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MOVE, DARN IT!!!

AAARRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pray2: :) :) :) :) :) :) I'm seriously at my wit's end here folks. If you'll scroll back through this journal you'll see why. I have been stuck at 210 for over a month now. I've got decent restriction, I go to they gym. AND YET! The scale has refused to budge. Yesterday, I put myself on liquids and I went to the gym and pushed myself as hard as I could. I checked the scale tonight and it maybe went down 1/2 a pound. Its driving me crazy. I don't want to go get another fill just yet. Even though that seems to be the only time that I actually lose weight. That just isn't good enough. I need to make the weight go away, even between fills. Until I can figure out how to do that, I'm not getting another fill. Unless of course the scale goes in the wrong direction. I'm so close to One-derland that I can practically hear it. I can hear all the people who've already gotten there. And they're mocking me. Nyah-nyah-nyah!!!!! I'M JUST SO FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kutia

kutia

 

Milestone

Hi Its been awhile. I've been lazy both in updating this journal and exercising. I just haven't felt like doing either. Work and grad school are taking up just about all of my time. When I'm not doing grad work, I'm thinking about doing grad work. I don't have much brain capacity left.  

kutia

kutia

 

Measurements

My measurements as of 7-29-06 (day 2 pre-op liquids). Calf: 17.5 inches Thigh: 26.5 inches Hips: 55.4 inches Waist: 51 inches Bust: 53 inches Bicep: 17 inches   My before pictures as of 7-28-06 (day 1 pre-op liquids). I think the photos are fairly self-explanatory. My jeans and top are size 24 (edging into a size 26). I also wear 3x.

kutia

kutia

 

Long time, no journal

I hadn't realized that it had been so long since I've updated my journal. Well, there really hasn't been all that much going on. I just got another fill two days ago. I think this was my 6th. and I forgot to ask Dr. Jay what level I'm at. Oh, well. I'll try to remember to ask next time. I'm sneaking up on 100 lbs. lost. Since I have to be on liquids for the next 4 days, I may make it. That is if I can keep myself from cheating too much. I've pretty much stopped going to Curves. Maybe I'll pop in there from time to time if I'm bored, but not regularly. As soon as my contract is up, I'm not renewing. Its a nice starter gym, but I think I'm ready for something else. Maybe after I'm no longer paying Curves monthly, I'll look into getting a treadmill or an ellipitcal. I do an elliptical at the rec. center near my work (its free). I like it. That's all the news I have.

kutia

kutia

 

Liquids Day 6

I've quit eating the jello entirely. I've switched to popsicles instead. Yummy. Of course if I had alternated from the beginning I might not have gotten so sick of the jello.   My aunt arrived this morning. She is the most horrible person in the world!!!! She brought DIVINITY with her for my mom. That is just cruel. Divinity is THE best candy in the world and extremely hard to make. Which is why my mom & I never try to make it. The last time I think we screwed up 3 batches before we got it right. Mom & my aunt keep eating pieces and telling me how bad it is. Yeah right, I am so sure. (in my head that came out in a "valleygirl" voice. Which I do very well). Then they went out to eat, I stayed home. That's ok, they went to an Italian place that I dont' really care for.   Well, my surgery is the day after tomorrow. I'm trying not to think about it too much. I'm a pessimist and slightly paranoid, if I think about it too much then I'll just think about everything that could go wrong. I'm trying hard to hang on to my happy thoughts.

kutia

kutia

 

Liquids Day 6

Well this was my last day of clear liquids only. :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: Yippee!!! I can't believe I made without cheating. Unless you count the watermelon which I don't. 12 hours from now I'll be on my way to the surgery center. Yikes.   The anesthesiologist called earlier to go over pre-op instructions. She also asked for the name and cell number of the person who was going to be driving me. And here are my instructions: nothing to eat or drink after midnight
drink two full glasses of water after supper
don't wear any jewelry, contacts or hair accessories
wear comfortable clothing
arrive an hour prior
bring method of payment This is the diet I am allowed to have post-op:   DAYS 1-14 AFTER SURGERY   In addition to the clear liquids, you may have the following: Milkshakes Protein Shakes Smoothies V8 juice Tomato soup Cream soups

kutia

kutia

 

Liquids Day 5

Not much to report today. I am definitely sick of the Jello. I think I must be going through Chick-fil-a withdrawal or something. My stomach has felt out of whack all day. Mild nausea (especially when I had some Jello:rolleyes: ) and it feels kind of crampy. Nothing bad, just uncomfortable. I'll be so, so glad when I graduate to mushies. I'm going up to airport tomorrow to pick up my nursemaid for the week after surgery. My aunt is coming in for a whole week. I hope it is entirely unnecessary.

kutia

kutia

 

Liquids Day 4

Wow, I'm over half way there! The jell-o is good, but I'm starting to get extremely sick of it. I tried some beef broth today just for a change of pace. I decided it wasn't worth eating. It was better than the chicken broth. I guess I'm just not a fan of broth. I've never really been a soup person either. I think Spaghettios was as close I've ever gotten. I can't believe how much I am looking forward to mushies. :hungry: Gimmee some of those grits!!   Okay I deviated from the "doctor-approved" liquid diet today.:phanvan I don't think it was a big bad though. It was watermelon. All told I probably had about 2 cups. Watermelon is mostly water anyway, so I'm hoping that doesn't really count as cheating. My mom grew it herself in her garden and she was just so proud of herself. I couldn't turn it down.   I'm not going to post what I ate (loosely speaking) today. If you want to know, scroll back through the past three days.

kutia

kutia

 

Liquids Day 3

7-30-06 ~ Chalk up another :clap2: for me. I made it through another day. I haven't cheated at all. Today was my first real willpower/determination test. For her lunch my mom brought home Burger King. I don't care for their hamburgers, but the FRIES!!!:faint: She even left the room and I couldv'e stolen some. But I didn't steal ANY!!! That is major, I deserve at least :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: ! I'm so glad she didn't bring home Chick-fil-a (not that she could on a Sunday), I would've stolen her sandwich.   I took a peek at the scale this afternoon. I shouldn't have, I'm trying not to fall into that trap of weighing myself too often. But I just couldn't resist. It did make me giggle though and that's all I'm going to say until Friday. Friday is my banding day ( :eek: :eek: :eek: ) so Fridays are going to be my official weigh-in day.   Breakfast: apple juice Lunch: Slimfast choc. Supper: Slimfast van. Snack: watermelon jello, Mixed Berry Juice

kutia

kutia

 

liquids day 2

Yippee!!:clap2: I made it through another day. My tummy actually "rumbled" today. I'm a boredom and "hey, it's there" kind of eater, so that hasn't happened in the longest time. It is DIET CENTRAL in my house, since I usually do the cooking. I told my mom that I could be bribed to cook her a hamburger. She said "no, I think that would be too much like cruel & unusual punishment for you." She was right. We went to the grocery store today. Which was a whole other kind of torture, it being "sample day". I stocked up on Jell-O (which I've decided is really good), popsicles, apple & peach juice, flavored water and powder flavoring.   Breakfast: apple juice Lunch: Slimfast Supper: Slimfast Snacks: 2 jello endless cups of ice water

kutia

kutia

 

Liquids day 1

I start LIQUIDS this morning. That means that I am exactly 7 days pre-op. :eek: :eek: My surgery is scheduled for August 4 at 12:30. So this time next week, I will be cruising up the highway headed for the surgery center. :eek: :eek: :eek: This "EEK" icon is going to be getting a workout, I get the feeling that the closer I get the more terrified I will become.   I weighed myself this morning to check on my starting weight. My bathroom scale said 280. When I went to Dr. Jay's for my "consultation", my scale said 280, but theirs said 272.5. I'm sure their scale is more accurate, but mine is more convienently located. Therefore, my starting weight is officially 280 lbs.   11:30 p.m. Well, I made it through the first day of Liquids only. I can't believe I did. All day long I've been dreaming about the things I can't have. I don't watch much TV so at least I wasn't tortured that way. Instead the book I was reading tortured me. The main character kept making waffles. :hungry: Oh, well.   What I drank today: apple juice, lots of ice water, 2 Slim-Fast Optima shakes, 1/2 bottle of grape flavored Fruit 2 O, 3 servings of Jell-O (1 peach, 2 watermelon).   What I wouldn't do for a hamburger and fries.

kutia

kutia

 

Liquids are aw(ful)some!

I hate being on liquids. I love being on liquids. I hate being on liquids. I love being on liquids. I hate being on liquids. I love being on liquids.   They're both true, but I can't make up my mind which is more true. I hate liquids because I would really like a hamburger or some Chick-fil-a. I love liquids because they broke my stall. I've been stalled for 3 weeks now. I had my 4th. fill on Wednesday (9cc total) and Dr. Jay requires liquids for a whole week. I've lost 7 lbs. since Wednesday. :biggrin1: :clap2: :biggrin1:   I've also had a NSV. I was trying to get ready for work and it took me 15 minutes to find a pair of pants that wouldn't make me look like an M.C. Hammer impersonator. That day my work handed out Wal-Mart giftcards for Xmas. So I figured I would use it to buy 2 pairs of workpants. I've been wearing size 22 pants. The ones I bought for work are 16/18!! They're a little snug but that means I'll be able to wear them longer. After Xmas I'll be going shopping for everyday clothes. I can't believe that I'm actually looking forward to going shopping.   It is also time for a challenge update. Those three weeks at a stall have really shortened my chances of making this goal. I'll get close though and I'm happy with that.

kutia

kutia

 

In a hurry...

:clap2: I don't have time for a lengthy entry right now... I'll be back later to add to this. I just wanted to put this in:   :clap2: :scared: :biggrin1: :nervous   edit: Okay, NOW I have time. I have been a lazy sloth this week when it comes to going to the gym. The last time I went was Oct. 23 (I think). Whenever it was, it was too long ago. Some of the days I have an actual reason for not going. Not an excuse but a Reason. I'm a substitute teacher and I also have another job in the evenings. So when I have a sub. job and have to go to my other job, I really don't have time to make it to the gym. Of course, this does not explain the days I didn't have a sub. job (or my other job, for that matter) and still didn't go to the gym. Those days I just had an excuse, like "oh I can't go today, it's raining." Yeah, like it was raining inside the gym. Or "I need to go to the grocery store." Apparently in my world it is impossible to do both. I really just need a swift kick in the ass. No, I take that back. I really just need to go to the gym. I need to keep my January goal in mind. I can't make that goal if I don't go to the gym.   What's that you ask? "Am I going to the gym today?" Um, no. I can't today, they're closed.

kutia

kutia

 

I'M IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:welcomeB: :bounce: :first: :first: :wow2: :wow2::cocktail: :humble: :humble: :humble: :humble: :humble: :thumb: :thumb: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :D I GOT INTO ONE-DERLAND!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY, I MADE IT!!!!!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!!! :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :P :peace: :peace: :peace: :whoo: :whoo: :whoo: :whoo: :whoo: :Banane10: :rofl: :rofl: :huggie: :rofl::scales: :rofl: Thanks to my band, I've learned... that blueberry NutriGrain bars are really good. They make a great breakfast & defend against fast food if they live in my purse.
to never go shopping with my mother. I wind up spending too much money.
that when my left shoulder joint starts hurting, I should stop eating.
that the scale will continue moving in the right direction, as long as I don't give up.

kutia

kutia

 

I'm home from surgery

I'm home. I'm still tired from the anasthesia so excuse my spelling. I nap for 55 minutes in a recliner and walk for 5. I have some pain but not too bad. Shoulder & back.   I'm going to go take another nap now. I'm doing okay, thanks for all the good thoughts. More later.

kutia

kutia

 

I'M HALFWAY!!!

I just had to share:     As of this morning, I am halfway to my goal weight. OH HAPPY DAY!!!! :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :faint: :P :scared: :D :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :) ;) :scared: :D :P :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :D ;) :nervous :nervous :D :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

kutia

kutia

 

I'm Baaaaack!!

Okay, it has been a really long time since I was on this site. I have been super lazy lately. Basically, my loss has completely stalled because I haven't been exercising. I still have 30 lbs. to go. I am determined to lose that before my 2 year anniversary. The trouble is my old food demons are coming back to visit. I'm tired and stressed and worried about the future and all of that makes me go in the pantry and eat. :thumbdown:   I'm hoping that by coming back to my blog (last time I was here it was a journal) regularly will help focus me again.

kutia

kutia

 

I lost my bet.

Yeah, that's right. Still not in One-derland. And now no reading for a week. :think I'm very sad. :think :think :think This is my punishment. I deserve it for being such a slacker. I'm not very happy with myself right now.

kutia

kutia

 

grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSH-DARNED, ADDLE-PATED, TWIT-HEADS AT THE BORDER TO ONE-DERLAND STILL WON'T LET ME IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kutia

kutia

 

Granny, Gym & Going shopping

Granny is gone. It was nice having her here. One of the first things she said to me was "you've lost weight." I'm glad she noticed and didnt' drive me crazy offering her patented "helpful" advice. I didn't tell her about my surgery or mention exactly how much weight I've lost. I don't like telling people that anyway. It always bugs me when people ask how much weight someone has lost. I don't know why, that just irks me.   I didn't lose any more this week. I didn't gain any either so it's all good. I'm actually very proud of myself for not gaining. Considering all the holiday food and the gym being closed: just maintaining was awesome. The gym reopens soon so I'll be able to continue going. Although not as much as I would like. My job offered me extra hours for the next month, so of course I took them. Gotta pay for that Master's degree somehow. The extra hours mean that I'll only be able to go to the gym twice a week. Maybe I can do a double workout those days.   I'm hoping to be able to go clothes shopping sometime this next week too. (I can't believe I just said that!) I really need some new jeans and some new exercise clothes.   I didn't make my Jan. 1 goal. Yes, I know it isn't quite Jan. 1 yet. But I'm pretty darn sure that I'm not going to lose 11 lbs. in the next 2 day. That's ok. I'm almost there. I should definitely make it to One-derland by the end of January. See ya there!   HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL!!  

kutia

kutia

 

Goals NOT resolutions!

My goal for this year:   1. Make it to my goal weight before I turn 30 (which happens in Dec.). 2. Ride my bike to work (12 miles.)   For this month, 1. Lose the 10 lbs. that separate me from One-derland. 2. Workout 3x a week     I just went clothes shopping. I only bought three pairs of pants: Jeans, excercise sweats and work pants. I've gone down two sizes in the jeans from a 22 to an 18. The other two pairs are actually a 14/16 and a large. They're just pull-on types, slightly too tight. I bought them that way on purpose so I could have the fun of seeing them loosen up. For the first time in my many efforts to lose weight, I really believe that they will loosen up. That right there is a major victory.  

kutia

kutia

 

de-frustrated

Well, okay. I'm way less frustrated now. (Notice the calm green font color?) Yesterday was my weigh-in/measurement day at Curves. According to them, I weigh 210. I know what you're saying... that's what had me all tweaked out before. True, BUT that was fully dressed and wearing shoes. When I got home I took a little sneak peek on my own scale, it says.....205. I think I just needed (and still do need) to work harder at the gym and make sure that my heartrate is where it needs to be. I've also got measurements from Curves, so here they are.   Purple is last month :clap2: Blue is current :clap2: Red is shrinkage:clap2:   Bust ~ ........48 in.......................46.5 .......................-1.5 Waist~ .......45 in. .....................43.5 ........................-1.5 Abdomen~ 49 in. .....................47.5.........................-1.5 Hips~ .........47.5 in. ..................47 ............................ -.5 Thighs~ .....52 in. .....................52 ........................... -0 Arms~ .......30 in.......................30 ............................-0 Body Fat~ .41 % ......................39.9 ....................... -1.10%   So you see, the life lesson here is: "Don't get frustrated, get measured!" Thanks, Teresita for pointing that out.

kutia

kutia

 

Curves weigh-in

Well I have some restriction. Not a whole lot, but it is a start. I want to wait until I'm completely stalled before I schedule another fill. It seems like the only time I manage to lose weight is the week I'm on liquids after a fill. Although I must admit, that I only stayed on liquids for about three days. I had my measuring day at Curves a few days ago. I'd lost 20 lbs. since I joined and they were all asking me what was my secret. So I pulled up my shirt and showed 'em my scars. Then I erased my name off the "Brag Board" 'cuz I'd really rather people didn't keep bringing it up. It makes me feel very awkward. I've never been good at accepting compliments & praise. I'm really very self-deprecating. Most of the time.   Here are my stats from the Curves measuring day: Bust 49 in. -3 in. Waist 47in. -4 in. Abdomen 52 in. -3 in. Hips 50 in. -3 in. Thighs 28 in. -2 in. Arms 16.5 in. -2 in. Body fat 42.6% -1.9% (for stats from my 1st. Curves measuring day, see entry #24)  

kutia

kutia

 

Curves report

Hey y'all, I've been delaying my weekly journal entry so I could have my monthly Curves report in it. I finally got the time (and energy) to go over there today. I didn't work out hard though, my back is just miserable today. I've just noticed that I didn't post my Curves report from last month. Oh well, I'm not going to go back and do it now. ................................Last month.............................Now Bust........................44 in........................................43 in. Waist.......................41 in. .....................................41 in. Abdomen...............47 in. .....................................45.5 in. Hips........................44 in. .....................................43 in. Thighs....................51 in. ....................................49 in. Arms......................29 in. ......................................29 in. Body fat %.............38%........................................37.40% My arms just will not get any smaller!

kutia

kutia

 

Challenge Update.

I've gotten tired of typing all my entries in the same font and color. I decided it looks boring. Anyway, on to the challenge update.   For those of you just joining my journal, I have challenged myself to get below 200 (199 to be specific) by New Year's Day. I started this when I had 36 pounds to go and 3 months to lose them. I'm doing pretty good. Even if I am a sloth who hasn't been to the gym in weeks. Somebody needs to kick my ass! Do they have an ass-kicking icon? Doesn't look like it, this icon will do though. :whip: This is what I need, someone standing behind me with a whip to make me go to the gym. At least until I get back in the routine. Any volunteers? So here's my challenge ticker:

kutia

kutia

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