I made a decision to keep my LAP-BAND®®®® surgery a secret for the time being. I was afraid of getting my hopes up and being let down, of my elderly parents worrying, and of anyone passing judgement. I've had to deal with enough of that #$%$ already in my life! Also, I just didn't feel like explaining myself to anyone. I discussed this with my husband (supportive), my brother (a dr. and very supportive), and my other brother (my bff but married to a woman I'll refer to as SB - Superbitch). I was very adamant that this be kept confidential. No problem. Everyone's on board.
So, I was banded on 9/22/09. The anticipation and excitement for this day were almost unbearable! The big day came, the LAP-BAND®®®® is placed and all is well! Friday night I'm up at 4 AM in excruciating pain and vomiting. Doc thinks possible kidney stone and tells me to meet him in the ER (45 minutes away). I gently wake up my husband, who proceeds to jump out of bed, stands there for 5 seconds and FAINTS!!!
OMG - I need help and my pillar of steel is on the floor white as a ghost! I called my dr. and he said to get him some water and a cool cloth and SNAP HIM OUT OF IT!! It worked, we made it to the ER, I passed a kidney stone (great fun by the way) and made it home by 2PM.
2:05 PM My father (a worry wart with a heart condition) calls because "someone" told him I had surgery on my stomach! Hmmmm, I only told 3 people. Little brother leaked my juicy information to SB. She was hosting a girl scout sleepover for the girls & their moms at our family cottage and made my dissatisfaction with my body their topic of conversation. My stepmother was there, shocked, called my dad to have him check on me and make sure I was superduper. Hardly. I felt so hurt and betrayed. I rarely cry and I couldn't seem to stop the water works yesterday.
5:00 Had a very fulfilling conversation with brother and SB. I'm not a confrontational person and I socked it them both. I made them cry and it felt sooooo goood (does that make me evil?!)
Day is almost over, husband has been cleaning garage and laundry room and comes up to the now somewhat calmer me with a pair of black jockey mens underwear in his hands. "Whose are these?" he asks me. I seriously was dumbfounded. I have no idea who belongs to the mysterious pair of mens briefs my husband holds before me! Married 20 years to this guy and this is the first conversation of this sort! The jockeys were for a pretty big guy and I suddenly didn't know how to react! Is he thinking something weird like I have a secret lover or did someone change in our laundry room or do laundry and leave them behind? Long story short, an hour later, he started laughing because he found the package of underwear with two more jockeys in it. He bought them and they were too big. Ooops! His bad! Thanks for the icing baby, I needed that!
Like many of you, I am a foodie. I love most foods (exept organs - I just can't go there!) and that is where my problem started! The texture of a perfectly grilled steak, the smell of home made chocolate chip cookes, the armatic flavors of Thai food just put me in the happiest of moods when I know I am about to indulge in some type of culinary delight!
When I first began reading about lap band, I thought, could it be real? Can I still enjoy food but eat only a small portion and be satisfied. Sign me up! It seemed almost too easy, until the reality sank in and I was told to do the South Beach Diet for 3 months. It's not a bad diet. It's actually the first diet I've ever stuck with - but then again, if I didn't do it, I couldn't get banded! Motivation and determination kicked in.
I started prioritizing the things I ate. I said no thank you to foods I loved and craved because they weren't part of my diet. When the preop diet, surgery, and first week of liquids was over I realized something about the lap band. This is not the easy way out! I've sacrificed, felt hunger like no other, and drank some nasty, nasty stuff for the sake of my health and my success! I can control myself! I feel so liberated - like food doesn't control my every thought and movement! I'm down 30+ lbs. since beginning my journey and can't wait to see what other discoveries I'll find while losing weight and gaining confidence! Best of luck to all of us!!!!
