I've been told all my life that I have a pretty face. Up until now, I've been content with just having a pretty face. Now I ask myself, what is a pretty face with the confidence to go and do all the things life has to offer. I second guess even the smallest party or event. I am consistently starting and stopping the diet process. I eat for so many reasons now that it is just unbelievable. I ask myself, how did I let it get this far? I visualize every event. From the seats on the airplane to the rides at the amusement park and everything in between. I worry that this is going to take over my life, no it has taken over. I use to be a lot of fun now I'm more of a hobbit. I stay home and I cook and clean for my husband and I even go to school online for fear that I will no longer be able to put my big hips behind a desk. I hate this fear of embarrassment, but it has started to control every aspect of my life. My mother is completely for the surgery, but my husband isn't as understanding. My mother has watched me struggle with my weight for what seems like forever. Whereas my husband thinks that because he can diet and exercise and loose weight, so can I. I wish I could make him understand that I am tired of fighting a loosing battle. I need something more than just a diet and exercise plan. My biggest downfall is that when I am what I call hungry, I am going to eat. I need something to control my neverending appetite. I believe lap band is just what I need. My weight has gotten far enough out of hand and I refuse to let it continue to control my life. Where do I go from here?
(excuse my rambling on, but it really made me feel so much better!):cursing:
