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Blog 73848

A blog by grizzlyrider

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Plateau

So what's the deal. You go along week after week losing 2 lbs each week. Then, bam it stops. I know in my head that it is a plateau but my heart is all aflutter worried that "this is the end of the weight loss" All those warnings from the doctor and nurses that we can only lose 60% of our excess weight with the lapband are banging around in my head. It makes me mad. It was magic to me before. I'm really trying not to panic. I KNOW logically a plateau was bound to happen but I can't get rid of that little voice in my head telling me that this is the 4th week of no loss. I'm not eating any more than I was, I am NOT cheating and am still swimming an hour almost every day. (I have a knee that needs surgery and all I can do is swim right now.) POOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!! It makes me mad!:biggrin:

February 9, 2010

6

Dare I say it?

After my ranting and raving yesterday, I was pleasantly shocked this morning to step on the scale and see I was down 2 lbs. It felt like magic time again! Maybe my anger scared the pounds off. Anyway, I'm certainly glad to be losing once again - I really didn't believe it and had to weigh myself 3 times this morning. It's probably good the plateau happened. Now I know when it happens again it really will end. Of course, my little voice of self doubt will be nagging at me till my weigh in next week so I can see it's REALLY over! Yay:thumbup: - what a relief!

February 10, 2010

3

Reality

Today someone at work called me skinny-minny. Now I know I am not skinny but what a feeling. Everyone there has been so very supportive of me, I feel so very lucky and so glad I told everyone about my surgery. I really thought that just losing the weight would be enough but I find myself just glowing after someone says something like that. I guess I am not the tough Minnesotan that I thought I was - I actually enjoy the approval. I would never have admitted that to even myself before this journey. Another revelation I had is that I am really going to have to buy some new clothes, thought I'd be able to wait till spring but after looking at Christmas pictures I can see I will need some. Clothes that felt comfy to me are like tents on me and make me look heavier than I am. I'm not going to buy many but will hit Goodwill this weekend and see what I can find. I have never lost this much weight before in my life. Twice before I had lost 50 and it was a major struggle involving a lot of time and sacrifice. Is this still my honeymoon stage? I don't know but I like it. To think I almost chickened out before the surgery. Where would I be now? 64 lbs heavier, depressed, hopeless. Thank goodness I came to my senses. I have hope now! I'm going to go kiyaking this summer! Yes, and I'm going to ride my bike and walk in the woods AND go ballroom dancing with my husband. My life is back - I took my life back!

January 14, 2010

4

Surgery News

Haven't blogged in a while, I just have a hard time thinking of things to say - I'm basically a gal of few words. Anyway, I do have some news today. I've been having a lot of trouble with my knee for the past year and a half. Cortisone doesn't help it at all anymore and it is almost impossible to get much exercise other than swimming (which I do almost every day for an hour). Anyway, I'm going to have total knee replacement on my right knee. If you were to look at my full body pics you would see how crooked my leg has become - it is not an illusion. So, while I am a bit bummed out at having knee replacement surgery at age 56, I am really happy that I will finally be able to walk around again. I find it totally amazing that I have been able to lose 70 lbs when I can only walk (painfully):smile: 10 minutes at a time. I just keep telling myself that with the weight loss and the new knee, this summer you will not be able to see me at all I'll be moving so fast! Surgery is March 9, I took the earliest date I could so I can recover and get moving!

February 28, 2010

4

Checking In

Well I haven't blogged in a really long time - March I guess. Things have been crazy here. Weight loss has slowed way down from the beginning but I'm still slowly losing - 85 lbs down now and I'm really hoping for 100 by my one year bandiversary. Since March I've had knee replacement surgery, bought a house, planned a wedding for my daughter and went camping every darn spare minute I could! (Including riding my ATV - thus my name of grizzlyrider.) Anyway, through it all I have managed to maintain and even lose about 10 more lbs. Sometimes when I think of how the loss has slowed down I get worried I'm not working hard enough but then I take a look in the mirror to remind myself just how far I've come. Plus I really have been kind of glad it is slower - I look at the skin on my arms, legs, etc. Everything is kind of loose, looking a little wrinkly. I'm thinking slow is probably better! Give my 56 year old skin a chance to spring back as much as it can! Bought a new dress for my daughter's wedding - size 18. Not a "I can't eat till the wedding" 18 but a "this really fits great" 18. (at JC Penneys no less - not Lane Bryant!) I cried in the dressing room and made the clerks come in to be sure it really did fit. I told them my whole life story - geesh, I'm usually a really private person. Anyway, I am so grateful for this band. When I'm using it properly it works perfectly. When I slip, I know what I've done and can get right back working it without hating myself or reverting to the negative feelings about myself that were so much a part of my life preband. I feel like the band has corrected some part of me that was abnormal and that I can now be a "normal" person. Yay for the band, I wish I could give one to every single unhappy overweight person I see!!!!

July 14, 2010

2

Recovering

Well, I'm a little over 2 weeks out from my knee surgery and am recovering nicely. It was more intense than I had planned for but am glad it is over and I'm looking forward to the day when I can dash around the mall buying new clothes! I was a little worried about the time I would have to spend immobile while recovering from this, thought I'd gain weight but have not. Loving that band! Anyway, I was was watching my favorite show last night - Biggest Loser. It struck me how lucky I feel that I never have to feel deprived. One of the contestants picked up a plate of appetizers and waved it under her nose saying how it smelled sooo goood. Not only do we have the luxury of not having to completely eliminate any food, but food like that - greasy, heavy, unhealthy - does not have the appeal it once had. I truly look and feel about food in a totally different way than I did before the band. I'm not saying I never eat ice cream or unhealthy food. But, I am saying I rarely want to! Once again - loving my band!

March 25, 2010

4

Better Day

Today I had my husband take new pictures of me as I had not done that since the surgery. After my shopping disaster yesterday, I was starting to believe that I really hadn't lost any weight and my scale was playing a huge practical joke on me. I even wore the same shirt as my "before" pictures. When I put it on I was dismayed - I told him it fits just like it always did. But I did let him take the pictures and boy, was I happy. I really do see a big difference. I feel so much better. I put a couple of them in an album so you can see them for yourself. I need to do this more often!:thumbup:

January 18, 2010

4

Tomorrow's the day!!

Well, tomorrow I have my second surgery this year. I'll have a brand new knee before noon! I've decided I will look at this as the second part of my lap band surgery. The first one put in the lap band and took care of my eating issues, this surgery will take care of my exercise issues. I'm more nervous about this one but then I did not have 8 months of prep for it. So, I'll probably go through withdrawl since I won't be reading blogs for a while - even worse I won't be weighing myself for a while. Yikes! Anyway, next time I'm here I'll be on the mend and ready for the second half of my weight loss journey! :thumbup:

March 9, 2010

3

Surprising Dress Experiment

So, I have been wondering what size I am in now. I haven't been able to go shopping because of the whole knee replacement business. I suddenly remembered that in my closet there is a dress that belonged to my daughter. It is an 18 and all the clothes I have been wearing are 26/28 (granted they are baggy as can be). So, I experimented and tried the dress on (it is a long formal dress). I got it on!!! I zipped it up!!!! Shocking - now, it is too tight to actually wear anywhere but - I got it on!!! I zipped it up!!!!!! An 18!!!! Life is good!

April 1, 2010

5

Unabashed Love of the Band

On my last blog, which was in July, I said I was hoping for a 100 lb loss by my bandiversary which was August 31. Well I didn't get there but I am at -95 and still happy as I can be about this band. Just recently I had occasion to ponder about this. I flew to Las Vegas for a business trip - the seat belts fit easily AND I was able to put the tray table down with 6 inches to spare between my belly and the table! Woo whooo!!! The other thing that has really hit home to me is that 3 of my friends have decided to get banded (one of them did just last Friday) and this was with no prompting from me at all. This has all made me feel very grateful and proud of all I have accomplished this past year. So, I want to tell all newly banded people - hang in there, the pain of surgery will go away, "bandster hell" will end and you will change your life forever! :smile2:

November 7, 2010

6

Better than a joke!

Today I walked into work after being gone for 2 weeks and my coworker burst out laughing. Apparently my coat is now so baggy it is humerous! What's better than that!!??! We had a wonderful time with our kids back east over the holidays. It's funny but without my ever present scale to jump on I kept feeling like I was out of control and gaining weight. Apparently not because I lost 4 lbs during those 2 weeks - can I say again how I feel this is magic! For anyone who is scared and just can't decide if they want to do this, I wish I could pass this feeling on to them. It's the best thing I have ever done for myself. I spent Saturday visiting with a friend who is interested in getting the band but her doctor refuses to refer her. I just want to shake her. Well, I do believe that when my friend gets really serious she will make it happen but it is so frustrating that she is wasting this time. She is diabetic and has high blood pressure and I know she would be happier. Well, we can only do what is right for ourselves. Another thing that has been driving me crazy lately (and I apologize to any bypass people who may read this but it really does drive me crazy). Why is it that doctors push bypass surgery, why do they tell us that we can only lose 40 to 50% of our excess weight, why do they tell us we must exercise like fiends? All you have to do is look at this forum and see all the very successful people with the band, many of them losing over 100 lbs. Happy, happy people, not people with stretched pouches that have not learned to curb their eating because they are relying on malabsorbtion (geesh is that spelled right?) Anyway, I'm ranting. The band is good - I love my band! Life is good!

January 5, 2010

4

woo whoo!

Well, another week has come and gone and 2 more lbs has come and gone. Every week it just keeps happening! It's kind of funny, when I'm bored, it still works, when I get down in the dumps, it still works. The consistancy of it is so very amazing to me and I think that is why I still think it is all a dream and when I wake up I'll be back to my old weight. In the past, when I dieted, it was so stressful, it was like pulling teeth to get even 1 lb off like I had to punish myself severely for it to come off. I think this is what I needed, this tool is perfect for me. I have always been a healthy eater but a high volume eater. My band has removed that anxiety that grows and grows in my until I have to eat something. I know it is not magic but a tool but I have to say it feels like magic to me. I'm loving my band!:thumbup:

December 8, 2009

5

Shopping Disaster

So, today I went out to buy some clothes since all the winter clothes are on sale this weekend. I was quite excited because after 64 lbs lost I figured I'd have a wonderful time trying on all the smaller sizes. No, this is not what happened. First I tried on a coat, 2X (I am now wearinng a baggy 3X) it was too tight. This scared me so I tried on several 2X and 3X shirts - most did not fit me. I cannot believe it. Those are the sizes I have been wearing for several years and all my clothes are way too big. The only thing I can figure out is that I have only been buying clothes from the Lane Bryant catalog for a long time and they must run much bigger than the women's sizes in stores like Penneys and Sears. I'm hoping this is the answer but boy was my balloon burst. So, I'm swearing off shopping until spring, I'll just muddle through the rest of winter with what I have. I'm not going to buy clothes at the same size or larger after all I have been through! This put a major damper on my whole mood today. Tomorrow I'm making my husband take some new pictures of me because I have not done that since I started (except for a couple random shots at Christmas). I'm sure that will perk me up, everyone keeps telling me that I look so much different. We'll see. You may or may not remember that I am the one that has to jump on the scale every morning because I'm afraid all the weight loss has been a dream and is not real. Today did not help. Sorry I'm down in the dumps today, hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.:thumbup:

January 17, 2010

6

Sweet Spot

Well, I think I've found my sweet spot. Had my 4th fill last week and really can tell a big difference. Not only do I get the burp signal when I'm done but I'm satisfied well over 4 hours! An exciting milestone. Spent the afternoon taking in my pants. I really don't feel like buying new ones quite yet so this will do for now. My shirts are hanging like bags but I have enough smaller ones to switch to until I'm ready to buy. It's so very exciting. We leave for PA on Thursday. I'm so excited to see my girls and my baby grandson. I keep wondering if they will see a difference in me and my husband just laughs at me because he says I am withering away. I just hope they're not expecting too much of a difference, I have a long way to go yet! So, things are still going good, another week that I am grateful for my band!

December 14, 2009

6

Vacation!

Tomorrow we fly off to see our girls. I am so excited! Today I was trying to explain to a coworker why I wasn't a big Christmas junkie but I realized tonight that I had just surpressed it because of not being with my kids. Didn't even let myself listen to Christmas music for a couple years. Anyway, that's neither here nor there, we're going to see them tomorrow! I'm leaving here with a great weight loss of 58 lbs, not really worried anymore that nobody will notice because that is becoming a silly thought. It seems like overnight my clothes became even baggier than they were yesterday. Very strange. The pants I took in last weekend are still quite baggy and I guess I'll have to buy new ones soon but gee they feel good baggy! Anyway, I'll miss coming to this site every day. It keeps me sane to know there are others out there going through the same thing I am. I'm hoping for another loss when I get back - it will be torture not being able to jump on my scale every day but probably good for me too. Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone - keep up the good work and have fun!

December 17, 2009

1

First Blog

Well it's the day after Thanksgiving and I am starting my first blog. Not so sure what I'll say but will start by saying how grateful I am to have this band. It gave me control yesterday without any feeling of being deprived. They say it is only a tool but it feels like a magic tool to me. I truly feel like the day of my surgery was the first day of the rest of my life. Today, I am not going into a frenzy of eating because I was so controlled yesterday. This is the first time in my life that I do not feel I am at the mercy of my food addiction. Yeahhhhh! With that thought, that is my first blog!:cool2:

November 28, 2009

2

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