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Its Official

Well its official, since last week I havent lost anything else...So I guess that what the dr said is true...I just dont like having to wait almost a month before I get a fill to start losing some more weight...I guess i am not understanding the entire process of whats going on with my body...If I am only eating 2 ounces of food after a while i would think that my body would pull itself out of the starvation period and move on to losing some pounds...After all, I will be moving up to regular food 4-5 ounces in a couple more weeks and if i am at a stand still now wont i just gain weight if i add more food? My mind has just been turned upside down trying to figure all of this stuff out...I am trying to be really good, but my stomache has started telling me that its hungry lately...I have been doing a double portion of the protien drink and making it last for breakfast and to have before lunch time...I had crab soup yesterday for lunch and shredded up grilled chicken and a salad last night for dinner...I guess that i dont really need to understand whats going on as long as my body and the scales come together on August 4th at my first fill...I am ready to see some changes after everything that i have been thru
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Its coming off

Its working, yipee....Hopefully it stays steady for a while!! But of course I keep changing the goal weight that I want to end on...I wont know what that will be till I get there and feel comfortable
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Im Still Doing It

OK, per my scales I am at 22.5 lbs loss...I am just so excited...But I know that my drs scales are different so for a complete and correct weigh in I will have to wait till the 4th when I go to the Dr...But as long as mine are going down I know that I am losing and thats wonderful...The last few days its been coming off 2 lbs at a time and I hope that it continues to be this way for a long long time cuz I am just loving it...I know that it will slow down for a while for my body to catch up...But I saw my mother today and she said she could tell that I had lost quite a bit of weight and that made me absolutely smile too...I am going to continue with my 30 minute heavy duty work outs and see how it does me before I go in on the 4th...I am happy that I am not going to have to hang my head in shame or still be at the same weight as my last visit...I know that can be devestating...My mother actually has a friend at work that has lost quiet a bit of weight and she is going to be sending me some of her clothes, only down side is that they wont fit me yet but I have something to strive for...They are size 18/20 and I havent been in 18's since high school...With as tall as I am and as big as my bones are my mother says that I start to look sick and too skinny if I get to 16's, but I would like to wear a 16-18 (thats my goal)...I started out 2 years ago in 32's then lost almost 50 lbs on the southbeach diet then gained back a couple but never got near where I was...I can put on the 32's and wear them very very loose and they look like clown pants...So, when I got my lapband I was in 26 pants and 26/28 shirts bit I usually buy bigger shirts cuz I like them baggy to hang and cover my bootie...I am just blabbering on cuz I am excited
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Im back on track

I am finally back to my 40 lbs even today...Now that the weekend is over with its time to get back on track...I wanted to be at about 250 by christmas but it doesnt appear that its going to happen that way...I will take whatever comes my way and learn to deal with it...I am scheduled for my 3rd fill on the 17th of next month and have big plans for that fill...I want to be at about 200 or less by June (my 1 year anniversary of getting the band)...I dont plan on getting anymore fills after that point due to that is when the insurance stops covering the cost of them...So if I lose or not I will keep scheduling my fills about every 1 1/2-2 months from no on to try to keep on track...I still love the band and without it I wouldnt be at a 40 lb loss right now and anything is an improvement...The band is really kind of fickled...I took leftovers from dinner last night for lunch today at work..Last night it went down great and caused me to get sick at lunch today...But after a couple bites and having something get stuck then lunch was over for me which I guess was a good thing cuz I ate less and expect a little bit of a loss by tomorrow...I was planning on getting back on track with my workouts today since my medical problems have really been keeping me from doing anything strenuous for now...But I came home and mowed the front and backyard today so that counts as my workout for today..This in itself was great cuz in the past I had to mow the front yard one day and the back another just to make it thru it and now I can actually do both...:clap2:...Yipee for me!! As far as the medical stuff, its still going on and heavier than last week, but I have my follow up with my ob on friday and hopefully she will have some good news for me and help me get it under control...I think that I have rambled on enough for today, but more rambles to come in the near future...The band is good, the band is wise!!:hail: I bow to the band!!
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I was right

I was right about the bleeding...I am down 1/2 pound today...Which is good cuz I kinda snacked a little last night...I have gotten to where I like to grab a spoon of peanutbutter a couple times a night for protein and when i get home i grabbed some mini rice cakes so I ate more than usual...I am going to be one of those dang turtle losers, but atleast its slowly coming off...I can wait
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I think Im Doing It

Well by the looks of it it looks as if I have lost about 2 1/2 lbs this week...I guess the extra work outs are paying off...I hate to give an exact total cuz my scales read different from the drs...But just as long as mine are going down I can tell that I am losing something....So I will update my loss after my appt on August 4th for my fill...Its always depressing if I figure out my loss at home then go to the dr and there is always like a 4-5 lb difference...But the scales are moving and I have never been happier...I have learned to not weigh in as soon as you get up in the morning, takes about an hour before you weight settles down so you can get a correct weigh in...But I am excited...As far as the bleeding its still there...yesterday it was even a dark brown(barely enough to see when you wipe), which usually means basically used blood from somewhere and then again today its back to a semi sorta red so I am a little concerned that i might have something else going on, but I have that appt with the ob on Thursday and will get it worked out one way or another...But on the weight, so far so good!!
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I dont get it

Ok, I dont get it!!! I have been on liquids since Thursday night and here it is Sunday and all I lost was 1 lb total for all of that!! I was just so sure that I would lose about 2-3 lbs during that phase...Oh well, I will take it as it comes but that sure is discouraging
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I did it!!

I finally did it!!! I finally passed my 50 lb mark that I have been having an issue with for the last month...I am now at 52 lbs...I am so excited!!
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Guess I lied

I just cant break myself from the scale...I guess I will just have to deal with it for now...My family gets much humor out of me now about the scale and about me being totally happy that I am getting 2 ounces of food and totally excited about it...I am not having much luck on staying on the mushies either...I was craving a salad so bad today that my husband went and got me a grilled chicken salad for dinner...I was very careful to weigh everything out and did not dare go over my 2 ounces...I was able to seperate out what was left for 4 more meals and used my new vacuum sealer food saver thing (hope it stays good)...I just felt the total need to chew my meal for a change I guess...They also (for now) are getting a kick out of me just asking for 1 bite of what they got for dinner off their plates, but that wont last very long..lol..They are kinda stingy with their food...Well, I am at 14 1/2 lbs today and am happy about that of course...I gotta go back to work in the morning, its terrible with Sunday being my Monday...But I already have my protien drink mixed and ready for breakfast and my 2 ounce salad is ready to go...I just am dreading all of the questions about it when I get back there...I tried only telling a few of my closest friends and my supervisor since I was needing off early the day of the surgery...But I let them know that I didnt want anyone else to know about it...But I guess it went over a few of their heads and everyone basically that I work with knows...So I will just deal with that tomorrow...Each day brings a new challenge!!
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Grapefruit Diet

Today is my 4th day on the grapefruit juice diet...Just drinking 8 ounces of grapefruit juice 30 minutes before each meal...I cant really tell any difference in my weight at all from my scale...But of course the official weigh in will be on Wend when I get back to work...But as of right now drinking the grapefruit juice just adds extra calories to my diet that I dont really want to add...I did finally get my little computer thing working on my gazelle and found out that I have been going about 1.25 miles a day in my 30 minute workout 6 days a week which adds up to 7.5 miles a week...which I guess isnt that bad but I am glad to finally be able to add it all up and figure out what I am actually doing...I would like to get it up to about 10 miles a week if I can...I ought to be able to do that by just adding about 5-10 minutes a day here and there...Today I also found some lipton green tea with honey and lemon to go with 0 calories and added antioxidants...Anything to help me along will be good...By wend if I dont see a conderable difference from the week I may give up on the grapefruit juice cuz all it does is burn my tummy....We will see how it goes in the long run!!!
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GGRRRRR

Ok so I was terrible last night....I had 3 pieces of deep dish pizza:pizza:....It was wonderful, but afterwards I felt so guilty...:emoticon(':killit')"]...This waiting for my fill and not really having a real restricton is getting to me...I am sure that one day of falling off the wagon wont kill me...I did not see any difference on the scales this morning which I was expecting about a pound gain but I guess that I moved around enough yesterday working in the yard and mowing that it evened out...Oh well, 1 more week to go then I am sure that I will do great...After all, everyone is expected to have a fall back every once in a while but I feel like crying due to letting myself down...I went into the OB yesterday for my bleeding problem and had to have one of those sonograms with the long wand, that wasnt pleasant...Well, anyways my dr said that some bleeding is normal since I havent in such a very long time and that maybe it was just time for me to get cleaned out...Said that there is only a very thin lining left and that it should stop anytime on its own...Also said that the depo shot that I got yesterday might actually help stop it and that if it doesnt before long that he would put me on some estrogen patches...He was really kinda rude, like I was wasting his time for something like that...Well hello, I dont think that bleeding for over a month is actually wasting his time...I guess that my drs visit might be why I fell into the pizza, I always feel depressed and so violated going there and then for him to treat me like that just made it worse...Well, I am feeling a little bit better about it this morning but not by much so I only ate the toppings off of 3 pieces of left over pizza for breakfast (I said a little bit better, atleast I didnt eat the crust this time) lol[/b]:emoticon(':slap')"]...Tomorrow is a new day!!!(Thank GOD)[/b]
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Getting Hungry

I have been on the clear liquids for 3 days now and havent had anything to eat in 4 days...I am just now starting to notice that I am getting a little bit hungry..I finally get to start on mushie foods in the morning and am actually looking forward to it...I have gotten off the extra pounds that I gained in the hospital and have actually started on losing my weight...5-6 lbs lost from the hospital and 2 of my own...Its all exciting...I feel very little pain today and havent had to take any meds...I got up and did some laundry, took a nap and actually made the boys some dinner tonight...Hamburger helper has never looked so good...1 confession, I had 1 noodle to make sure it was cooked all the way and thank goodness that it wasnt or it might have actually tasted good too...But I have a great morning planned when I was up with some egg beaters with cheese and chives...It looked really good at the store...But of course, only 2 ounces...then I have to start on some protein drinks tomorrow and I am sure that it will help alot with my hunger...Maybe some yogart for lunch...yummmm...I am still scared about putting anything that doesnt come out of a straw into my mouth, but it will take time...I am ready to be back to normal and be able to sit down and eat with my family in about 5 more weeks, but within reason of course...Was having a little bit of chest pains over the last couple days but I have pretty much figured out that it was from drinking too much at a time cuz I have slowed down on my intake and am feeling better today...Its all going to be a learning experience to last a life time:confused:
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Gave Up

:sickI finally gave up...I have been feeling terrible for more than several days now, thought it was a summer cold...Well, I finally gave up and went to the after hours clinic this morning...After finding out that they dont use my insurance there cuz my dr is not in their "group" and 70 bucks later I find out that I have a URI and brochitis...I knew I wasnt feeling quite right and I should have taken a hint when I was having severe headaches in the beginning of the week...Really sucked cuz I have been on vacation since Wend to get my son started in school and sick basically since Thursday...Oh well, finally got some liquid antibiotics and some codiene cough meds to help me out...I missed my weekly weigh in today due to not going to work and wont officially weigh in till Tuesday since I will be off till then...Its going to be kinda scarey Tuesday cuz I havent had the strength to work out since Thursday but hopefully that will change once I get the antibiotics working full force...Well back off to bed...Well, I guess its a good thing too cuz I have lost my ambition to eat... Thank goodness that came after my wonderful dinner out last night!!
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First Post Op Visit

Well, I had my first post op visit yesterday...They weighed me in and were very happy with my results, even tho I have been unhappy that it has been stuck...They told me that I should be just consentrating on healing right now cuz my body is in a "starvation period" where it thinks that its starving and storing extra fat cells...The nurse said to be happy and consider anything that I had lost as a bonus, but I am thinking what choice does my body have but to lose weight with me only eating 2 ounces of food a meal...Oh well, atleast they were happy...My appt was actually with the drs helper and I told her what had happened after my surgery and that it was still freaking me out and giving me nightmares...So she left the room and talked to the dr and she came back in saying that the dr wanted to see me and for me to wait for him...So I wait about 30 minutes for him to get finished with his regular paitence so that he can come see me...He reassured me that everything was normal and for me to make sure to tell the anethesiologist (if i ever have surgery again) that I have problems staying knocked out long enough...And that was basiclly it..He seemed genuinly concerned that I was upset about it tho and was really nice...So, I am scheduled for my first fill on August 4th...Then they said I could consentrate on me losing weight...They made sure to also tell me that I probably wont lose anything else until then and to take it easy...Im going to see what I can do between now and then to prove them wrong tho of course, cuz Im not happy just not losing after going thru what I had to to get to where I am...So, I will work work work on it, no promises tho
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Finally some energy

I finally got enough strength back yesterday so I was able to finally work out again...Did my full 30 minutes even tho I thought that I would give up halfway thru...Lost 1 of those 2 1/2 lbs I gained from being sick last week...I am really hoping to be able to say that I am at 30 lbs by Sunday, I am really going to work hard at it so that I can make up for my lost week...I think that I will wait till next week to see how I feel and how I am doing about having another fill...I hate to go in for one when I really dont need one and get overly filled but we will see
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Feeling Better

I am feeling much better today...Yesterday I was having a severe pitty party and feeling terrible about the entire process...I just had the feeling that the surgery was going to go totally wrong and just going over all of the negative things that could happen...I'll tell you what, the absolute wrong thing to do before surgery is to go to the memorial page on your surgeons website and read all about the deaths...Well, one of my coworkers has totally talked me out of getting into anything negative and to just consentrate on the positive things to come...So, today I have a totally different outlook on life and am totally excited about my surgery again...Cant wait for next Thursday to get here....Jumping for joy and know there is a rough road ahead of course:faint: ....But my mind is back on track, THANK GOD!!!:clap2:
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Falling Off Again

This past week has been good for me...The weight has started coming off .5-1 lb at a time...I am getting excited and hope that it dont stop again, knowing that it will of course...I guess that my body just needed a little break and now has kicked back into gear...Since my last fill I have only been able to eat 4-5 ounces of food at a time and I am trying to get everything in that I need...I guess my dr knew what he was talking about when he said to not worry about getting in 1000 calories a day and to stay under that as much as possible...Its working again and I couldnt be happier...I have been working out most days and drinking all my water and just in general feeling really well...Only problem that I have is that none of my clothes are fitting me anymore, but I am going to wait until I absolutely have to to buy anything new so that I dont have to spend so much to replace them when I outgrow them...I want to get the smallest size possible so that I would be able to wear them when I am at goal...Even at goal I will be wearing XL shirts so if I order 2X here before long I will still be able to wear them too later on cuz I like my shirts big anyways and around the house they will just be comfy...Cant wait till the day that I can say that I have lost 100 lbs total so far....Only about 42 or so more lbs and I will be able to say that..One of my goals is to be under 200 lbs by my 1 year bandversary...but that would mean another about 58 lbs before June...I dont think I can do that, but I am going to try my hardest...At even 1 lb a week thats only about 21 lbs...So I might actually have to do this 1.5 year goal thing if I have to...Just as long as its still working I will be fine with it
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ENOUGH CALORIES??? NOT SURE

MY DOCTOR WANTED ME AROUND 1200 CALORIES A DAY....WELL I AM ADDING UP MY NORMAL INTAKE NOW DAYS AND IT VARIES BETWEEN 680-880 A DAY AND THAT INCLUDES MY PROTEIN DRINKS...I DONT KNOW HOW I AM GOING TO BE ABLE TO ADD MORE CALORIES BECAUSE MY DOC SAID ABSOLUTELY NO SNACKS, NO PASTA, NO SUGARS...SO I AM GUESSING THAT I MIGHT HAVE TO GO AGAINST HIM AND ADD MAYBE A MID MORNING YOGART OR SOMETHING...I HAVE READ ALOT ABOUT PEOPLE GETTING TOO FEW CALORIES AND LOSING WEIGHT SLOW OR NOT AT ALL AND I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE THAT...I MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO ADD 1 MORE YOGART OR SOMETHING SMALL WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK BEFORE DINNER SO THAT I CAN GET IN A FEW MORE AND SEE HOW IT GOES...I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE STUCK AT A WEIGHT DUE TO YOUR BODY BEING IN THAT STARVATION MODE AND I DONT EVER WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN...SO MAYBE BY ADDING 2 YOGARTS A DAY (200 CALORIES) I CAN GET MY WEIGHT COMING OFF FASTER...GUESS IT WILL JUST HAVE TO BE SOMETHING THAT I PLAY WITH AND SEE IF IT WORKS...MIGHT GO AHEAD AND START THAT TODAY:confused:
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Dr Visit

Well I had my follow up appointment with my dr today! After hearing my story of what all had been happening she sent me right upstairs to her favorite OB...After talking with the OB and running alot of tests she is thinking that my depo shot and the lapband are fighting eachother...Basically one stores estrogen and one makes you get rid of it so they were battling since June and I think by the looks of it the band one...She says that my depo days are deffinately over...So she also has me scheduled for an ultrasound next friday just incase its something else and I have a follow up with her on the friday after that to get all of my testing results back and to talk to her about a new birth control method...She had mentioned the mirena which I had never heard of before...I just sits right inside the uterus and you dont have to worry about birth control for 5 years at a time, no weight gain (which I had alot from the depo) and it doesnt use estrogen at all (which is exactly what I need)...She said in most cases the patient doesnt even bleed during that time of the month but maybe spots just a little...I told her that it sounded better than finding a huge diamond in my christmas stocking...She will call if anything abnormal comes up with my tests but says if she dont hear from me that everything is fine and can wait till my follow up...Of course we have to wait on the mirena until after all my tests are back cuz she dont want to add insult to injury if something else is wrong...So far the estrogen pills are working pretty good, just a little spotting right now but nothing like it was thank goodness...It can only get better from here on!!
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Double Dog Dang!!

Dang It!!!I was doing so good last week and now this week I cant get that scale to move one ounce...I am staying calm and keeping up with what I am suppose to be doing...I think that my body is taking a break and trying to catch up...If not, I get my fill next Friday and it will whoop that bands tookas and remind it whos boss:yield:
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Double Blah!!

Well I finally found out why I have been feeling so bad and run down...Well, first off I have been bleeding since June except for a couple days that I can basically count on my fingers...Well, the last 2 weeks have been terrible and very heavy...So Tuesday night it was so bad that I was feeling like I was going to pass out and could actually feel the color draining from my face...Yep, I ended up in the ER that night...After all of the testing and stuff that they did the only thing they could do for me was to put me on estrogen pills to try to get it to stop and told me to make a follow up appointment with my regular dr...So far everything is the same but I have my appt in the morning...Its not like I havent tried to get help before now with this problem...I talked to the surgeon at my 6 week app and he told me to follow up with my ob...So I followed up with my ob and he basically treated me like I was stupid and wasting his time...Then last week I finally was just totally fed up and made an appointment to see my regular dr which was originally scheduled for tomorrow...But I couldnt make it past Tuesday...So atleast I already had my appt made to see my dr tomorrow instead of having to wait another week before I could get in to see her...Well so far every dr I have consulted with including the er dr was a man, tomorrow will be a woman and I am hoping that she will have some type of understanding and knowledge to share
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Dont know whats going on

Well, I dont know what happened this morning...I woke up and from the scales at home it looks like I have gained about 3 lbs...I was about ready to pass out...Of course my official weigh in is done on the scale at work so I will find out tomorrow morning what exactly is going on but I sure dont feel good about what it appears to be...I thought maybe I was stopped up so I took a laxative earlier to see if I could resolve my issue that way but it hasnt kicked in yet, but I am sure it will when I am like in the middle of the grocery store or something like that...lol...Oh well, I will get back on here tomorrow and document what I have done to myself...:cry
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day after 4th fill

So far so good with my 4th fill...Of course I am still on liquids and they seem to be going down good...I have truely dedicated myself to lowering and seriously watching my portion intake and we will see how it goes once I start on solids tomorrow...So far it looks like I might have lost a little weight with me being on liquids since Thursday night...I even have lowered my standards and went and bought some diet salad dressing (man, I hate the taste of those)...and whats even worse I bought some diet mayo too (and thats just as bad)...We will see what I can accomplish and will do an official weigh in in the morning for my week...I dont plan on working out again till Monday afternoon or maybe even Sunday afternoon when I get home from work to give myself a needed break...I have been working out hard this week and my body is sore and is screaming for a break but it wont get much of one before it has to get on that god forsaken machine again!!! But I have a new mindset and am staying as low as I can on my calories and drinking lots of fluids...Im gonna be good, Im gonna be good
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Crud

Well I thought that the 2nd fill was going to be the magic one for me...Right after the fill I lost about 5-6 lbs then it kinda slowed down then just stopped all together in the last week...I still cant eat much and am faithfully doing my workout everyday except Sundays and the day that I chose to mow the yard (which I consider my workout anyways)...I had heard such good things about 2nd fills and am kinda upset right now about the process...But I guess maybe for me the 3rd fill might be my special one that does the real trick...I am excited that I have lost a little bit of weight since my fill but was expecting more I guess...I will wait about a month and see what happens then maybe have to call and schedule another one...My BDay is on the 21st and i kinda had a personal goal of being about 20 more pounds lower than where I am by then but maybe I had my expectations a little too high, after all I did make my goals within the 1st month after surgery when I was losing alot at the beginning...For now I will just sit back and see where it takes me and do everything that I am suppose to do so I dont have to have the guilt hanging over my head!!
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Could Have Been Worse

Oh well, my weekly weigh in could have been worse...With me being sick and not up moving around much I will totally accept the 2.5 lbs gain...I will get that back off in no time...Of course I am not happy with it but I think my health this week was alot more important...My husband says that will can start walking as a family in the evenings for a little bit more of a workout, but we will see how that goes...I am going to atleast get back started on my afternoon workout possibly today...
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