It's finally happened, after waiting for years to see Dr. B and my July orientation, I received the call for surgery today at 12:42 pm. Amazing! So, the big date is December 8th first thing in the morning!
It's just two weeks away! I don't even have time to be afraid! On Wednesday I have my preadmission tests and I will know if its a go!
I worry that I have gained weight! I had lost hope in October. Cross your fingers for me!
Yesterday I joined six other ladies on my journey to a new life, and I must say I am both happy and scared about the choice to have surgery. I worry that because I am not jumping up and down, feeling like I have won the lottery is a really bad way to start. Am I afraid? I have failed so many times before, will I fail again?
When I had a heart attack last May I woke up with a clear goal - loose the weight and live to see my daughter grow up. I jumped right on the bandwagon and started Simply for Life the day I was released. Three months and 30 lbs. later I fell off the diet and never tried again.
Where is that go getter, I can do it attitude? Is it hidden amongst all the past failures at weight loss? Is it fear of disappointing everyone? How do I kick it?
Well, I took step number one, I gave up diet pop yesterday. I have gone two full days without a drink of it, and thats the first time in 12 years (during my pregnancy).
Please God, give me the will to face myself. Give me the strength to try and succeed.