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Yuck

:hail: Hale to the band!!!!:yield:I give, I give!!!! I guess that its true about what they say about the band having a mind of its own and how the band can change within the first 2 weeks of your fills...I have PB'd once a day for the last few days and it hasnt been pleasant...Its always been on a pinch of bread, taste of pizza or this morning a corner of a flower tortilla...I have learned my lesson about my band "Sybil" not liking any type of bread...And I hate that cuz my family has always been bread lovers...I have been good and just taking a pinch every once in a while and for some reason or another the last few times have just about killed me...I tried it the first time and got sick thinking maybe i ate too fast or didnt chew good enough so tried again...Second time thinking maybe it was the other thing that I didnt do the time before...Third time, I was just stupid..:faint:...Well, I am pretty sure that I have learned my lesson and am trying to move on...Its going to be hard since tonights menu holds chicken fajitas...lol Oh well, i still havent weighed in and am staying off the scales...I almost caved in this morning and jumped on those things, but i was thinking it wont be accurate anyways cuz its so far into the morning and already tried to eat breakfast and already pb's so I talked myself out of it thinking I would have negative results...So so far so good on the not weighing in thing...But the 27th wont get here soon enough...The 27th really holds no significance to me, just a date that I picked off the calendar then I picked every 5th week after that and wrote it down to weigh...Will just have to wait and see how it goes...There should be a good loss this time around because I have been doing every bit even more of my water, all my protein and working out every day (well, not today...its my 1 day off to r&r lol) but it should still be great cuz anything that i wasnt suppose to stick in my mouth lately has come back up anyways...lol...I just feel like I am doing good!! Cant really tell in the tummy that I have lost anything, most of my loss is in my butt and legs but I can deal with that for now I guess...Sooner or later the rest of me will catch up, after all they are attatched...lol:bored

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Yo Yo

I dont have a clue on what my weigh in is going to be this week:noidea:...I thought for sure that I would go down some, but with the heat and major headaches this week I guess I havent been up to par but I still have been working out and trying to eat right...Each morning when I weigh in it looks like I keep going back and forth on the same 2 pounds...Of course I officially weigh in on the scales at work for my accurate loss and wont be back there till Sunday...Took a few days off work to get my son started in school today:Banane51:, man it was a mad house with lots of little knee high people running around...Its hard to believe that my son was at anytime that small...But its his last year in elementary school and he feels like hes the king of the school this year...He has a wonderful attitude...Oh well back to the weight, I just feel like whatever happens this week will happen...My heart just isnt in it fully right now with time off from work and wanting to rest and relax during the day:bored...Even had cheese enchiladas for lunch today:faint2: and they were wonderful...Think I might skip on dinner or maybe just some veggies or yogart...Well, off to bed to nurse my head againnnn...It really suck dilly ucks to not feel good on vacation days away from the place that I thought was causing my headaches...Oh well!:sick   Oh, and while picking some of my smilies off the list it appears that a couple perverted or could be mistaken as perverted smilies have made it on the list towards the end...Kinda wish someone would take those off...

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Yep

Slowly but surely this band is actually doing its thing!!! I am still totally amazed at how full I get in just a few bites...I have learned over the last couple days that when I start to feel uncomfortable when I eat and feel like something is trying to get stuck to take a huge deep breath and hold it as long as possible and it really does help me...I have been doing my 30 minute workouts everyday except for today when I only got 20 cuz my son had a major life threatening problem with his playstation 2 that I just had to address right then, but thats ok!! It makes me so happy to step on that scale each morning now and see a little difference...I have been adding it up and if I keep going at this rate I should have around a 10 lbs loss for this month (I can certainly deal with that)...The only bad thing is that my uniform pants from work are just about to that stage where they are going to fall off me...Everytime I stand up I am yanking on the legs or the waist to make sure they stay up...Good thing is that we put in orders for new uniforms about 3 weeks ago and are just waiting on them to get to us...So from my 4x shirt I ordered a 3x (i still like big comfy shirts) then I went from a mens 50x34 to a 46x34...Of course we didnt have anyone measure us out for our sizes so I just had to guess...I hope that I did the right thing on the sizes or I am just out of luck for a while...Maybe in several more month and several more sizes down I will even be willing to tuck in my uniform shirt...I guess that would be a great NSV for me!!!

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Working Out Again

I decided 3 days ago that I was tired of waiting for the ob to release me to where I could workout again...I was tired and depressed of not losing anything and just sitting there and gaining and losing the same couple pounds...So I decided to go ahead and start working out again...So its been almost a month that I havent worked out so I had to start back from the beginning trying to get use to it again...The last 3 days I have been able to get thru my 25-30 minutes a day but its just about killing me...I will get use to it again and it will seem like nothing to me...Right now I am still use to the fact that I was able to just come home and lay down infront of the tv for the evening instead of making time to work out...Went right back to bad habits...So, I dont think that I have really lost anything but maybe a lb or 1.5 in the last few days that I seemed to have gained...But I will be happy to start back where I left off...Its all in getting my mind set again and building up my strength...But I have been feeling better about myself the last few days just knowing that I actually did work out...Thats about it for now...Atleast I am getting back on the right track again:clap2:

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Working Out

I finally started working out again since I am on vacation and trying to get back on track..I worked out Monday, Tuesday and Wend then rearranged a room in the house on Thursday (which I consider a workout) then worked out today...I am doing 30 minutes a day on my gazelle...I have been trying to eat right and paying close attention to my portions...Of course from my scale at home I really cant get an accurate reading on whats going on with my weight since its different from the one that I actually go by at work...So, until I go back to work on the 31st I guess its all going to be up in the air on how I am doing considering any loss...But I am going to keep on doing what I am doing and hope that its doing me right!! I will have an official weigh in on the 31st and hoping that I will be dancing around the room at work that day!!! Hopefully I wont be in tears!!! I want a total of atleast 53-55 lbs that day!!! Today is my 6 month banversary and I cant help but to be a little bit depressed about my loss, but I guess I should be exstatic about "lets say 49.5 lbs) in 6 months...Lets see, that breaks down to about 8.25 lbs a month...so I guess thats not really that bad...I was actually adding up on the calendar how much I actually lost each month and I dont believe that it feel under about 4 lbs a month when I was being kinda bad...This is alot more than I would have been losing without the band...If I look at it day by day or week by week I depress myself totally about it all, but in the long run if I look at the numbers I ought to be totally happy, so why cant I be happy??? I guess that is just something else that I need to think about and work on...Nothing seems to excite me or make me happy anymore...I would say it was just the holiday season giving me the blues but its been this way for a while now and I cant officially blame the season...I guess that I could do the antidepressants again, but they never seem to help any...I have been on many different kinds at many points in my life but everything just stays the same for me...I need to find some happiness

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Working on it!!

:funscale:Well I finally got off all the weight I had gained over the past weekend and now am back where I started from....Still working on getting past that point and hopefully can do it before I go in on Friday for my fill...I want to have a big change from my last drs appointment...I know I can do it, its just having the right frame of mind 24/7 and thats really hard...Yes I treat myself to something special atleast once a week and spend the most of the next week trying to get back to where I was, but atleast I know that I can do it...After my first fill on Friday I am expecting quite a bit of a change and hopefully can get over the hurdle and start losing more than I have been...I know I can do it, its just I dont have that extra umph right now

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Working It!!

All I can say today is that I am working it and its working me!!! About time!!! Still waiting for my first fill on the 4th, cant wait!! I sticking to my 4-5 ounces of good food...Every morning I have a protien drink for breakfast and have started only having 1/3 of a can of soup (no creamy soup of any kind) with a couple crackers crushed up in it...Then for dinner i only have meat and veggies (usually about 4 1/2 ounces but no more than 5)...There is no snacking in between anything and no sweet of any kind regardless...I have been getting in 64 or more ounces of water each day and last but not least doing my 30 minute workout every single day...I am trying to stick by the rules cuz if i slip a little i will end up slipping alot and i refuse to fail...Anything under 200 lbs and I will totally be happy and satisfied!!

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Working Hard

[/b]:emoticon(':ele')"]Ok, starting Monday I have really been working my butt off!!! I still have been doing my 30 minutes but I have been really working hard at picking up the pace and going alot faster than I had been before...I had a hard time at first but I am actually making it thru it without a problem now and am sweating up a storm!!! I really think that it will make a big difference...My legs are feeling crampy and noodly so I can really feel the change...Will weigh in on Friday and see what I have accomplished...I am crossing my fingers

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Worked Out

I just wanted it noted that I did work out on my gazzelle for 15 minutes today after all...It wasnt bad at all and I could have actually gone a little longer but I just didnt want to push it right now...I will gradually add some time to it and get it to where it needs to be, but for now I am totally happy with that...I was really good today...I had my 2 ounces of yogart for breakfast, a protien drink between breakfast and lunch, had 2 ounces of cottage cheese for lunch, then another protien drink...and the kicker for dinner, I had a slice of sliced turkey and a slice of swiss cheese wrapped together (I know I am suppose to still be on mushies but I just needed something that I could actually chew)...It was quite a bit under my 2 ounces and I still got full and stopped before I was done and my son finished what was left...I chewed very very long and very good...Over all I believe it was a very good day for me!!! Tomorrow will be my 1 week post op and I am hoping to be at a 13 lb loss...Come on "lucky" 13!!!     Lets Do This Thang!!

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Weigh In

Its coming off very very slow, but hey atleast its coming off!

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Weigh In

Ok, my official weigh in after the holidays and 2 weeks vacation of being at home and snacking is a total of 49 pounds...Which in the long run is great cuz that is only a half a pound gain over the holidays, but I was hoping to be a little over the 50 lb mark...But I am excited that I didnt gain more than I did...I started working out last week every day and that probably helped out alot...

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Weekly weigh in

Ok, for my weekly weigh in counting what I had gained last week puts me at a total of 2.5 lbs this week...Total of 27 lbs since surgery...I can deal with that for now!!

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Vacation Time

Its vacation time for me!!! Off work till December 31st...I am hoping to get back on track and start eating right and working out again while I am off...It will be my 6 mnth bandversary on the 22nd of this month and I was kinda hoping for alot more than what I have lost lately...I got really really close to 50 lbs then just totally ruined it myself..I dont have a clue why I keep sabataging myself...Its almost like mentally I am trying to just keep myself safe by staying at the weight that I am at...I just dont know whats going on...I really want to lose the weight, its just my mind it telling me something different lately and I dont like it at all...From today on, I am going to be back on track with eating right...No snacks, no sweats, no bread (regardless of how good the package says it is for you)...Lots more water and starting to work out again this afternoon after I get my son home from school..I want to go into the new year with an entirely new outlook on this thing and get the weight off...I wanted to be at goal by the end of the 1st year, but that would mean a total of about 18 lbs each month for the next 6 months and I have been doing good at just 2-5 a month lately...I want to get as close as I can, but its hard working out the right amount of food I am suppose to be eating without going into the starvation mode...Its all a balancing trick that I just havent gotten down yet...Oh well, I will work on it and see what I can do and go in for another fill in about another month and see it that helps me along my broken road

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Under the big 3..0..0

Well, today is going to be my last daily weigh in...The scales have been driving me crazy....During the night even when I get up to go to the restroom I have been hoping on the scale...Im totally hooked on them...From now on it will only be on Friday mornings, but its going to be hard to stay off of them...I am totally excited about my 13.5 lbs loss in the last 8 days...I have finally gotten under 300 lbs which I havent been able to do in a very very long time...And I am rather suprised due to getting a call yesterday evening to go to the hospital...One of my friends at works daughter (6 months old, Blayze is her name) suffocated during her nap...It was devistating to everyone...She worked so hard picking out the name Blayze, her daddy is a fireman from the city I work and her mommy is a fire/ems/police dispatcher with me...Firemen think they can just fix anything...When he found her he grabbed her and ran to his firestation that he is usually at to get help screaming that he couldnt save her on his own...Of course the hospital was packed with everyone from our police and fire dept for encouragment so bad that they moved us outside due to their not being enough room...I am hoping due to mommy having another precious daughter (2 years old) that will need her help and her mothering that she will get thru the worst part of this faster than those without another child...Its just like losing part of your own family as much as we are all together and having to rely on eachother...In the end the father came out crying and grabbing his partner when he rides the ambulance screaming that he couldnt save her...Its very sad and brings me to tears again even when I write it out...But anyways I had gotten home so late last night that I just grabbed a left over piece of pizza that the boys had ordered for dinner and didnt want to go overboard so I cut off the crust and measured out 2 ounces of pizza...It totally filled me up and I didnt care much about the drinking thing about drinking 30 min after I ate...I wanted to make sure it all went down so I drank quite a bit of water afterwards...But hey, I still lost and it didnt get stuck so Im excited...Now after my fill I dont believe I will be able to do that but for now its ok!!

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Todays Update

Well earlier today I mentioned that I was going to up my workout time from 30 minutes to 45 in hopes of it helping me out of this rut that I have been in this week...Well I actually dressed the part this time to get the right mind set...Usually I just throw on some short and slip on shoes and go after it watching the timer the entire time...Well this time I actually got out the sports bra, socks and tennis shoes and swore to not watch the timer at all...Guess what, at the end of 45 minutes I set the timer again for another 15 minutes...I made it with no problem at all...1 hour workout for me today...Of course I dont know how sore I will be tomorrow...I dont know if I will be able to keep up with the entire hour everyday but atleast I know for sure I can do the 45 minutes and after 45 the hour is no big deal, its just trying to make time for it and how tired I am after a work day...But I am going to try for sure and see how it goes..I am feeling pretty pumped up right now and excited about it...Tomorrow will be the tale tale sign if I can do it or not! An entire hour, COOL!!:clap2:

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Today Is The Day

Well, I can finally say that today is the day....I am just so excited that I cant seem to even think right today...Well, I guess thats not a good thing since I have to work half the day before going in...I went in for my preop yesterday and found out that they would not be doing any type of fill until 5-6 weeks after the surgery...I also found out that I would be having to stay the night at the hospital since mine is scheduled so late in the day...The reasoning is for the swollow testing that they perform afterwards...I got the final ppwk showing that I will be on only clear liquids for 3 days then I can move on to mushies for 5 weeks after that...Its all for the best since we want the tummy to completely heal properly before we attempt anything else...I woke up this morning and had 2 messages waiting on me...1/from the hospital wanting to do my pre admit ppwk 2/the anethesiologist wanting to touch base with me and let me know I could drink and eat till 8 am this morning (which is wonderful cuz the surgeon said after midnight?) Dont they know that people sleep evadentally...But I was excited that I could have something to drink anyways, didnt want to eat but did have a diet drink for breakfast...I was in shock yesterday cuz I have been celebrating all week and eating everything I possilby could, well I only gained 2.5 lbs so thats pretty good considering what all I shoved down my mouth this week...lol...Well, thats all for now...The next time I update I will be on the postop side (totally excited)

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Today

Well, today I didnt lose anything...I think that I went under my regular calorie count yesterday and messed up my bodys way of thought...So today I started counting my calories today to make sure that I got all of them in today...So far I am about 620 calories for today and still have dinner to go...I might end up having to have a little snack before dinner so that I can get a few extra calories...I just dont understand how my surgeon expects me to keep to about 1200 calories a day with just 3 small meals and no snacking...It just dont add up to me...Well, I have several girls at work on a diet now and they are doing a grapefruit diet along with a regular diet..So, its basically eating a grapefruit before each meal but if I were to do that I wouldnt be able to eat my meal...So they let me know that they had read that I could do the sugar free grapefruit juice or find some grapefruit pills to do before I ate my meals...So I will go out tomorrow and find me some sugar free grapefruit juice (if there is such a thing) and try it for several weeks and see how it does me...Something new to try and there is just telling if it will work or not but it never hurts to try

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The Next Day

I am kinda excited today...After adding a little more food yesterday to my meals i was actually able to lose 1 lb...Now we are talking!!! If that is what it takes for it to start coming off then I am willing to go ahead and start on my 4-5 ounces of good food per meal...I just wanted to jot it down in my journal that it actually worked...16.5 lbs for me, finally!!!:eek:

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The Count Down!!

:clap2: Here we are...Finally, 4 more days till surgery...I have been stocking up on things that I know that I will be needing over the next few weeks and all of a sudden appear to be a pack rat (which I swore I would never be)...But of course why buy the small batch of whey when you can buy the 5 lb batch and save money in the long run and while your at the store why not get the vanilla and the chocolate (cuz you have got to have a variety)...Then of course a couple packs of straws so you can sip sip sip...I am not even going to get started on the collection of broth that I have and still growing...I am just so excited about it all and want to be totally ready...I still need to get out today and get some chewable viatamins and some diet drinks and then I think I will be set for a while...I think that I am going to be on liquids for a couple weeks and want to be prepared...Lapband, here I come...Preop on the 21st and the big day on the 22nd!!! I CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!:scared:

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The Beggining

I started out with a regular visit to my family dr on April 14th asking what she thought about the lapband...She was very excited that I was interested in the procedure...At this time she said that she would refer me due to me having a great insurance plan (UHC)...By the first week of May I had the referal letter from my dr and contact the surgeon that she had refered me to (Dr Cribbins)...I called the surgeons office to make and appt and was told that I would need to attend a seminar before an appt with him and they just happened to have one that next week...I was very excited to sit thru the seminar on May 12th and listen to all of the different types of weight loss surgery...I was in and talking with the surgeon by May 16th and was told that I would more than likely be approved by the insurance company...With UHC you are only required to have a 40 bmi or over to be approved with no medical history needed...Well at this same appt I was given the name of a psychologist which is required by this surgeon before surgery:help: ...Ok, so...I get home and am able to make an appt with the psychologist for May 26th and it consisted basically of about 100 true/false questions of how many times you have thought of killing yourself and who all you wanted to take with you when you went within the last month or so and a short visit with the dr herself....:cry So on June 5th I got my approval from the insurance company to have the lapband done and have my bloodwork, ekg and xrays on June 9th and my preop appt with Dr Cribbins on June 21st and then my surgery is scheduled on June 22nd at Frisco Baylor:clap2: ...I am way too excited about the entire thing and just waiting to see all the results of not doing this:hungry: ..haha....Now its just waiting and anticipating!!!

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Thanksgiving leftovers

Well, I still have my few extra pounds from thanksgiving on me...I have been trying desperately to get them off but they just keep hanging around...I figured with this last fill that I would just be dropping weight, but I guess not...Right now its just driving me crazy...Since thanksgiving dinner I have really been trying to be good and do whats right, but we have the dreaded leftovers in the fridge...I have been trying to stick to the turkey, green bean cassarole and the pea salad that I had made...I thought I was making some good choices...Maybe it will just take a few more days for my body to get back together and figure out what its suppose to be doing...Dang holidays are the worst!!

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So I Was Bad

Ok, so I was bad yesterday...I wanted to try a new recipe for a cake that a lady had brought to work for everyone...And needless to say, it turned out great...I had a few pieces of it and will be very glad when its totally gone out of the house...I already gave a fair warning to the boys that it was about to be thrown out and to get their fill of it before the end of the day because everytime i walk by it I grab a fork and taste it...Its the root of all evil...I cant help that I just love to bake but from now on it needs to be something that I am going to take to work to get rid of and given as a gift...So I am not planning on a loss this week but instead am planning on a pound or 2 gain...I am not going to be too hard on myself cuz I have really been good since the beginning of this ride in June...People just have to treat themselves every once in a while or they will go nutz given the chance (which I have learned the hard way)...I am going to try to up my workout this week from 30 minutes to 45 if my legs and knees will hold out and we will see how it goes...I have heard that your body isnt even really losing anything until about about the 45 minute mark anyways...Of course I might not be able to walk for a couple weeks while I get adjusted cuz the 30 minutes alone just about kills me...But its time to get tough!!!!:angry

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smilies

[/b]:emoticon(':drama')"]:bump2::gossip::success1::boink::ban: :rockon::decision::whoo::Banane09::Banane57::drum::violin::cake::pizza::Banane45::love::Banane41::star::nono::huggie::usa::wow2::welcomeB: :hail::update::crutch::yield::drama::doh:

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selfishness

:think Now that the time is getting closer to my lapband surgery I am beginning to wonder if I am being selfish about putting my life at risk just so I can be healthy and happy...I am worried that something might happen to me during surgery and my family will be without me for reasons that could have been prevented...I know that the lapband is the least evasive surgery and for that reason is why I had picked it...I have gotten myself all depressed about it all last night when I found a memorial page for those that did not survive bariatric surgery, but most of the people that passed had the bypass or died while waiting for the approval from the insurance company:eek: ...I think that I have worked myself up over nothing but it still makes you think about what all you would be leaving it something goes wrong and it being my choice to have put me thru it...I am just in one of those moody moods while waiting for my time to get here next week...Anyone else ever go thru these same feelings before surgery??? Help guide me threw

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