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The wait is killing me...

As I look at the website and see all the before and after pictures I sit here thinking...will that ever be me? Will I ever be able to have the 2nd chance at life that Im searching for?? Will I ever be of NORMAL size? Will I ever be able to shop at the stores where all my peers shop? Instead of the Catherines, Lane Bryant, and Avenues???   I am just waiting at this point, waiting for my psych eval, letters of medical necessities and lab work to be sent to my surgeon so that they can send them to the insurance company. :phanvan   Im debating on sending them pictures of me. Surely they will see how large I am, and they would approve me. There is no way I could ever even imagine coming up with the 15k they want for the surgery. My goodness. That is a lot of money. Plus, I would feel quite selfish even thinking about spending 15k on me....   Uggh, im getting a headache thinking about all of this...I think Im going to just read a few posts...and stop focusing on all this...its just going to stress me out...and get me depressed, will I ever get out of this world of "FAT"?   blah.
NurseWiggins

NurseWiggins

2
 

The TEST to see how bad I want this...

Hi all, Im a 27 year old female, happily married for almost 4 years to the best husband there is. We just had our first son in January--so he is almost 6 months old now. I have been interested in bariatric surgery for some time now, I have been overweight my entire life. Its to the point now where nothing seems to help me lose weight, and this is my last option. I am quite embarrassed to admit that I need surgery to have a chance at losing weight. Surgery is such a drastic move on my part. But its the only chance I have to see my grandkids, and great grand kids...Its the last resort. I am 5'10.5" and weigh 330#. When I met my husband I weight 272 and was almost even happy at that weight believe it or not. Then when I got pregnant at 290, then gained 60 pounds with him, Ive been miserable since. My back is the biggest problem. I have back pain all the time. i cant stand for long periods of time without it starting to KILL ME. I have hip and joint pain which makes being a nurse very difficult. Sooooooo. Im working on the approval process right now through my insurance company. Its in my hands right now, I am working on getting my "case" together for them...keep your fingers crossed! Ive heard it can be a rather bumpy ride!! I went to my surgeon back on June 6th, I received information about the Lap Band and what I had to do to get approval from insurance. I have Great West, and therefore I have to have 6 months of Dr. supervised diet, blah blah, everyone knows the routine. I have contacted my PCP and OBGYN to get letters of medical necessity from them. My PCP will be writing one this week, my OBGYN hasnt responded to my letter yet. Hmmmm, I wonder if he will. I really need more than one LMN since I dont have the 6month recorded diet.   I also went on the 26th to have my pulmonary function test--boy was that fun. hehehehe. The Dr. tried to get me to have a sleep study, because I have been known to snore in my sleep, am tired all the time, wake up sometimes with headaches, and have no sex drive. I responded by saying "I dont believe its sleep apnea--these seem to be the symtoms of being a mother of a 5 month old" HAHAHHAHA They always say that nurses make the worse patients. hehehe.   Oh! I had the 'ol PSYCH eval yesterday, the results...(drum roll please) IM NOT CRAZY!!! hehehe. You'd think I would be working in a Long Term Care facility for so long. :Banane20: She asked me stupid questions like "True or false, I have flown overseas 45 times in the past year" or "Ive had 20 toes for my entire life" I was like, what does this have to do with the Lap Band??? LOL, anyhow, she basically made sure I wasnt overly depressed, that I knew what I was getting into, and that I had lots of support.   I also wrote a letter to the Insurance company it was 5 pages long. Im not sure if it will hurt me or help me! I just wanted them to know how hard it is to be an obese child, an obese young adult, and obese mother and wife. I wanted to explain that I dont want the burden of my weight to impact my son at all. I dont want to be known as Garretts FAT MAMA. I want to be healthy so that I may live a long happy life. I want to be able to fit in the roller coasters, go to the movies, go to the beach, play ball, ride bikes, etc. I have to make some change.   My To Do List:   Dr Bilson--letter of medical necessity Dr James Smith--letter medical necessity Dr Randy Smith--letter medical necessity Dr Barina--letter medical necessity Dr Nolte--Psych Evaluation Dr Miars--pulmonary function test Letter from me to Great West Lab work including CBC, BMP, and TSH Current pictures and mesurements of me at 330#
NurseWiggins

NurseWiggins

1
 

So im getting Anxious...

Oh boy! :phanvan All of my information is in to my surgeon. I have 2 letters of medical necessity, psych eval, lab work, MRI (newly dx herniated disc), my letter to the insurance company along with pictures x3. My surgeon is now going to write a letter of medical necessity--THEN they will be sending it off to the insurance to either approve, or deny. ACK! Im so frickin nervous. The wait is TERRIBLE. I want to know there will be an end to this feeling I have had my entire life. I just want to feel good about myself again. I want to be able to look nice in clothes, and do everyday things many take for granted. I only hope, and pray Im approved. Until I get the word....
NurseWiggins

NurseWiggins

2
 

so a teeny tiny bit of good news...

:clap2: Ok, so I called the College Station Medical center, I went there back a few years ago to see a dietician. I forgot all about it!!! Though it was back in 2001. So I wonder if it was to long ago to be able to submit now...5 years later?!? I called and left a voicemail with the nurse who is handling my file, to see if it would be ok to submit...or if I needed to see yet another dietician. ??? Now I wait, AGAIN. I hate this waiting, its for the birds. lol.  
NurseWiggins

NurseWiggins

3
 

Now I wait...UGGGH

SOOOOO, today is the day. Jamie with Dr. Masons office said that they have sent out my paperwork to Great West. :eek: Dr Mason wrote my LMN yesterday to send with the package. Soooooo, now I WAIT! ACK!!! Jamie suggested giving GW at least one week, then call them to follow up. She will do the same. Im so frickin nervous. My goodness. What if I dont get approved? What if I have to appeal? What if's are going to kill me. ugggh. On another note, I went to the Pain Specialist today--Dr Gray. Who said basically that they wanted to try using steroid injections into my lower back--L4-L5 to help with the inflamation etc. He also gave me another muscle relaxer and a med to help with the nerves. My appointment isnt until August 5th! :phanvan SOOOO meanwhile I take it easy, and yada yada. So everyone keep me in your prayers...Approx a week is what Jamie generally gives GW. Though, I have seen where it can be within 24 hours. KEEP ME IN YOUR THOUGHTS!!! Thanks!!!
NurseWiggins

NurseWiggins

2
 

No Word Yet...

So I called Great West yesterday--It had been a week since my paperwork was sent off to them. No word yet, infact, they are just now getting my info into their system. GRRRR. Just my luck. So my package is in the hands of the medical review board, a nurse is currently reviewing everything. So here I am, waiting and waiting and waiting. GRRRR. this is so damn frustrating. I hate waiting for anything. Almost as bad as waiting for Christmas. LOL. ok....well, Ill update with any new news. :biggrin1:
NurseWiggins

NurseWiggins

2
 

Letter to Insurance company...

Dear Great-West Insurance:     This letter is to provide you, Great-West Healthcare, with a bit of insight on the life of someone who is morbidly obese. Here I am 27 years old and I currently weigh 329 pounds. THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-NINE pounds. It makes me want to cry just saying it. I’m supposed to be at my prime, these are supposed to be the best years of my life, and here I am struggling with each step I take, each breath I breathe. There has to be a change, and I am asking for your approval of Bariatric surgery, where the Lap Band would help me live the rest of my life to the fullest. So here I stand at 5’10” and weigh a whopping 329 pounds, that would put my BMI at 47.2! According to the National Institutes of Health I should weigh 170 pounds. I cant recall the last time I weighed 170. Infact, the lowest I can ever remember weighing is 185#. I remember it very clearly, I was in 7th grade, I was 12 years old. Id say the weight began pouring on me that summer. Since it seems I’ve nearly doubled that weight in just half of my life, I’d like to share with you in detail my struggle with being an obese child, obese teenager, obese young adult, and now, and a morbidly obese mother and wife. I was 11 years old, I went to visit my grandmother for a few weeks the summer before I began 7th grade. Me and a few kids were playing, and my grandmother after a little while brought ice cream sandwiches to all of the kids for a snack. Well, all the kids but me. She proceeded to call me “fat”, “you don’t need any ice cream”, “you should only eat fruit”. All of the kids there began laughing and pointing at me, and at that point, I began to feel not like the rest of kids, I felt I was “fat”. If my own grandmother would call me fat, what on earth does everyone else think of me?? That summer I began eating, and eating, and eating. It seems it just hasn’t stopped since. That fall I wanted to play sports, small schools let anyone be on the team, with a physical from the doctor saying you were healthy. I remember the doctor writing “overweight” on my physical exam. I was embarrassed to turn in the exam to my coach, with a weight of 185 and the word “overweight” in black and white, I was sure my peers would see this and I’d be labeled the “fat kid” all over again. My parents didn’t help matters at all. I went to my mom right about this time to help me diet, and get in shape. This only led to more issues with food, dieting and the yo-yo roller coaster ride that I’ve been on my entire life it seems. The first diet I ever remember being on is the Atkins diet. My mom would pack my lunches for me, to make sure that I ate only what I should. I also wasn’t given snack money like the rest of my peers, so that I wouldn’t be tempted to buy sodas, or chips at recess. Then at the end of each school day, my mom would break out the KETO Sticks, to see if I had cheated that day. If the stick turned purple, I was praised, and if it didn’t, Id get a long lecture about how overweight I was, and how the other kids make fun of me at school, etc. Which would always cause me to starting crying and sware Id get back on track. I lost a few pounds, give or take 10 or so…But the weight just came back on, with a few bad habits. While my mom was trying to “help” me lose weight, Id find her locking up the fridge and freezer, so that after school, I wouldn’t be able to eat anything until she got home from work. This was her way of supervising my diet while she was gone. This only led to me sneaking food behind my parents back. When using the KETO sticks each day, Id manage to find the purple ones in the trash from a few days prior, and urinate on it as if it were a new one. My KETO never failed me that way, and I never failed my mother. Until she found out what I was doing, and at that point, I had to use the KETO sticks in front of her. That diet soon left, and then came the low fat diet. Low fat cottage cheese, low fat this, low fat that. As a young kid its hard enough trying to fit in at school, much less if you’re on a different diet because you are the “fat kid”. Id say I was 199 or so my freshman year, I was 14 years old. I had been on so many diets in the past 2 years, that Id even find myself binging. My parents would send me to the store on my bike, and Id buy loads of candy, and junk food, something I could gobble up before I made it home. Id hide it where I parked my bike, and when they put me on the strict diet, or would put me to bed early so they could eat the ice cream and peach cobbler, Id sneak my own sweets. Being that I never had a boyfriend throughout high school, I devoted all my energy into sports. Like I said, all kids in a small school can be on the team, you just never get the chance to play. The only control I had on my weight when I was in high school was the activity I would get in sports. While all other young adults were experiencing their first kiss and double dating, I didn’t. It was as if I were cursed. Id go to bed many nights crying, and praying that Id be tall and slender like the rest of the girls my age. My mother again thought shed help me out. Shed post a favorite swimsuit I saw in a magazine on the fridge, the same fridge that she kept tightly locked. On the flip side, my dad would often bribe me with food. He was my escape. He ask me to go to town with him, and when I declined, he would say, “we will eat Chinese, or steaks” or whatever it was I was craving at that point. My father and I would also take many fishing trips together the next few years, and during that time he’d invest in a dozen hamburgers on the way to the lake. Id invest in extra weight. There reached a point where my father wanted to lose weight as well. So we joined Nutri System together. I had to be pre-approved by my doctor so I could join, since I was only a teen at the time. This diet among many others lead to short success. I managed to lose 30 pounds, and felt great. But it seemed no matter how great I did, nobody would notice, and so the short success lead to failure once again. The weight creeped back on, and would always seem to add 5 or 10 more pounds with it. When I graduated from high school at 17 years old, I weighed 230 pounds. I remember it very clearly. Wow, I just realized in only 10 years I have managed to gain 100 pounds. At this rate I will weigh 490 pounds by the time my 5 month old graduates from high school. If I live that long. College was no easier. With college though, came all exposure to eating disorders that I somehow missed in high school. I recall trying the laxatives, trying to startle my gag reflex to vomit, and starving myself until I even began to pass out from lack of food and water. I even went to the pharmacy in search of syrup of Ipecac since I wasn’t successful with purging with my finger. Diet pills were “the thing”. Oh, I failed to mention when I was around 14 or 15 my mom began giving me the world famous Phen-Fen, along with the 4 or 5 other pills that went along with it. So Diet Pills weren’t new to me. Around 2000 I topped the scales at 255 pounds or so, Metabolife and Ephedrine was the thing at the time. I found myself buying it in bulk, and then eating nothing but pretzels and water for weeks at a time. Again, the weight came off, I felt terrible, and would end up eating in excess and so more weight would just build back on. When I married my husband in 2002 I weighed 272 pounds. Since we have been married I have tried numerous times to drop the extra weight. We even invested in exercise equipment totaling $3500. We joined gyms, we have walked, even managed to jog for a few steps. But the minute I let my guard down, it never fails, I gain. Nursing school added another 15 or so pounds on me. I cant describe how difficult it is to explain to my diabetic patients the importance of healthy weight when here I sit at a plump 329. When I got pregnant with our son I weighed 290, when he was born, I had gained a whopping 60 pounds. The stress on my joints and body was unbearable. I began trying to lose weight once again, this January on a simple low calorie diet. I try to be more active, but it is very difficult to perform even the easiest tasks. I often get short of breath from doing simple things like bringing in the groceries, or doing laundry. Cleaning the house, doing yard work, picking up my child is all very difficult for me to do. I cant even enjoy going to a movie theater or riding roller coasters because I am to large for the seats. Pleasurable activities that I once enjoyed such as gardening, walking and riding a bike is a thing of the past, a mere memory. I am requesting your approval for the Lap Band so that I can have a 2nd chance at life. I’ve been happily married for almost 4 years now, and our 5 month old son deserves to see his mom another 40 or 50 years. Id love to one day ride a bike with him, ride roller coasters, play catch, and go to the beach. I don’t want to burden him with the weight I have been carrying my whole life. I don’t want to be the “fat mama”. My family has many co-morbidities: MY MATERNAL SIDE: My mother--has hip, knee and back pain. She is expected to have knee surgery at the end of this year. She is also obese, has hypertension, GERD and high cholesterol. She has also been advised she is borderline diabetic. My grandmother--she too had hip, knee and back pain. She had osteoporosis, high cholesterol, asthma, sleep apnea, GERD and heart disease. She had multiple diagnoses of Cancer including bladder, kidney and lung cancer. She was also obese. She passed at an early age of 67. My grandfather--he is still living after a quadruple bypass. He has a history of diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, high cholesterol, osteoporosis and PVD. He is also obese. MY PATERNAL SIDE: My father--he has experienced a heart attack at a young age, CHF, COPD, diabetic, hypertension and is obese. My grandmother--history of diabetes, PAD, heart disease, GERD, cancer, osteoporosis and is also obese. My grandfather--died of a massive heart attack at the age of 55, he had a history of diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, CHF, COPD, and high cholesterol. My health history--I suffer from chronic back and hip pain. I have been diagnosed with bursitis in the right hip. I have shortness of breath with light tasks. I experience daytime sleepiness, and I’m physically to tired to do anything. I experience reflux and heartburn. It took my husband and I three years to get pregnant with our son. I suffered from irregular periods due to my obesity. I also have issues with rashes under bilateral breasts, on my bottom and peri area. I also experience anxiety and am currently on anti-depressant medications due to my current health condition. I take pain medicine daily to help with hip and back pain.   A few other issues that make life in general very difficult being morbidly obese. I have a hard time doing simple things like shaving my legs, not to mention getting out of the bathtub. My bra straps cut into my shoulders, causing everyday neck pain because of strain from my breasts. I also have a very hard time finding a bra that will even fit me. I also have a tendency to get a rash under both of my breasts--which at first breaks out and itches, then becomes a sore open area that hurts to even touch it. Its rather embarrassing but its hard to even clean myself properly after using the restroom. I also have a tendency to be overly sweaty and therefore my butt crack collects moisture and then it too cracks and is very painful just like my breasts. I also have incontinence of urine with the littlest tasks. I find this very embarrassing, and have began wearing panty liners at all time to prevent accidents in public. Standing for longer than 30 minutes plays a toll on my joints and back, and I must sit down. Many times just the weight on my lower back from sitting down causes pain, and therefore I have to lie down. Lets not even mention the fact about finding clothes for me. I am currently in size 32 shirt, and 28 jeans, and its nearly impossible to find these sizes at the local Walmart. I have to purchase most of my clothing at a plus size women’s store which is VERY expensive as you may know. Seat belts are nearly never large enough, I have my own seat belt extender which I carry with me while traveling anywhere. In a world were society labels morbidly obese as out of the ordinary I feel exactly that way when in public. I often get treated wrongly because I am obese. I have had waitresses purposely sit me at a booth at a restaurant knowing that I couldn’t fit, then giggle behind my back when seeing me try. Please, this is my last resort to eliminating the hurt and pain that I have gone through for so many years. Again, I feel this is my last resort to freedom from this weight and burden I have been carrying my entire life. The results from my MRI done on June 30th of this year revealed that I have a herniated disc to my lower back. This seems to be the cause of the back pain, and with the added weight on my back, it makes matters even worse. I have been referred to a pain specialist where they have plans on injecting my lower back with steroid injections from time to time, and assisting me with pain management. This was definitely devastating news, here I am 27 years old, and I am told my back has a herniated disc. I am also told my primary care physician that this condition only gets worse, that it can never heal on its own. I also have the understanding that losing weight will help the pain that I am experiencing at this time by relieving some of the pressure off of that area. The only other option is surgery. Please also take this into consideration when determining if the Lap Band is right for me. My weight loss history--Over the counter diet pills: Hydroxycut, Metabolife, TrimSpa, Xantrex 3, ENERGY, Lipo 6, Stacker 2. Prescription medications: Phen-Fen, Phentermine, Xenical, Meridia. Diets used in the past: Jenny Craig, Nutri System, Weight Watchers, South beach, cardiac, Atkins, Sugar Busters, Slim Fast, low fat, grapefruit. As you can see I have tried many many times to drop the weight. It seems every woman in my family is morbidly obese, this obviously is genetic in my family. I am not overweight because I haven’t put forth the effort to diet or exercise. I am overweight because I am the 5th generation of morbidly obese women. I am obese because I cant remain on a routine exercise plan because of back and joint pain. I am obese because I have tried so many diets in the past my metabolism has appeared to have completely shut down. I realize that this is a lot of information, and I do apologize. I simply wanted to give you a full history of my attempts to lose weight. I cant tell you how many times I have failed at weight loss. I am fearful that with the rate that I am going, I will not be able to live a happy, healthy life. I am fearful that I too will die of a massive heart attack at 55 or have to live as a bilateral amputee because diabetes got the best of me. Please consider me for this surgery, I feel this is my last chance at life.         Thank you.
NurseWiggins

NurseWiggins

1
 

Im getting excited now!!! Almost ready to submit...

Well, I went to my PCP today to get my Letter of Medical Necssity. I then walked it over to my surgeons office (Dr. Mason) along with my 5 page letter to the insurance company, my fat pictures, my lab work and my MRI taken on Friday June 30th. Come to find out I have a herniated disc between my L4 and L5. SO that is whats causing all the pain!!! AT LEAST I KNOW!!! :phanvan   So now Im only waiting on my LMN from my OBGYN and my psych eval. Those letters should be in transit to the surgeons office this week. So perhaps we will be submitting all my paperwork by the end of this week!!!! OMG!!!! And Ive seen where Great-West has approved in less than 24 hours!!!! I may be getting a surgery date before I know it!!!!!! WOOOOO HOOO!!!!!!
NurseWiggins

NurseWiggins

1
 

Grrrrrr, well, now im discouraged.

:Banane09: :Banane57: :Banane41: :Banane45: :success1: :huggie: :boink: :nono: :cake: :star: :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry I dont even think that will be enough sad smilies to express how im feeling. GRRRR. Well, I called AGAIN today to Great West to see if I have been approved or denied. The nurse Marilyn said that I need 2 more things to add to my file of 22 pages!!!! 1) I need the 6 month dietary eval. 2) I need to see a Dietician--Im not even sure if thats spelled correctly because Ive never seen one. GRRRRRR. So more of a delay on this surgery. So damn depressing. :Cry: So now I have to make yet another appointment and see yet another person to talk about how fat I am. Great. This really makes my frickin day. BLAH.  
NurseWiggins

NurseWiggins

2
 

Banded April 3rd 2007!!!!

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: Well, on April 3rd, 2007 I was banded!!! Its been a little over a week, and im starting to feel hungry again. I have another dr appointment in 2 weeks the 24th I think--when I will recieve my first fill...Im down 12 pounds so far! Im thrilled, I feel better already. Its just a psychological roller coaster. Am I physically hungry?? Emotionally hungry? Or just wanting to freaking eat??? Thats where Im at, I just want food. This mental thing is getting at me. uggh. Though, when I do eat, I can now tell when I am full. LOL, I dont think there ever was a full stage before. lol. So, heres to my new life, my new me. :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1:
NurseWiggins

NurseWiggins

1
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