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Chat room

Is anybody else having problem's with the chatroom? All of a sudden it won't load for me Help..... cheers chooky
Chooky

Chooky

6
 

Choccy choc choc

:cursing:Today has been declared the day I threw chocolate in the bin.... I gotten all comy gunna watch a movie & suddenly remebered there is choc in the house. Got up and grabbed it & stuffed a few bits in & started to chew before I thought:scared2: & I still cant believe it I spat it out , then threw the rest in the bin & poured some old gravy on it so I wouldn't get it out. Grabbed the kids and took the fluffy one for a play in the park. cant believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now its much later andI would sell my soul for that same chocolate but I do belive I am a little prouder feeling:smile2: Must of started at the movies and chinese last night . Hubby & I would of gone to town ordering 3 or 4 dish'es each and then hit the candy bar later, but I had soup he had a curry and at the movies I had a small skim hot choc and he had a d.coke, so the bingey thing was creeping around but looking at it now I think is this how "normal people live?" because for the first time ever I didn't feel gross and fooded out and we only spen a 1/4 of we would of normally spent. I think I am in shock really because it feels good. Except I think half the people in the cafe were looking and thinking they must have a takeaway order comming, back up the trailer boy's it s a big one. Well :tt2:to all of them I walked tall for the first time I can remember and had a great nite too. Cheers to everyone Chooky:thumbup:
Chooky

Chooky

6
 

Big fat cheater

HA HA People are starting to notice that I have lost weight, which has been nice and I am finally after all these years acceptting the compliments.:thumbup:Un til today at the gym one of the other members commented that I was looking like I had lost wieght, when one of the instructors butted in and siad " eh but she doesn't have work at it like you though cos shes been banded so its just the cheats way":cursing: This woman then went "oh how dissappointing for you"!!!!!!! WHAT THE??????:eek: Finally accepted this is not the easy way only to have ones nose rubbed in it. I really wanted to either scream "Oh F***** off" or just leave, instead i was very grown up and finished my work out put in a formal compliant about member confidentiallity and left thinking well my ass may be bigger than yours but my mouth certianly isn't!!!!!:wink: Would the general public judge people with other addictions like this? or would they have a bit more empathy and think good on you? Cheers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

5
 

Chat room trouble

CHAT ROOM?????? WHAT'S UP WITH IT? I have logged on logged off logged on & still no chatty chat for Chooky:cursing: Any idea's. Is it just me?:blushing: HELP PLEASE< ANY IDEA'S CHEERS CHOOKY:thumbup:
Chooky

Chooky

4
 

Help

Can anybody help me???? I'm not very computer lit:confused: How do I contact lapband talk to ask what's going on with the chat room??? Please help. Can't find a contact us bit to click on:crying: Any Idea's:biggrin: Cheers Chooky MISS CHATTING TO EVERYONE:sad:
Chooky

Chooky

4
 

Blah day

:confused:Wow blah days sux don't they. I think the problem is before I could of changed a blah day with a lovely pig out of toast and butter or bacon sandwiches and now my old friends have the building so to speak I am on my own. What to replace these friends of food with??? Don't think I haven't got real friends, I have its just sometimes the food friend was the better one and I s'pose the friendships are changing now as we are not getting together to have a binge. The house is clean and tidy the dogs are walked and the chooks are fed..... so what to do now.....???? I can bake now because I don't live with the cake calling me and saying eat me, eat me until its all gone. But geez this blah thing is yuk..:thumbup: Right I am going to go and jump up and down for a minute and turn the music up and run around and shake this mood:w00t: If that doesn't work I'll make some pies for the lunch box'es and do the damm ironing. This blog has just been a whinge but I feel better for it:redface: Cheers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

4
 

What happened back there?????

Nobody ever said "Hey you are getting really fat these day's". If I am honest I wouldn't of listened anyway but........ Holy Sh***t when did it happen???:tt1: What has brought this on? Well the whole house is asleep and not a creature is stirring not even a mouse, except for me who was lokking for a book and then started looking at a couple of old photo albums and it has left me in shock. Fat engagement , fat birthdays , fat weddings, (mine and others) fat look at my new baby's , fat on a camel ( i am so sorry but I had lost weight!!!):frown:fat in the pool, fat on holiday.. fat fat fat.... HUGE . My poor baby looked so tiny, I look miserable in all the photo's, I wasn't it was just the way the fat pulled my face down. I feel such sadness looking at this person, which is strange because it's as if I am grieving for someone or something I don't even know. Really its just horriffic to see myself like that and know how bad I felt all the time. 7 Months down the lapband track and lost 40kg I just think of all the hate and anger I carried around all the time, it's like as the wieght has gone that has too. But how do I say sorry to all those people I hid from, or lashed out at because I couldn't stand being me so made up all sort of irrattional ways in my head to excuse myself from the situations or pick at the slightest faults, to hide my huge one, how do I get back those lost years with my babies, who just annoyed me with thier demands for my time and making me do things other mums could and I couldn't, not because of some terrible thing but because i was fat, I can't get it back. How could I of loved food more than them??? I feel truly sorry for that woman who has wasted so much time and hated herself and so many around her for so long and I am sorry for her stupidity because those people still love her and the shame is a killer, but.... I've written this with out a real connection to her, its as if I am looking at someone I knew a long time ago and strangly feel as if I am grieving For Her???????? Moved on and away from her, n ot feeling confused because I am happy and sunny days are fun, not looking over my shoulder for something all the time and wondering whats missing. Well it's her and finding those photo's made me realise it, she's gone and I am moving on and it's sad but it's good, I am done with her and her crap so is my family. I feel everyday I am finding something in me that was always there but I wouldn't look for and its peaceful, its not confused and angry its just nice, there are a lot of butterflies in my garden I never noticed them before but they are everywhere and I just sit and watch them, they just resonate calm, they have always been there year in year out I got told, go figure hey I just noticed them. Peace + calm to you all Cheers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

4
 

Whats that?

I was sitting at the breakfast table this morning and my son asked me "whats that?" Turns out he has never seen my collar bones before. lol Christmas here was great and was under my goal of 100kg and as it stands now am 88kg which is 7kg under my original goalso thats a total of 44kg lost in 7 months. No more fills for the forseeable future and picking a date for the tummy tuck is next. What a journey this has been and now the next phase has started.:confused: Cheers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

4
 

????????????

:confused:Where do the days go??????? It's been just over 8 weeks now since I was banded and 2 fills. Now have about 4ml in band and am back on clear stuff again. It's made me realise hoe far you come in those 4 weeks, Thursday night I was eating chicken and veges and today I am having a shake and very slowly at that. The worst bit is the kids and hasband have just had a hotdig each and are now chowing down on one of Betty Crockers finest. (Deluxe m&m cake with frosting):thumbup: The worst bit is my little girl told the girl at the shop my mum can't eat this cake because the doctor cut holes in her tummy and now she has little plates and lot's of coffee,dad wants her to get a bikini. Welll... the girl thought she said zucchini and did the call out thing got some brought over and now i have 6 of the damm things in the fridge residing next to betty bloody crockers cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:biggrin: Went back to the gym last week and that felt good, noticed i didn't have the biggest bum in the place anymore which I know I shouldn't count but if I'm honest it felt good actually. Well i'm going to take a bath and google some zucchini receipes that will thrill all the residents in this house..(not) Cheers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

3
 

Friends

:thumbup:I know why I have been so blah>>>>>>> I miss all my best friend soooo much. Grease, chocolate and fish and chips and I go back a long way together, I miss the times we have shared at the beach or late at night in bed together and my new friends protien shake and tuna with its bestfriend white sauce just don't understand me:lol: Gone are the Friday nights with my 11 best friends (tim tams) laying in thier pack ready to share my crappy day and my bar of fruit and nut ready wrap me up in it's comforting hug and I can't settle to anything else to replace it.. This will sound really crazy now, I know as i'm writing it even, but I feel like someone has died somehow berefit and unable to shake that feeling of just lonliness. This is plain pathetic over a bar of chocolate and I will have to smack myself and get out more . But after of what really amounts to a lifetime of having these crutches to suport myself I'm beginning to find it very hard not to have them anymore. OLD HABITS DIE HARD So after 8 weeks even though i had read heaps, researched what I was doing and spoken to others who had already had the band I am now glimpsing that this is really it..... I dont regret this at all but the support is some what lacking here at home at the moment :frown:and my old friends can't come over to play at my house anymore and if tuna knocks on the door tonight I will have to set the dogs on her.....:biggrin: Cheers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

3
 

Gggrrrr

GRRRRR I am so argh today, must be pms....:cool2::cursing::laugh: HAPPY TURKEY DAY to all the americans out there. Christmas is comming and all the choccies are in the study saying eat me.......:angry:Going to take them to mums so I cant eat them before Christmas agian this year. I am just a moody bitch today and grr at anyone who looks sideways at me, this is so not me, give it a coulpe of hours and it will be tears, this is worse today because i will not succumb to the choccies to make things better, although i am sure husband will soon ram them down my throat to shut me up.... God what an awful whingee blog Sorry but today is just the pits. The next few weeks are really busy so this mood will go but ...... I know afew cans of d.coke and a bag of lindt balls would help but i am not doing that anymore and i've been for a walk so the world will have to put up with a p**sed off chooky for today, I will stay inside to limit the damage and not answer the phone. Still 99kg but even that does not lift me today. Sorry Chooky:cursing::ohmy::ohmy:
Chooky

Chooky

3
 

Happy happy happy

:cursing:Looks like those dark day's have passed for the time being. Dragged family out to do something healthy 2day, we walked miles at the beach and played on the swings and had fish and chips for lunch. Ihad about a matchbox of fish and the kids decided they don't like the batter anymore:thumbup: then fed most of the chips to the gulls instead of squabbling over them, they are being so good 2, not that they have any issues with wieght, but it's great to see the learning curve my banding has given them as well. I am going to brak into the next group of 10s on the scale v.soon and that has been a real mental hurdle for me and I actually can't wait to get back to the gym, but this time not let it take over my life and become totally controlled by it , I'm enjoying involving kids and hubby so will keep all that up and the wieght will come off a bit slower but we will grow better as a family, because for the past few years of fat thin fat I have had no time for them in the true sense its alway's been about my issues even if I manage to put them aside they were still bubbling away in the background. Life is for living and I'm just discovering it because for the past god knows how many years I've olny been exsisting and so has my family, NO MORE:scared2: The whole choccy thng yesterday made me proud, there is so much more than chocolate that can do that for me and from now on everyday I will find something to do it. Whether it's me or the kids or just laughing out loud I'm going to do it, nearly 7 week's in and I found my key to getting through this. LIVE EVERYDAY,LAUGH EVERYDAY,RIDE THIS ROLLERCOASTER.:party: Cheers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

3
 

silver linings

I haven't blogged for a while,, wow this site has changed a bit. I have had one of the worst days here in a while and I know as I write this that in the grand scheme of things it is nothing absolutly nothing but I need to write it somewhere so it leaves me for a minute. Hubby has been away working since August and not really that contactable as phones drop out and coverage and ..... Kids are beginning to drive me nuts and little things with them that generally get piffiled away are getting yelled at, my family are, to be fair not all of them.. have said some pretty unforgivable things to me with other members saying don't worry about it. Well you do don't you. being trodden all over and still expected to be all smiley and accomodating, Walked out of job this morning, after being treated like crap all week, and am so tired i could lay down and not bother to get up again and allthis crap has made the band so tight nothing for me tonite.... The silver lining is.... Ayear ago I would of put up with all the sh**$t. But Laying in bed going over everything again and agian as you do I realised , I dont have to take it, I am deserve better than that, and for the first time ever I mean it, I actually believe it. How to deal with it all , who knows????????????????????????????? Right now i don't think i even care. AND it feels better just to put it out there Cheers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

3
 

100

Went for fill yesterday and had the weigh in and it was a flat 100kg!!!! Not 99.9 noooo 100, the nurse said take your pants off , go on, But I didn't because thats just going back to all those mind games that I promised myself I wouln't resort to with the lapband:mellow:I know it says 99 in the mornings so...... It was still dissappointing though. We are going to turn the Christmas lights on tonight and have a bbq, but the next couple of weeks while school finishs up is just pack ed with play's, carol nites, nativity nite (please supply beard) presentaion nite ( please supply pirate custume???) dance concerts and birthdays, plus i have to remember the dog needs her christmas shave and hopefully fit mine in too.:thumbup: So back on liquids for a couple of days now so that should definatley put it under 100 all the time. Off to shop for guinea pigs and drop b1 and b2 at school. Have a great day Cheers Chooky:thumbup:
Chooky

Chooky

3
 

Twinkle Twinkle

:wink2:Well that's the xmas decorating done and the lights on and it's funny to see my 4 year olds face at the tree getting lit up, she thinks it's just the ducks nuts to see all that twinkle twinkle, I just think, thankgod that job is outta the way now I can start on the dish'es. We even made some Santa Button biscuits and due to yesterday's fill and the band in general there will be still biscuits tomorrow. Met a friend for coffee who has'nt seen me for about 30kg and even though it killed her say it she said you just look normal ( thanks to very big knickers and scaffolding for a bra) and that was the best compliment I have ever heard, also because her battle of the fridge and drive thru mirrors my own and we have been on every diet together. Got a text tonite telling me she has rejoined wieght watcher's again. I am so glad I dont have to go through that shit again, like I said before no more mind game's.. Dont get me wrong there are still alot that go on in my head bbut the band has really put paid to 90% of them, you just don't have a chioce when it comes to pigging out after wiegh in anymore because you have a week to get rid of it :eek:That is my biggest gift from the band easy calmness off the head and no constant obession with food anymore.:drool::biggrin: Cheers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

3
 

Fill week

:laugh:Why is the week leading up to the fill the hardest????? Of course I know why, but it's a hard few days to get through. Really I find myself smelling bakeries and bbq's that last week never bothered me and I can feel myself picking at things that last week I wouldn't of touched. So I really struggle with the last couple of day's. Any idea's guy's to help combat this???? Cheers Chooky:thumbup:
Chooky

Chooky

3
 

dark days

O.K I have not posted for some time now and have to say I hope this helps as it has done in the past for me. Oh god i need some help right now. Am really struggling with a lot of things going on in my life at the moment and my one truest and oldest friend of all has come knocking, actually both of them have. Depression and my bestest buddy in the whole wide world FOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD. What is wrong with me???? This moodsettles over me like a big dark cloud and nothing shakes it,well something must cos it comes and goes but this time it's bad. I have a fill tomorrow but for what???? Igotto goaldid the ttuck, got the cthes holiday and all the other stuff but the peace withmyself??? no. I dont thinkI ever will, my head is just whirringall the time, non stop and it is exhausting. I actually feel like ihave absolutly nothing, nothing at all worth doing at the moment, work , kids house nothing, would just like to stay inbed and wait this out insteadof carrying on outwardly while falling apart slowly inwardly, Is it the best bit or the worst bit that nobody even knows??? The thought of work, school run,footy, dancing getting up is exhaustingand i dont think i can keep this up, i would love a few days by myself i thinkjust to get through the next few days of this and then i'll beright agian, Sposed to be going to a concert saturday night but its caouple of hours drive there and then back again, soo I am sposed to start work early sat arrange baby sitters got to work sunday, act as if i am married to hubsand of the year and go but the thought of it all is horrendous all i can think of is icould be inbed. Just go to bed cause another huge row over what is sposed to bea thoughtful gift but in reality is dreaded, and 2 hours in the car there and then back and work and I cant do it. I really just want all the responsibility taken away for a couple of days and all i want is the bed and to sleep. chooky
Chooky

Chooky

3
 

up & down

Today is bad bad day. Everything is up and down, the mood the scales the food.......:thumbup:I guess this is one of those days i used to have pre banding, you know the days, it all just gets to you. I have eaten a heap of crap today too. YYYYYYYY did I do this??????? Help>>>>>>> I am just not in the mood for anything.. Exercise can take a big jump for itself today, It is slipper day here. This will pass I know .. but for now it really sucks:crying: No Cheers today Chooky:frown:
Chooky

Chooky

3
 

Stuck

Ok...... I am stuck on a plateau both on the scales and in my head.:unsure:So far I have lost just over 20kg nad old clothes are fitting and people have noticed that I've lost wieght. I have been going to curves and walking but last week I just started to get a bit over it all:tt2: Does anyone think that plateau's are a way of maintaining along the way? I think that I am having this week off from curves and do some other stuff that doesn't make me want to poke my eyes out:biggrin:Focus on some other stuff and see what happens because this lapband was beginning to overtake everything else and the numbers were the most important thing. So this next week I have decided to live a little and see what happens. Cheers Chooky :thumbup::confused::thumbup:
Chooky

Chooky

3
 

Gym

:thumbup:I went to the gym after all that whinging about it, only really put in half the effort i ususally would but I s'pose its better than no effort at all today. I was putting off getting out of the car and actually going in the door at the gym by cleaning out my bag and purse, I found a drivers license with a photo from a few years ago on it and all I can say is I was really shocked by the id photo. Was I really that fat? :smile2: why didn't somebody tell me?????:thumbup: I mean I knew I was that fat but.......I must of been really close to 300lbs and so miserable looking, probably 299.9lbs. :cursing: It was looking at a picture of someone else, yet really puzzled because you know them. How or why I did that to myself I will never understand so now I will look forward and not back. So what if yesterday was a bad day, this morning I didn't give up like I would of done before at around the 3 month mark on a diet so I will focus on that positive and get through today, it may not be a fully yahoo pumped up daybut it sure as s**#t not the day that license id photo was taken. Cheers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

2
 

Sunny Days

:cursing:Thank goodness the sun has come out..... I think the constant rain must contribute to the low day's, but today warm and sunny.... so is the mood:smile: Back to curves today and finally got around to getting the smart card thingy, but after my workout the computer said I had only burned 350 calories which has really made me look at everything going in my gob today. So I've cleaned the windows but.... Now I'm just confused. I really thought it would burn more than that for some reason, especially since I am a sweaty wobbly mess by the time I have finished the circuit. Grandma's birthday tomorrow and the kids want to make her a fudge cake!!! *#!^* :cursing: Will I end up swimming around in the mixing bowl singing "memories?" or should I just let Foghorn help the kid's?? He will definatley fight the kids for the mixers (this is a grown man who will sulk if he doesn't get a beater or the bowl). I hope his tongue gets jammed in them.:cursing: So because it has been a warm day I thought I would look at last year's board shorts collection that is laying in the wardrobe. This stuff fit me last summer:eek: Now I cant get some of it past my knee's!! What have I done to myself again is all I can think and why, at least now with the band that cycle is over with because I couldn't do it again, it's just to exhausting. Fat' Thin & Fat again. So it's 10 weeks ish to the great family holiday in the sun and I'm praying for the board shorts to fit and to be able to move in the dam things.:cursing: Cheers Chooky:biggrin:
Chooky

Chooky

2
 

Still GGRRRR

:cool2::cursing:Y Y Y Y am I still so GGRRRRR???????? HELP. The caffine has not fixed it, (I Know it makes it worse). Just biting everybodies heads off and needing to lay down on the floor and go to sleep, like that is gunna happen with 2 kids. Suggestions welcome........ You know what would help A BBBBIIIIGGGGGG juicy steak and mushroom sauce and fries and sour cream and grease and chocolate and all the yummy yummy yummy stuff.:laugh: Right I am off to yell at someone or something.... Cheers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

2
 

Itchy Feet

Well its fudge cake day today, so far I am surviving it, but there are only so many cups of coffee I can drink, especially since everyone else is saying "Well a little bit won't hurt". But everyone here know's just how much alittle bit can and will hurt:frown: The other thing is I normally go to the gym in the mornings and hadn't really noticed how I get into a routine and now that I am not there it is really bugging me. Took me longer to get ready today as well because I couldn't just chuck on the gym gear actually had to make a bit of an effort. Maybe I should take some of the cake to the gym and hang it in front of me like they do in the cartoons.:cursing: I feel now after nine weeks I;m really beginning to get a grip on the food I can and can't eat and if in doubt vow to try it out in the privacy of my own home not in the middle of a packed out restuarant, as this can lead to a hasty exit to the ladies room.:cursing: I'm wondering about alcohol these day's and do you end up drunk quicker? Because generally if I drink I eat lots and it's a good night out because it used to happen so rarely. But now because now there is no food too soak it up I think I will end up on my ear a lot quicker than ususal, so this is something I am going to have to watch out for . Cheers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

2
 

Exhuasted

:cursing:EXHAUSTED..... No I haven't been slogging it out at the gym or running a marathon, it's pathetic really.... I was doing the afternoon kids sports run around. Finally they are ironed and put away for the night, so I'm hiding from the washing and the dish's hoping the faries will magically do it for me:biggrin: It's alright I'm not that delusional yet. Big question and I would love some feedback on htis one:thumbup: Party at a Chinese saturday night!!! What will I eat???? It will be the ususal chopsticks at dawn over the plum duck and don't get in the way over the prawn toasts or you could lose an eye out there:crying: But what about me? No way am I going to food bullied into trying this stuff, cos I can just imagine how that will end:drool: so I am thinking soup of somesort... But how to make it last as long as everybody else??? any idea's??? HELP Cheeers Chooky
Chooky

Chooky

2
 

Happiness is natural

IS IT??????? Well the past few day's have made me slowly come to belive that it is.:huh2::smile2::tt1::smile2: Pre band I was a very different person to who I am now or perhaps to who I am becomming. NO not becomming, revealing to the world I guess. I was always stressed out, tired grumpy for the littlest things and always thinking of food or guilty over some food or worrying about something I was to fat for or to go to or even just do with the kids. In short I was plain miserable, and only just realised it. Now that I don't have the choice to pig out, the decision having been made by a band, my head has time for all this other stuff. I'm enjoying time with the kids and gardening and am comfortable in my own company. A much calmer person lives here now and it's because I don't have all this hate for myself and love of food that I can't control. My life no longer revolves around food and I understand the saying, "Eat to live not live to eat" as I am not cosummed by the need to constantly look for the next fix or solve the next issue that arise's with it. At the moment my day's are HAPPY:smile2: and I am not so naive as to think thats that then, I know there are rough ones lurking ahead:crying: but I am finding new ways to get through them which doesn't include the help of Cadburys or KFC. Happiness is natural and I am finding it all around in the most unexpected place's, one of which is not the fridge. Cheers Chooky:smile2:
Chooky

Chooky

2
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