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kutia's Journal

A blog by kutia

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MOVE, DARN IT!!!

AAARRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pray2: :) :) :) :) :) :) I'm seriously at my wit's end here folks. If you'll scroll back through this journal you'll see why. I have been stuck at 210 for over a month now. I've got decent restriction, I go to they gym. AND YET! The scale has refused to budge. Yesterday, I put myself on liquids and I went to the gym and pushed myself as hard as I could. I checked the scale tonight and it maybe went down 1/2 a pound. Its driving me crazy. I don't want to go get another fill just yet. Even though that seems to be the only time that I actually lose weight. That just isn't good enough. I need to make the weight go away, even between fills. Until I can figure out how to do that, I'm not getting another fill. Unless of course the scale goes in the wrong direction. I'm so close to One-derland that I can practically hear it. I can hear all the people who've already gotten there. And they're mocking me. Nyah-nyah-nyah!!!!! I'M JUST SO FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

January 13, 2007

2

Over the river

and through the roads....to granddaughter's house she comes. Well, it is practically Xmas and Granny is on her way. I wonder if she'll notice how much smaller I am compared to the last time she saw me. I hope so. I'm going to go clothes shopping after Xmas. I need at least a new pair of jeans and a new pair of workout pants. I'm planning on getting them slightly tight so that I can watch them get baggy. How twisted is that? Hi, Ho, Hi, Ho, Its off to work I go.

December 23, 2006

2

6 month Anniversary

Hey y'all :confused: I'm posting pics taken on my 6 month anniversary. I've lost about 80 lbs. since I began my pre-surgery diet. My jeans are now size 18 petite. The shirt is not the same as in previous pics. It is a size 2x. I know it looks similar. What can I say - I'm partial to blue. The dog in the foreground is named Baylor, ain't he cute?

February 4, 2007

2

12 days post-op

I just read back over my journal and realized that I forgot to post anything about goals & rewards. Which means the ipod line in the previous post makes absolutely no sense. Whoops. ********************************************************* REWARDS -30 lbs. (250) I'm going to buy an ipod. -50 lbs. (230) I'm going to buy a Van Gogh print. -75 lbs. (205) I'm going to buy my dream dress. -100 lbs. (180) I'm going to go horseback riding. -125 lbs. (155) I"m going to an amusement park and ride roller coasters. -140 lbs. (140 goal) I'm going to take a "discovery flight" at a flight school. ************************************************

August 17, 2006

2

7/8/06 ~ 280 lbs.

Hiya. Let's see, where to begin? How about some stats? 28 yrs., 5'4'', 280 lbs. I'm still deciding whether or not to get the band. I'll be self-pay and I'm afraid it's just too expensive. I went to a seminar today at the Surgery Center of Richardson. From what I saw it looked like a very nice facility. The presenters were great, but I was a bit disappointed not to actually get to meet the doctor. His Nurse was there and she was very competent and seemed nice. She has the band herself and has lost quite a bit of weight. I've got a consultation with Dr. Jayaseelan on 7/19/06. We'll see how I feel then. I have started buying (and sampling) the liquids that I would have to be on before surgery. I've even given up Dt. Pepsi. Which is a major sacrifice for me. I'm still worried about the money, but I'll probably take the plunge. I'm tired of cringing every time I catch sight of myself in a mirror.

July 23, 2006

2

In a hurry...

:clap2: I don't have time for a lengthy entry right now... I'll be back later to add to this. I just wanted to put this in: :clap2: :scared: :biggrin1: :nervous edit: Okay, NOW I have time. I have been a lazy sloth this week when it comes to going to the gym. The last time I went was Oct. 23 (I think). Whenever it was, it was too long ago. Some of the days I have an actual reason for not going. Not an excuse but a Reason. I'm a substitute teacher and I also have another job in the evenings. So when I have a sub. job and have to go to my other job, I really don't have time to make it to the gym. Of course, this does not explain the days I didn't have a sub. job (or my other job, for that matter) and still didn't go to the gym. Those days I just had an excuse, like "oh I can't go today, it's raining." Yeah, like it was raining inside the gym. Or "I need to go to the grocery store." Apparently in my world it is impossible to do both. I really just need a swift kick in the ass. No, I take that back. I really just need to go to the gym. I need to keep my January goal in mind. I can't make that goal if I don't go to the gym. What's that you ask? "Am I going to the gym today?" Um, no. I can't today, they're closed.

November 3, 2006

2

07/25/06 ~

The doctor's office called yesterday and left a messge asking me to call them back. I didn't get the message until much too late to call. So I called them this morning. I got transferred to three different people before finally getting the one with whom I needed to speak. Seriously, don't they talk to each other in that office? The whole point was to tell me to arrive at the Surgery Center at 11:30 a.m. instead of 10:45 a.m. I guess my surgery has been pushed later in the day. That's fine, I guess, I did double check to make sure it is at least the same day. I just the hope the doctor is more on the ball than his office staff. :mad: **Just got a call from the Surgery Center of Richardson (that's where I'm having mine). They just wanted to confirm that I am indeed a self-pay and they let me know which types of payment are acceptable: cashier's check, money order or credit (not debit) card. I was also told to expect a call from them on the 3rd. (the day before surgery). I assume that is for the anesthesiologist to tell me which meds I'm allowed to take. Which will be a short conversation as I don't have any meds. I'll probably also be reminded not to eat or drink anything after midnight. Maybe SCOR's staff is a little more competent than the office staff.

July 25, 2006

2

de-frustrated

Well, okay. I'm way less frustrated now. (Notice the calm green font color?) Yesterday was my weigh-in/measurement day at Curves. According to them, I weigh 210. I know what you're saying... that's what had me all tweaked out before. True, BUT that was fully dressed and wearing shoes. When I got home I took a little sneak peek on my own scale, it says.....205. I think I just needed (and still do need) to work harder at the gym and make sure that my heartrate is where it needs to be. I've also got measurements from Curves, so here they are. Purple is last month :clap2: Blue is current :clap2: Red is shrinkage:clap2: Bust ~ ........48 in.......................46.5 .......................-1.5 Waist~ .......45 in. .....................43.5 ........................-1.5 Abdomen~ 49 in. .....................47.5.........................-1.5 Hips~ .........47.5 in. ..................47 ............................ -.5 Thighs~ .....52 in. .....................52 ........................... -0 Arms~ .......30 in.......................30 ............................-0 Body Fat~ .41 % ......................39.9 ....................... -1.10% So you see, the life lesson here is: "Don't get frustrated, get measured!" Thanks, Teresita for pointing that out.

January 17, 2007

2

not yet!

Some of you may be wondering what happened to last week's entry. That's easy, I didn't write one. I didn't want to have to journal again with a ticker that is still above 200. Oh well, I've gotten over that. I really missed my journal. Of course there are probably people out there really glad that I had stopped babbling. Tough cookies.:heh: I'm still not in One-derland. I am however on the border, there just seems to be some kind of trouble with my passport. I'm sure it'll all be straightened out soon. The last fill I got has really given me some good restriction. Now I've just got to get over that guilt at leaving food on my plate. It just seems so wasteful. There is a Rec. center (gym) next door to my work. On Monday, I am going to pop in there for at least a 1/2 hour to use their treadmill. I am a member at Curves and I go 3x a week. But because of my work hours and Curves' open hours, I can only go Tues., Weds. & Thurs. That leaves Friday, Saturday, Sunday & Monday basically exercise free. Not really a good thing. I just gotta remember to take my ipod and workout clothes to work on Monday. i am committed to making goal by by birthday!

February 11, 2007

2

4 month anniversary pic.

Okay, it is officially my 4 month banding anniversary today. I had my mom take a picture to record my progress. I'm wearing basically the same outfit that I wore in my "before" and 2 month anniversary picture. The jeans are a loose 22. I can pull them on & off without unzipping or unbuttoning. The top is the same top: a 3x. I think it looks (and feels) looser. Two months from now I should be in a brand-new outfit. I'm not going shopping for new clothes until after New Year's.

December 4, 2006

2

Liquids day 1

I start LIQUIDS this morning. That means that I am exactly 7 days pre-op. :eek: :eek: My surgery is scheduled for August 4 at 12:30. So this time next week, I will be cruising up the highway headed for the surgery center. :eek: :eek: :eek: This "EEK" icon is going to be getting a workout, I get the feeling that the closer I get the more terrified I will become. I weighed myself this morning to check on my starting weight. My bathroom scale said 280. When I went to Dr. Jay's for my "consultation", my scale said 280, but theirs said 272.5. I'm sure their scale is more accurate, but mine is more convienently located. Therefore, my starting weight is officially 280 lbs. 11:30 p.m. Well, I made it through the first day of Liquids only. I can't believe I did. All day long I've been dreaming about the things I can't have. I don't watch much TV so at least I wasn't tortured that way. Instead the book I was reading tortured me. The main character kept making waffles. :hungry: Oh, well. What I drank today: apple juice, lots of ice water, 2 Slim-Fast Optima shakes, 1/2 bottle of grape flavored Fruit 2 O, 3 servings of Jell-O (1 peach, 2 watermelon). What I wouldn't do for a hamburger and fries.

July 28, 2006

2

moving slow

Okay, so I know it says 205 on the day I got de-frustrated. But I guess that was really just a fluke. It wasn't "official" either, since it wasn't a Friday. I do have an Offficial weight now, and it is less than 210 so I'm a happy camper. Well, content anyway. For now. I started grad. school this past week. So far its pretty awesome (and yes, I know I'm too old to use that word.) The degree program is almost completely online and it is completely legit. I finally broke down and scheduled another fill. I wanted to wait until I could lose weight even between fills. I am now, although slowly. That's okay, that is what the band is for, to give me a little boost when I need one. I just don't want to rely completely on fills. (Reading back over this post, I think I used way too many commas. And parentheses.)

January 21, 2007

1

Liquids Day 3

7-30-06 ~ Chalk up another :clap2: for me. I made it through another day. I haven't cheated at all. Today was my first real willpower/determination test. For her lunch my mom brought home Burger King. I don't care for their hamburgers, but the FRIES!!!:faint: She even left the room and I couldv'e stolen some. But I didn't steal ANY!!! That is major, I deserve at least :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: ! I'm so glad she didn't bring home Chick-fil-a (not that she could on a Sunday), I would've stolen her sandwich. I took a peek at the scale this afternoon. I shouldn't have, I'm trying not to fall into that trap of weighing myself too often. But I just couldn't resist. It did make me giggle though and that's all I'm going to say until Friday. Friday is my banding day ( :eek: :eek: :eek: ) so Fridays are going to be my official weigh-in day. Breakfast: apple juice Lunch: Slimfast choc. Supper: Slimfast van. Snack: watermelon jello, Mixed Berry Juice

July 31, 2006

1

special weekly update

:happybday2: Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear me, Happy Birthday to me! :happybday: Well, its my birthday again. Just like last year. I am hoping to be at goal by this time next year. You would think I'd be able to accomplish that. I've lost 60 lbs. in the 4 months since my surgery. I've got 80 lbs. left to lose before goal, so it should be possible to lose that over the next 12 months. That is my major long-term goal: to be at goal by my next birthday. Which will be the 1st. anniversary of my 29th. I've had a much better week, gym-wise. I went three times this week. I've been doing each machine and station twice in a row. Somehow this makes me think the workout is shorter. I've got a gullible brain I guess. My ticker remains the same. At least didn't gain during my period of sloth-itude. I'm just stalled. I'm getting another fill next week.

December 8, 2006

1

New Pics!!

Well it was my 8 months anniversary a few days ago. So I had my mom take some 8 months pics. Let's see now: the jeans are size 18 petite, the top is an XL. Just btw, this top has been hanging in my closet for over 4 years. I'm including my 6 month photo for comparison. The blue top is 6 months, the khaki top is current.

April 6, 2007

1

Best laid plans...

often go awry. It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood today. So I have this brilliant plan. I'll attach the bike carrier to my car, attach the bike to the carrier and head for this park with nice bike trails that I heard about recently. Well the first part of the plan went well. Okay, it didn't go well. But it did get accomplished. I got the carrier attached to my car. It only took 15 minutes. Supposed to take 5, but whatever. I figured it out, with only minimal forehead slapping. Ahh, but then we come to the next part of the plan. Putting the bike in the carrier. That part never happened. And now I think I have head trauma, I smacked myself in the forehead so much. I tried to position it everway I could think of. I even tried upside down! I knew it could go, because that's how I got the darned thing home from the store. Anyway, to make a long (and kinda boring, if you're not me) story a little bit shorter, I went to the bike shop and asked the guy to show me how to put the bike in. Using a different bike obviously, since mine was still at the house. Apparently the guy who put the bike in the carrier when I bought it, didn't put it in right. Or something, I don't know. So the other guy at the store said I needed an adapter. So I bought one and went home (with a quick stop at the office supply store, because I am a geek and love that place.) But by the time I got home, it felt too late to go to the park. The window of opportunity had closed (for me anyway.) Maybe I'll try again next week.

March 12, 2007

1

grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSH-DARNED, ADDLE-PATED, TWIT-HEADS AT THE BORDER TO ONE-DERLAND STILL WON'T LET ME IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

February 17, 2007

1

Bought a bike!

I've been thinking about buying a bike for awhile now. I got some great advice from other LBTers. So, I went out and bought my new bike today. The salesdude let me take it for a spin around the parking lot. I was grinning like an idiot. I forgot how much fun it was. If anyone in the Dallas area wants a new bike, I highly recommend B&B Bicycles. Those guys are awesome! Here are some pics. of my new exercise "toy." I'm going for my 2nd fill tomorrow. I am so very much looking forward to getting some real restriction. I need my scale to start moving in the right direction, before I lose my mind.

October 11, 2006

1

Challenge Update.

I've gotten tired of typing all my entries in the same font and color. I decided it looks boring. Anyway, on to the challenge update. For those of you just joining my journal, I have challenged myself to get below 200 (199 to be specific) by New Year's Day. I started this when I had 36 pounds to go and 3 months to lose them. I'm doing pretty good. Even if I am a sloth who hasn't been to the gym in weeks. Somebody needs to kick my ass! Do they have an ass-kicking icon? Doesn't look like it, this icon will do though. :whip: This is what I need, someone standing behind me with a whip to make me go to the gym. At least until I get back in the routine. Any volunteers? So here's my challenge ticker:

November 14, 2006

1

2nd. Fill

I had my 2nd. fill today. This time Arlene the R.N. (or is she an N.P., I can never remember) gave me my fill. I think she's faster at it than Dr. Jay. The needle hurt a little more but really still not bad. I think she just didn't bother with the numbing shot. She added 2 cc so now I have 7 cc in my band. I have the Vanguard which according to Dr. Jay can hold up to 14 cc. Arlene said I would be "super tight" now, so we'll see how it goes. Oh, according to my chart I lost 10 lbs. since my last fill.

October 11, 2006

1

Post-op day 1

Well, I didnt' say how much later. Arrived at 11:15, a few minutes later I got called into the office to pay and sign legal type papers: privacy rights, permission to take pics. or video for their records, an agreement to allow Dr. J to cut me, etc. My dad & aunt also got coupons for a free meal at the cafe next door. Then I waited just a few more minutes and a nurse called me back. Took me into a bathroom/changing room and showed me the patient outfit. A huge piece of fabric with armholes and strings that tie behind your neck. Also a pair of socks that I got to keep. All your other clothing (and I mean all) bra and panties too go in a plastic bag. Then I gave a urine sample which you send to the lab through the little door in the wall. Its kind of like the kind in connecting hotel rooms - doubledoored. Next stop pre-op room. The Nurse was named Mercy and she was extremely nice and capable. First thing was to weigh me. According to their scale 260.8 which means a 13 lb loss. This does not quite jibe with my scale at home. My scale said 265 which means a 15 lb. loss. Earlier I said my scale was going to be my official ticker scale so see below for my ticker. Back to what went on in the pre-op room. Got into a patient bed and she asked me all sorts of questions: did I follow my diet, last thing I had to eat or drink was when, anything foreign in my body (which includes tampons), any allergies to anasthesia in the family, do I have history of high blood pressure. Then she started an I.V. I was given the choice of in the hand or the elbow. I let her choose, she knows which one she's better at. I got Versed (sp?) for pain. They must be really concerned about preventing blood clots, they put anti-blood clot booties on my and gave me a shot to prevent them. That shot left a big old bruise on my hip. The OR nurse and the anasthesiologist both came in to chat, repeated the same questions Mercy had already asked. Then it was on to the O.R. They wheeled me down a hallway to the O.R. put a mask over my face (I think) and then................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................. ............................................ I woke up saying "ow". That was about all I could manage to say for a few minutes then I added "water". Remember I'd never had any type of surgery before at all. So this was a completley new experience for me. I'm real fuzzy on the details as to what actually happened. I think I kept asking to lay back down and go back to sleep but they wouldn't let me. One of the nurses went and got my dad & my aunt. I had to go do the "swallow" before they would let me have any water. It tasted like chalk. Then they led me back to my chair and gave me some water. Oh it was so good. They also told me that I'd had an hiatal hernia and the doctor repaired it while he was in there. I also got some Lortab for pain. Then they made sure I could pee and one of the nurses helped me get dressed and it was time to go home. Dad pulled the car around and everybody helped me in. Even my mom who had to help me in by phone seeing as how she's on a business trip. It was 3:15 when we left. On the way home Dad stopped at Walmart and got me some GasX and some gatorade to sip. That's all I drank for the rest of the day. I slept most of the way home, except for the bumps. I already posted what I did for the rest of the day, alternated the recliner and walking. I also used the breathing thing. I dont' know what it is called. I have to suck in and get the thingamajiggy to hit a certain mark. I'm supposed to do it 10 times an hour I think. But its hard, I guess I don't have much lung capacity. Then I took some more of my medicine Hydrocodone and went to bed. Except I didn't sleep in my bed. I was afraid I might pull something trying to lay down or roll over. So I slept in the recliner in my room. So now this morning I have a sore back. Not real bright I guess. I'm slowly drinking an Unjury chocolate flavored protein shake. That's all folks.

August 5, 2006

1

weekly update SV!!!!

Happy Friday the 13th. It's my lucky day!! Come won't you join me in a happy dance? Check out my ticker... That's right, I've lost 50 lbs. I walked into my mom's office today saying "All hail me, she who hath lost 50 lbs." I got cheers and a round of appalause. I think the new bike and the fact that I've been on liquids since Wednesday really helped jump-start the scale. So, to recap, I've already made my September goal, I'm back on track for my January 1 self-challenge, AND I made it to my 2nd. mini-goal. You know what that means, it's Van Gogh time. Wahoo!!!!! :dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance:

October 13, 2006

1

no more free fills

Okay, I got my last free fill yesterday. Dr. Jay gives free fills for a year after surgery. My year is up on August 4. I doubt I'll need another fill before then. I'm on liquids until Wednesday. I got another CC put in. My total fill level is now 11cc. I hope it works for a long time, since now I'll have to start paying $150 for each fill. I'm going to take a road trip to visit my grandmother soon. I'm taking my bicycle with me. She lives out in the boonies, so there isn't much else to do.

July 20, 2007

1

I'm Baaaaack!!

Okay, it has been a really long time since I was on this site. I have been super lazy lately. Basically, my loss has completely stalled because I haven't been exercising. I still have 30 lbs. to go. I am determined to lose that before my 2 year anniversary. The trouble is my old food demons are coming back to visit. I'm tired and stressed and worried about the future and all of that makes me go in the pantry and eat. :thumbdown: I'm hoping that by coming back to my blog (last time I was here it was a journal) regularly will help focus me again.

May 23, 2008

1

self-challenge update

I think I've made a good start on my January 1 challenge. Even with the minor setback I had a few weeks ago. I think my 2nd. fill has actually given me some restriction. I'm going to go to Curves 3x a week and try to ride my bike everyday. Hopefully that will help keep the weight loss going.

October 16, 2006

1

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