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Journey to a Healthy Me!

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Nervous

Three full days until I enter bandland! I am very excited but also finding myself extremely nervous. . . nervous enough to screw up the pre-op diet. :embarassed: The next three days I really have to buckle down and stay with the 3-4 shakes a day and salads with balsamic vinegar.   I have been battleing allergies the past week but I am feeling better today. :sick
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I have date!!

I have scheduled surgery for August 31st! :eek: I will be doing the sacred heart diet two weeks prior to surgery and then protein shakes one week prior to surgery. I need to get to 190 for surgery. Right now I am 201.   I have told my mom, Brittany and Becca about the surgery. They are all praying for me.   I will be walking on the treadmill everyday for 30 mins. and will try to chew my food to mush in order to get ready for my band life eating. I also will slowly wean myself off of Diet Coke and instead drink more water. :help:   My goal is to go from 190 (surgery weight) to 125.:clap2:
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What is with DH?

Okay, so I thought DH was on board with the LB surgery. I guess I was wrong! :confused: He is not worried about the cost, so he says. He does not like the idea of going to Mexico for the surgery. And, now he says that I really don't need it-- that a could lose 20-30 lbs. this year and 30-40 lbs. next year. He has known me since I was 13 years old and knows that I have lost weight before and have never been able to keep it off. I am 37 years old and if I continue to be obese or go up and down with my weight, it will affect my health and I am already seeing signs of it -- high blood pressure, joint aches and high cholesterol!   He doesn't understand my struggle because he has been thin his whole life and he comes from a thin family. :tired He did say that he is not totally against it. I really do want his support on this!   Onto my pre-band drinking/eating.:hungry: Today I am going to drink water 30 mins. before eating and take tiny bites and chew, chew, chew to practice for my band life. I did have a fiber drink this morning but I forgot to drink it S L O W L Y.:rolleyes oops! I am also going to have only 1 diet coke today and slowly wean off of it. I would like to be completely off of it the week before surgery.   As for exercise. :eek: I am going to try to get on my treadmill for 30 mins. today also.
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Learning to use my band as the tool it is intended to be!

Okay, it is October 29th and I have been banded for almost 8 weeks now. I have lost a total of 8 lbs. (13 pre-surgery). I had restriction from the surgery for about 2 weeks then it faded or completely diminished overnight! :omg: Then, I started to eat like I did prior to surgery! I did get a fill on the 16th of Oct. of 1.6 which is good but not my sweet spot. I continued to push my band to the limits with overeating. I could not eat bread because it would get stuck but I ate everything else. I was very discourged and finally reached out to a couple of people on the boards about a week ago. I received some great advice from a couple of really awesome gals, Bridget S. from OH and Sisteqh here on LBT. For some reason I felt that I should be able to eat what I want because I deserved it! What a crock! Who do I think I am? Well, Bridget responded to me about fighting her band and the day that she had a "lightbulb" moment; July 4th - her day of freedom!! She told me what I needed to hear. That advice started me on a new track. I was truly inspired!!! Since then, one week ago (10/22/06 - My personal day of freedom) I have lost 3 more lbs!!!   On another subject. I am somewhat bothered by others here on LBT that seem to think or show in their posts that those with lower BMIs really don't deserve to have the band. As if we have not fought against our weight like they have. It is a shame that people are that biased! All I can say is grow the heck up!!   Okay, I am going to set a mini goal for New Year's Day. Here is how I came up with it: My lowest weight that I acheived was 163 with Weight Watchers in 2003. I would love to beat that by one lb. So, my goal is to be at 162 by New Year's Day and to fit into my size 10 jeans. I can do it! I am going to up my exercise routine - 3 days treadmill 2 miles and 1 or 2 days hiking. For safety reasons, I do need to find a hiking partner!
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He's aboard!!

DH is feeling better about me having LB surgery. He took the time off of work and said that he wants to be there for me. So, surgery is paid in full and airline tickets were a bargain $49 each way to San Diego!! I had a voucher for $420 with Southwest Airlines and only used up half of it. I will save the rest of my voucher for when I have to get my first fill.   I have not started the pre-op diet yet but have been cutting back a little. I will start on the 25th and will have to keep myself very busy and away from the kitchen because I tend to migrate to food when I am at home.   On a real personal note, I have not wanted to go anywhere, except church, because I feel so embarrassed of my weight. When I was in my 20's early 30's I was overweight by 30-40 lbs. but people would say how beautiful I was. I hated it because I felt the pressure to keep up with that label. Why do I even care? God loves me. My husband loves me. And, my children love me any way I look!   I know that I am depressed because I would rather stay at home with no make up, hair not "done" and in comfortable (ugly) clothes than go out with my husband anywhere. Not that he is ashamed ... I am!   I would love to have a trendy, small sized wardrobe and be able to go in at any time and wear anything and know that it is going to look and fit great. No more wearing black all the time to make myself look slimmer! The ultimate would be to wear jeans and look great! I love jeans but have only worn them a couple times in the adult life.   I am going to name my band "Freedom". Not that it will give me the freedom to eat anything and everything but that it will give me the freedom from my volume eating addiction.   12 days until Freedom!
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