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up & down

Today is bad bad day. Everything is up and down, the mood the scales the food.......:thumbup:I guess this is one of those days i used to have pre banding, you know the days, it all just gets to you. I have eaten a heap of crap today too. YYYYYYYY did I do this??????? Help>>>>>>> I am just not in the mood for anything.. Exercise can take a big jump for itself today, It is slipper day here. This will pass I know .. but for now it really sucks:crying: No Cheers today Chooky:frown:

Chooky

Chooky

 

Chat room trouble

CHAT ROOM?????? WHAT'S UP WITH IT? I have logged on logged off logged on & still no chatty chat for Chooky:cursing: Any idea's. Is it just me?:blushing: HELP PLEASE< ANY IDEA'S CHEERS CHOOKY:thumbup:

Chooky

Chooky

 

Sunny Days

:cursing:Thank goodness the sun has come out..... I think the constant rain must contribute to the low day's, but today warm and sunny.... so is the mood:smile: Back to curves today and finally got around to getting the smart card thingy, but after my workout the computer said I had only burned 350 calories which has really made me look at everything going in my gob today. So I've cleaned the windows but.... Now I'm just confused. I really thought it would burn more than that for some reason, especially since I am a sweaty wobbly mess by the time I have finished the circuit. Grandma's birthday tomorrow and the kids want to make her a fudge cake!!! *#!^* :cursing: Will I end up swimming around in the mixing bowl singing "memories?" or should I just let Foghorn help the kid's?? He will definatley fight the kids for the mixers (this is a grown man who will sulk if he doesn't get a beater or the bowl). I hope his tongue gets jammed in them.:cursing: So because it has been a warm day I thought I would look at last year's board shorts collection that is laying in the wardrobe. This stuff fit me last summer:eek: Now I cant get some of it past my knee's!! What have I done to myself again is all I can think and why, at least now with the band that cycle is over with because I couldn't do it again, it's just to exhausting. Fat' Thin & Fat again. So it's 10 weeks ish to the great family holiday in the sun and I'm praying for the board shorts to fit and to be able to move in the dam things.:cursing: Cheers Chooky:biggrin:

Chooky

Chooky

 

5 Weeks

Five week's already post, It's gone v.quick, considering I was counting down the day's till I went ahead with everything. All the biuld up to surgery and now I've had my first fill which resulted in almost chucking on the nurse:eek: and comming home to drag the blender back out for soup, soup, soup. For some reason and this is being v.honest I thought the weight loss would of been a bit quicker, so far 10kg and a holiday in 12 weeks where swimming is a must , no hiding allowed. Feel calmer about that though as I know I'm not just rushing this for the bather's it's forever, but I will still be huge and I can't where a sign saying "But I have lost weight":redface: The food thing is ok, although today I really wanted bread, a great big slice, toasted with butter and nutella and a diet coke..... That's another thing no d.coke for 5 week's now, this comming from someone who could easily drink a carton a day and never left the house without one no matter how quick the trip was. I can devide my little world into two groups now, those who think you weight loss cheater and those who think I'm never hungry, physically no I guess I'm not, but mentally.... where's the toaster:tongue: Freindships are changing and that's why I find myself here tapping away to the world I guess. A couple of friends have been on all the same mad diets and binges with me, now I have had this lap thing put in and zap I no longer have any issues to contend with and realise they are not going to accept this. Other's are dying to take me to the skinny shop for a makeover (not allowed in before-2fat). I 'm beginning to realise that these 2 groups never really mixed with each other either. B is trying to be supportive and is doing his best I will give him that, but can't really grasp how anyone could do this to themselves, I mean give up steak, are you kidding me? I 'll admit I could really just about lick a cow right now but ..... Anyway it's not all a downer that just all came out from who know's where. I feel very detoxed and have no food hangover's to deal with every morning and retrainning myself in everyday things, like going to the beach for a ride and a play with the kids is that. Not how quick can I get them off the swings and into the fish and chip shop or the icecream place for waffle's and a take home pack not to share . The dog's are losing wieght too. Anyway I think I 'm going to have to lick a cow now or at least chase it around the paddock Cheers:tt2:

Chooky

Chooky

 

Help

Can anybody help me???? I'm not very computer lit:confused: How do I contact lapband talk to ask what's going on with the chat room??? Please help. Can't find a contact us bit to click on:crying: Any Idea's:biggrin: Cheers Chooky MISS CHATTING TO EVERYONE:sad:

Chooky

Chooky

 

Happy happy happy

:cursing:Looks like those dark day's have passed for the time being. Dragged family out to do something healthy 2day, we walked miles at the beach and played on the swings and had fish and chips for lunch. Ihad about a matchbox of fish and the kids decided they don't like the batter anymore:thumbup: then fed most of the chips to the gulls instead of squabbling over them, they are being so good 2, not that they have any issues with wieght, but it's great to see the learning curve my banding has given them as well. I am going to brak into the next group of 10s on the scale v.soon and that has been a real mental hurdle for me and I actually can't wait to get back to the gym, but this time not let it take over my life and become totally controlled by it , I'm enjoying involving kids and hubby so will keep all that up and the wieght will come off a bit slower but we will grow better as a family, because for the past few years of fat thin fat I have had no time for them in the true sense its alway's been about my issues even if I manage to put them aside they were still bubbling away in the background. Life is for living and I'm just discovering it because for the past god knows how many years I've olny been exsisting and so has my family, NO MORE:scared2: The whole choccy thng yesterday made me proud, there is so much more than chocolate that can do that for me and from now on everyday I will find something to do it. Whether it's me or the kids or just laughing out loud I'm going to do it, nearly 7 week's in and I found my key to getting through this. LIVE EVERYDAY,LAUGH EVERYDAY,RIDE THIS ROLLERCOASTER.:party: Cheers Chooky

Chooky

Chooky

 

Blah day

:confused:Wow blah days sux don't they. I think the problem is before I could of changed a blah day with a lovely pig out of toast and butter or bacon sandwiches and now my old friends have the building so to speak I am on my own. What to replace these friends of food with??? Don't think I haven't got real friends, I have its just sometimes the food friend was the better one and I s'pose the friendships are changing now as we are not getting together to have a binge. The house is clean and tidy the dogs are walked and the chooks are fed..... so what to do now.....???? I can bake now because I don't live with the cake calling me and saying eat me, eat me until its all gone. But geez this blah thing is yuk..:thumbup: Right I am going to go and jump up and down for a minute and turn the music up and run around and shake this mood:w00t: If that doesn't work I'll make some pies for the lunch box'es and do the damm ironing. This blog has just been a whinge but I feel better for it:redface: Cheers Chooky

Chooky

Chooky

 

????????????

:confused:Where do the days go??????? It's been just over 8 weeks now since I was banded and 2 fills. Now have about 4ml in band and am back on clear stuff again. It's made me realise hoe far you come in those 4 weeks, Thursday night I was eating chicken and veges and today I am having a shake and very slowly at that. The worst bit is the kids and hasband have just had a hotdig each and are now chowing down on one of Betty Crockers finest. (Deluxe m&m cake with frosting):thumbup: The worst bit is my little girl told the girl at the shop my mum can't eat this cake because the doctor cut holes in her tummy and now she has little plates and lot's of coffee,dad wants her to get a bikini. Welll... the girl thought she said zucchini and did the call out thing got some brought over and now i have 6 of the damm things in the fridge residing next to betty bloody crockers cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:biggrin: Went back to the gym last week and that felt good, noticed i didn't have the biggest bum in the place anymore which I know I shouldn't count but if I'm honest it felt good actually. Well i'm going to take a bath and google some zucchini receipes that will thrill all the residents in this house..(not) Cheers Chooky

Chooky

Chooky

 

Choccy choc choc

:cursing:Today has been declared the day I threw chocolate in the bin.... I gotten all comy gunna watch a movie & suddenly remebered there is choc in the house. Got up and grabbed it & stuffed a few bits in & started to chew before I thought:scared2: & I still cant believe it I spat it out , then threw the rest in the bin & poured some old gravy on it so I wouldn't get it out. Grabbed the kids and took the fluffy one for a play in the park. cant believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now its much later andI would sell my soul for that same chocolate but I do belive I am a little prouder feeling:smile2: Must of started at the movies and chinese last night . Hubby & I would of gone to town ordering 3 or 4 dish'es each and then hit the candy bar later, but I had soup he had a curry and at the movies I had a small skim hot choc and he had a d.coke, so the bingey thing was creeping around but looking at it now I think is this how "normal people live?" because for the first time ever I didn't feel gross and fooded out and we only spen a 1/4 of we would of normally spent. I think I am in shock really because it feels good. Except I think half the people in the cafe were looking and thinking they must have a takeaway order comming, back up the trailer boy's it s a big one. Well :tt2:to all of them I walked tall for the first time I can remember and had a great nite too. Cheers to everyone Chooky:thumbup:

Chooky

Chooky

 

July7 no more macca's

Swore this would never happen absolutley on a pair if size 12 jeans, I would not go to the golden arches in this new life for anything more than a coffee, but.... I had to do it and try a nugget because I was absolutly starving and well the rest is history as they say.:confused3: The exercise thing has picked up again, can't get to the gym because it's school holiday's, but am doing stuff around the place instead with the kid's and making up a little routine of my own that I'm doing every night now hidden away in the front room. Took the kids to one of those indoor gym play thing's today and thoought an adult's only one would be great, thought I would join in until I saw a staff member ( about 15 yr old and 15 kilo's) telling a dad off for being on the equipment, this was after I had convinced myself to do it and that I wouldn't get stuck and have the fire dept cutting me out of a tunnel and having to put the kid's in therapy for a few year's to get over the trauma of the afternoon. Still next time I should just post a lookout. I can't believe I feel so well everyday , no yucky bloating or just to yuck to live even a little bit and everything is just a massive task. I keep waiting for something to happen that will bring it all back and the :thumbup: feeling will be ther like an old friend saying "did ya miss me?" I'll have to go into the suitcase of clothes that I was wearing and packed away and find a pair of boardies for the holiday and then pray that in 12 weeks I can do them up and breathe in them. Cheers

Chooky

Chooky

 

Mistake!!!!!!!!

Never declare pj day until it is over.... Cursed the day I think and we ended up gardening and making pencil holder's and goingto a strwberry farm . So next time I will wait till it's over before this fat lady sings.:cursing: Can the weeding count as 2days exercise? because really thats been it today, I did fill about 6 wheel barrows to the top, so maybe..... now I'm thinking food:drool: and what to have for tea, the others have got a chow meiny thingy but it's to dry for me, but I reckon I could just about get in the wok and roll around in it. I'll make a nice coffee to get over this (Ihope) and have some soup later. mmm:thumbdown: Right no more pj day's!!!!!!! Cheers everyone Chooky

Chooky

Chooky

 

Friends

:thumbup:I know why I have been so blah>>>>>>> I miss all my best friend soooo much. Grease, chocolate and fish and chips and I go back a long way together, I miss the times we have shared at the beach or late at night in bed together and my new friends protien shake and tuna with its bestfriend white sauce just don't understand me:lol: Gone are the Friday nights with my 11 best friends (tim tams) laying in thier pack ready to share my crappy day and my bar of fruit and nut ready wrap me up in it's comforting hug and I can't settle to anything else to replace it.. This will sound really crazy now, I know as i'm writing it even, but I feel like someone has died somehow berefit and unable to shake that feeling of just lonliness. This is plain pathetic over a bar of chocolate and I will have to smack myself and get out more . But after of what really amounts to a lifetime of having these crutches to suport myself I'm beginning to find it very hard not to have them anymore. OLD HABITS DIE HARD So after 8 weeks even though i had read heaps, researched what I was doing and spoken to others who had already had the band I am now glimpsing that this is really it..... I dont regret this at all but the support is some what lacking here at home at the moment :frown:and my old friends can't come over to play at my house anymore and if tuna knocks on the door tonight I will have to set the dogs on her.....:biggrin: Cheers Chooky

Chooky

Chooky

 

The rest of my life

Athought came to me this morning:blink: When this generation end up in retirement homes will the population mainly be covered in tattoo's , piercings and have some sort of WLS been done on them? By then maybe all the mushie food won't matter so much anymore but it just made me think what is the world comming too/ Which then made me think , now I'm turning into my mother, who by the way is turning into her mother a little more eachday.:blushing: So I wonder if I will end up a skinny old lady with a belly button ring and a couple of tattoo's and a lapband living out my day's in whisering pines home or some such, eating mush and disgracing the grandkids. HOPEFULLY:thumbup: But at least I will be skinny!!!! The day is still young here, so who know's what it will bring, hopefully a few laughs and definatly a few more coffee's and a walk with the dog's and kids. Hope everyone has a great day Cheers Chooky:w00t:

Chooky

Chooky

 

In shock

It's my Dad in shock not me.... The oldies came for lunch today and we were having homemade savory pasties and strawberry piklets with cream cheese and honey, all the healthy low fat versions but none of which I could eat or felt like eating today. Dad keeps saying but one wont hurt. He just has not grasped the concept of what I've done and why would anyone do that 2 themselves:confused: when I said I haven't eaten any bread or pastry or steak or... any of his daily stples I thought The shock nearly killed him:eek:. The father inlaw said, " Well when you lose the weight you can get taken off and properly again"????????????????????????? I have tried to explain but realisse that these 2 old dogs aren't up to learning any new tricks at this stage. I spose these 2 represent a growing number in my immediate circle who can't comprehend the sacrifices I am willing to make because now I can really see the bigger picture. & it's not my bum in a photo again. Between them they have decided Christmas day will not be worth living if they have to have it at my house because there will be no food, All this said as they chow down on the pasties and piklets while I have a shake.... These two are nuts:w00t: Still at least that means someone else can shop, clean and cook all day instead of me. Other than that have had a great day and their reactions have made me laugh:lol: ONLY ! WEEK OF HOLIDAYS 2GO Cheers Chooky

Chooky

Chooky

 

I want Toast

:biggrin:Wow.. I am dying for some toast but don't think I handle that whole someone is punching me in the throat feeling if it get's stuck. Before my fill (week ago) I was eating pretty normally (no toast) but rice cakes and tuna and salad stuff but now I can't even get that down and seem to be living on porridge and mashed veges with fish as long as it's pretty saucy. One thing I have discovered is all the different flavored tea's & coffee's this has been a bit of a life saver in the times I would normally eat crap now I have the nicer coffee and that feel's like a treat. Can't get to the gym with the kids but we washed the car and did a big tidy up outside and then went for a long walk on the beach front, it was blowing a gale and we had a play on the playgrounds and had fun so that will have to count as today's exercise. Husband could probably reccommend a different kind of workout but I just can't be bothered. Thats the thing, since I got banded I just am not interested in the bedroom aerobics, really couldn't careless,does anybody else feel that way? Six weeks is pushing the boundaries a bit. Anyway going to go find something to mash Cheers Chooky

Chooky

Chooky

 

Down days

Been having a couple of down day's... Went to a real live support group yesterday , but it was over run by one person who wouldn't let anyone else talk or if they did she could top it or just took over and I feel a heap better on this site with you guy's than that so.... Been reading everybodies blogs and feel lots better cheers chooky:thumbup:

Chooky

Chooky

 

NATIONAL P>J DAY

I here by declare this day NATIONAL P>J DAY IN THIS HOUSE....... We all need a day at home to relax and just loll around a bit and only get out of the pjs when it's time to put clean ones on 2nite. Even the dogs are keeping thier jackets on and seem to be happy on thier beds soo...... Made the kids yummy french toast for brekky but coated it in cocnut and cornflakes and when it was cooked drizzled honey over it and strawberries on top, :party: before i would of eaten till i felt sick. Today only had my porridge and coffee. The kids sound like ww3 is starting so maybe the pj day is over before it has even really begun..... DAMM.:cursing: Cheers Chooky

Chooky

Chooky

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