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Hit the fast forward button!

I'm so inspired by the posts I see on this site. I especially love reading about people who are six, nine, or 12 months post-op. They give me reason to hope. I know I shouldn't weigh myself every day but I'm compelled to do so. It makes me so frustrated sometimes, and makes my day other times. I'm only 2 weeks 2 days post op but I haven't seen that scale move in the right direction in a week now. Yesterday, I ate a total of 750 calories, 60 grams of protein, and walked off 300 of those calories on the treadmill. What's my reward? I gained a half a pound. How is that physically possible?   I know that I just need to stay the course and the weight will come off, I just want to fast forward to a year from now to see if that is actually true. Sometimes it feels like I'm destined to be fat and there's nothing I can do to change it.   Kimberly
kcweir

kcweir

6
 

Ok, now I'm getting frustrated.

I'm sick to death of this liquid diet. I feel weak and tired and I want it to stop! I get hungry, but not crazy hungry so that's a plus. I can't wait until my Monday nutritian class, hopefully I can start on mushies then.   The thing that's frustrating me is that my weight has barely changed in three days. I can't understand how I can drink slimfast three times a day and not see a difference on the scale every morning. Meanwhile, my "weigh less than hubby" goal got stolen away when he didn't eat much for the past two days and dropped FIVE POUNDS. How wrong is that?!   I've been looking through success stories on this site and trying to picture the long term benefits, not just this last few days. I'm still frustrated, and just overall feeling yucky. :thumbup:  
kcweir

kcweir

6
 

I made it to onederland!

199.2 this morning! Yay me! I really didn't think that I would ever get there. I chose the band partly because I didn't want the weight loss to be too fast, or obvious, to other people. I guess I got what I wanted. Love my band!  
kcweir

kcweir

5
 

Someone Noticed!

I had a great weekend in Las Vegas with my mother, sister, and all four of our kids. The first happy thing happened when Mom walked in to my hotel room and said, “You’ve lost a lot of weight!” Funny thing is, she saw me last week but she said that I was wearing more fitted clothes and now she could really tell. My Lap-Band®® is a secret, so I said I was eating more protein, less carbs, and walking on the treadmill. Not a lie, but I still feel guilt about it, especially when talking to my sister who shares my weight problems.   The next day I put on my new size 14 jeans and we headed out to the Hoover Dam to take a tour. I was on the escalader in front of Mom and Sister, and they commented that my butt was so much smaller! This is the best I’ve felt about my body in a very long time.   We met up with some old friends for dinner, and I wasn’t embarrassed to see them. Usually I would dread seeing old friends because I just knew they were thinking, “Wow, she got so fat!” They didn’t notice the weight loss because they hadn’t seen me at my highest; they had only seen our yearly Christmas photos which are strategically cropped every year.   After our dinner, Mom watched the kids while my sister and I went downstairs to the casino for drinks and gambling. I won about $250 and we headed home the next day. Truly the highlight of the trip was hearing the compliments after so long.   Yesterday I had the day off from work but braved a bad rainstorm to go to my 4 month post op appointment. Dr. Oliak charted my progress on a graph and it made me feel so much better about how I was struggling for the first three months. I’ve lost a total of 33 pounds now, and most people I read about of LBT have done much better than that. I was below the average curve for the first three months, but my last fill made the weight loss jump way over that line. We decided against another fill right now, and I’m going to go back to see him at my six month post op in March.   Next goal, get to Onederland!  
kcweir

kcweir

5
 

11 Week Post-Op Update

My weight is very slowly falling, I’m down to 215 now from my highest of 241. Not too shabby, but I think I expected to be below the 200 line by now so I can’t help but be a little disappointed. I definitely have restriction and still accidently don’t chew enough so I’ve had a few sliming and pbing incidents since my last fill two weeks ago. The problem is that I don’t stay full for 4-5 hours after eating one cup of food. I’d say I’m still at about 3-3.5 hours before I’m hungry and by 4.5-5 hours I’m STARVING. Next fill appt is December 15th, hopefully that will do the trick.   On the exercise front, I completed my first 5k this weekend. It was so fun, and really great to have DH and the kids cheering me on at the finish line. My goal was to complete it in under 50 minutes, and I was shocked to see that I got it done in 42:52. Woo hoo! Next race is January 23rd and I’m working on getting that one done in under 40 minutes. Wish me luck!   I have to say, I feel like I’ve come a long way since deciding to have surgery, so it was shocking for me to see the pictures my husband took of me during the race. I can’t believe how fat I am! I long for the day when I see a picture of myself and I feel like I look good. I don’t know if that’s ever happened for me, except maybe my wedding pictures. I starved my way down to 145 pounds for that day, and was 153 when I got back from our honeymoon, and I guess I never looked back.   Kimberly   Surgery Date 9/23/09  
kcweir

kcweir

4
 

Surgery Day Story

Yesterday’s surgery went very well. I can’t say enough about Dr. Oliak, his PA Ally and the staff at Chapman Medcial Center. The whole thing really was a good experience, but didn’t go off without a hitch. As you may remember, this whole thing is a secret to everyone but DH, even the kids. My kids are only 5 and 7, so I didn’t think it would be too hard to keep them in the dark as long as I got home from the hospital before they came home from school. That didn’t happen so they ended up coming to pick me up with DH after 5pm. I told my son that I had a hernia repaired (not a lie), and that is was private and I didn’t want him talking about it to anyone. I think he’ll forget the whole thing in a couple of weeks.   Anyway, back to the actual surgery. I got there at 7 for a 9:30 surgery. I had the beginning of a cold since Monday but I didn’t have a fever so they didn’t even notice. They gave me a breathing treatment for my asthma and took me in right on time. I was surprised to wake up at noon in recovery. They took extra time to fix my hiatal hernia, which I was sure that I had going in because it caused me pain every now and then. They even gave DH before and after pictures. Trippy!   I willed myself to wake up quickly and was transferred to my room by 12:45. My nurse told me that DH left to get DD was school I knew that I wasn’t going to make my goal of getting out before school. My nurse was great, she herself had gastric bypass seven months ago and has lost 100 pounds so far! She didn’t think I looked like I needed surgery, probably because we weigh the same right now. Anyway, I had to walk, pee, drink from medicine cups, drink broth, drink shake, see the physical therapist and then go home. They really seemed like they wanted me to stay, and told me that I could stay for 23 hours as an out-patient. I just wanted out of there, besides, the whole family was downstairs waiting for me.   I faded in and out all the way home and went to bed when we got there. That’s when the gas pain set in. HOLY MOLY, that hurts! It still does actually. I regretted leaving the hospital because I could have been pressing that pain med button instead of suffering all night. I did find that laying on the shoulder with the pain sent the pain up to the other shoulder. While this transfer was happening, I was able to catch a few winks. I bet that I got up to go to the bathroom 15 times over night. My mouth was so dry I kept sucking on ice chips all night long. This morning I called in sick. I supposed to be there tomorrow and I’m organizing the company BBQ on Saturday but now I find myself with a 101 degree fever. I called the PA Ally and she wants me to come see them tomorrow if I’m not better. I don’t feel too bad, just tired and wishing that the gas pain would be gone for good.  
kcweir

kcweir

4
 

Pre-op Diet Failure

My doctor was not specific about the preop diet, he just told me to lose weight before the surgery. I was down 7 pounds and feeling great about it, but then the weekend came. Saturday we had a family BBQ during the day, and then my husband brought home ice cream sandwiches at night. I got back on the wagon in the morning and did pretty well, but then got so hungry by dinner that I ate a chicken nuggets meal from McDonalds! I'm dreading the scale in the morning! Now I've only got Monday and Tuesday to undo the damage, surgery is set for Wednesday. I can't wait to finally be free from incessant hunger.
kcweir

kcweir

3
 

I feel a cold coming on, two days before surgery!

I was up a good part of the night obsessing about this tickle feeling in my throat. I know what it is but I'm going to just ignore it and hope it goes away. I really don't want to reschedule this, my husband took the day off work to transport me, my work is all caught up, and I'm ready to go! Wish me luck.
kcweir

kcweir

3
 

My Evil Cold

I took Zicam all day yesterday like it was my religion. I still had some of the old nasal swabs from before they took it off the market. Love that stuff! I already feel better today, but my throat is a bit scratchy. I'll continue with the Zicam and get a good night's sleep, and I'm sure I will feel pretty good by tomorrow morning. One good thing about this cold, I haven't been hungry so it's been easy to stick to protein shakes.   This weekend my sister was over and saw all my protein shakes and diet food. I told her I was going on a diet again, so it won't be a big surprise when I start to drop some weight. What will be a big surprise is that it won't come back!   They still haven't called me to tell me what time to be at the hospital, but I was given a rough estimate of 9am. Less than 24 hours!
kcweir

kcweir

3
 

Slow and Steady

It's been just over a year now since I was banded. The last month or so I've been in serious need of a fill, and I just had it done on Monday. I'm enjoying the new restriction and finally watching the scale go down again after stalling for six weeks. I'm now down to 171 pounds! I've lost a total of 70 and have 30 more to go, hope to have that off in the next year.   I'm really enjoying shopping now for the first time in years. I'm getting rid of all my big clothes because I'm very confident that I won't be going back this time. I love this band!    
kcweir

kcweir

3
 

More realistic goal, and feeling some guilt

I spent the day Saturday with my sister, attending a baby shower and having dinner at my house. The conversation was almost exclusively about weight. I still haven't told a soul about the LAP-BAND®® except my husband, and I almost cracked under the guilt pressure I was feeling that day. I can say that I haven't lied at all about how I'm losing weight, but I am not telling about this one amazing tool that I had installed. I did tell my sister how much my weight had gotten up to (241) and she was amazed that I'd ever been that heavy. I have always heard that I carry my weight well, and I suppose that's true. I actually thought that my sister looked pretty heavy this weekend and she told me that she weighed 173 and had just lost 5 pounds on Medifast. I thought that at this point I look thinner than her but she's only a few inches shorter than me so this may be that my own perception of how I look at this point is not realistic. I never seem to think that I look as bad as I do until I'm confronted with a picture of myself.   Anyway, we talked about what my goal weight was going to be and she told me she thought I was quite thin on my wedding day 13 years ago. I remember that I had starved myself down to 145 for that day and I agree, I was very comfortable with how I looked that day. Of course I came back from the honeymoon at 153 and never looked back! Anyway, I think that the 140s is a more realistic and reasonable goal than my original 130, so I am changing it to 141.4 to make it an even 100 pounds that I want to lose. I love even numbers, I'm an accountant and something about them makes me happy.   When I told her that I wanted to lose that much weight in 2 years time, she said that was great, especially since I hadn't had gastric bypass or anything like that! Yikes. No reply from me, I just moved on to something else.   I feel so guilty for being less than honest, but I don't think that my sister would even qualify for the surgery if she wanted it at less than 180 pounds, so I don't think it would be a help to her even if she knew. Maybe that's just my selfish justification for keeping my secret. What does everyone else think?  
kcweir

kcweir

3
 

Second Shelf Pants and Other Developments

My relationship with my band has gotten much better since the second fill. It’s amazing how much less hungry I feel during the day. I struggle to get enough protein in, so I’ve been drinking an Isopure zero carb every morning before breakfast to give me a head start.   A few of the most recent developments for me:   I noticed yesterday that I can pull my jeans up and down without using the button or zipper. I have several pairs of size 16 jeans on my skinnier shelf in the closet, but they are all still too tight. Maybe in a week or two I’ll be able to wear them again.   I had some goal pants from that same second shelf that I wanted to wear next weekend to a family gathering. They look brand new, I’m not even sure when I bought them. They are Dockers size 16 and I’ve been in 16W and 18s for a long time. Well, today I’m wearing them to work!   I signed up for a 5k on December 6th. I’ve been walking on the treadmill but not with enough regularity, so I thought this would motivate me to get on and walk/run every day. Less than three weeks to go! I told DS about it and he said that was the craziest thing I’ve ever done. DD said she wanted me to win, I assured her there was no chance of that happening, so she was very disappointed in me. I told the kids that my goal was to not come in last and they need to cheer me on at the finish line. They seem pretty excited about it now.   I’m down to 217.8 today, solidly 5 pounds lighter than DH.   Kimberly   Surgery Date 9/23/09  
kcweir

kcweir

3
 

The Last Supper

I scheduled my surgery yesterday for 9/23/09. I'm very excited about it and hope to be one of those girls I see on this site who drops 100+ pounds and keeps it off. The key is really keeping it off, isn't it? I've lost lots of weight many times but have found that keeping it gone has been impossible for me. That's why I need this tool INSTALLED in me so I have no choice but to keep up the work.   I had to go to have my blood drawn this morning after fasting and was told I need to drop 10lbs before surgery (in 12 days!) I decided I was going out with a bang. I took my kids out to dinner and had my all time favorite meal at TGI Fridays. Jack Daniels burger with fries, a side salad, two beers and Oreo madness for dessert. I ate so much I didn't really feel hungry again until lunch time today. After the blood draw, I'm sticking to protein shakes until my surgery date.   This lap band procedure is a complete secret from everyone except DH. I'm not sure why I don't want anyone to know, it just seems like it's a private matter to me. I told my boss that I was going to have a D&C on that date because he knows I had to have that done about 18 months ago and didn't question that I was having the same problem again. I may be crazy but I'm hoping to go back to work the very next day. I have the most sedentary job in the world so I'm going to give it a try.   This morning I weighed 241.4. I plan on weighing myself every day, because I’m weird like that. My first goal is to weigh less than DH (225), then less than 200, then less than my driver’s license states (170), then less than my wedding day (145) and finally to my ultimate goal of 130. It seems almost impossible to me right now, but I’ve seen other blogs here from people who have done it, and I’m determined to join them!
kcweir

kcweir

3
 

Woo Hoo, First Goal Accomplished!

This morning I weighed 224.6 and DH weighed 226.4, I am officially lighter than my man! Of course, he did eat nearly an entire pizza by himself last night, but I'm still counting it. Maybe he did that to help me out with Goal #1, if so, what a sweetie.   Next goal is to be under 200 pounds. When I get there, I'm going to reward myself with a spa day. Manicure, pedicure, one hour massage. I can't wait!  
kcweir

kcweir

3
 

Nobody Noticed and My First PB Story

One side of my family has a Pre-Thanksgiving dinner every year the Saturday before Thanksgiving. I was really looking forward to it because I was able to fit comfortably in my second shelf pants (size 16) and was thinking I would get a little attention for it. Nobody noticed. Although I’m disappointed, I’m also a bit happy because maybe nobody noticed when I was barely squeezing in to my 18Ws. I think I became expert at hiding fat, this just shows me how good I was at it.   Another disturbing thing happened this weekend. I had my first PB. Mind you, this is the first time I’ve vomited since my honeymoon in 1997. Through two pregnancies, one prolonged labor, two c-sections, a couple of surgeries, and one very bad bought of stomach flu, I have kept it all down. 12 ½ years, not too shabby.   Here’s what happened: I was out shopping with my daughter when it got to be time for lunch. She asked for Bakers. If you don’t live in Southern California you don’t know the bliss that is Bakers. Fries better than McDonalds, with fabulous hamburgers or any delicious Mexican food, like tacos and burritos. We decide to eat inside and I ordered our meal while DD got us a booth. I ordered one taco, knowing that would be enough for me. DD got a burrito and fries. Apparently I completely forgot that I had the band. When I was getting DD’s food ready for her, I grabbed a few fried and popped them in my mouth. Next came the bite of taco, that’s when I knew I was in trouble. The pain was breathtaking. I’ve felt that pain before and it has always just gone away after a minute or so. This was not going away, and to make things worse my mouth was filling with horrible thick mucus. Obviously I couldn’t spit it out, so I just sat there trying to swallow it on top of my food. Desperate for relief, I grabbed DD’s Sprite and took a sip. Worst thing I could have done. A wave of nausea came over me and I fled to the bathroom. Lucky for me nobody was in there. Everything came up but the pain and mucus stayed for quite some time. I found myself spitting in the parking lot, in a very unladylike manner.   Dinner last night was pretty uncomfortable so I only had a few bites and gave up. Today I have a fill appt at 1:00, I’m not sure if I need one/should have one given the circumstances. Before my PB episode, I was really looking forward to the fill because I didn’t stay satisfied for more than 3 hours after a meal.
kcweir

kcweir

2
 

Ladies and Gentlemen...We Have Restriction!

Fill number two was yesterday. I got to see the surgeon instead of the PA this time. I just love my doctor! He spent a good amount of time with me listening to how disappointed I've been, and that I can hardly tell I have the band at all. He said that I didn't have a lot of abdominal fat (I've got it other places!) and that the band was loose on my stomach when he put it on, that's why there were 4ccs in the band on the day of surgery. He put in another 1.5ccs for a total of 6.5. Holy Moly, I can feel it now. I have hope again that this is really going to work for me.   We also talked about carbonation for a bit. I confessed to drinking two beers over the weekend on my trip to Santa Barbara. I see conflicting reports on carbonation ranging from being something that will stretch your pouch or cause the band to slip to being completely innocuous. Dr. Oliak said that the idea that it could stretch the pouch was "ridiculous" but that he's heard that many times before. He said most people don't like it because we can't burp normally with our bands and that means there is extra gas trapped in the body. Moderation is the key.
kcweir

kcweir

2
 

Feeling Human Again

Friday I left work at 10:30 with a 101 degree fever. I called the surgeon's office and they told me to see my GP. He said I have broncitis and prescribed some magical antibiotics and cough syrup so I don't hurt the new hardware that was installed. Now it's Sunday and I've feeling pretty much back to normal, but I still tire easily.   I still haven't really felt hungry yet, but I have had the urge to eat a couple of times. I'm scared of the band, so I didn't dare try anything. Next Monday I have an appt for a transition to mushy and normal foods at my surgeon's office. Today I weighed 226.6, down about 15 pounds from my all time high. Shouldn't be long before I reach my first goal...weigh less than my 6 foot 2 inch tall husband.
kcweir

kcweir

2
 

I turned 40 in style!

I couldn’t believe my scale this morning, 192.4! I’ve lost a total of 49 pounds so far, only one pound from half way there. My last fill really did the trick for me, I’m comfortable most of the time and even though I still can’t eat a whole cup of food at one sitting, I’m held over after eating for at least four hours. This must be the sweet spot everyone talks about.   I had a fabulous vacation with DH earlier this month to celebrate my 40th birthday. We flew to Cancun and stayed at a gorgeous hotel on the Rivera Maya called The Valentin Imperial Maya. I highly recommend it. I discovered a new favorite dish that is terrible for me but was so wonderful tasting called Lobster Thermidor. I’d never heard of it before but DH had. It was decadent and saucy and perfect. I ate it twice while we were on vacation. Even with that and the daily doses of yummy alcoholic beverages, I came home three pounds lighter. DH gained 8 pounds, but has already managed to take it back off in less than two weeks. Men!   I was able to do the physical excursion that I was so excited about on my birthday. I would not have even attempted this when I weighed 240 pounds. We hiked through the jungle, rode a zip line over a lagoon, hiked some more, repelled in to an underground cave filled with crystal clear water called a cenote to swim, hiked some more, climbed to the top of a Mayan Pyramid, hiked some more, and collapsed. Such a fun day! It was definitely the highlight of our trip. I didn’t like looking at the pictures they took of us during the excursion though. I was still by far the biggest woman on the trip, and my fat legs oozing out through the repelling harness was not a pretty sight. I’m not going to let that bother me because I did something so remarkable and I know that with the help of my band I will never be this weight again. It’s only going to get better from here!   Kimberly
kcweir

kcweir

2
 

Nutritian Class was Interesting

Monday I went to my “transition” class at the surgeon’s office to learn how to move from the liquid diet to mushy foods and beyond. There were only four other patients there with me, we were all banded on the same day. I was so excited to get away from drinking those shakes finally!   The PA went over what our typical meal should look like and had lots of great suggestions about how to prepare it or order it. She had fake rubber food in the right portion sizes so we had a good idea what a portion actually looked like. I expected the portions to look tiny, but they were actually not too bad.   She went over nutrition information on packaged foods and made some suggestions for healthy choices. She told us the most important thing to remember is getting the required amount of protein in every day, 60-80 grams. We were told that these next two weeks were not so much for losing weight but for getting back to eating real foods. After two weeks is over, we should be able to eat anything we want and then it will be time for our first fill. The hardest part of the class was when she passed out menus from various restaurants and we had to order something that was healthy from them. I got the Jonny Rocket’s Restaurant, which is a hamburger joint. I ordered a Chicken Caesar Salad with the dressing substituted with vinaigrette, on the side. A for me!   When I got home I tried several things for dinner. My husband had ordered pizza to eat while watching Monday Night Football and I was able to eat a sliver sized slice of it. IT WAS SO GOOD! I find that the band does not restrict my eating at all so far, but it does curb my appetite and definitely makes me satisfied earlier. Yesterday for lunch I had a Starkist Tuna Lunch to Go and wasn’t hungry for the next five hours.   My problem has always been snacking during the day while I’m at work. I am committed to not snack anymore and I know I can do it with the help of my band. I need to work on getting that protein in, so I’m going to go to GNC on my break today and get some protein water to try it out. If it tastes good and isn’t too expensive, I think that would be a great thing to incorporate in my new daily diet plan.   Kimberly
kcweir

kcweir

1
 

5 1/2 Months Post-op

I made it to a 40 pound loss finally. SOOOO close to onederland! I had my best fill ever on Tuesday and I hope this restrictions lasts for a while. I have 8.3ccs in my 10cc band now.   I've planned a vacation with my husband for my 40th birthday in April. My goal was to be under 190 when we leave, but I don't expect that to happen. If I can make it solidly in the 190s I'll be happy. Part of the trip is going to be climbing a Mayan pyramid and doing a zip line through the jungle! I need to hit that treadmill hard for the next three weeks so I'm up to the task.  
kcweir

kcweir

1
 

Yesterday's pre-op class

I took the whole day off from work yesterday mainly because I needed to attend the "office day" which was about three hours long. I was the first one there, given MANY forms including a thirty question true/false quiz about the lap band. The class had six people and the PAs went over the same information we were given at the seminar. After that, the doctor came in and rehashed the same stuff again. Honestly, I think I could give the classed myself at this point.   I can feel myself getting pretty anxious about all the things that could possibly go wrong. Blood clots, erosion, slippage, vomiting, YIKES!   After class we headed down to the waiting room where we were seen individually to go over our labs and ask any more questions of the surgeon. I told him that I'm getting nervous about all the possible bad outcomes and he really made me feel better. He's never had any patient who had band erosion and he told me how that typically happens and how he avoids it. He uses a different technique to place the port that doesn't involve stitching it to muscle so he hasn't had any port problems in the last two years. He did tell me he had one patient die from a blood clot after bypass surgery. It happened three weeks after surgery and he had refused to move around much since the operation. His wife told the doctor that she was concerned about him getting a clot because he just sat in front of the tv all day, and sure enough a week later it happened.   Dr. Oliak told me that I was a great candidate and he would be very surprised if I had any complications. I'm basically very healthy, just fat. He did tell me that I was pushing it to think I could go back to work the next day. I was able to get the second surgery of the day (9am), so that works out with DH getting me home and picking up the kids at school but I'll have to drive myself to the hospital at 7am. The next day we'll have to go back to pick up my car, so I've decided that I'm not going to try to go to work until Friday the 25th. The 26th is our annual company picnic, and that should be interesting. So...eight more days, but who's counting?!  
kcweir

kcweir

1
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