Almost 2 years since my band became a part of me I have cracked 10 stones! 142 lbs to be exact and never did I ever imagine I would lose so much. Most of the weight loss was in the first year and now it's just an occasional pound here and there that I lose. I reckon I am almost at my natural weight and still I am obese! I am 7lbs away from weighing the same as I did when I was 18, I am now 52 so I can be happy where I am and a little happier if I make it eventually.
Still I can not get used to being smaller. I see gaps in aisles when shopping and look for a bigger space in which to manouevre my bulk. I can now bend in a smaller space without knocking items from shelves with my derriere, that's bizarre. I still talk about the band like it happened yesterday and expect never to get really used to it. Daily, some days, hourly it reminds me of it's presence. I do forget for a short time that I have it now and again and make the mistake of not chewing properly, of placing too much food in my mouth and forgetting NOT to try and hold a conversation at the same time, therefore forgetting that vital chewing process we must all remember with every bite.
I have dropped 6 English sizes and am now size 18. I know this would be horrific for a woman who has been used to being size 8 or 10 but for me this is slim, normal, no longer freakish or the butt of skinnie's jokes. Not that I ever heard many of them anyway so they were wasting their breath. Being 'normal' is difficult to comprehend. I have met up with some old friends since having the band fitted and they see no difference as I was this size when they last saw me, I imagine I bore them rigid with my talk about it at times. One friend did tell me not long ago that I really wasn't the dress size I thought I was and to try smething 2 sizes smaller. Can you imagine when that 2 sizes smaller fit? I was used to wearing loose clothes for so long that it never occured to me to wear something that fit me. Now instead of specialist larger ladies clothes by mail order I can walk in the supermarket and buy regular clothes. I have choices.
I probably will never have my band tightened again, we get on ok as we are now even though some days do seem much tighter than others, today especially feels like a tight belt around my middle. I dream of it being removed and eating pizza, loaves of bread, take away all to myself, well I can dream but it's really the nightmare lifestyle that got me where I was. Hell I miss pizza and no doubt about it but Pizza manages quite well without me thank you and I manage much better without IT!
but I'll carry on because I'm worth it. (That's so hard to say)
I had a 2nd fill 4 days ago, an addtional 2.5 mls so now have 6.5 mls and it's tight. The doc said it was and he wasn't telling lies to me either. :blushing: Since the fill I have had 48 hours on clear fluids which consisted of water, tea, oxo drinks and a concoction I came up with; melon, yogurt and a soya protein powder. I know I previously said I hadn't used it but I have now tried it and it will be a daily addition. It lifted my mood, sounds odd I know but it worked for a while. I also had soluble vitamins being aware that minimal nutrition was going on here.
I have felt awful since this fill, :biggrin::thumbup: It wasn't easy and I was physically manipulated this time but it wasn't for long. This was THE time I needed my trusty chauffeur, Pete my husband, but he just couldn't get the time off, so drive I did!
Today I am going to try prepared jars of baby food, simply because I'm lazy but also scared to get chewing just yet. It may be another few days before I am brave enough to go for the chew, probably Tuesday (chewsday?) because I have the afternoon off work which would give me as long as I need and I have already decided on that meal! It will be cauliflower in cheese sauce with a quorn 'chicken' breast. Hardly solid food but at least I will have to prepare it.
Since I started today's blog I realised my tummy is rumbling so it will soon be receiving Heinz baby creamed porridge. I'm not sure if my stomach or my brain will benefit more from the food LOL
I am a little low at the moment but can see that light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel is very dark right now. I'm sorry not to be my usual chirpy self. I think my lack of exercise isn't helping. There has been a slight concern over my gym membership, too long to explain here probably but basically, it's NHS subsidised and dates have lapsed between my reviews and my membership has become invalid. I am seeing my gym man , JIM, on Tuesday so it will likely be sorted then. Until then I will walk a bit. I did set myself a small challenge in August to cover 50 miles with exercise of one kind or another. I completed it and passed it and will add to it today also. I will likely manage 55 miles. I read other challenges where they were covering 30 miles day, how do they manage that at all? The time aspect o it would floor me apart from the fact I'd be dead in a heap by the end of the first day. I am no athlete! I would like to add to that mileage for September but have to be realistic so may well set it at 55 miles and see if I can make it more. Little steps are my way forward, the Olympics don't need me.
I'm off for that porridge now, can't wait any longer............
Hi Donna, Good to see you here. I am not sure where 133 lbs came from , my personal target is 182, 13 stones. You know after the op my brain was in la la land for a few weeks, I think I was in shock LOL I shall change that immediately.
Regarding foods and supplements, I eat what I want. I believe our bodies tell us what they need anyway although I do take a multi vitamin each day I never added protein powders or anything in addition to meals. I started off on liquids for 3 days and I had fresh fruit juice watered down and vegetable juice, V8 is quite tasty. For that short time the juice and my favourite cups of tea were enough. I then moved onto liquidised foods for what should have been 2 weeks but was in fact 11 days because I craved chewing and gum didn't work. It was at the 11th day I started back exercising, I had played with it previously but I stopped losing weight and was feeling quite despondent and wondering why I had bothered at all if all I was going to lose was the 15lbs I managed upto that point. I still felt very strange but that's just how I am after general anaesthetic. I read this site, cover to cover and the point that kept screaming out to me was that those who lose regularly, also move regularly so that must be the key. It's not rocket science but hey, what fat bird exercises regularly with passion, certainly wasn't me.
For the very soft foods I liquidised everything but made my meals simple; fish in sauce with veg was a favourite and they were those you buy in the bags with sauce. Instant mash and carrot and spinach were quick and easy and I made in bulk and froze. It doesn't look great liquidised but it hit the spot. At this stage I started to use quorn as a protein replacement because it is softer than meat of any kind. It liquidises well with veg too or on it's own with gravy. I also pureed fruit which I would eat with plain low fat yogurt, still a favourite now. I did find prunes were not beneficial for the purpose I bought them, constipation was a problem at the early liquidised stage. Prunes gave me pain in my gut rather than got things moving. I had to revert to movicol which doesn't purge you, but holds the moisture and so stops constipation. And on toilet matters, you need to know, you won't 'go' as often as before and taking the movicol will help stop constipation at this stage when you will hold any waste much longer than usual. At my worst stage I went 5 days and that was before movicol, not a pleasant experience in fact I'd rather eat nails! I spent the whole day upstairs in and out of the bathroom doing nothing of effect. Hence movicol, well worth getting some in ready.
It is vitally important to drink water. That sounds like a silly point to make but it will keep you hydrated and I don't know why but on the days I don't take at least 1.5 litres, I lose nothing!
And now I can probably eat anything. I am still learning to chew properly and did have a problem yesterday when I totally forgot all the rules and downed a roast potato that may as well have been a brick. IT HURT! and it was my fault. I eat whatever I make for the family, unless I fancy something different. I control my portion by using a small glass, if it doesn't fit in, it doesn't get to my plate and therefore it doesn't get to my mouth. I don't count calories but I am more and more aware not to abuse myself with eating rubbish. The way I see it, if I can only eat a handful, it had better be good and by good I mean serve my body as well as my eyes which are still bigger than my belly, or so they think LOL. Others may say I should count every calorie,weigh every gram, be more aware of nutritional values etc etc but this is a lifestyle change for me. I'm not training to be a dietician and dieting taught me in the past that I can't do that, it's boring, makes life boring, takes up far too much time and energy. I am aware to eat protein, carbs and vitamins and I do and occasionally I have something naughty. It's working for me right now, it may be that eventually my thinking on this will change and I will become a 'counter' but for now, I eat less and move more than I ever thought I could and it works.
It is all new to you and will be totally different to your life before your op andyou will have fleeting moments when you regret doing it but I assure you it's amazing Donna. The feeling of empowerment and so what if you need a lap band to assist you to live a longer and healthier life? The only people who will knock it are those who haven't tried it. Opposition is something you will come up against. I have already lost a friend because of it, she's a big girl (32 stones) and happy she says and spends most of her life drowning in beer. She called me a traitor. Another slim friend didn't like the fact that I may become slimmer, I think the word 'threat' was at the back of her mind but she said I'd lose my personality. She may come to terms with it, she may not. I can live with either.
Everyone I know is aware of my band, it's no secret although I know for many people it's vital it isn't revealed. It's also no shame to have the help the band gives you.
Going back to the exercise issues, I recently found out I have arthritis in my knees, wear and tear I suppose and that I have the scar from a previous fracture to the femur that I never knew about. The arthritis does slow me down but I exercise daily when possible with walking and the gym and alternate days when the knee tells me to. I want to swim but still can't bear the thought of being in public in a swimsuit. Maybe one day.
