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Christmas Vacation

Well, my Christmas vacation will be over on the 31st and I have got to really be honest with myself and expect about a 4-5 lb gain...Its been terrible being home with my son for the last week and a half with all the snack foods around and having to feed him all the time...I just havent been able to pass up the snacks...By Sunday tho when I finally get to go back to work and weigh in and see what damage I have done I am going to be back to eating right and trying to get my workout back into my schedule...I hate that I have done this to myself over the holidays but I guess that a little bit of a gain is expected by some...I just have no will power right now, but the eating holidays are over and its time to get back on track!! I have no excuse after Sunday!!!

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Chip or not to chip??

I did really good for breakfast...I had my 2 ounces of yogart and about an hour after that I had my 6 ounces of whey...I finally felt up to mowing the front yard this morning, I did the backyard the other day...I am kinda trying to break it all up so it dont overwhelm me all at once...Ok, so I was fixing my sons french bread pizza and doritos for lunch, yes I snagged 1 chip...Just 1 and it was just so good...I chewed it till it couldnt be chewed anymore...But the best thing is that I was satisfied with just the one...I know I am suppose to be on mushies, and I mushed it...I really dont believe that 1 chip will do me in and I firmly believe that a person does not have to do without ever having anything like that ever again, just in big time moderation...So, I made it thru the 1 chip and left the room while he ate the rest of his lunch and decided to color my hair while I waited for him to finish up...I work in a room full of skinny scrawny girls that live out of the vending machine and dont do anything in regards to working out and they just dont gain a pound...Makes me sick, wish I had a matabolism like theirs (maybe someday)...But I know that I can never live like I have in the past...I still havent gotten into working out yet, but have been doing alot of things around the house to try to supplement for that...Maybe in an hour or so I will attempt that dreadful gazzelle that keeps looking at me and laughing!!!!:guess

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Celebrating PreOp

Ok, I dont know if anyone else has done this before or not....So, I just thought that I would write it down...Here we go, open and honest....I have been "celebrating my surgery date and insurance approval"... Basically I have been eating everything and anything just to be able to have one last great full enjoyed meal of each one...I know that I am terrible:phanvan , but some of you know exactly what I am talking about....I know that I am big but I also know that I am doing something next week to change my life and i want to go out with a bang:faint: !!!! I have enjoyed the last week since I found out that I was approved, not having to count calories or starving myself but enough is enough...haha...I have noticed that I have gained about 5 lbs and my uniforms for work are getting a little uncomfortable, so thats it....No more going crazy, atleast not until the dinner the night before my surgery, that night I will be having shrimp linguini from red lobster (my all time favorite!!)....Its going to take alot of work and an entirely new mind set starting the day of the surgery...Its going to be a hard, terrible, wonderful, life chaning experience and I have been waiting on this moment for years....On June 22nd I will be starting with my weight loss journals and will be notating them aleast every month or so just so that I can look back at my long journey if I ever feel like falling off the wagon to remind myself on how hard the road has been to get to where I was and how much I never want to revisit where I am now...I will never return to where I am now as long as GOD and the LAPBAND are on my side....and damn the day that the later turns on me...haha..:Dancing_biggrin: :angry :faint: ....It wont happen!!!

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Called for another fill

Today I decided that I give up on the first fill and called and made an appointment for a 2nd...I have heard that there is quite a bit of a difference between the 1st and the 2nd...I just want to get to the point to where I am losing again and so far its not happening...Maybe the 2nd one will be that magic one that helps me along...Got my fingers crossed and going in on the 22nd, yipee! Of course I am going to have a hard time getting adjusted to the new fill cuz I am already pbing a couple times a week, bu all of that is my own fault for not chewing good enough or too fast...I need to learn to slow it down, its all a learning process!:cry

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Boohoo!!!

Ok, so this morning wasnt what I expected....I was expecting to lose another 2 lbs and be at a loss of 13 lbs by this morning for my 1 week anniversary, but alas I gained 1 lb...So here I am at 10 lb loss, I ought to celebrate that 10 lbs cuz without the bad I wouldnt have even lost that...But in hopes of having a good loss for tomorrow I pushed myself this morning and went all the way with my workout...Did my entire 30 minutes on the gazzelle, it wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be...And I am going to push push push that water today...I dont like having a gain, but I know they are expected every once in a while but that doesnt mean that I have to like them...Ok, so lets just see how my plan works for me when I weigh in tomorrow morning, hopefully I will be smiling!!

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Boo

Well, today I just feel down in the dumps and I dont know why...Just a bad attitude and everything...I have been sabataging my diet all day and eating things that I shouldnt, I guess comfort foods...I dont even think that I am going to work out today...I just want to go sit on the couch like a lump for a change and wolly in my own self pity...I havent felt like this in a long time...I made a dr appt today again for my continuous undying bleeding and cramping that is really bringing me down, but I cant get into the dr till Friday morning...I have been so good since the beginning of this journey I guess that a day or 2 to get back to myself wont totally kill me...So off to the couch I go with my pillow, just feel so depressed!!

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Bleeding

[/b]:emoticon(':door')"]Ok, starting from the day that i got home from surgery i started having my "cycle"...I never have my cycle due to being on the depo shot and havent had one in many years...Well at my follow up i was talking to the surgeon about it and he recommended a cbc test for my blood count and said that it was due to losing alot of weight so fast in the beginning and to do a follow up with my ob...Well i guess that scared it and it stopped...So i never felt the reason to go in for the cbc testing...Well low and behold it started again today so i scheduled an appt with my ob for next Thursday...I am hoping that he can do a miracle and make this dang thing stop :angry ..Due to it coming back again when i am at a stand still on my weight loss kinda does away with my surgeons excuse so maybe the ob will have something different to tell me!!

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Blah!

I am still trying to get back up to par...I have no energy for anything anymore...I feel terrible for not getting to my workouts this week, but I just cant do it...Maybe next week...Atleast I am back to work and getting in a little movement, but am only looking forward to getting home and maybe fitting in a little nap...I am still eating right and feel that I should be losing weight anyways no matter how slow, atleast its not a gain this time but there is no telling what Sundays weigh in might hold for me...If I had a rock near me right now I think that i would feel totally comfortable climbing under it in a fetal position for a while:sick....Its gotta come to an end sooner or later!!

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Blah

Its been one of those blah weeks...It seems that I just keep teetering on the same couple pounds...Its real upsetting cuz last month I did so good and now nothing...I have been trying to do what was right for me and work out most of the time but its just not working...Maybe my body is just taking a quick break and will shift into gear next month...I am going to keep on trying and maybe get over that hump that I am stuck on

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Bessing in disguise

Well, I guess that today was a blessing in disguise...I got to work for my first weigh in for 2 weeks after being off for vacations and the scale was out of batterys...Will try to get out today for some batterys and will try to weigh in tomorrow

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A Little Better

Well I can tell that I am feeling just a tad bit better now...My hunger is finally coming back yesterday and I think that I have gained about 1 1/2 lbs just yesterday alone...I guess that isnt bad considering I havent been working out for almost a week...I need to get back on the right track, but I will give it a couple more days since my strength still hasnt returned...But I am ready I think to move on past this point and was even considering calling next week for my second fill but we will have to see how that goes...I need to get to that sweet spot so I can get back on track

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6 month bandversary coming up

Well, my 6 month bandversary will be here on December 22nd...I was hoping to be at a goal of 250 by then...I seem to be a little stuck on 264...I dont forsee anyway to get rid of 14 lbs in 11 more days...I will have to work really hard to get even close to where I wanted to be by then...I will have to see what I can do by then...I am at 48.5 lbs and will be just totally excited to be at 50 lbs in the next week...With all of the holidays surrounding me I havent been having much luck on sticking to my diet and eating right...But come January 1st I am going to be going hard and strong...I was hoping so much to be at my goal by my 1 year bandiversary but thats 74 lbs in the next 6 months...I might have to make some new realistic goals and go for the 2 year mark just to keep my sanity

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5 Days Post Op

So far so good...I am on my second day of mushies...Its been going pretty good...I had 1 oz of egg beaters and 1 oz of apple sauce for breakfast...:hungry: I had a protien shake for lunch and another protien drink a couple hours before dinner...I dont want to take a risk of my hair starting to fall out...The hardest times that I have are still having to make full blown dinners for my husband and son...Tonight was chicken parmasean...I just measured out 1 1/2 oz of a chicken breast and put a couple little drops of sauce then in the food processor it went to shred...Then when it was done i put a couple shreds of motz cheese on top...I think it was one of the best things i ever tasted...I wouldnt have thought about it or even half way tried it a week ago, but you do what you gotta to do to half way still live a normal life for now ...I am kinda excited...5 days out and as of this morning I was 9 lbs down...Thats great for me and I cant say how great it feels to move that bar on the scale...I expect to be at 10 or 11 by morning (I hope)...I am totally addicted to the scale right now, I think its because its all so new to me...Eventually I will phase out of checking it everyday...The only problem that I am having is some chest pains, I think its because I drink too fast (Im a guzzeler)...I felt good enough today to get out and run a couple errands that needed to be done and got alot done, but then got lightheaded right before the last place I needed to stop...I just need to remember that I am still healing and try to take it easier for a few more days, but its hard for me...I figure the more that I am up actually doing things the more I might lose, thats what my head is telling me anyways...But I am planning on trying to get on my gazzelle for a little while in the morning and seeing how it treats me...I might have a different thought about that when I wake up since my sleep schedule has been so messed up this week...I need to get on a routine as soon as I get back to work on sunday for sure...Sooooooo, so far so good:clap2:

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4th fill

Ok, I just got back from getting my fourth fill...I am filled to 2.75 now...The dr said that I could not get another fill until after I had lost about another 30-40 lbs...Said that he had me as tight as I could go right now and that the opening was only about the size of a pencil lead...I asked about the green tea and if it could be counted as water intake and he said for sure that anything this is water based can count as water...I asked him if I was in the slow range for my weight loss right now and he said that I was actually right above normal...Said that normal for right now is about 45 and I am at 52...So I guess that I wont be going to see the dr for quite a long while...Another 30-40 lbs would put me about 80-90 lbs for a loss so that would be great...He said that my pouch was looking great and to not worry about my calorie intake as long as it stayed under 1000 a day...Said the more that I put into my body that the more that I had to work to burn it off...Also said that the "starvation mode" was a myth and to not worry about it...So, this was a different dr that I saw today and he had different things to say than my regular dr...I guess I can go ahead and try his ideas and see how they treat me...

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3rd fill

Ok, I went in and had my 3rd fill this morning...Now at a 2.5 in my 4 cc band...I actually saw my dr today and he did my fill, I havent seen him since my follow up after my surgery so it was nice to see him again...Well, at a 2.5 my barium went down very very slow and had to swollow several different times to get it to go down...But the dr says that i have lost 13 lbs since my last fill about 2 months ago and was totally happy with my loss...I guess that their expectations arent as high as the ones with the band...I thought that I was going really slow on my loss lately and had been at a stand still for several weeks without a loss of anything basically, but as long as he says I am doing great then I am not going to be all depressed about it...Well, I am on the thick liquids till Sunday morning and hopefully that will help jump start my loss...I just had a Dannon Light and Fit yogart and it went down really good and tasted great...I will have to see how the fill treats me after it has time to settle in

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2 MORE DAYS

Two more days to go...I just cant wait...There is just no telling what the future will hold for me after Thursday...I am seriously hoping that the lapband helps me and that I am not one of the statistics (that really worries me alot)!! I was one of the lucky ones with good insurance that approved me right off the bat for the surgery...It was very depressing at the seminar having everyone find out that they would have to diet for 1-2 years and maybe longer and be monitored by their doctors office before approval..I could feel the disappointment spread thru the room...Most people came in with the mindset that it was basically their choice if they had the surgery or not and not that they would have to go thru a rough road with the insurance company...It was very sad...I believe that only me and 2 other people in the room at the time ended up having UHC and were told that we only had to have a bmi of 40 or over to be automatically approved...I was very excited for me, but I could feel all of the depression around me like air being let out of a balloon or something...Yes, I am a lucky one but that doesnt mean that its going to work for me...There is going to be alot of work ahead of me for the next year or two (hopefully not the later)...My heart just sank watching all the expressions on the other people there tho.. I dont know why I had the seminar on the mind all of a sudden, it wasnt there when i started writing a few minutes ago!! Well, this is a chance for a new and healthy life and I am going to give it my best and hopefully will come out a winner and be on the "lost more than 100 lbs" with some of the others before long...

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2 Days After

Well I have had the band for 2 days now...I have had no serious problems what so ever...I keep having problems with a rumbling in my tummy like diahrea starting or is it my bottom tummy thats grumbling, im not really sure...My stomache was quite upset this evening...I havent gotten the hang of the broth I guess...I mean, am I suppose to be adding water to it, im not really sure (trial by error i guess) but I think I am suppose to be deluting it...Tomorrow my husband is going to get me out for a little while to the grocery store to get me some basic mushie foods like oatmeal and grits and yogart...Im still not hungry and have been doing great with my liquids since the beginning...I have finally gotten off the weight that I gained from the iv and swelling...Now, I start the real stuff...I cant wait for it to start to go down from this point...I can not tell you how great the pizza smelled that my husband and son had for dinner, but I wasnt tempted in the least, maybe I will have some for a treat in about 6 more weeks...We will see how it goes between now and then...You must treat yourself every once in a while or you will fall off that wagon...Well, thats it for today...I am on a new road from here on and everything and anything that I lose from now on will actually be me...Its all a learning experience

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.5 lbs away

I have been waiting and waiting to hit the 50 lbs mark on my loss...Today I got to .5 lbs away and ruined it by having 2 slices of pizza...Oh well, I will get here in the next couple days and I will be totally excited...Its really hard during the holidays to actually lose weight but thank goodness for the band or I would totally be gaining alot during this time...I have been averaging about .5-1 lbs a week so I guess that I ought to be happy with that because that mean eventually its all going to come off

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