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Put Off

Yet I have to wait again...Went for my follow up and the dr had to leave for an emergency while I was actually in the room waiting to see her...Going in again next Friday...So upset right now!!!:angry

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Called for another fill

Today I decided that I give up on the first fill and called and made an appointment for a 2nd...I have heard that there is quite a bit of a difference between the 1st and the 2nd...I just want to get to the point to where I am losing again and so far its not happening...Maybe the 2nd one will be that magic one that helps me along...Got my fingers crossed and going in on the 22nd, yipee! Of course I am going to have a hard time getting adjusted to the new fill cuz I am already pbing a couple times a week, bu all of that is my own fault for not chewing good enough or too fast...I need to learn to slow it down, its all a learning process!:cry

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Today Is The Day

Well, I can finally say that today is the day....I am just so excited that I cant seem to even think right today...Well, I guess thats not a good thing since I have to work half the day before going in...I went in for my preop yesterday and found out that they would not be doing any type of fill until 5-6 weeks after the surgery...I also found out that I would be having to stay the night at the hospital since mine is scheduled so late in the day...The reasoning is for the swollow testing that they perform afterwards...I got the final ppwk showing that I will be on only clear liquids for 3 days then I can move on to mushies for 5 weeks after that...Its all for the best since we want the tummy to completely heal properly before we attempt anything else...I woke up this morning and had 2 messages waiting on me...1/from the hospital wanting to do my pre admit ppwk 2/the anethesiologist wanting to touch base with me and let me know I could drink and eat till 8 am this morning (which is wonderful cuz the surgeon said after midnight?) Dont they know that people sleep evadentally...But I was excited that I could have something to drink anyways, didnt want to eat but did have a diet drink for breakfast...I was in shock yesterday cuz I have been celebrating all week and eating everything I possilby could, well I only gained 2.5 lbs so thats pretty good considering what all I shoved down my mouth this week...lol...Well, thats all for now...The next time I update I will be on the postop side (totally excited)

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GGRRRRR

Ok so I was terrible last night....I had 3 pieces of deep dish pizza:pizza:....It was wonderful, but afterwards I felt so guilty...:emoticon(':killit')"]...This waiting for my fill and not really having a real restricton is getting to me...I am sure that one day of falling off the wagon wont kill me...I did not see any difference on the scales this morning which I was expecting about a pound gain but I guess that I moved around enough yesterday working in the yard and mowing that it evened out...Oh well, 1 more week to go then I am sure that I will do great...After all, everyone is expected to have a fall back every once in a while but I feel like crying due to letting myself down...I went into the OB yesterday for my bleeding problem and had to have one of those sonograms with the long wand, that wasnt pleasant...Well, anyways my dr said that some bleeding is normal since I havent in such a very long time and that maybe it was just time for me to get cleaned out...Said that there is only a very thin lining left and that it should stop anytime on its own...Also said that the depo shot that I got yesterday might actually help stop it and that if it doesnt before long that he would put me on some estrogen patches...He was really kinda rude, like I was wasting his time for something like that...Well hello, I dont think that bleeding for over a month is actually wasting his time...I guess that my drs visit might be why I fell into the pizza, I always feel depressed and so violated going there and then for him to treat me like that just made it worse...Well, I am feeling a little bit better about it this morning but not by much so I only ate the toppings off of 3 pieces of left over pizza for breakfast (I said a little bit better, atleast I didnt eat the crust this time) lol[/b]:emoticon(':slap')"]...Tomorrow is a new day!!!(Thank GOD)[/b]

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Losing A Little

Well, I got my first fill on Friday...I have lost very little since...I just thought it would be a little faster, but I can wait...I started out on the day of my fill at 22.5 lbs lost and am now at 24.5 so I can deal with that...I am doing everything by the book...Measuring my food, making good choices, getting in all my water and protein and working out 30 minutes a day...My time will come and I am working hard to get there...Sometimes I feel like its trying to beat me, but I refuse to let it...So far so good, I cant feel much restriction from my fill really...Its nothing like some of the horror storys that some tell on here...The only difference is that I seem to get full a little quicker and have to stop eating, so thats good...A few pounds here and there is better than nothing and better than gaining for sure...I still havent broken the habit of jumping on the scale several times a day, but I am sure that will stop with time...My only problem is that while i am making dinner I might grab a taste of this and a taste of that while I am cooking then dont have much room for dinner, but I have to work at getting rid of that nasty habit cuz I really enjoy my family time during dinner...All good things come to those that wait!!

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ENOUGH CALORIES??? NOT SURE

MY DOCTOR WANTED ME AROUND 1200 CALORIES A DAY....WELL I AM ADDING UP MY NORMAL INTAKE NOW DAYS AND IT VARIES BETWEEN 680-880 A DAY AND THAT INCLUDES MY PROTEIN DRINKS...I DONT KNOW HOW I AM GOING TO BE ABLE TO ADD MORE CALORIES BECAUSE MY DOC SAID ABSOLUTELY NO SNACKS, NO PASTA, NO SUGARS...SO I AM GUESSING THAT I MIGHT HAVE TO GO AGAINST HIM AND ADD MAYBE A MID MORNING YOGART OR SOMETHING...I HAVE READ ALOT ABOUT PEOPLE GETTING TOO FEW CALORIES AND LOSING WEIGHT SLOW OR NOT AT ALL AND I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE THAT...I MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO ADD 1 MORE YOGART OR SOMETHING SMALL WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK BEFORE DINNER SO THAT I CAN GET IN A FEW MORE AND SEE HOW IT GOES...I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE STUCK AT A WEIGHT DUE TO YOUR BODY BEING IN THAT STARVATION MODE AND I DONT EVER WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN...SO MAYBE BY ADDING 2 YOGARTS A DAY (200 CALORIES) I CAN GET MY WEIGHT COMING OFF FASTER...GUESS IT WILL JUST HAVE TO BE SOMETHING THAT I PLAY WITH AND SEE IF IT WORKS...MIGHT GO AHEAD AND START THAT TODAY:confused:

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Worked Out

I just wanted it noted that I did work out on my gazzelle for 15 minutes today after all...It wasnt bad at all and I could have actually gone a little longer but I just didnt want to push it right now...I will gradually add some time to it and get it to where it needs to be, but for now I am totally happy with that...I was really good today...I had my 2 ounces of yogart for breakfast, a protien drink between breakfast and lunch, had 2 ounces of cottage cheese for lunch, then another protien drink...and the kicker for dinner, I had a slice of sliced turkey and a slice of swiss cheese wrapped together (I know I am suppose to still be on mushies but I just needed something that I could actually chew)...It was quite a bit under my 2 ounces and I still got full and stopped before I was done and my son finished what was left...I chewed very very long and very good...Over all I believe it was a very good day for me!!! Tomorrow will be my 1 week post op and I am hoping to be at a 13 lb loss...Come on "lucky" 13!!!     Lets Do This Thang!!

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Double Blah!!

Well I finally found out why I have been feeling so bad and run down...Well, first off I have been bleeding since June except for a couple days that I can basically count on my fingers...Well, the last 2 weeks have been terrible and very heavy...So Tuesday night it was so bad that I was feeling like I was going to pass out and could actually feel the color draining from my face...Yep, I ended up in the ER that night...After all of the testing and stuff that they did the only thing they could do for me was to put me on estrogen pills to try to get it to stop and told me to make a follow up appointment with my regular dr...So far everything is the same but I have my appt in the morning...Its not like I havent tried to get help before now with this problem...I talked to the surgeon at my 6 week app and he told me to follow up with my ob...So I followed up with my ob and he basically treated me like I was stupid and wasting his time...Then last week I finally was just totally fed up and made an appointment to see my regular dr which was originally scheduled for tomorrow...But I couldnt make it past Tuesday...So atleast I already had my appt made to see my dr tomorrow instead of having to wait another week before I could get in to see her...Well so far every dr I have consulted with including the er dr was a man, tomorrow will be a woman and I am hoping that she will have some type of understanding and knowledge to share

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Little by Little

Finally the scale has moved an inch...Not much but every little bit counts...And thats really strange cuz I had the bottom half of a cheeseburger last night but I did mow the front and back yard so I guess it evened out a little...My eyes got big this morning when I stepped up on that scale and it had moved...Next Friday is my second fill and I am more than ready

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6 month bandversary coming up

Well, my 6 month bandversary will be here on December 22nd...I was hoping to be at a goal of 250 by then...I seem to be a little stuck on 264...I dont forsee anyway to get rid of 14 lbs in 11 more days...I will have to work really hard to get even close to where I wanted to be by then...I will have to see what I can do by then...I am at 48.5 lbs and will be just totally excited to be at 50 lbs in the next week...With all of the holidays surrounding me I havent been having much luck on sticking to my diet and eating right...But come January 1st I am going to be going hard and strong...I was hoping so much to be at my goal by my 1 year bandiversary but thats 74 lbs in the next 6 months...I might have to make some new realistic goals and go for the 2 year mark just to keep my sanity

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5 Days Post Op

So far so good...I am on my second day of mushies...Its been going pretty good...I had 1 oz of egg beaters and 1 oz of apple sauce for breakfast...:hungry: I had a protien shake for lunch and another protien drink a couple hours before dinner...I dont want to take a risk of my hair starting to fall out...The hardest times that I have are still having to make full blown dinners for my husband and son...Tonight was chicken parmasean...I just measured out 1 1/2 oz of a chicken breast and put a couple little drops of sauce then in the food processor it went to shred...Then when it was done i put a couple shreds of motz cheese on top...I think it was one of the best things i ever tasted...I wouldnt have thought about it or even half way tried it a week ago, but you do what you gotta to do to half way still live a normal life for now ...I am kinda excited...5 days out and as of this morning I was 9 lbs down...Thats great for me and I cant say how great it feels to move that bar on the scale...I expect to be at 10 or 11 by morning (I hope)...I am totally addicted to the scale right now, I think its because its all so new to me...Eventually I will phase out of checking it everyday...The only problem that I am having is some chest pains, I think its because I drink too fast (Im a guzzeler)...I felt good enough today to get out and run a couple errands that needed to be done and got alot done, but then got lightheaded right before the last place I needed to stop...I just need to remember that I am still healing and try to take it easier for a few more days, but its hard for me...I figure the more that I am up actually doing things the more I might lose, thats what my head is telling me anyways...But I am planning on trying to get on my gazzelle for a little while in the morning and seeing how it treats me...I might have a different thought about that when I wake up since my sleep schedule has been so messed up this week...I need to get on a routine as soon as I get back to work on sunday for sure...Sooooooo, so far so good:clap2:

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Boohoo!!!

Ok, so this morning wasnt what I expected....I was expecting to lose another 2 lbs and be at a loss of 13 lbs by this morning for my 1 week anniversary, but alas I gained 1 lb...So here I am at 10 lb loss, I ought to celebrate that 10 lbs cuz without the bad I wouldnt have even lost that...But in hopes of having a good loss for tomorrow I pushed myself this morning and went all the way with my workout...Did my entire 30 minutes on the gazzelle, it wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be...And I am going to push push push that water today...I dont like having a gain, but I know they are expected every once in a while but that doesnt mean that I have to like them...Ok, so lets just see how my plan works for me when I weigh in tomorrow morning, hopefully I will be smiling!!

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smilies

[/b]:emoticon(':drama')"]:bump2::gossip::success1::boink::ban: :rockon::decision::whoo::Banane09::Banane57::drum::violin::cake::pizza::Banane45::love::Banane41::star::nono::huggie::usa::wow2::welcomeB: :hail::update::crutch::yield::drama::doh:

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Im Still Doing It

OK, per my scales I am at 22.5 lbs loss...I am just so excited...But I know that my drs scales are different so for a complete and correct weigh in I will have to wait till the 4th when I go to the Dr...But as long as mine are going down I know that I am losing and thats wonderful...The last few days its been coming off 2 lbs at a time and I hope that it continues to be this way for a long long time cuz I am just loving it...I know that it will slow down for a while for my body to catch up...But I saw my mother today and she said she could tell that I had lost quite a bit of weight and that made me absolutely smile too...I am going to continue with my 30 minute heavy duty work outs and see how it does me before I go in on the 4th...I am happy that I am not going to have to hang my head in shame or still be at the same weight as my last visit...I know that can be devestating...My mother actually has a friend at work that has lost quiet a bit of weight and she is going to be sending me some of her clothes, only down side is that they wont fit me yet but I have something to strive for...They are size 18/20 and I havent been in 18's since high school...With as tall as I am and as big as my bones are my mother says that I start to look sick and too skinny if I get to 16's, but I would like to wear a 16-18 (thats my goal)...I started out 2 years ago in 32's then lost almost 50 lbs on the southbeach diet then gained back a couple but never got near where I was...I can put on the 32's and wear them very very loose and they look like clown pants...So, when I got my lapband I was in 26 pants and 26/28 shirts bit I usually buy bigger shirts cuz I like them baggy to hang and cover my bootie...I am just blabbering on cuz I am excited

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I was right

I was right about the bleeding...I am down 1/2 pound today...Which is good cuz I kinda snacked a little last night...I have gotten to where I like to grab a spoon of peanutbutter a couple times a night for protein and when i get home i grabbed some mini rice cakes so I ate more than usual...I am going to be one of those dang turtle losers, but atleast its slowly coming off...I can wait

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One More Day

Just 1 more day till Christmas!!! Then no more sweet goodies around the house to nibble on for another year!!! I can finally get back to eating completely right and doing whats right for me and my band!!! But as for now, baking Santa cookies for tonight and planning dinner...I actually got out about an hour ago to the grocery store and oh man is it packed...There wasnt even walking room there today...As for tomorrow, I am tired of cooking and we are going out to a late lunch to a restraunt buffet with turkey and all the trimmings so everyone can have exactly what they want and no clean up for me to do at home!!!! Thank GOD!!

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Ok, so I was bad

I was able to get down to 26.5 lbs yesterday...then I went home and rearranged my livingroom furniture...I was to sore and tired after I was done so I didnt work out, I thought that would actually count as my work out...Then I had a kitkat candy bar...So guess what, I woke up this morning to an extra almost pound and a half...I am going to do my workout when I get home for sure today and see if I can get all that off...Kinda depressing, but thats ok...1 day out of as many as I have been good is fine...Everyone deserves a treat

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First Post Op Visit

Well, I had my first post op visit yesterday...They weighed me in and were very happy with my results, even tho I have been unhappy that it has been stuck...They told me that I should be just consentrating on healing right now cuz my body is in a "starvation period" where it thinks that its starving and storing extra fat cells...The nurse said to be happy and consider anything that I had lost as a bonus, but I am thinking what choice does my body have but to lose weight with me only eating 2 ounces of food a meal...Oh well, atleast they were happy...My appt was actually with the drs helper and I told her what had happened after my surgery and that it was still freaking me out and giving me nightmares...So she left the room and talked to the dr and she came back in saying that the dr wanted to see me and for me to wait for him...So I wait about 30 minutes for him to get finished with his regular paitence so that he can come see me...He reassured me that everything was normal and for me to make sure to tell the anethesiologist (if i ever have surgery again) that I have problems staying knocked out long enough...And that was basiclly it..He seemed genuinly concerned that I was upset about it tho and was really nice...So, I am scheduled for my first fill on August 4th...Then they said I could consentrate on me losing weight...They made sure to also tell me that I probably wont lose anything else until then and to take it easy...Im going to see what I can do between now and then to prove them wrong tho of course, cuz Im not happy just not losing after going thru what I had to to get to where I am...So, I will work work work on it, no promises tho

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Todays Update

Well earlier today I mentioned that I was going to up my workout time from 30 minutes to 45 in hopes of it helping me out of this rut that I have been in this week...Well I actually dressed the part this time to get the right mind set...Usually I just throw on some short and slip on shoes and go after it watching the timer the entire time...Well this time I actually got out the sports bra, socks and tennis shoes and swore to not watch the timer at all...Guess what, at the end of 45 minutes I set the timer again for another 15 minutes...I made it with no problem at all...1 hour workout for me today...Of course I dont know how sore I will be tomorrow...I dont know if I will be able to keep up with the entire hour everyday but atleast I know for sure I can do the 45 minutes and after 45 the hour is no big deal, its just trying to make time for it and how tired I am after a work day...But I am going to try for sure and see how it goes..I am feeling pretty pumped up right now and excited about it...Tomorrow will be the tale tale sign if I can do it or not! An entire hour, COOL!!:clap2:

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Gave Up

:sickI finally gave up...I have been feeling terrible for more than several days now, thought it was a summer cold...Well, I finally gave up and went to the after hours clinic this morning...After finding out that they dont use my insurance there cuz my dr is not in their "group" and 70 bucks later I find out that I have a URI and brochitis...I knew I wasnt feeling quite right and I should have taken a hint when I was having severe headaches in the beginning of the week...Really sucked cuz I have been on vacation since Wend to get my son started in school and sick basically since Thursday...Oh well, finally got some liquid antibiotics and some codiene cough meds to help me out...I missed my weekly weigh in today due to not going to work and wont officially weigh in till Tuesday since I will be off till then...Its going to be kinda scarey Tuesday cuz I havent had the strength to work out since Thursday but hopefully that will change once I get the antibiotics working full force...Well back off to bed...Well, I guess its a good thing too cuz I have lost my ambition to eat... Thank goodness that came after my wonderful dinner out last night!!

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Quit Complaining

I have decided that I am going to just stop complaining...I know that I am just in the beginning phase of this process and should be entirely happy with what I have lost so far...If the good Lord wants me to lose weight I will...And as long as I am doing what I am suppose to be doing then I shouldnt worry about it anymore...I am just going to sit back and try to enjoy the ride...Hopefully it all turns out the way that I want it, if not then so be it...I would rather live happy than being depressed over the band...So CHEERS...Here is to a new outlook on life!!!

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Just Waiting

I am just sitting back waiting for my weekly formal weigh in tomorrow morning...Of course my scales are different from the ones that I use at work in the breakroom, so I am not even going to speculate what it might be...I would be happy with anything around 2 pounds and extatic with anything over that...I knew that with the lapband the weight would be coming off slowly but I had no clue it would be this slow and this hard...I was even regreting getting the lapband earlier and thinking I should have gone for the more drastic surgerys then I visited the memorial page again for my sugeon and remembered why I had so much against it...I will just have to do my time and just remember its suppose to come off slow and healthy...Plus I really havent been that good this week but I cant always be good...But atleast when I do eat its bad its very very little...I have had a couple diet cherry vanilla dr peppers this week...Of course, no calories but I cant finish the entire can cuz it starts to feel terrible but it sure tastes good a little at a time...So, I am waiting for morning when I get to work to see what I have actually lost...Maybe even back to my 26.5 lbs I guess but I want more than that...I want another fill, but I need to wait atleast a month or so before I can ask my dr for that so I have the time behind me showing that Im not losing....So, long story short, I am hoping for more than 26.5 lbs and will update my journal in the morning right after my weigh in...Dang band is going to be the death of me!!

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Weigh In

Its coming off very very slow, but hey atleast its coming off!

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Made It Home

Well I finally made it home today...My surgery went well...The only problem that I had during the entire process was coming out of the anesthetic once they took the tube out of my throat...I remember starting to hyperventalate and them having to talk me down and put me on O2, but I guess they are use to having to deal with that...The hospital was wonderful, I could not have wished for a better group of people taking care of me...They had several reason to knock me out thru the night...I kept having to get up and go to the restroom and kept setting off all the alarms on my IV and my heart monitor...One good thing to keep in mind, if you lay on your side your blood pressure goes way down so they had to keep a close eye on it and retake it several times...But back to the nurses, they even brought my entire family dinner the night of surgery, it was wonderful stuffed pork chops (not anything like the normal hospital food) and pancakes and bacon for breakfast for my husband...He was wanting to check in for the weekend like a hotel since it was so nice...The room even had a seperate livingroom area with a seperate tv just for the family then one over by the bed for the patient, it was great since my husband keeps a late schedule on watching his tv shows...The ride home wasnt unbareable, but I was nauseous and light headed the entire trip...But now that I am home I am feeling alot better and up moving around some...Beware of the scale when you get home, the swelling adds pounds (Be Ready!!)...I have only had to have 1 does of pain meds since I got home this afternoon and didnt even take a full dose that time, but I am thinking before I go to bed I might take one so I can get thru the night...And its true, the port site is the worst but starting to have some upper back pain between the shoulders (im guessing from the gas)...Its really strange not being hungry...I havent had anything to eat since night before last for dinner...I have been very lucky and have had no problems what so ever with the liquids...They brough me apple juice, broth and jello for breakfast, but I wasnt really wanting anything but took a couple bites of each anyways to just try to get some of my strength back and it went down same as always...I will be on a clear diet for 3 day (till monday) then on mushies (only 2 ounces) for 5 weeks after that...I ought to lose quite a bit of weight during that transition (I hope) but then it will slow down when I move to my regular foods (4-5 ounces)....But I can do it, I know I can...As good as I feel right now it should only take a few days for me to almost be back to normal (I hope!!!) I am really excited...Got my follow up with my surgeon (blessed man) on July 5th and will see how everything is going and then hopefully a fill in 6-7 weeks..Just wanted to touch base with my journal while everything was still fresh in my mind (foggy but its there)...Im on the other side!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!

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Working on it!!

:funscale:Well I finally got off all the weight I had gained over the past weekend and now am back where I started from....Still working on getting past that point and hopefully can do it before I go in on Friday for my fill...I want to have a big change from my last drs appointment...I know I can do it, its just having the right frame of mind 24/7 and thats really hard...Yes I treat myself to something special atleast once a week and spend the most of the next week trying to get back to where I was, but atleast I know that I can do it...After my first fill on Friday I am expecting quite a bit of a change and hopefully can get over the hurdle and start losing more than I have been...I know I can do it, its just I dont have that extra umph right now

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