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I'm pissed at my doc@

OMG! I decided to call my doc and ask if there was anything I could do. While over the weekend, I was really good, but I ate real food. I freaking gained 5 lbs!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that? Anyway, the nurse said, this is her exact wording, "You need the just have some self control! We won't do a fill before a month anyway!" She gave no ideas, no help at all!!!!!:cursing::thumbup:   I feel so dejected! This is how every diet went for me. I lose and lose and feel great, then one day I screw up and it's hard to go back. That's the end!   I have been sooooooo good! I got more than I needed of my water in, I had grits for breakfast, my 2 shakes, soup for lunch and then chicken and rice for dinner. :ohmy:   We bathed all 12 puppies today. It was a line up, I washed and the kids each took puppies to dry. It was so funny to see who liked the water and who hated it. We took Iluq and swam with him today! It was so funny. He jumped and screamed at first then after awhile he would just come in on his own. So cute! :w00t:
knrpick

knrpick

4
 

First fill

Well, I just gotmy first fill! What a relief. I have only lost 6 lbs since surgery 4 wks ago! No pain at all, just him pushing to find my port. He only put 2 cc of fluids in. Saw the dietitian and I'm now on solid foods. I can have 2 oz protein, 1 oz of veggies or starch and 1 oz of fruit. So I'm on 1/2 c per meal. I pray this works!!!!   Love to all!
knrpick

knrpick

3
 

I lost i lost i lost!

I THINK you guys were right, it was water weight! I woke up this morning and lost 4 lbs! :yikes: I guess I didn't do too bad. I definatly didn't eat 3500 caleries. I'm still kinda pissed at the nurse, but what do you expect from the beampole! They can't think fat!   ARB and I were talking today. I find it really interesting what different docs call "mushies". Our mushies, we both go to the same doc, is actually soft foods. We can have deli meat, tuna, soft and moist chicken, veggies that are super soft. I find this stage is much easier because we have lots of choices. I hate the no choices like the pre-diet.   I've been doing a lot of soul searching after this weekend. (that's all I've thought about)I have lived most of my life on bad choices. This weekend, I did eat too much, but they were good choices, for the most part. I have also learned that I need to listen to my body, that is the hardest part! I've never done this before. This isn't like a diet that you screw up and your done! I'm making my life better along with my family. I want to see my kids when they get old. I want to see my grandkids, when they come.   Thanks to friends, I think, no I know I can do it!:hurray: There are people on here who are mean and cruel, but for the most part every person I've met here are amazing and funny.   The funniest thing I've heard is from Stacy. She said one day that her brother rubbed ehr belly. I was like shit your a budda! She laughed and said maybe she should not have the surgery and charge for people to rub her belly for goodluck! LMAO! It's great attitudes like this that I need!   I'm changing my life!!!!!!:smilielol5:
knrpick

knrpick

1
 

VENTING--- so don't read unless you mind me bitching!

I'm so furious with my husband! i love him so much, he's just so infuriating! I have wanted a palm pre so bad! He said that when I had enough cash I could have one! I have $300 in cash from puppies and he said no! I sound like a kid I know, but I'm freaking furious! We fight all the time about breeding the huskies. I'm so tired of it! I think I'm going to sell both my females and all the puppies so we just have our min. pom and call it good! Having puppies, which has been a life long dream.... isn't worth having when all me and Kevin do it fight fight fight!:cursing:   I just want to buy SOMETHING without having to ask! I know we are trying to get out of debt! I understand that we have over $80,000 of student loans to pay off. I understand that we have a budget! But this is exactly why I wanted to breed huskies, so I could have the cash to do with what I want. Granted, they cost money too, kennel, male dog, food, vet....on and on! We will make over $3800 on all our 11 puppies. You would think he could spare $300 for a phone! He said puppy money was mine. Then he renegs when I want something. He figures all that money will go back into account for all I have spent on dogs. I just want to scream, shout, and bitch, bitch, bitch:cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing:   I want my own life at times! I want somethings for me! Why do I have to put my family first ALL the time!???????? I'm tired of being an adult! I love my family and tomorrow i will feel different, but right now i just want to scream and vent! :cursing::cursing::cursing:   Oh, side note..... I've lost 2 more lbs!:tongue:
knrpick

knrpick

6
 

More puppies sold!

I know you all are sick and tired of hearing about my puppies, but right now, they are my life. If I could just sell the little buggers, life would be much easier!   Yesterday we went to the Farmers market to try to sell the pups. No such luck. We then we to St. Roberts where we have seen people sell pups before and we had a ton of people come by. The cops then came and shooed us away because we don't have a vendors liscense. Soooooo, we wasted an entire day for nothing.   Today though, I had 1 girl come pick up her pup and another girl call and she 's picking up her pup tomorrow. I then had another lady call who wants one of my white huskies..... so life is looking up!!!!! I just have 3 more to sell!   Food........... well now there's a story, well a non story! I eat, I'm hungry and I'm praying faithfully to find my sweet spot on Thursday when i get my 2nd fill! I hope He's listening!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to get full on small amounts! I hear horror stories on here that people won't lose weight in a year! Give me a break, seriously! I will freaking slit my wrists if that happens! $12,500 for surgery and I won't lose weight!!!! I'm going to get pissed if I don't start soon. I have lost in 2 wks. Still stuck and the 272-271 number!   love to all!
knrpick

knrpick

2
 

My bandiversary!!!!!!!!

One week ago today I did something that changed my life! I have had my ups and downs, ins and thank goodness outs, but I'm so thrilled I did it. It's a dream come true to lose 17 lbs in 3 wks. 2 wks of liquids and 1 after surgery.   Yes, I can sleep on my sides, and it's a dream come true!   I'm sooooo bad, so don't tell anyone, but I celebrated my bandiversary by eating an egg. Yup! I did it and no I don't regret it!   My healing is going great! My only site that hurts in my port site. And I think it still hurts because my pants are right on that stupid incision! My only problem now, is like yesterday I sat up at the movie theater, Harry Potter of course, and when I scrunch down it feels like I'm bending my belly in half, so I had to switch positions a lot! Oh well, prices to pay to see a great movie!   Oh, poop alert! Yup, I pooped again! Kinda weird to look forward to pooping. Feel like I'm potty training my kids again. I came out of the bath room and raised my hands up and said to everyone, "Congratulate me, I freaking pooped!" My 2 teenagers were rolling on the ground, thank goodness no friends were over, and my 2 little ones just rolled their eyes! I even texted Kevin, my Sweetheart, and told him. He was so proud! :thumbup:   I sold another puppy tonight. My goodness can't believe how fast I'm selling them and i haven't even started advertising them yet. This one was only 3 wks old, so they will have to come back, but they were thrilled! I think I attached a picture of him. Guess we will wait and see!   Sleep well, one and all!
knrpick

knrpick

3
 

What a fabulous weekend!

Yesterday, Saturday, we, my husband and I, drove down to Texas to come see a new puppy that I want. It was an 8 hr drive. We had so much fun talking, listening to music and just dream talking. I love going for drives with him, I have his undevided attention.   This morning, we went and saw my sweetheart! OMG is he absolutly beautiful. He's silver and white with bi-eyes. He is totally the love of my life! We left him with her and since we have never been to Texas before and we were so close to Dallas, we decided to spend the day there. We went to the Dallas World Aquarium. It was so amazing! We even got to meet Nigel what's his butt from animal planet. He's from australia. Anyway, we had lunch in the same place and my husband got his picture taken with him. The aquarium was amazing. We spent 4 hrs there!   Tomorrow we are going to pick up my baby and head home.   Food has been a problem. I have tried to be good. I have eaten protein first, but the portions are bad. I have no restriction, so I can eat anything. I will be glad to get a fill ASAP! Guess we will find out tomorrow what the damage is! :thumbup::confused:   I miss talking to everyone! It will be good to get home and back to normal, but the time away with hubby was priceless!   Oh, another yucky topic. Ok, so I have been pooping, not as much, but still. Anyway, it's almost like my poop is acid. My butt burns even after i wipe, then my butt hurts all day till I bathe and soak my butt. Don't know what to do about it. Gross I know, but you all should know by now that pooping and farting are one of my favorite topics!   love to all!!!
knrpick

knrpick

3
 

Here goes nothing!

Today is my first day of my blog. There are a lot of feelings going on right now. I feel good that I have lost 11 lbs on this protein diet thing and my surgery is Monday the 13th. I hate the constant thought of food, food, food. :biggrin:   We have 2 female siberian huskies who had pups 1 wk apart. No, it wasn't planned! My re/white husky just killed another of Spirits pups last night. I'm so depressed and over-whelmed and don't know what to do. Poor Spirit is still looking for her pup! I have Sasha shut away with her pups in the garage, so I pray nothing else happens.   I know this 10 day pre diet is worth it, but I'm so tired of worrying about what my family is eating, or can I cook for them. I did make one nice meal for them and spent the entire dinner torturing myself by sitting with them as a family. I finally got up, took my shake upstairs and watched tv in my room. I didn't want to smell or look at the food. Since then, I have make them do their own dinners, which I feel horrible over!!!! My kids are 15, 14, 9, 8 so they still need their mommy!
knrpick

knrpick

5
 

Day 4..... getting better

Wow, I woke up today and felt great! Gas is still there, but I'm walking straighter. I got up and had some grits. I then walked 15 min on the treadmill. Not like normal, I usually walk a mile in 18 min. I walked 1/2 mile in 15 min. 2 miles per hour. Ouch! Guess I still have a ways to go, but atleast I walked! Tried doing the elliptical, nope, not yet. Too much movement in the arms, hurts my stomach.   I'm so glad I see a difference every day! I think I have actually lost all my water weight from surgery, too! Now we will wait and see how my hunger does for today!:smile2:   It's evening now and I did a stupid thing. I had chicken, very moist, and only a couple bites and mashed potatoes. No nothing hurt, but talking to you all, I've learned my lesson and let my body heal.   I have found a savior food!!!! sugar free fudgecycles! OMG I think I will live!!!!!   I drove for the first time today, didn't remember how much ab muscles you use when you drive.   OVER ALL, I feel great today. Now, like my c-sections, I need to remember not to do too much too soon. I just want life to get back to normal and I want to take care of my family not the other way around.   Thanks for everyones posts on the site, it helped me a lot today when I screwed up!
knrpick

knrpick

1
 

Calm after the storm!

I spent half the day talking, well texting, to Kevin while at work. He finally conceeded and we got a baby girl puppy. This weekend, we will get a male! We are going to sell our black and white female.   He agreed to try breeding one more time with puppies this time. Ha no not breeding till they are older. Puppies are just a lot of work! That's why we have been getting older huskies.   My weight is the same today. I did nothing most of the day. I woke up feeling under the weather, so I have THE best kids and the older ones watched the babies till noon! :cursing:   We decided to pay the 2 older kids 10% of puppy sales and the babies 5% of the sales because they help and this will give insentive to keep helping.   Stacy had surgery today! I look forward to hearing from her. Rhonda had her bandiversary today! Thank goodness she is alive and well. I was worried about her all wk. I THANK GOD I felt better than that! Sorry Rhonda!:cursing:   Have a good night everyone!   Oh wait! Found a new food!!!! Panera Bread FF Black Bean soup! Yummmmmmoooooooo!
knrpick

knrpick

2
 

Day 6---- I FINALLY GOT ALL MY WATER IN!

Wow, 2 days in a row are monumental! Here's my strategy for the day and it worked.   Breakfast: 8 AM- grits watered down with milk and splenda....mmmmmmmm   drink 16.9 oz of water in 2 hours   10 AM Protein Shake   drink 16.9 oz of water   Noon: Lunch 4 oz cup of SF pudding   drink 16.9 oz of water   I was so full of water I didn't have my shake till 3 PM   5 PM: dinner-- tomato soup with milk YUM!   drink 16.9 oz of water---I had Crystal light this time.   At 7:30 is when I always get my munchies, old habits die hard! Well I found my new Savior food! SF FUDGECYCLES! uh huh, yup. I eat atleast 3 a day!:tt1::thumbup:   Anyway, that's my schedule, and it actually worked! I'm going to try that every day. I'm not shaky like I was last night because I got all my water in. I also ordered Unjure? is that right? Anyway, you guys told me to add the unflavored into stuff so i get more protein in. So I'm looking forward to getting those samples:thumbup:
knrpick

knrpick

3
 

Day 5....... I freaking pooped!

Yup, I went there! I am proud to say that 5 days post op I pooped! I never felt so much relief in my life!   Last night I was drinking my soup, and I got up and passed out! I'm so pissed at myself! I felt kinda crummy all day, so I spent the day in bed. I didn't drink or eat much yesterday, so that's why.   I am having such a hard time figuring out if I'm full. I know that sounds so weird, but I drink my 4 oz and I can't tell if I'm full or not. Have I stretched out my pouch? What if I did something wrong when I ate that dreaded chicken? :smile2:   I don't know if what I'm doing is right!!!!!
knrpick

knrpick

5
 

I lost i lost i lost!

I THINK you guys were right, it was water weight! I woke up this morning and lost 4 lbs! :yikes: I guess I didn't do too bad. I definatly didn't eat 3500 caleries. I'm still kinda pissed at the nurse, but what do you expect from the beampole! They can't think fat!   ARB and I were talking today. I find it really interesting what different docs call "mushies". Our mushies, we both go to the same doc, is actually soft foods. We can have deli meat, tuna, soft and moist chicken, veggies that are super soft. I find this stage is much easier because we have lots of choices. I hate the no choices like the pre-diet.   I've been doing a lot of soul searching after this weekend. (that's all I've thought about)I have lived most of my life on bad choices. This weekend, I did eat too much, but they were good choices, for the most part. I have also learned that I need to listen to my body, that is the hardest part! I've never done this before. This isn't like a diet that you screw up and your done! I'm making my life better along with my family. I want to see my kids when they get old. I want to see my grandkids, when they come.   Thanks to friends, I think, no I know I can do it!:hurray: There are people on here who are mean and cruel, but for the most part every person I've met here are amazing and funny.   The funniest thing I've heard is from Stacy. She said one day that her brother rubbed ehr belly. I was like shit your a budda! She laughed and said maybe she should not have the surgery and charge for people to rub her belly for goodluck! LMAO! It's great attitudes like this that I need!   I'm changing my life!!!!!!:smilielol5:
knrpick

knrpick

1
 

I can't believe it's tomorrow!

I don't know if I will be able to sleep tonight. I have to be there at 7:15, but we have to leave at 5:30 to get there on time.   I have been on clear liquids all day today and I can't stand watching food commercials! I'm STARVING!!!!!!!!   The biggest thing I'm scared about is food! Can I know when I'm full? Can I stop eating when I am full? Can I actually lose weight AND keep it off? I have failed at every diet I've ever been on because i reverted back to bad habits. Will I revert? I want so desperately to succeed at this. I'm self pay and $12,500 is a butt load to come out on my own. I don't want to dissapoint my kids or worse, my husband!:cursing:   Wish me luck! I will post ASAP!   Thanks also for everyones comments!
knrpick

knrpick

3
 

Day 7---- hmmmm nothing special happened

Wow, today is Sunday, well Monday but I'm posting for yesterday. Today I had to go to church, so I wore a bra allllll day! My incisions are high, one is under my breast. Bras hurt like HELLLLL! I finally came and and threw that puppy OFF! I am free and happy!   I got in all my water, and food and protein. Ummmm......weird but I have no funny anicdotes. It was just a good day. My gas is coming out constantly. My son is jealous! I can fart louder than he can! I'm so proud! I think what has helped is we have 2 female siberian huskies who both gave birth a week apart. I am up and down with them all day. Pups are worth it because they are freaking hillarious, but I definatly get my exercise in. .   Happy farting one and all!:tt1::thumbup:
knrpick

knrpick

3
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