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Little by little

Little by little the weight is coming off...I lost about another 1/2 lbs today and I can deal with that...Yes its very discouraging when the weight is stuck at a certain point for a while, but I am comfortable knowing that it will start back up again soon or later...And I am happy with my choice to start weighing again too, it helps me stay on track
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I think Im Doing It

Well by the looks of it it looks as if I have lost about 2 1/2 lbs this week...I guess the extra work outs are paying off...I hate to give an exact total cuz my scales read different from the drs...But just as long as mine are going down I can tell that I am losing something....So I will update my loss after my appt on August 4th for my fill...Its always depressing if I figure out my loss at home then go to the dr and there is always like a 4-5 lb difference...But the scales are moving and I have never been happier...I have learned to not weigh in as soon as you get up in the morning, takes about an hour before you weight settles down so you can get a correct weigh in...But I am excited...As far as the bleeding its still there...yesterday it was even a dark brown(barely enough to see when you wipe), which usually means basically used blood from somewhere and then again today its back to a semi sorta red so I am a little concerned that i might have something else going on, but I have that appt with the ob on Thursday and will get it worked out one way or another...But on the weight, so far so good!!
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One More Day

Just 1 more day till Christmas!!! Then no more sweet goodies around the house to nibble on for another year!!! I can finally get back to eating completely right and doing whats right for me and my band!!! But as for now, baking Santa cookies for tonight and planning dinner...I actually got out about an hour ago to the grocery store and oh man is it packed...There wasnt even walking room there today...As for tomorrow, I am tired of cooking and we are going out to a late lunch to a restraunt buffet with turkey and all the trimmings so everyone can have exactly what they want and no clean up for me to do at home!!!! Thank GOD!!
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Little by Little

Finally the scale has moved an inch...Not much but every little bit counts...And thats really strange cuz I had the bottom half of a cheeseburger last night but I did mow the front and back yard so I guess it evened out a little...My eyes got big this morning when I stepped up on that scale and it had moved...Next Friday is my second fill and I am more than ready
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Thanksgiving leftovers

Well, I still have my few extra pounds from thanksgiving on me...I have been trying desperately to get them off but they just keep hanging around...I figured with this last fill that I would just be dropping weight, but I guess not...Right now its just driving me crazy...Since thanksgiving dinner I have really been trying to be good and do whats right, but we have the dreaded leftovers in the fridge...I have been trying to stick to the turkey, green bean cassarole and the pea salad that I had made...I thought I was making some good choices...Maybe it will just take a few more days for my body to get back together and figure out what its suppose to be doing...Dang holidays are the worst!!
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Ok, so I was bad

I was able to get down to 26.5 lbs yesterday...then I went home and rearranged my livingroom furniture...I was to sore and tired after I was done so I didnt work out, I thought that would actually count as my work out...Then I had a kitkat candy bar...So guess what, I woke up this morning to an extra almost pound and a half...I am going to do my workout when I get home for sure today and see if I can get all that off...Kinda depressing, but thats ok...1 day out of as many as I have been good is fine...Everyone deserves a treat
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Christmas Vacation

Well, my Christmas vacation will be over on the 31st and I have got to really be honest with myself and expect about a 4-5 lb gain...Its been terrible being home with my son for the last week and a half with all the snack foods around and having to feed him all the time...I just havent been able to pass up the snacks...By Sunday tho when I finally get to go back to work and weigh in and see what damage I have done I am going to be back to eating right and trying to get my workout back into my schedule...I hate that I have done this to myself over the holidays but I guess that a little bit of a gain is expected by some...I just have no will power right now, but the eating holidays are over and its time to get back on track!! I have no excuse after Sunday!!!
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Grapefruit Diet

Today is my 4th day on the grapefruit juice diet...Just drinking 8 ounces of grapefruit juice 30 minutes before each meal...I cant really tell any difference in my weight at all from my scale...But of course the official weigh in will be on Wend when I get back to work...But as of right now drinking the grapefruit juice just adds extra calories to my diet that I dont really want to add...I did finally get my little computer thing working on my gazelle and found out that I have been going about 1.25 miles a day in my 30 minute workout 6 days a week which adds up to 7.5 miles a week...which I guess isnt that bad but I am glad to finally be able to add it all up and figure out what I am actually doing...I would like to get it up to about 10 miles a week if I can...I ought to be able to do that by just adding about 5-10 minutes a day here and there...Today I also found some lipton green tea with honey and lemon to go with 0 calories and added antioxidants...Anything to help me along will be good...By wend if I dont see a conderable difference from the week I may give up on the grapefruit juice cuz all it does is burn my tummy....We will see how it goes in the long run!!!
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2 MORE DAYS

Two more days to go...I just cant wait...There is just no telling what the future will hold for me after Thursday...I am seriously hoping that the lapband helps me and that I am not one of the statistics (that really worries me alot)!! I was one of the lucky ones with good insurance that approved me right off the bat for the surgery...It was very depressing at the seminar having everyone find out that they would have to diet for 1-2 years and maybe longer and be monitored by their doctors office before approval..I could feel the disappointment spread thru the room...Most people came in with the mindset that it was basically their choice if they had the surgery or not and not that they would have to go thru a rough road with the insurance company...It was very sad...I believe that only me and 2 other people in the room at the time ended up having UHC and were told that we only had to have a bmi of 40 or over to be automatically approved...I was very excited for me, but I could feel all of the depression around me like air being let out of a balloon or something...Yes, I am a lucky one but that doesnt mean that its going to work for me...There is going to be alot of work ahead of me for the next year or two (hopefully not the later)...My heart just sank watching all the expressions on the other people there tho.. I dont know why I had the seminar on the mind all of a sudden, it wasnt there when i started writing a few minutes ago!! Well, this is a chance for a new and healthy life and I am going to give it my best and hopefully will come out a winner and be on the "lost more than 100 lbs" with some of the others before long...
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Scheduled Fill

Oh and to just plan ahead for my gain and getting back on track I went ahead and called in and scheduled an appointment for my 4th fill on January 19th...Maybe I can lose a couple pounds before then so I dont feel so bad about weighing in for them that day...I always feel insecure about my weight loss and like they are looking down on me if I havent lost enought during my fills or not (not that they actually do or not or make me feel that way, thats just the way I feel)...So, come on 4th fill...I hope 4 is my lucky number
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Just waiting

Just sitting here waiting to take my son to the dr so I can go to my follow up again with the ob...I hope that she has some good news for me today...I am really anxious to get back on some type of birth control...My dh and I are not use to going without some type since we havent had to worry about it for over 10 years now...The dr wouldnt give me anything on my last visit thinking that it might make things worse if she did...We have messed up 1 time in the last week and had sex without anything and I am totally concerned that it might only take that 1 time to do me in...Thats all I need right now since I just got the band in June is to become pregnant...I think I would just end up pulling all of my hair out...Besides we just cant afford another child right now at all and our only child is about to turn 11 and I am not wanting to start all over again with late night wake ups and feedings and diapers....I WANT BIRTH CONTROL TODAY!! And I have been stuck on my weight for the last week or so too and am really wanting the 17th to get here so I can go get another fill...I feel like right now it is hitting me from every angle, band and all...
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No birth control for me yet

I just got back from my follow up appt with my ob...She said all the tests came back normal but she was wanting to do a biopsy while I was there today...She said something about there was a disease that makes the lining of the uterus too thick sometimes and wanted to rule that out...Said no birth control until after these results came back...So off to another drs appt on December 1st for those results and she said she would do something about birth control that day if everything was normal...I am just so upset about all of this and want it all to be over with...Not to mention that its getting pretty expensive for all my drs appts, er visits, estrogen pills and I have Christmas coming up that I need to spend my money on..Plus having to buy all the good stuff for Thanksgiving dinner that all my family is coming to...This is just the wrong time of year to be going thru all of this if you know what I mean
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Second Fill

Its working again!!!! Wish the tickers were working tho so I could update mine....But little by little it will get there...Got my second fill on Friday and I am at a total of 2.15 in my 4 cc band...I finally got some real restriction this time and its working...I never thought that I could feel so full so fast, its amazing!!! I am now at 34.5 lbs and very excited!!!Today is the first day since my fill that I have stepped on the scales and there wasnt a change from the day before...Since my fill I have started going full force on my working out again and we will see how it treats me:clap2:
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Today Is The Day

Well, I can finally say that today is the day....I am just so excited that I cant seem to even think right today...Well, I guess thats not a good thing since I have to work half the day before going in...I went in for my preop yesterday and found out that they would not be doing any type of fill until 5-6 weeks after the surgery...I also found out that I would be having to stay the night at the hospital since mine is scheduled so late in the day...The reasoning is for the swollow testing that they perform afterwards...I got the final ppwk showing that I will be on only clear liquids for 3 days then I can move on to mushies for 5 weeks after that...Its all for the best since we want the tummy to completely heal properly before we attempt anything else...I woke up this morning and had 2 messages waiting on me...1/from the hospital wanting to do my pre admit ppwk 2/the anethesiologist wanting to touch base with me and let me know I could drink and eat till 8 am this morning (which is wonderful cuz the surgeon said after midnight?) Dont they know that people sleep evadentally...But I was excited that I could have something to drink anyways, didnt want to eat but did have a diet drink for breakfast...I was in shock yesterday cuz I have been celebrating all week and eating everything I possilby could, well I only gained 2.5 lbs so thats pretty good considering what all I shoved down my mouth this week...lol...Well, thats all for now...The next time I update I will be on the postop side (totally excited)
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Last OB Appointment?

Well, i had another follow up with my ob today to try to get all my "stuff" settled...She said that my biopsy had been fine and that all of my problems were deffinately due to the depo shot fighting with my band...Now that all of my depo is out of my body all of the bleeding has stopped...So after a mandatory pregnancy test (which i thought would probably doom me today) she went ahead and inserted the minera iud...So, I am now set for birth control for the next 5 years and dont have to worry about the estrogen getting out of hand again since its estrogen free...The only thing wrong right now is that I am cramping really really bad, but the ob says that after the insert moistens and softens up I will feel alot better...I had to take 2 maxium strength midol about an hour ago cuz the cramping was getting out of hand...I am hoping that I feel alot better by tomorrow cuz I bought my mom tickets to see the Rocketts at the Nokia Theater tomorrow afternoon for part of her Christmas present and I right now dont feel like getting up and doing alot of walking around...Its hard enough just sitting still and feeling the pain...Oh well, like the ob said it will just take time then it will be like it was never there...I am just glad to have all of this behind me...I have basically been seeing a dr every friday since the first of October...Atleast the bleeding has stopped, that alone is joyous enough...Now back on track I can try to get my mind back onto working out and losing some of this weight, well after the cramping stops of course
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Made It Home

Well I finally made it home today...My surgery went well...The only problem that I had during the entire process was coming out of the anesthetic once they took the tube out of my throat...I remember starting to hyperventalate and them having to talk me down and put me on O2, but I guess they are use to having to deal with that...The hospital was wonderful, I could not have wished for a better group of people taking care of me...They had several reason to knock me out thru the night...I kept having to get up and go to the restroom and kept setting off all the alarms on my IV and my heart monitor...One good thing to keep in mind, if you lay on your side your blood pressure goes way down so they had to keep a close eye on it and retake it several times...But back to the nurses, they even brought my entire family dinner the night of surgery, it was wonderful stuffed pork chops (not anything like the normal hospital food) and pancakes and bacon for breakfast for my husband...He was wanting to check in for the weekend like a hotel since it was so nice...The room even had a seperate livingroom area with a seperate tv just for the family then one over by the bed for the patient, it was great since my husband keeps a late schedule on watching his tv shows...The ride home wasnt unbareable, but I was nauseous and light headed the entire trip...But now that I am home I am feeling alot better and up moving around some...Beware of the scale when you get home, the swelling adds pounds (Be Ready!!)...I have only had to have 1 does of pain meds since I got home this afternoon and didnt even take a full dose that time, but I am thinking before I go to bed I might take one so I can get thru the night...And its true, the port site is the worst but starting to have some upper back pain between the shoulders (im guessing from the gas)...Its really strange not being hungry...I havent had anything to eat since night before last for dinner...I have been very lucky and have had no problems what so ever with the liquids...They brough me apple juice, broth and jello for breakfast, but I wasnt really wanting anything but took a couple bites of each anyways to just try to get some of my strength back and it went down same as always...I will be on a clear diet for 3 day (till monday) then on mushies (only 2 ounces) for 5 weeks after that...I ought to lose quite a bit of weight during that transition (I hope) but then it will slow down when I move to my regular foods (4-5 ounces)....But I can do it, I know I can...As good as I feel right now it should only take a few days for me to almost be back to normal (I hope!!!) I am really excited...Got my follow up with my surgeon (blessed man) on July 5th and will see how everything is going and then hopefully a fill in 6-7 weeks..Just wanted to touch base with my journal while everything was still fresh in my mind (foggy but its there)...Im on the other side!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!
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Getting Hungry

I have been on the clear liquids for 3 days now and havent had anything to eat in 4 days...I am just now starting to notice that I am getting a little bit hungry..I finally get to start on mushie foods in the morning and am actually looking forward to it...I have gotten off the extra pounds that I gained in the hospital and have actually started on losing my weight...5-6 lbs lost from the hospital and 2 of my own...Its all exciting...I feel very little pain today and havent had to take any meds...I got up and did some laundry, took a nap and actually made the boys some dinner tonight...Hamburger helper has never looked so good...1 confession, I had 1 noodle to make sure it was cooked all the way and thank goodness that it wasnt or it might have actually tasted good too...But I have a great morning planned when I was up with some egg beaters with cheese and chives...It looked really good at the store...But of course, only 2 ounces...then I have to start on some protein drinks tomorrow and I am sure that it will help alot with my hunger...Maybe some yogart for lunch...yummmm...I am still scared about putting anything that doesnt come out of a straw into my mouth, but it will take time...I am ready to be back to normal and be able to sit down and eat with my family in about 5 more weeks, but within reason of course...Was having a little bit of chest pains over the last couple days but I have pretty much figured out that it was from drinking too much at a time cuz I have slowed down on my intake and am feeling better today...Its all going to be a learning experience to last a life time:confused:
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Weigh In

Ok, my official weigh in after the holidays and 2 weeks vacation of being at home and snacking is a total of 49 pounds...Which in the long run is great cuz that is only a half a pound gain over the holidays, but I was hoping to be a little over the 50 lb mark...But I am excited that I didnt gain more than I did...I started working out last week every day and that probably helped out alot...
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GGRRRRR

Ok so I was terrible last night....I had 3 pieces of deep dish pizza:pizza:....It was wonderful, but afterwards I felt so guilty...:emoticon(':killit')"]...This waiting for my fill and not really having a real restricton is getting to me...I am sure that one day of falling off the wagon wont kill me...I did not see any difference on the scales this morning which I was expecting about a pound gain but I guess that I moved around enough yesterday working in the yard and mowing that it evened out...Oh well, 1 more week to go then I am sure that I will do great...After all, everyone is expected to have a fall back every once in a while but I feel like crying due to letting myself down...I went into the OB yesterday for my bleeding problem and had to have one of those sonograms with the long wand, that wasnt pleasant...Well, anyways my dr said that some bleeding is normal since I havent in such a very long time and that maybe it was just time for me to get cleaned out...Said that there is only a very thin lining left and that it should stop anytime on its own...Also said that the depo shot that I got yesterday might actually help stop it and that if it doesnt before long that he would put me on some estrogen patches...He was really kinda rude, like I was wasting his time for something like that...Well hello, I dont think that bleeding for over a month is actually wasting his time...I guess that my drs visit might be why I fell into the pizza, I always feel depressed and so violated going there and then for him to treat me like that just made it worse...Well, I am feeling a little bit better about it this morning but not by much so I only ate the toppings off of 3 pieces of left over pizza for breakfast (I said a little bit better, atleast I didnt eat the crust this time) lol[/b]:emoticon(':slap')"]...Tomorrow is a new day!!!(Thank GOD)[/b]
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Crud

Well I thought that the 2nd fill was going to be the magic one for me...Right after the fill I lost about 5-6 lbs then it kinda slowed down then just stopped all together in the last week...I still cant eat much and am faithfully doing my workout everyday except Sundays and the day that I chose to mow the yard (which I consider my workout anyways)...I had heard such good things about 2nd fills and am kinda upset right now about the process...But I guess maybe for me the 3rd fill might be my special one that does the real trick...I am excited that I have lost a little bit of weight since my fill but was expecting more I guess...I will wait about a month and see what happens then maybe have to call and schedule another one...My BDay is on the 21st and i kinda had a personal goal of being about 20 more pounds lower than where I am by then but maybe I had my expectations a little too high, after all I did make my goals within the 1st month after surgery when I was losing alot at the beginning...For now I will just sit back and see where it takes me and do everything that I am suppose to do so I dont have to have the guilt hanging over my head!!
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day after 4th fill

So far so good with my 4th fill...Of course I am still on liquids and they seem to be going down good...I have truely dedicated myself to lowering and seriously watching my portion intake and we will see how it goes once I start on solids tomorrow...So far it looks like I might have lost a little weight with me being on liquids since Thursday night...I even have lowered my standards and went and bought some diet salad dressing (man, I hate the taste of those)...and whats even worse I bought some diet mayo too (and thats just as bad)...We will see what I can accomplish and will do an official weigh in in the morning for my week...I dont plan on working out again till Monday afternoon or maybe even Sunday afternoon when I get home from work to give myself a needed break...I have been working out hard this week and my body is sore and is screaming for a break but it wont get much of one before it has to get on that god forsaken machine again!!! But I have a new mindset and am staying as low as I can on my calories and drinking lots of fluids...Im gonna be good, Im gonna be good
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Chip or not to chip??

I did really good for breakfast...I had my 2 ounces of yogart and about an hour after that I had my 6 ounces of whey...I finally felt up to mowing the front yard this morning, I did the backyard the other day...I am kinda trying to break it all up so it dont overwhelm me all at once...Ok, so I was fixing my sons french bread pizza and doritos for lunch, yes I snagged 1 chip...Just 1 and it was just so good...I chewed it till it couldnt be chewed anymore...But the best thing is that I was satisfied with just the one...I know I am suppose to be on mushies, and I mushed it...I really dont believe that 1 chip will do me in and I firmly believe that a person does not have to do without ever having anything like that ever again, just in big time moderation...So, I made it thru the 1 chip and left the room while he ate the rest of his lunch and decided to color my hair while I waited for him to finish up...I work in a room full of skinny scrawny girls that live out of the vending machine and dont do anything in regards to working out and they just dont gain a pound...Makes me sick, wish I had a matabolism like theirs (maybe someday)...But I know that I can never live like I have in the past...I still havent gotten into working out yet, but have been doing alot of things around the house to try to supplement for that...Maybe in an hour or so I will attempt that dreadful gazzelle that keeps looking at me and laughing!!!!:guess
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OMG

Ok I am totally excited today...We got our new uniforms in today...I was guessing at a smaller size for later on...But guess what, they actually fit...I am just almost giddy...So from a 50x34 pants its now a 46x34 and from my 4x shirt to a 3x...Now just to get these new ones fitting as big on me as my old ones!!! Work work work!!
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So I Was Bad

Ok, so I was bad yesterday...I wanted to try a new recipe for a cake that a lady had brought to work for everyone...And needless to say, it turned out great...I had a few pieces of it and will be very glad when its totally gone out of the house...I already gave a fair warning to the boys that it was about to be thrown out and to get their fill of it before the end of the day because everytime i walk by it I grab a fork and taste it...Its the root of all evil...I cant help that I just love to bake but from now on it needs to be something that I am going to take to work to get rid of and given as a gift...So I am not planning on a loss this week but instead am planning on a pound or 2 gain...I am not going to be too hard on myself cuz I have really been good since the beginning of this ride in June...People just have to treat themselves every once in a while or they will go nutz given the chance (which I have learned the hard way)...I am going to try to up my workout this week from 30 minutes to 45 if my legs and knees will hold out and we will see how it goes...I have heard that your body isnt even really losing anything until about about the 45 minute mark anyways...Of course I might not be able to walk for a couple weeks while I get adjusted cuz the 30 minutes alone just about kills me...But its time to get tough!!!!:angry
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Todays Update

Well earlier today I mentioned that I was going to up my workout time from 30 minutes to 45 in hopes of it helping me out of this rut that I have been in this week...Well I actually dressed the part this time to get the right mind set...Usually I just throw on some short and slip on shoes and go after it watching the timer the entire time...Well this time I actually got out the sports bra, socks and tennis shoes and swore to not watch the timer at all...Guess what, at the end of 45 minutes I set the timer again for another 15 minutes...I made it with no problem at all...1 hour workout for me today...Of course I dont know how sore I will be tomorrow...I dont know if I will be able to keep up with the entire hour everyday but atleast I know for sure I can do the 45 minutes and after 45 the hour is no big deal, its just trying to make time for it and how tired I am after a work day...But I am going to try for sure and see how it goes..I am feeling pretty pumped up right now and excited about it...Tomorrow will be the tale tale sign if I can do it or not! An entire hour, COOL!!:clap2:
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