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kutia's Journal

A blog by kutia

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I'm Baaaaack!!

Okay, it has been a really long time since I was on this site. I have been super lazy lately. Basically, my loss has completely stalled because I haven't been exercising. I still have 30 lbs. to go. I am determined to lose that before my 2 year anniversary. The trouble is my old food demons are coming back to visit. I'm tired and stressed and worried about the future and all of that makes me go in the pantry and eat. :thumbdown: I'm hoping that by coming back to my blog (last time I was here it was a journal) regularly will help focus me again.

May 23, 2008

1

no more free fills

Okay, I got my last free fill yesterday. Dr. Jay gives free fills for a year after surgery. My year is up on August 4. I doubt I'll need another fill before then. I'm on liquids until Wednesday. I got another CC put in. My total fill level is now 11cc. I hope it works for a long time, since now I'll have to start paying $150 for each fill. I'm going to take a road trip to visit my grandmother soon. I'm taking my bicycle with me. She lives out in the boonies, so there isn't much else to do.

July 20, 2007

1

10 month pics.

I've got some 10 months pictures to share. Of course my 10 month anniversary was almost a month ago. (Can you really say anniversary if it hasn't been a year yet? Ahh, etymological puzzles, how I love them. And yes, I am a geek, why do you ask?) Okay. In the pics. I am wearing size 14 jeans and a 1x t-shirt. Sorry the pic is kind of blurry. I don't know what was going on with my photographer. She's usually pretty good. Oh well, no big deal. Just as long as my 1 year anniversary (which is a real anniversary, but I digress) pictures turn out in focus. I've also got a Century Club card. You get the card for losing 100 lbs. I got it from someone on another website (www.obesityhelp.com) I suppose really you could get one no matter how much you've actually lost. Its not a real club, it is just a cool graphic. Okay, gotta go. I've got a book report due today that I haven't finished. The report, not the book. I read the book already. Just want to make that perfectly clear.

July 1, 2007

1

Milestone

Hi Its been awhile. I've been lazy both in updating this journal and exercising. I just haven't felt like doing either. Work and grad school are taking up just about all of my time. When I'm not doing grad work, I'm thinking about doing grad work. I don't have much brain capacity left.

July 1, 2007

1

Long time, no journal

I hadn't realized that it had been so long since I've updated my journal. Well, there really hasn't been all that much going on. I just got another fill two days ago. I think this was my 6th. and I forgot to ask Dr. Jay what level I'm at. Oh, well. I'll try to remember to ask next time. I'm sneaking up on 100 lbs. lost. Since I have to be on liquids for the next 4 days, I may make it. That is if I can keep myself from cheating too much. I've pretty much stopped going to Curves. Maybe I'll pop in there from time to time if I'm bored, but not regularly. As soon as my contract is up, I'm not renewing. Its a nice starter gym, but I think I'm ready for something else. Maybe after I'm no longer paying Curves monthly, I'll look into getting a treadmill or an ellipitcal. I do an elliptical at the rec. center near my work (its free). I like it. That's all the news I have.

May 19, 2007

4

Curves report

Hey y'all, I've been delaying my weekly journal entry so I could have my monthly Curves report in it. I finally got the time (and energy) to go over there today. I didn't work out hard though, my back is just miserable today. I've just noticed that I didn't post my Curves report from last month. Oh well, I'm not going to go back and do it now. ................................Last month.............................Now Bust........................44 in........................................43 in. Waist.......................41 in. .....................................41 in. Abdomen...............47 in. .....................................45.5 in. Hips........................44 in. .....................................43 in. Thighs....................51 in. ....................................49 in. Arms......................29 in. ......................................29 in. Body fat %.............38%........................................37.40% My arms just will not get any smaller!

April 17, 2007

1

New Pics!!

Well it was my 8 months anniversary a few days ago. So I had my mom take some 8 months pics. Let's see now: the jeans are size 18 petite, the top is an XL. Just btw, this top has been hanging in my closet for over 4 years. I'm including my 6 month photo for comparison. The blue top is 6 months, the khaki top is current.

April 6, 2007

1

babble-mania

Nothing new, or even remotely interesting to report. I've been procrastinating so hard on my grad. school assignment that I haven't had time to even attempt anything else. No bike rides, 'cuz Texas has apparently decided that it is time to rain. Which is good, we need rain, but then again, we always do. (I don't think I've ever used so many commas in one sentence in my entire life. It wasn't even a very long sentence. I hope my professor isn't on this board. ) Oh hey, I just thought of something new. I bought a toaster oven. It's cute, I got a bright red one, so that it will match the kitchen. Better than buying a blue one so it would match the bathroom. Because really, if you think about it, a toaster oven in the bathroom just isn't a good idea. For multiple reasons. Where would I plug in my hair dryer? Okay, I'm going to stop now. I'm just babbling at this point, and no one deserves that kind of punishment.

March 27, 2007

1

Bike & cookies

So, I'm going to try again this week to take my bike to the park. Everybody keep your fingers crossed for me. I've had a good week, exercise-wise. I went to the Rec. Center near my work 4 times. Three of those times I had also gone to Curves. The last time I went to the Rec. (Thurs.) I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and 20 minutes on the treadmill. I actually wished I could've done more. Can't believe I just said that! I also just found out that because I am technically a city employee, I get a free one year membership to the Rec. That is awesome since otherwise it would cost $150. I was kind of upset when I got home from work today. Last night I baked a batch of chocolate-chip cookies. This is something I hardly ever do. Usually when I bake cookies, I bake oatmeal, because that is the kind my mom likes. I don't like oatmeal cookies, so I don't eat any. And since I'm the only person in my family who will actually take the time to bake cookies, I almost never get to have any cookies. So I was all happy that I would get to enjoy some choc-chip cookies for a few days. You know, I wasn't planning on eating the whole batch in a day or anything like that. Just a little treat for myself, my mom and my dad. However I get home and I look around for the cookies. Didn't see them. I ask mom "do you put away the cookies?" Nope she didn't move them. I ask dad "hey dad, where's the cookies?" HE THREW THEM AWAY!! All of them. I was so upset I actually teared up. Those were my special treat, extremely rare event, just-because-I-deserve-them cookies. And he threw them away. :think Just hope he knows not to ask me to bake him his special pecan-raisin cake anytime soon. I'll let him have one piece and then I'll give it to the dogs. HAH!:heh: Anyway, here is my ticker:

March 18, 2007

1

Best laid plans...

often go awry. It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood today. So I have this brilliant plan. I'll attach the bike carrier to my car, attach the bike to the carrier and head for this park with nice bike trails that I heard about recently. Well the first part of the plan went well. Okay, it didn't go well. But it did get accomplished. I got the carrier attached to my car. It only took 15 minutes. Supposed to take 5, but whatever. I figured it out, with only minimal forehead slapping. Ahh, but then we come to the next part of the plan. Putting the bike in the carrier. That part never happened. And now I think I have head trauma, I smacked myself in the forehead so much. I tried to position it everway I could think of. I even tried upside down! I knew it could go, because that's how I got the darned thing home from the store. Anyway, to make a long (and kinda boring, if you're not me) story a little bit shorter, I went to the bike shop and asked the guy to show me how to put the bike in. Using a different bike obviously, since mine was still at the house. Apparently the guy who put the bike in the carrier when I bought it, didn't put it in right. Or something, I don't know. So the other guy at the store said I needed an adapter. So I bought one and went home (with a quick stop at the office supply store, because I am a geek and love that place.) But by the time I got home, it felt too late to go to the park. The window of opportunity had closed (for me anyway.) Maybe I'll try again next week.

March 12, 2007

1

I'M IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:welcomeB: :bounce: :first: :first: :wow2: :wow2::cocktail: :humble: :humble: :humble: :humble: :humble: :thumb: :thumb: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :D I GOT INTO ONE-DERLAND!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY, I MADE IT!!!!!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!!! :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :P :peace: :peace: :peace: :whoo: :whoo: :whoo: :whoo: :whoo: :Banane10: :rofl: :rofl: :huggie: :rofl::scales: :rofl: Thanks to my band, I've learned... that blueberry NutriGrain bars are really good. They make a great breakfast & defend against fast food if they live in my purse.
to never go shopping with my mother. I wind up spending too much money.
that when my left shoulder joint starts hurting, I should stop eating.
that the scale will continue moving in the right direction, as long as I don't give up.

March 2, 2007

3

I lost my bet.

Yeah, that's right. Still not in One-derland. And now no reading for a week. :think I'm very sad. :think :think :think This is my punishment. I deserve it for being such a slacker. I'm not very happy with myself right now.

February 25, 2007

1

private

Okay, it is time for a private rant. The lady at Curves (I can't remember her name to save my life. I'm sure we were introduced at one time, but whatever...) she is driving me crazy. Everytime I go in there, she goes on and on about my weight loss. EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!!! I am more than just my weight!! I hate the measuring days. Not just because of the scale, but because she's usually the only one there to do it. Then she gets all giddy "oh girl you've lost so much. blah-blah inches off your blah-blah, blah-blah pounds." And apparently that isn't enough for her. Oh NO!! She's got to annouce it to the entire freaking club. Even when it isnt' measuring day, she'll ask me how much i've lost since the last measuring day, or how much altogether since joining or since surgery. How many pounds, how many inches, gone down any clothes sizes? I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!! I never answer her, but she doesn't seem able to take a hint. Why can't she ask about anything else??? I'd almost rather discuss religion!!!! I'd really just like to smack her in the head with a hand weight. Maybe then she'd quit it. If I object to her GUSHING, she says "oh you should be proud." Well I am, but I'm proud of myself. I don't need everyone else in the entire free world to know about it. I don't want them (anyone) to make a big deal out of it. I'd much rather be ignored. It makes me uncomfortable. I've thought of just going to a different Curves. Just to get away from her. I know she's being nice (or thinks she is) but I need it to stop!!!!!!!!

February 21, 2007

1

ok, better now.

Okay, y'all sorry about that. Just had to get that little rant out of my system. Of course, I realize that all the border guards are me. It's all my fault that I'm not there yet. I choose to believe that I'm gaining muscle. (Mom calls that kind of thing "magical thinking." I say, "who couldn't use a little magic in their life?") I guess I'll just have to go under the fence. Or is it over? Does it really matter? Either way, I'm going. Even if I have to put myself on liquids for a day or two. I don't care, I'm going to be under 200 by this time next week. If I'm not, I won't read a book for a week!!!! (This is major y'all, cause I'd almost rather read than breathe. Although the less I breathe, the harder it gets to read.:mad: ) Well I thought I was done ranting. Guess there was a little bit of rant left over. Sorry. :rolleyes Anyway, we now rejoin our regularly scheduled journal entry, already in progress...... So I got weighed & measured at Curves again. It seems like the 14th. comes sooner and sooner every month. Here they are: ........................Last Month......................current Bust..................46.50 in...........................46 in. Waist...............43.50 in. .........................42 in. Abdomen.........47.50 in. .........................47.25 in. Hips.................47 in. ...............................45 in. Thighs..............52 in. ...............................52 in. Arms................30 in. ................................29 in. Body Fat ........39.9% ..............................38.3%

February 17, 2007

2

grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSH-DARNED, ADDLE-PATED, TWIT-HEADS AT THE BORDER TO ONE-DERLAND STILL WON'T LET ME IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

February 17, 2007

1

not yet!

Some of you may be wondering what happened to last week's entry. That's easy, I didn't write one. I didn't want to have to journal again with a ticker that is still above 200. Oh well, I've gotten over that. I really missed my journal. Of course there are probably people out there really glad that I had stopped babbling. Tough cookies.:heh: I'm still not in One-derland. I am however on the border, there just seems to be some kind of trouble with my passport. I'm sure it'll all be straightened out soon. The last fill I got has really given me some good restriction. Now I've just got to get over that guilt at leaving food on my plate. It just seems so wasteful. There is a Rec. center (gym) next door to my work. On Monday, I am going to pop in there for at least a 1/2 hour to use their treadmill. I am a member at Curves and I go 3x a week. But because of my work hours and Curves' open hours, I can only go Tues., Weds. & Thurs. That leaves Friday, Saturday, Sunday & Monday basically exercise free. Not really a good thing. I just gotta remember to take my ipod and workout clothes to work on Monday. i am committed to making goal by by birthday!

February 11, 2007

2

6 month Anniversary

Hey y'all :confused: I'm posting pics taken on my 6 month anniversary. I've lost about 80 lbs. since I began my pre-surgery diet. My jeans are now size 18 petite. The shirt is not the same as in previous pics. It is a size 2x. I know it looks similar. What can I say - I'm partial to blue. The dog in the foreground is named Baylor, ain't he cute?

February 4, 2007

2

Another fill

I went in for another fill today. I've lost count of how many fills I've had so far. Dr. Jay seemed pleased with my loss. He actually used the word "awesome." He gave me another .75 cc. So now my total fill is 9.75 cc. As usual, I'm on liquids for the next week. Also as usual, I'm not real happy about that:phanvan , but I know it'll finally get me to One-derland. I can't wait! I don't remember the last time I weighed less than 200 lbs.! I've been stepping on the scale every day (sometimes several times) since I went below 210. The suspense is killing me!:speechles

February 1, 2007

2

3rd. mini-goal met!

-75 lbs. This means that I've acheived my third mini-goal. The reward for that is buying my second Van Gogh painting (reproduction.) Of course, I never bought the first one, so I can't really buy the second. But still, I earned those paintings. I go to the website (www.vangoghmuseum.nl) sometimes and just admire them. I can't justify the expense right now. Someday though. "Almond blossoms" and "Irises"; go check them out, they're so pretty. I'm going in for another fill this Wednesday. Just a teeny one. Only 5 pounds away from One-derland, I think I'm going to lose my mind!

January 28, 2007

1

moving slow

Okay, so I know it says 205 on the day I got de-frustrated. But I guess that was really just a fluke. It wasn't "official" either, since it wasn't a Friday. I do have an Offficial weight now, and it is less than 210 so I'm a happy camper. Well, content anyway. For now. I started grad. school this past week. So far its pretty awesome (and yes, I know I'm too old to use that word.) The degree program is almost completely online and it is completely legit. I finally broke down and scheduled another fill. I wanted to wait until I could lose weight even between fills. I am now, although slowly. That's okay, that is what the band is for, to give me a little boost when I need one. I just don't want to rely completely on fills. (Reading back over this post, I think I used way too many commas. And parentheses.)

January 21, 2007

1

de-frustrated

Well, okay. I'm way less frustrated now. (Notice the calm green font color?) Yesterday was my weigh-in/measurement day at Curves. According to them, I weigh 210. I know what you're saying... that's what had me all tweaked out before. True, BUT that was fully dressed and wearing shoes. When I got home I took a little sneak peek on my own scale, it says.....205. I think I just needed (and still do need) to work harder at the gym and make sure that my heartrate is where it needs to be. I've also got measurements from Curves, so here they are. Purple is last month :clap2: Blue is current :clap2: Red is shrinkage:clap2: Bust ~ ........48 in.......................46.5 .......................-1.5 Waist~ .......45 in. .....................43.5 ........................-1.5 Abdomen~ 49 in. .....................47.5.........................-1.5 Hips~ .........47.5 in. ..................47 ............................ -.5 Thighs~ .....52 in. .....................52 ........................... -0 Arms~ .......30 in.......................30 ............................-0 Body Fat~ .41 % ......................39.9 ....................... -1.10% So you see, the life lesson here is: "Don't get frustrated, get measured!" Thanks, Teresita for pointing that out.

January 17, 2007

2

MOVE, DARN IT!!!

AAARRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pray2: :) :) :) :) :) :) I'm seriously at my wit's end here folks. If you'll scroll back through this journal you'll see why. I have been stuck at 210 for over a month now. I've got decent restriction, I go to they gym. AND YET! The scale has refused to budge. Yesterday, I put myself on liquids and I went to the gym and pushed myself as hard as I could. I checked the scale tonight and it maybe went down 1/2 a pound. Its driving me crazy. I don't want to go get another fill just yet. Even though that seems to be the only time that I actually lose weight. That just isn't good enough. I need to make the weight go away, even between fills. Until I can figure out how to do that, I'm not getting another fill. Unless of course the scale goes in the wrong direction. I'm so close to One-derland that I can practically hear it. I can hear all the people who've already gotten there. And they're mocking me. Nyah-nyah-nyah!!!!! I'M JUST SO FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

January 13, 2007

2

Goals NOT resolutions!

My goal for this year: 1. Make it to my goal weight before I turn 30 (which happens in Dec.). 2. Ride my bike to work (12 miles.) For this month, 1. Lose the 10 lbs. that separate me from One-derland. 2. Workout 3x a week I just went clothes shopping. I only bought three pairs of pants: Jeans, excercise sweats and work pants. I've gone down two sizes in the jeans from a 22 to an 18. The other two pairs are actually a 14/16 and a large. They're just pull-on types, slightly too tight. I bought them that way on purpose so I could have the fun of seeing them loosen up. For the first time in my many efforts to lose weight, I really believe that they will loosen up. That right there is a major victory.

January 4, 2007

2

Granny, Gym & Going shopping

Granny is gone. It was nice having her here. One of the first things she said to me was "you've lost weight." I'm glad she noticed and didnt' drive me crazy offering her patented "helpful" advice. I didn't tell her about my surgery or mention exactly how much weight I've lost. I don't like telling people that anyway. It always bugs me when people ask how much weight someone has lost. I don't know why, that just irks me. I didn't lose any more this week. I didn't gain any either so it's all good. I'm actually very proud of myself for not gaining. Considering all the holiday food and the gym being closed: just maintaining was awesome. The gym reopens soon so I'll be able to continue going. Although not as much as I would like. My job offered me extra hours for the next month, so of course I took them. Gotta pay for that Master's degree somehow. The extra hours mean that I'll only be able to go to the gym twice a week. Maybe I can do a double workout those days. I'm hoping to be able to go clothes shopping sometime this next week too. (I can't believe I just said that!) I really need some new jeans and some new exercise clothes. I didn't make my Jan. 1 goal. Yes, I know it isn't quite Jan. 1 yet. But I'm pretty darn sure that I'm not going to lose 11 lbs. in the next 2 day. That's ok. I'm almost there. I should definitely make it to One-derland by the end of January. See ya there! HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL!!

December 31, 2006

1

Over the river

and through the roads....to granddaughter's house she comes. Well, it is practically Xmas and Granny is on her way. I wonder if she'll notice how much smaller I am compared to the last time she saw me. I hope so. I'm going to go clothes shopping after Xmas. I need at least a new pair of jeans and a new pair of workout pants. I'm planning on getting them slightly tight so that I can watch them get baggy. How twisted is that? Hi, Ho, Hi, Ho, Its off to work I go.

December 23, 2006

2

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