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Here we goooO!

I started my pre-op diet today after two days of last-mealitis and binging. I tried to fit in all of my favorite foods just in case I never get to eat them again. Let's see... I went to two fast food places, Taco Cabana and Jack in the Box. I don't know why I chose Jack in the Box. I never eat there! But I loaded up on tacos, chicken sandwiches, flauta, fajita taco, cake, eggrolls and more. Then last night, I hit the bakery at Market Street for a lemon torte and a fruit tart. I bought an eclair and a napolean but never got around to eating them. I also bought a shitload of diet food, fearing that I would be deprived if I didn't have everything I could possibly want at my fingertips.   Today I am have a protein shake for breakfast. The new diet is low-fat, low-carb, and vegetarian. So basically, I can eat protein supplements, veggies, and fruit with an occassional cracker. YUUUUUUMMMMY! [she says with intense sarcasm]   I think my biggest problem right now is the overwhelming fear that this, like many other things I have tried to lose weight, will not work. My brain is scrambling with the question, "What if I change my body and put myself through all of this and remain fat?" It happens. And it would be just my luck that it would happen to me.   That is very negative thinking but I am afraid, nonetheless. I am also cranky and stressed out about losing my food "friends". I know that in a couple of months, I can still enjoy them, just in smaller portions but I am not sure I trust myself to have a bite or two of something I love (like a bagel) or that my body won't reject something that I love (like a bagel).   Speaking of Bagels, I went to Einstein Brothers Bagels twice this week and loaded up on lox, asiago bagels, pumpkin bagel and bagel dogs.   Now, back to the protein shake. I am using Herbalife Formula 1 shakes. They are really good and as much as I hate to admit it, really satisfy my hunger. They are not too sweet and you can use the powder in other recipes. I get mine from Ajay's Fitness (home of the 4-minute workout...no kidding. It's amazing). Nutrition products are available for shipping anywhere.   I am also logging my food intake at Myfitnesspal.com. It's free and has a good library of foods to add to your food journal.

Electrawoman

Electrawoman

 

Groggy

I did it! The lapband has been successfully installed on my stomach. I feel fine, except for a sore throat because my mouth is dry. I got 5 incisions and I don't feel a thing except for a little pressure. The IV pain meds must be responsible for that. Everyone said I did excellent. Blog more later. Sleep now.

Electrawoman

Electrawoman

 

Grandmamma Drama

I had my first big stress test today. From one family grandma drama to another family grandma drama to a flat tire and two 2-hour drives, I was faced with my first real stressed test since band placement. These type of days would nearly always end up as binge days but this time, I had to find new ways to cope that didn't include cookies, cake, pie and a binge run to various fast-food joints.   I passed the test.   The worst thing I did today was put a little extra queso on some refried beans at a Christmas party dinner and have half a bite of cake from my husband's plate. Maybe I ate a couple more spoonfuls of beans than I should have. Maybe I shouldn't have been eating beans or cake at all. But I am really proud of myself and thankful that I had the band to keep me under control.

Electrawoman

Electrawoman

 

Food Inc.

Wow! I just watched this documentary called Food Inc. It's much of the same info as the book, Fast Food Nation. I had tried to read the book in the past but just couldn't get into it. I am so glad they made this documentary.   I am pretty informed about factory farming, especially where it concerns animals. I was a vegetarian for 13 years and did my share of pamphleting, protesting, and lobbying for animals but I really didn't know the extent of the Nation's food problem until I watched this documentary. It has changed me and will change the way I shop for food.   Now that I am able to eat less food, I can afford to switch my family to whole, natural, locally-produced foods and that is what I am going to do. My husband is happily on board (rare since we usually disagree on "green-hippie" issues like this). He watched the film with me and is appalled at the state of our country's food processing methods.   Watch it as soon as you can! It will change the way you look at food and what you learn from it could be a good companion to your healthy new lifestyle.   Meanwhile, I had another good day with the band. For breakfast, I renewed my childhood love affair with Cream of Wheat. Man, that is good stuff. I added a little varietal (blueberry) honey to it and it was incredible. Later, I made chili for dinner and just ate some of the sauce. I am still having trouble getting all my water and protein, though.   My Grandma stressed me out again today and for a second, I felt the old twinge to eat my feelings away. Instead, I just sat there feeling what I felt and then I felt better.   I also had a ton of energy and felt like my old self. Since my car accident, I have not been able to do all the things I used to. My house stays messy because I can't keep up with it and it that been a constant source of guilt and anxiety for me especially now that I stay at home and feel it is my job to stay on top of this house. Today, I was able to do a lot of chores and chase after my kiddo and critters for 12+ hours. I even finished cleaning 3 rooms! That hasn't happened in 2 years when, before the accident, I could clean my entire house in a couple of hours.   I am really really really happy that I got the band.

Electrawoman

Electrawoman

 

Food Depression

Day four had kicked my butt a little though I made it under calorie and fat budget anyway. From sugar and fat withdrawal to losing my tried-and-true feelings buffer, my mood and energy level dropped straight down to the ground. I woke up with a headache and feeling cranky. I spent the rest of the day that way. I am very tired, even though I hung out on the sofa for most of the evening. I gave in at some point and had a BK veggie burger but luckily, it didn't put me over my limits.   Anyone who says this is cheating, can kiss my fatt ass.   The bright spot in my day was my son, who gave me lots of hugs and kisses even though I spent a large part of the morning fussing around him. Even my husband is trying to stay out of my way. It is probably safer for him to do so :cool2: Grrrrrrowl!   I also had a chance to read more of The Gabriel Method and using the visualizations and relaxation techniques in the book are helping.

Electrawoman

Electrawoman

 

Food Confused

I am still not really sure if I am eating what I should be eating after Monday's procedure. My list says "full liquids" and includes oatmeal, grits and cream of wheat. Both hot cereals are what I would consider mushies. I asked the bariatric coodinator about it and she said "we don't really do a mushy stage because anything can be made mushy if you chew it long enough". I took that to mean that I could do mushies starting today. But, I'm still not sure.   Today I had: an Herbalife Shake, 1/2 c thick cream soup (baked potato flavor) with a few bits that I chewed the crap out of, and for dinner, some homemade mashed turnips which I made too thin to eat with a fork.   Now I am worried about those turnips. I feel fine but what if they are too gassy and make my stomach do weird things?   Yikes!   I am also having trouble getting enough water.   Tips? Advice?

Electrawoman

Electrawoman

 

Fill Worked

I can definitely feel a difference when I eat now. I just finished my kiddo's breakfast (about three mini pancakes, a bite of egg and a couple of blueberries) and I am stuffed.   I started exercising yesterday. I wanted to go to the gym but didn't want to deal with packing a bag and hunting down my membership card. I just went for a walk instead. My once-broken ankle does not appreciate that.   I also got food stuck last night and it was definitely chewed properly first. Now, I know what everyone meant by "slime" ew!   In the meantime, I am going to snuggle up with my sick toddler on the sofa. We are watching big snow fall in Texas. That is always a beautiful site because it is so rare.

Electrawoman

Electrawoman

 

Feeling Lighter

Well, it has been a few weeks since I blogged. I have been in Canada for the holidays and just got back last night. I had an awesome time and continued to lose on schedule during the trip.   I am losing about 1-2 pounds a week and eating most foods without too much trouble. Twice, I have gotten food stuck. I am not sure if it was because of what I ate or how I chewed but I am betting on the latter. Either way, it passed without much incident.   I also found a good protein shake finally! The ones I took on my trip were horrible! There is a generic brand from Shopper's drug mart that I really liked but had no room to bring back. Instead, I got a few of the perfectly protein shakes from Bolthouse Farms from my local grocery. They sell them in the produce section. They are really really really good and have 19 grams of protein. yummy!

Electrawoman

Electrawoman

 

Drowning in Liquids

I started clear liquids today. I looked it up and found that the reason for this torture is to clear my intestines. Frankly, I would rather have the doctor give me 14 jalapeno enemas instead of putting me on clear liquids. No, really. Isn't there an easier way?   I have threatened to quit several times today and considered rescheduling the surgery. Luckily, I have been able to talk myself down each time. I also burst into tears twice. Thank goodness my husband is being sensitive and caring about it.   There is no particular food I am thinking about. There is just this general restlessness that says EAT NOW. To be honest, when I look at food I don't really want it. But I have the overwhelming urge to eat. It's this gnawing...gnashing...grinding-of-the-teeth feeling. I might be taking an extra Wellie tonight to lessen this anxiety. (Wellie=Wellbutrin...and yes, it has been approved that I can take an extra one if I need it. :cool2:   Meanwhile, I am trying to keep busy with the Jon Gabriel Visualizations, and looking at Before-and-After photos of other Bandsters. The Gabriel Method suggests finding a picture of your ideal body and visualizing yourself in that body while listening to a meditation CD at night and in the morning. I took it a step further and did mine in Photoshop:   http://www.bettysoutherland.com/NewB.html     If you want one too, email me the picture of your ideal body and a headshot of you that is in the same position as the body shot. (i.e., if the ideal body is facing forward, your head should be facing forward, too). If you have any skinny facial pics (like maybe from when you were younger), send those too, along with a Paypal for $12.50 to:   electrawoman@gmail.com   Depending on how many orders I get, I can probably get your finished pic back to you within a few days.   It would be fun to compare these to our final "after" pics :laugh:

Electrawoman

Electrawoman

 

4lbs to first gial

4 more pounds and I will be out of the 300s!   I was told a few days ago that a friend who had not seen me in ten years didn't recognize me from current pics because I had gained so much weight. that was an eye opener. I hadn't thought that my body had changed all that much but he was right.   From 1992-1993, I gained 100 pounds jumping from 170 to 270. I stayed there until 2007 when I ballooned up again after the birth of my son and a serious car accident. It is only now that I realize how much weight I gained in that year.   In retrospect, I now see what those two life episodes had in common---depression!   I have had two major depressive episodes and each one cost me dearly. So now I am recommitting to stay mentally healthy. Depression is such a sneaky bitch. I never know I'm in one until it's too late. Watch out depression. I'm watching you!

Electrawoman

Electrawoman

 

4lbs to first gial

4 more pounds and I will be out of the 300s!   I was told a few days ago that a friend who had not seen me in ten years didn't recognize me from current pics because I had gained so much weight. that was an eye opener. I hadn't thought that my body had changed all that much but he was right.   From 1992-1993, I gained 100 pounds jumping from 170 to 270. I stayed there until 2007 when I ballooned up again after the birth of my son and a serious car accident. It is only now that I realize how much weight I gained in that year.   In retrospect, I now see what those two life episodes had in common---depression!   I have had two major depressive episodes and each one cost me dearly. So now I am recommitting to stay mentally healthy. Depression is such a sneaky bitch. I never know I'm in one until it's too late. Watch out depression. I'm watching you!

Electrawoman

Electrawoman

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