a mistake I am NOT going to punish myself for it. I am just going to learn from those mistakes and move along. So 'FOOD' move over because I'm taking over. This is MY life, not yours. Good luck to everyone in 2010. I hope you have as much success as I have had and continue down your path of weight-loss. God bless you all and thanks for being here for me.
Astrasmom

Astrasmom

1
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