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You can't hide when you're four wide!

Anyone who understands racing and the World of Outlaws will know what that means. For those of you that aren't race fans, or don't get it (which is ok. racing isn't everyones cup of tea). The World of Outlaws is a dirt track phenomenon. Here's how they work.....you take a car that has 800 horsepower, weighing 1800 pounds (with the diver in it and full of fuel), turn it loose on a 1/2 - 1 mile dirt oval and watch them go about 130 mph and turn left! WAY COOL! :rolleyes2: So that's where I spent my evening last night. With two of my favorite gentlemen, my daddy and my brother. It was great. So much dirt flying my skin felt gritty when the race was over. :rolleyes2: That's an excellent night at the races right there. On the Banding front, still holding steady at the 20 pounds lost. I'm on the mushies right now. I feel restriction with some things, others I don't. Pureed refried beans give me a lot of resriction, while other things like mashed potatoes or grits don't give me hardly any. I called the doctors office about that, they said that the fiber in the beans makes them more restrictive. Which makes perfect sense. I'm enjoying it though. When I was at the doctor for my checkup on Monday they set me up for the July fill clinic, which is the 20th. I'm going to start a work out regimen on Monday. Just some resistance band training and maybe some pilates. Not going back to boxing just yet. Although I wish I could. I loved it. Well, sorry for the long post, I guess that's all I have right now. Talk with you all later.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

To My Bandster Family

Thanx so much for all of your support everyone. Got home from the hospital yesterday afternoon, the three hour drive home was pretty rough. And to make it worse my hubby was driving and traffic makes him really nervous, and then he gets angry. We live in a smaller town so he doesn't deal with traffic much or very well, must be a guy thing. :thumbup: Everyone said I did great and looked great after surgery. The doc said I was a rock star. :tt1: That made me feel nice. The only thing I've come across that I don't like is my pain meds aren't working. So I called the doc and he called something else for me and my hubby is going to be that up when he gets off work. Unfortunately, my mom isn't doing near as well. They wanted to keep her in the hospital one more night cuz her blood pressure dropped really low. Apparently it always happens when she has surgery. And they had to physcially cut her open cuz she has so much scar tissue on her belly. She's had two c sections and a hysterectomy. (sp) So she was doing pretty crappy. Didn't get up and walk till right before we left yesterday. Well, that's all I have for today, just wanted to let you all know how I was doing. Thanx again for all of your support, you all are awesome and I love you all. *hugs* Talk to you all soon.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Three Days Post Op

So here I am three days post op and still going strong. My stomach is a little upset today, but other than that I'm doing fine. Discovered something today........I don't like the taste of coffee much anymore. :eek: This is such an oddity because I've lived on it for the last few years while trying to get through school. Don't know if it's the meds or just the fact that it tastes different. A lot of people have said things taste much different after surgery. You can't eat stuff you used to be able to, and eat stuff you never would have dreampt of eating before. :tt1: Kinda confusing if you ask me. Everying else is going great though. Hubby and I got our anniversay present to ourselves today. A new LCD TV (32") from Offide Depot. Which is where hubby works. So we got the sale price of 299.00, pluse our 20% discount on top of that. Might have to breakdown and get cable now. :thumbup: See if I can talk the hubby into that. We'll see. Well, I suppose that's all for today. Talk to you all soon.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Taking My First Steps

I'm finally able to start working out now that the physical therapist and my back doctor have released me to be able to work out. This is a good thing. I took my "first steps" as a bander yesterday.   Hubby asked me where I went and when I told him he said it was about a mile and half. And it actually felt good. Really really good. :blushing: Please excuse me whilst I toot my own horn and pat myself on the back. :biggrin:   Moving on from that. I went to the doctor about my voice since it still seems to be on vacation and the doc told me that I have severe allergies. :thumbup: What? I've actually never had allergies in my life. I was raised in Wyoming where it's actually too cold for allergies to flair up. This is even in the summer. Now I live in Missouri, and holy crap. I seriously thought I was actually coming down with some real affliction. Guess not. On the upside, weighed in at the doctors office at 212! Yay me! I go get another fill on September 21st and I'm hoping to be in Onederland by that time. Hence my first steps yesterday.   Well bandsters, it's time for me to go now. Need to get started on some homework for the day. At least try to do something productive with my day. Hope this finds you all well.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Recipe: Salmon Burgers

I just had this for dinner and thought it warranted another post. They were awesome. And, I cooked them myself. Salmon Burgers 1 14.5 oz can of chicken of the sea salmon 1 tablespoon dehydrated onion 1 tablespoon parsley 2 teaspoons lemon juice 3 tablespoons mayonaise 1/4 teaspoon garlic salt 2 eggs, beaten 1/2 cup bread crumbs (optional) spoon salmon mixture into patties on a sprayed cookie sheet. Bake for 20 minutes at 375. You can also fry them, I didn't, I liked baked fish better. I also didn't use the bread crumbs. If any of you try it, let me know how you liked it. Mine made four, medium sized patties. Enjoy all.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Playing the "Weighting" Game

Sitting in the waiting room waiting to go in for surgery. It's supposed to be at 11:00. My mom goes in at 10:00. I'm super excited. My husband and I brought our car and I drove up here and it POURED DOWN RAIN! Driving in the rain makes me terribly nervous. :thumbup: I've been in a few wrecks involving really bad snow and rain. So it doesn't bode well for me to drive in it. Hubby would have if he would have known where we were going. Interesting morning already to say the least. So we get the hospital and check in and now I'm waiting. They said to be here at 8:00, and it's a little after 8:30 now. I am so terribly thirsty. Everything sounds great right now. lol Hubby is next to me drinking coffee. Well, I guess that's all I have for now. The next time I talk to you all I'll be a bandster. Thank you all so much for the support you've given me on this site over the last few weeks. You're really like my little bandster family. Talk to you all later. Hope you all have a great day. :mad2:

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

One Week Out Today

One week ago today I was banded. As a matter of fact, I was getting up to my room about right now. Went to the grocery store today and got all of my stuff for my week two diet. The only thing I forgot was the baby food. Oh well. Stocked up on apple sauce, cottage cheese, and I got some stuff to make a few pureed things. Ventured out on my own today. Grocery store and got my nails done. Now I have to decide what to eat tonight since this is the first night of my second week. CHOICES CHOICES! Also got a food scale. Trying to avoid the overeating we all do. I want to be the first one that doesn't overeat and puke the first time I get real food. Got two inspirational things today. Two rings. One says "love live" on the outside and "be brave" on the inside. The other one says "the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step". Seems to fit where I am in my life right now. Still amazed at how much my life revolved around food before. Got my hubby's dinner while I was out. Two hungry man tv dinners. And I used to be able to eat the same! In one sitting! Kind of embarrassed to admit that actually. Never have claimed to be a wilting flower. Anything a man can do I can do better. And I mean anything. Well I'm very tired after all that running around today. Going to rest a while. Talk to you all soon.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

On to Bigger and Better Things

QUIT MY TOTALLY SHITTY JOB YESTERDAY FOR A CAREER CHOICE!!! :party: Life is good. Man I hated that place. I was to the point that when I left at 3:30, if that place went up on flames at 3:31, I totally wouldn't care. It's hard to work for people that don't care about you. However, I do have another job lined up. Thankfully, in this ecomony no one can afford to be without employment. I'll be working at the regional office for American Family Insurance. Their regional office happens to be in the town where I live so that's great. Wroking in the fraud department. Starting out filing, but the great part is that I'm actually going to school to study insurance fraud. So hopefully I will have a place to stay after I graduate. So, as the title implys, I'm off to bigger and better things my bandster family. I can't wait. Start the new job on the 9th. So I have a week of decompression before I have to go back to work. It was amazing to wake up today knowing I didn't have to go to a job I hated. So back to bed I went and slept till noon. Felt good thought I gotta say. Well, that's all I have for now. Talk to you all later and hope this finds you all doing well.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Odd Pains

I know this is my second post today, but I just feel like posting again I guess. Hope you all don't mind. Experiencing some odd pains today. When I take a deep breath it hurts on my left side right under my rib cage (where I'm pretty sure my band is). I called the doc and spoke to the nurse, she said it's totally normal. Especially since I'm still less than a week out. Tomorrow will be one week. She said that it could be anything from gas to the body wondering what the heck this foreign object is that it needs to get used to. Which I'm sure is quite true. It's not a constant pain so I know it's not something that warrants an emergency three hour drive to the doc. Thank goodness, that would suck. Also I was drinking a glass of milk a little bit ago and got a really sharp pain in my chest. No PB's or sliming, just a sharp pain. Maybe from drinking too fast. I was wanting to know if some of you guys that are reading this and have been banded have experienced some of these things shortly after your banding or not. I'd appreciate all the input I can get. Even though I trust the doctors office with all that I have and most of them have either been banded or had gastric, I want to see what some of you guys feel about it. Please reply and let me know. I'll be checking back tonight before I go to bed (whenever that will be, took a rather long nap today) to see what kind of input I got. Hope you all had a good day.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Nutrition Class and Pre Op Today

Went to the doctors office for all of my pre-op and nutrition classes today. That was super fun, and will also save me time on Monday when I have surgery so all I have to do is check in. My last day of work was Wednesday, so I'm officially on vacation till after surgery, supposed to be cleared to return to work on the 26th. Not near as excited for that as I am for the surgery. :mad2: But how many of us really are? The only thing I found out in pre-op today that bothered me (this is going to sound girly, but bear with me) I had to take off my long acrylic nails for surgery. I've had these since I was 13 and I'm 29 now, so you can imagine how this made me feel. :thumbup: Since my fingernails don't grow on their own I've had acrylic overlays on them so they would grow. Explained to the doc they were my nails, but she said I have to take them off because they can't read stuff right with them on there. However, SMALL SMALL PRICE TO PAY! I'm so excited I almost can't stand it. :lol::lol::lol: I bet I don't sleep a wink before Monday. Hope this finds you all well. Enjoy life and I'll talk to you all soon.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Minor Setback

Well, remember my last post? I guess I'm waiting longer than I thought I was going to be. The doctor got stranded due to the rain because it closed the highway due to flooding. :mad2: So now I just don't know what I'm going to do. They rescheduled my surgery for tomorrow, but it's supposed to rain then too. I'm very distraught about all this. They said when I called the hospital when I got the hotel that he had to turn around and go home and the highway is still closed. They said they guarantee he'd be there tomorrow. We'll see I guess.:thumbup:

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Lazy Day

Today was certainly nothing major to write about. I did figure out however that I can't eat boiled eggs anymore. I made egg salad in my magic bullet for dinner and there were a couple hard boiled eggs left over. I gave one to hubby and was going to eat one myself. Figured it would give me a good shot of protein. I took a bite out of it and that's the closest I've come to throwing up food since I've been banded. Needless to say hubby ate that one too. Thankfully I haven't experience any PB's or sliming yet. I'm doing everything in my power to avoid that. I also have been really listening to my band and I can tell when I'm full. When it's time for me to the "stretch" that's when I'm done. We've all done the stretch. Before I was banded I would always feel full then stretch just so I can get that extra few bites in. Now I stop at the stretch. So far it's working pretty good for me. The cookbook is coming along ok I guess. Still slow but sure. My mom is on vacation for the next three weeks and I'm hoping to have it done when she comes home. We'll be able to eat about anything we want by then anyway. Hopefully it'll be our "first fill present", the cookbook. Well, that's all I've got for tonight. Talk to you all later.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

I'm Moving

Just a heads up for everyone, I'm following BG's lead and moving to blogspot. Here's the link: www.dirttrackdiva.blogspot.com My family members and friends that know I've had surgery weren't able to see these posts since they aren't members of the site. So I thought I'd make it available for everyone to see. There are some posts on there that aren't totally related to surgery, but it's my new home. Hope you all follow me there. I'll leave the light on for you. :biggrin:

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

I'm a bandster!

So, it's official. :confused: Out of surgery and doing well. In a little pain and my shoulders hurt a little, which is all common. Getting ready to "eat" dinner. Sugar free jello, coffee and grape juice. I feel great! The doctor just left and he said I look great too. Not a terrible amount of pain, but a fair amount. My doctor and this hospital are awesome. Talk with you all soon. Just wanted to give you an update that surgery went great and I was out and about. Gotta get up and walk here a few hours. Have a great day everyone.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Heavy Jeans

Good evening bandster family. Hope you're all doing well and progressing on your journey.   Today I wore a pair of jeans that were TIGHT :eek2::yikes::eek2::yikes::eek2:(I was looking for a smilie that couldn't breathe due to wearing clothes so tight, but couldn't find one) when I bought them. The only reason I bought them when I did actually was because my boss was having a holy fit :incazzato:cuz I was wearing yoga type pants all the time. Well I'm fat, what does she expect? lol   Today I put these beautiful jeans on fresh from the dryer (still warm fresh from the dryer) and they almost fell off. :party: After ya'll leave the party at BG's house, come on over to mine cuz I'm wearing my heavy jeans today. :smilielol5: Meaning they are so big and falling off me so much they feel heavy. Literally feel heavy. They aren't even tight when I sit down. :hurray: This is an absolute miracle!   Last time I weighed I was down 28 pounds from when I first started my liquid diet on the 1st of June. This is so cool.   Well all, as I said, party at my house. Wear your heavy jeans. Hubby's making homemade salisbury steak. All of us together I'm sure could eat what I would have before.   Night all. Talk to you soon.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Having a Really Bad Day

OK everyone, I'm needing some input here. Throw everything at me you've got. Are we allowed to eat more than half a cup of food before we get our first fill? I ask this because my hubby says that I'm doing this wrong. Because he FINALLY read the book of nutrition guidlines I was given in nutrition class almost a freaking month ago. I was banded on the 16th of this month and I've lost 25 pounds, so he says to me "think of how much more you would have lost if you were doing this right". Because the book says only half a cup of food. Now I'm not gorging myself. Not getting Thanksgiving full at every meal, but I know I'm eating more than half a cup. Since I was banded just a couple weeks ago, I haven't had a fill yet. Went a little overboard on the 4th, but didn't throw up. I'm eatin off of saucers. Usually a protein and a dairy at every meal. I can't eat vegetables till next week. Let me know all. I'll be checking back later tonight to see what you all said. Be honest, be brutal, be what you want. I need to know the truth and I'm asking for it. I feel like a complete and udder failure. I need to know what's going on and what I should be doing. Hope to hear from you all soon.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Getting Banded Tomorrow

Well, tomorrow is the day. I absolutley can't wait. The suspense is killing me. So today I have to get all of my stuff together. I was trying to clean my house before I had to do leave so I wouldn't come home to a messy house, but that didn't go near as well as planned. :thumbup: Oh well, things happen I guess. However, I can already tell a difference in myself. Physically and psychologically. I've really noticed how my life really revolved around food before. I'm the person my house in charge of most things so I do a lot of the running around town and paying bills and stuff. I never realized how much that meant stopping and getting something to eat. All the time. :mad2: It's actually a little embarrassing. So as I sit here about 24 hours away from surgery I'm ready. To not be fat anymore, to get healthy so I can have a baby, for my back not to hurt so maybe I won't have to have back surgery in the near future, and most of all to be happy with what I see in the mirror every day. Wish me luck all and I'll keep you posted. I'll be taking my laptop to the hospital with me, don't go many places without it and before I can get up and walk I'll let you all know how it went. Talk to you all after I'm a bandster.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

First Fill

Got my first fill today. Wasn't near as ugly as I thought it would be. There was also someone there to hold my hand though. That always seems to help. AND I'VE LOST 28 POUNDS! Party, party, party. In a little over a month, 28 pounds down. I can't believe it. And that's without working out. Because I tried a couple of times and it hurt, so the doctor told me not to do it if it hurt. Then I just never went back to doing it. I know, bad Erika. :thumbup: Things at worki are getting much better. I've received a little more power to do what I wasn't allowed to do before. At least now if I get in trouble for not doing something, it is actually for something I was supposed to do to begin with. That usually makes a difference. Well, that's all I have. Talk to you all later. Good luck to you all.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Family Reunion Today

Today was my annual family reunion. Daddy's side of the family. We all get together the last Sunday of June every year and just talk about the past. Eat lots of food (except me this year) and watch the kids play at the park and swim. It's always a good chance to see people that I don't usually see and talk to them about how my life is going. This years crowd was very very small. I can remember when I was kid it was HUGE! So many people. We've sadly lost a few of course, but it was still really small, even putting that aside. My mom went up yesterday and told certain people about the surgery and they were excited for us. At least my mom told me they were. To heck with them if they weren't. This is my life and my health anyway, not theirs. One of my cousins told me that I was looking really good and she's glad I was taking care of myself. In other news, things are going really well. I enjoyed spending that time. Got a little sun and hopefully won't blister. I don't take to the sun very well. Just a thing I have. That's why I hope when I have babies they'll get their hispanic daddy's skintone so they tan instead of burn. I went out with my hubby and his dad last night to get fireworks, always a good time. As you remember from previous entries, 4th of July and Halloween are big events in our lives. You gotta live for something I guess. We don't party anymore and lately I don't even have food, so I've got to have something. :cool: Well, I guess that's all there is for today. Didn't get to eat of the always excellent fair at the family reunion, brought baby food, but it didn't do much for me, so I'm going to have some baked potato soup. Talk to you all later.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Egg Drop Soup Today

So.....I tried egg drop soup today, homemade even, hubby made it for me. And it actually went really well. Ate about half a cup of it and was full! :thumbup: Now this is not only a feat in and of itself, but chinese food? Half a cup of chinese food and I'm full?!?! (PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!) Never ever happened before in my whole life! I'm also right now spening the days building a cookbook for me and mom from various websites of bariatric friendly recipes and other things we can eat. Everything from snacks, meals, desserts and even holiday dishes. Now, since I'm getting all of this off the internet, some of you are probably wondering why my mom isn't getting them for herself. Well, there are a couple of answers to that question: 1) she's my mama and I love her, so I'm doing it for both of us, and we'll both benefit, and 2) she's not very computer savvy. She can turn it on, play games, check her email, and that's about it. God love her. I hope to have the cookbook finished by the time I go back to work. That's the plan anyway. But we all know how plans turn out sometimes don't we? :thumbup: Well, I guess that's all I have for now. Just mainly wanted to let you all know that I had my first resemblance of "solid" food today and it felt and went down great. Love you all my bandster family. Talk to you soon.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Egg Drop Soup Recipe

By popular demand here is my hubby's home made egg drop soup recipe. Egg Drop Soup 8 cups of water 7 chicken boullion cubes 6 jumbo size eggs pepper to taste We like a lot of eggs in our soup so if you don't like as many, just don't put as many in. It's really good though. You can also use white pepper, but we had the regular laying around so we used it. There you go everyone. Glad it got such a good response, I'll have to tell hubby his soup was a hit when he's done mowing the yard. On another note. Ventured out for the first time since surgery today. It was nice. Wore a pre banded pair of jeans and they were really loose. Super happy about that. Still working on my cookbook and that's about all I'm doing today. Go back to work Saturday so I'm just enjoying the time off. Talk with you all soon.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Discovering Food Websites

Today has been an interesting day. I'm now four days post op and the gas pains have finally started to subside a little. Still hurts like the dickens if I get the hiccups though. On the upside.......wait for it......FIREWORKS SEASON IS UPON US, THE STORES OPENED TODAY! :party: Fourth of July and Halloween are huge around my house. My family reunion is next weekend (the 28th) and I can't wait to go there skinnier than I was last year. That's way exciting. And next year I'll actually get to swim, maybe. Haven't been in a swimsuit since high school. You know, back before it looked like I was trying to shove ten pounds of crap in a three pound can. :yikes::thumbup: Gross and embarrassing. The coffee thing has subsided from yesterday. Thank goodness, can't go without that. My stomach was really upset yesterday I'm sure that had a lot to do with why the coffee tasted gross. So today all I've really done is look for food that I can't eat. :tt2: I know, DUH! :out: However, what I'm going to do is make a book of all the recipies that I like and that way it's easier for me and hubby to make them. I might even try my hand at cooking a few of them on my own. We'll see how that goes. I say that because I'm not a cook by any stretch of the imagination. I have literally burnt water before. And when I do try to make something, hubby looks at me like I'm going to run over a litter of kittens with a tank. :thumbup::bolt: Well I guess that's all I have for today. Discovered all the new smilies, as if you couldn't tell. Oh well, smilies are cool and liven up the posts. Hope this finds you all well and enjoying bandster life. Talk to you all soon.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Diet v. Lifesyle Choice

Just to give some of you guys a heads up about this one before you read it.......this might sound like a holier-than-thou soapbox speech, but it's not. If I come off that way I'm sorry, but realistically, this is my blog and where I put my thoughts, if you don't like it, there's the rest of the world wide web to explore, far be it for me to stop you. :rant:Ok. Now. With that being said let me express some of the things I think are different from a diet v. a lifestyle choice.   Diet /Lifestyle Choice 1. "cheat" days /no cheat days 2. I can have a little bread,it won't hurt me/ can't have bread get's stuck, ouch 3. I can eat a few carbs, it's no big deal/ NO CARBS     Those are just a few of the things I've discovered since I've been banded these last several months. (June 16th) I am not one of those people that can eat whatever I want and still lose weight. If I was I wouldn't need the band, right? :thumbdown: Duh, right. Anyway. Without sounding like a fanatic, I have to be VERY conscious about what I put in my body. High protein all the way for me. So usually if it doesn't go around on the ground on all fours, swim, or fly I can't eat it. Why is this so hard for some people to understand?! :confused: If I could eat that crap I wouldn't have gotten banded in the first damn place! :glare: WTF? I feel sometimes like people are trying to sabatoge me. Hopefully that isn't happening, but who knows. What I do know is this........I'm in this for the long haul (whether I'm in on my own is yet to be determined), and when I get all hot and skinny and everyone around me isn't, how good are their carbs going to look then? :frown: I wonder. I know what's good for me and what's not. Which takes me back to my subject line, the difference in a diet and lifestyle change. This is a LIFETIME thing. No cheat days, no wanting to eat stuff when I know damn well I can't. This is my life and if I have to go about this alone, dammit I'm going to. Yet to be determined how this is going to turn out.   :sad:I still love all of your my bandster family. My real family that doesn't know anything about/hasn't been banded can piss off right now as far as I'm concerned.   Sorry about the rant. But I warned ya. lol Have a great day banders.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Catching Up......

It's been quite some time since I've posted.   The last time I went to the doctor to get a checkup and a fill I found out I'd gained a pound. :confused: WHAT?!? How could this have happened? Well, after I'd bemoaned all day hubby comes to me and says "When are you supposed to start your period?" I said in a couple of days and asked him why. :biggrin: Realization...........:hurray:halleuja! Never been so happy to start my period in my life.   Everything else is pretty much the same. Right now I have no voice. Woke up this way Sunday morning. Now I sound like Minnie Mouse on crack. Nice. :laugh: Not a good thing when you talk on the phone for a living.   So now my net loss is down to 29 pounds. As many of you know, I'm a scale whore. I weigh every single day. In the last few days there have been days where I've gained 5 pounds, lost 6 and the next gained it all back. :laugh: What the holy hell is going on?!   I supposed that's all I have for right now. Hope this post finds you all keeping on keeping on. Talk with you all soon. Hugs to you all. My bandster family.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

 

Bad Food Day

I'm frustrated today. I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm eating too much. Which severly depresses me. I guess this is bandster hell. I've had my first fill. That was Monday and my doc asked me to come back in two weeks for another one. In hopes to get me to my sweet spot faster.   I'm still eating around my plate the right way. And usually I have solid protein for lunch. Tuna or a turkey burger something like that. The worst I do is a lunchable, but they're still good protein. I'm just frustrated like no end. I think I need a hug. :cursing: I just feel like crying. :cursing:   Dark chocolate is my weakness, one of my triggers big time. Today while I was at the gas station getting my coffee I found the ultimate. A dark chocolate snickers bar. What evil person thought of that. However, I only ate half of it and threw the other half in the garbage. I wanted the other half, but couldn't eat it. I guess that counts for something. Then for dinner I had a little bit of cheese tortelini my hubby made the other day and some fried rice. Not a lot of protein, I guess that's why I don't feel full. I'm satisfied, just not full.   I've discovered when I eat solid protein I get fuller faster. When I eat pud stuff like rice or pasta I don't get full at all. I get satisfied, but not full. And I know I didn't eat too much, hubby is really good at telling me when he thinks I'm eating too much. Which is good, that's what I want him to do.   I just don't know. As most of you know my folks refinanced their house for me to have this surgery (I didn't ask them to, once I found out that my insurance woudln't cover it, I gave up. They did it against my knowledge and didn't tell me till all the appointments were made.) But it raised their house payment so much they don't know if they're going to be able to make the payment. Not helping me from feeling very depressed and kind of out of sorts. My dad is an over the road truck driver and is working himself into an early grave trying to make this house payment. :cursing: I'm so sad for them. Maybe that's why I'm feeling this way.   On the upside, I've lost 28 pounds so far though and I had my surgery the 16th of June. That's not since surgery though that's since I started my liquid diet June 1st. I know I can do this and that it's going to work for me. It's my last chance to have a baby, it has to work for me or that ship sunk. I bought a new outfit the other day and wore it to work yesterday, everyone LOVED it! It's my "I just lost 30 pounds outfit". :cursing: That's pretty much been the highlight of the last few days.   Well I guess all I can do is go to bed and tomorrow is another day. Hope this finds you all feeling and doing well. I love you all, you're like family to me. My bandster family. Enjoy your day all. Talk to you soon.

dirttrackdiva

dirttrackdiva

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