I had/have some unresolved issues with my exhusband. Things (my fault) came to a head 2 days ago and I have been eating such garbage.
I love my boyfriend. He is such a good, handsome man. So why do I keep fighting with my ex?
I had such fire, passion with him. What I have with my new man is wonderful, comforting, LOVE. Why can't I just let go of someone who has hurt me more than I have ever allowed anyone to hurt me?:confused:
I saw my doctor for the first time since banding. I didn't ask for her recommendation prior to doing it, I didn't even tell her.
She was very cautionary and said she has never seen anyone be successful in the long run of the patients she sees with the lap band. And she stressed making good habits as they will be what determines how success you are in the long run.
I have got to get off the protein shakes. When I told her about relying on them, she said "listen to yourself. You know what you need to do, so why aren't you doing it?" It was a rhetorical question, but what popped in my head was LAZINESS. Laziness is the only thing keeping me from eating correctly.
I got to do better. I have to concentrate on making permanent changes instead of just watching the scale go down.
I officially lost 100 lbs as of today!
In the past, one of the things I was doing wrong trying to loose weight is first thing, I would run out and buy things. I would decide to try to loose weight so I would go out and buy some exercise equipment, some clothing or shoes, a gym membership, you name it and I would buy it. Unfortunately what it did was set me up for failure. I felt I was "accomplishing" something by making the purchase and inevitably I wouldn't follow through.
So this time, one of the commitments I made to myself was to not run out and buy anything. Rather, I was going to use my purchases as rewards for reaching goals, instead of a means to reach a goal.
My 100 lb goal reward is a new bicycle. I had mine stole a couple of years back. I really miss it. I had an Electra Black Betty. It was a cool retro cruiser; black with pink flames and rims.
So I went to the shop I originally purchased my Betty from and they no longer stock the bikes, but will still order one for you. They handed me a 2010 brochure and I went to McAllisters Deli so I could get a glass of tea and enjoy picking my reward. (If you have never had McAllisters Ice Tea, it is wonderful, delicious)
I start flipping through the brochure, loving each new bike on each page flip. Until, that is, I come across a huge picture of a Mammy doll. And the heading on the page is "Inspiration". Jesus, it's 2010!
So anyways, now I sorta lost my excitement. :thumbup: