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A Little Better

Well I can tell that I am feeling just a tad bit better now...My hunger is finally coming back yesterday and I think that I have gained about 1 1/2 lbs just yesterday alone...I guess that isnt bad considering I havent been working out for almost a week...I need to get back on the right track, but I will give it a couple more days since my strength still hasnt returned...But I am ready I think to move on past this point and was even considering calling next week for my second fill but we will have to see how that goes...I need to get to that sweet spot so I can get back on track
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Its coming off

Its working, yipee....Hopefully it stays steady for a while!! But of course I keep changing the goal weight that I want to end on...I wont know what that will be till I get there and feel comfortable
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Night of 3rd fill

For the first time since I have had the band I am actually feeling real restriciton with liquids even...This has never happened before...I have heard lots of people talking about having to sip sip sip their drinks and it taking an hour or 2 just to get down their protein drinks in the mornings...Well, now I know what they are talking about...I just had a protein drink for dinner and after 2 small drinks I had to actually take a break before I could drink anymore...There was no room left for anything else...And a couple hours ago I almost got sick off of a half cup of small curd cottage cheese...I am really feeling it now...I guess its a good thing that I am finally to this stage and finally have real real restriction...I am totally scare about what is going to happen when I start back on solids on Sunday...If I was having PBs before on my last fill I can just imagine how much I am going to have to slow down on my eating and how much more I am going to have to chew...I think that I might have to add a couple snacks between meals now just to make sure that I am getting enough calories cuz right now I get real full real quick...Will just have to wait and see how it goes in the days ahead...Hoping for some real weight loss this time!!!!
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Poor Pitiful Me

:violin:Well the day started out with a gain of 1 1/2 lbs for me..Dont know what happened, was doing what I was suppose to so I guess it was suppose to happen...Did great all day today doing what I am suppose to be doing...Was really sore all day from digging and laying out a dog shocker wire all around my backyard last night so the dogs would stop digging out, so I came home and mowed the front yard and was too tired to do my workout, but atleast I got some sort of a workout while I was mowing...Made a meatloaf, vegitarian beans and for the boys also added garlic bread and mac and cheese (they have to have the extras)...Well, the bread looked really good so I started out with just a pinch of garlic bread and started trying to eat my meatloaf then bam, PB hit and ended up having to recover from it for about 20 minutes in the bathroom before I could return to the dinner table...This was the first time I have tried any type of bread since my first fill and it didnt go well...So now I am totally terrified of bread which I guess is good cuz I shouldnt be eating it anyways...So, Now I am going to refuse to weigh until maybe a week from now (its going to very hard to break that habit but I have to do it) DAMN SCALES!!! But 1 bad day out of as many good days as I have had isnt bad and I cant really complain...Its just been one of those days!!:phanvan
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selfishness

:think Now that the time is getting closer to my lapband surgery I am beginning to wonder if I am being selfish about putting my life at risk just so I can be healthy and happy...I am worried that something might happen to me during surgery and my family will be without me for reasons that could have been prevented...I know that the lapband is the least evasive surgery and for that reason is why I had picked it...I have gotten myself all depressed about it all last night when I found a memorial page for those that did not survive bariatric surgery, but most of the people that passed had the bypass or died while waiting for the approval from the insurance company:eek: ...I think that I have worked myself up over nothing but it still makes you think about what all you would be leaving it something goes wrong and it being my choice to have put me thru it...I am just in one of those moody moods while waiting for my time to get here next week...Anyone else ever go thru these same feelings before surgery??? Help guide me threw
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I dont get it

Ok, I dont get it!!! I have been on liquids since Thursday night and here it is Sunday and all I lost was 1 lb total for all of that!! I was just so sure that I would lose about 2-3 lbs during that phase...Oh well, I will take it as it comes but that sure is discouraging
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Under the big 3..0..0

Well, today is going to be my last daily weigh in...The scales have been driving me crazy....During the night even when I get up to go to the restroom I have been hoping on the scale...Im totally hooked on them...From now on it will only be on Friday mornings, but its going to be hard to stay off of them...I am totally excited about my 13.5 lbs loss in the last 8 days...I have finally gotten under 300 lbs which I havent been able to do in a very very long time...And I am rather suprised due to getting a call yesterday evening to go to the hospital...One of my friends at works daughter (6 months old, Blayze is her name) suffocated during her nap...It was devistating to everyone...She worked so hard picking out the name Blayze, her daddy is a fireman from the city I work and her mommy is a fire/ems/police dispatcher with me...Firemen think they can just fix anything...When he found her he grabbed her and ran to his firestation that he is usually at to get help screaming that he couldnt save her on his own...Of course the hospital was packed with everyone from our police and fire dept for encouragment so bad that they moved us outside due to their not being enough room...I am hoping due to mommy having another precious daughter (2 years old) that will need her help and her mothering that she will get thru the worst part of this faster than those without another child...Its just like losing part of your own family as much as we are all together and having to rely on eachother...In the end the father came out crying and grabbing his partner when he rides the ambulance screaming that he couldnt save her...Its very sad and brings me to tears again even when I write it out...But anyways I had gotten home so late last night that I just grabbed a left over piece of pizza that the boys had ordered for dinner and didnt want to go overboard so I cut off the crust and measured out 2 ounces of pizza...It totally filled me up and I didnt care much about the drinking thing about drinking 30 min after I ate...I wanted to make sure it all went down so I drank quite a bit of water afterwards...But hey, I still lost and it didnt get stuck so Im excited...Now after my fill I dont believe I will be able to do that but for now its ok!!
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Working on it!!

:funscale:Well I finally got off all the weight I had gained over the past weekend and now am back where I started from....Still working on getting past that point and hopefully can do it before I go in on Friday for my fill...I want to have a big change from my last drs appointment...I know I can do it, its just having the right frame of mind 24/7 and thats really hard...Yes I treat myself to something special atleast once a week and spend the most of the next week trying to get back to where I was, but atleast I know that I can do it...After my first fill on Friday I am expecting quite a bit of a change and hopefully can get over the hurdle and start losing more than I have been...I know I can do it, its just I dont have that extra umph right now
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Blah!

I am still trying to get back up to par...I have no energy for anything anymore...I feel terrible for not getting to my workouts this week, but I just cant do it...Maybe next week...Atleast I am back to work and getting in a little movement, but am only looking forward to getting home and maybe fitting in a little nap...I am still eating right and feel that I should be losing weight anyways no matter how slow, atleast its not a gain this time but there is no telling what Sundays weigh in might hold for me...If I had a rock near me right now I think that i would feel totally comfortable climbing under it in a fetal position for a while:sick....Its gotta come to an end sooner or later!!
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Dr Visit

Well I had my follow up appointment with my dr today! After hearing my story of what all had been happening she sent me right upstairs to her favorite OB...After talking with the OB and running alot of tests she is thinking that my depo shot and the lapband are fighting eachother...Basically one stores estrogen and one makes you get rid of it so they were battling since June and I think by the looks of it the band one...She says that my depo days are deffinately over...So she also has me scheduled for an ultrasound next friday just incase its something else and I have a follow up with her on the friday after that to get all of my testing results back and to talk to her about a new birth control method...She had mentioned the mirena which I had never heard of before...I just sits right inside the uterus and you dont have to worry about birth control for 5 years at a time, no weight gain (which I had alot from the depo) and it doesnt use estrogen at all (which is exactly what I need)...She said in most cases the patient doesnt even bleed during that time of the month but maybe spots just a little...I told her that it sounded better than finding a huge diamond in my christmas stocking...She will call if anything abnormal comes up with my tests but says if she dont hear from me that everything is fine and can wait till my follow up...Of course we have to wait on the mirena until after all my tests are back cuz she dont want to add insult to injury if something else is wrong...So far the estrogen pills are working pretty good, just a little spotting right now but nothing like it was thank goodness...It can only get better from here on!!
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Its Official

Well its official, since last week I havent lost anything else...So I guess that what the dr said is true...I just dont like having to wait almost a month before I get a fill to start losing some more weight...I guess i am not understanding the entire process of whats going on with my body...If I am only eating 2 ounces of food after a while i would think that my body would pull itself out of the starvation period and move on to losing some pounds...After all, I will be moving up to regular food 4-5 ounces in a couple more weeks and if i am at a stand still now wont i just gain weight if i add more food? My mind has just been turned upside down trying to figure all of this stuff out...I am trying to be really good, but my stomache has started telling me that its hungry lately...I have been doing a double portion of the protien drink and making it last for breakfast and to have before lunch time...I had crab soup yesterday for lunch and shredded up grilled chicken and a salad last night for dinner...I guess that i dont really need to understand whats going on as long as my body and the scales come together on August 4th at my first fill...I am ready to see some changes after everything that i have been thru
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Losing A Little

Well, I got my first fill on Friday...I have lost very little since...I just thought it would be a little faster, but I can wait...I started out on the day of my fill at 22.5 lbs lost and am now at 24.5 so I can deal with that...I am doing everything by the book...Measuring my food, making good choices, getting in all my water and protein and working out 30 minutes a day...My time will come and I am working hard to get there...Sometimes I feel like its trying to beat me, but I refuse to let it...So far so good, I cant feel much restriction from my fill really...Its nothing like some of the horror storys that some tell on here...The only difference is that I seem to get full a little quicker and have to stop eating, so thats good...A few pounds here and there is better than nothing and better than gaining for sure...I still havent broken the habit of jumping on the scale several times a day, but I am sure that will stop with time...My only problem is that while i am making dinner I might grab a taste of this and a taste of that while I am cooking then dont have much room for dinner, but I have to work at getting rid of that nasty habit cuz I really enjoy my family time during dinner...All good things come to those that wait!!
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ENOUGH CALORIES??? NOT SURE

MY DOCTOR WANTED ME AROUND 1200 CALORIES A DAY....WELL I AM ADDING UP MY NORMAL INTAKE NOW DAYS AND IT VARIES BETWEEN 680-880 A DAY AND THAT INCLUDES MY PROTEIN DRINKS...I DONT KNOW HOW I AM GOING TO BE ABLE TO ADD MORE CALORIES BECAUSE MY DOC SAID ABSOLUTELY NO SNACKS, NO PASTA, NO SUGARS...SO I AM GUESSING THAT I MIGHT HAVE TO GO AGAINST HIM AND ADD MAYBE A MID MORNING YOGART OR SOMETHING...I HAVE READ ALOT ABOUT PEOPLE GETTING TOO FEW CALORIES AND LOSING WEIGHT SLOW OR NOT AT ALL AND I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE THAT...I MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO ADD 1 MORE YOGART OR SOMETHING SMALL WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK BEFORE DINNER SO THAT I CAN GET IN A FEW MORE AND SEE HOW IT GOES...I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE STUCK AT A WEIGHT DUE TO YOUR BODY BEING IN THAT STARVATION MODE AND I DONT EVER WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN...SO MAYBE BY ADDING 2 YOGARTS A DAY (200 CALORIES) I CAN GET MY WEIGHT COMING OFF FASTER...GUESS IT WILL JUST HAVE TO BE SOMETHING THAT I PLAY WITH AND SEE IF IT WORKS...MIGHT GO AHEAD AND START THAT TODAY:confused:
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No Luck

Ok, so I guess that adding more food to my diet really didnt work...Well, it did get 1 pound off but that was about it...So I am just flat out going to give up on my hopes of losing anything else until my first fill...I have really high hopes for after my fill tho...I am just wanting more to happen alot quicker than it is...I know, my weight didnt come on over night and it wont go away over night....I just need to work on keeping the right mind set for the next few weeks before my fill...Its really depressing tho
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Quit Complaining

I have decided that I am going to just stop complaining...I know that I am just in the beginning phase of this process and should be entirely happy with what I have lost so far...If the good Lord wants me to lose weight I will...And as long as I am doing what I am suppose to be doing then I shouldnt worry about it anymore...I am just going to sit back and try to enjoy the ride...Hopefully it all turns out the way that I want it, if not then so be it...I would rather live happy than being depressed over the band...So CHEERS...Here is to a new outlook on life!!!
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smilies

[/b]:emoticon(':drama')"]:bump2::gossip::success1::boink::ban: :rockon::decision::whoo::Banane09::Banane57::drum::violin::cake::pizza::Banane45::love::Banane41::star::nono::huggie::usa::wow2::welcomeB: :hail::update::crutch::yield::drama::doh:
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I was right

I was right about the bleeding...I am down 1/2 pound today...Which is good cuz I kinda snacked a little last night...I have gotten to where I like to grab a spoon of peanutbutter a couple times a night for protein and when i get home i grabbed some mini rice cakes so I ate more than usual...I am going to be one of those dang turtle losers, but atleast its slowly coming off...I can wait
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Working It!!

All I can say today is that I am working it and its working me!!! About time!!! Still waiting for my first fill on the 4th, cant wait!! I sticking to my 4-5 ounces of good food...Every morning I have a protien drink for breakfast and have started only having 1/3 of a can of soup (no creamy soup of any kind) with a couple crackers crushed up in it...Then for dinner i only have meat and veggies (usually about 4 1/2 ounces but no more than 5)...There is no snacking in between anything and no sweet of any kind regardless...I have been getting in 64 or more ounces of water each day and last but not least doing my 30 minute workout every single day...I am trying to stick by the rules cuz if i slip a little i will end up slipping alot and i refuse to fail...Anything under 200 lbs and I will totally be happy and satisfied!!
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Double Dog Dang!!

Dang It!!!I was doing so good last week and now this week I cant get that scale to move one ounce...I am staying calm and keeping up with what I am suppose to be doing...I think that my body is taking a break and trying to catch up...If not, I get my fill next Friday and it will whoop that bands tookas and remind it whos boss:yield:
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Yo Yo

I dont have a clue on what my weigh in is going to be this week:noidea:...I thought for sure that I would go down some, but with the heat and major headaches this week I guess I havent been up to par but I still have been working out and trying to eat right...Each morning when I weigh in it looks like I keep going back and forth on the same 2 pounds...Of course I officially weigh in on the scales at work for my accurate loss and wont be back there till Sunday...Took a few days off work to get my son started in school today:Banane51:, man it was a mad house with lots of little knee high people running around...Its hard to believe that my son was at anytime that small...But its his last year in elementary school and he feels like hes the king of the school this year...He has a wonderful attitude...Oh well back to the weight, I just feel like whatever happens this week will happen...My heart just isnt in it fully right now with time off from work and wanting to rest and relax during the day:bored...Even had cheese enchiladas for lunch today:faint2: and they were wonderful...Think I might skip on dinner or maybe just some veggies or yogart...Well, off to bed to nurse my head againnnn...It really suck dilly ucks to not feel good on vacation days away from the place that I thought was causing my headaches...Oh well!:sick   Oh, and while picking some of my smilies off the list it appears that a couple perverted or could be mistaken as perverted smilies have made it on the list towards the end...Kinda wish someone would take those off...
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Working Out Again

I decided 3 days ago that I was tired of waiting for the ob to release me to where I could workout again...I was tired and depressed of not losing anything and just sitting there and gaining and losing the same couple pounds...So I decided to go ahead and start working out again...So its been almost a month that I havent worked out so I had to start back from the beginning trying to get use to it again...The last 3 days I have been able to get thru my 25-30 minutes a day but its just about killing me...I will get use to it again and it will seem like nothing to me...Right now I am still use to the fact that I was able to just come home and lay down infront of the tv for the evening instead of making time to work out...Went right back to bad habits...So, I dont think that I have really lost anything but maybe a lb or 1.5 in the last few days that I seemed to have gained...But I will be happy to start back where I left off...Its all in getting my mind set again and building up my strength...But I have been feeling better about myself the last few days just knowing that I actually did work out...Thats about it for now...Atleast I am getting back on the right track again:clap2:
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Worked Out

I just wanted it noted that I did work out on my gazzelle for 15 minutes today after all...It wasnt bad at all and I could have actually gone a little longer but I just didnt want to push it right now...I will gradually add some time to it and get it to where it needs to be, but for now I am totally happy with that...I was really good today...I had my 2 ounces of yogart for breakfast, a protien drink between breakfast and lunch, had 2 ounces of cottage cheese for lunch, then another protien drink...and the kicker for dinner, I had a slice of sliced turkey and a slice of swiss cheese wrapped together (I know I am suppose to still be on mushies but I just needed something that I could actually chew)...It was quite a bit under my 2 ounces and I still got full and stopped before I was done and my son finished what was left...I chewed very very long and very good...Over all I believe it was a very good day for me!!! Tomorrow will be my 1 week post op and I am hoping to be at a 13 lb loss...Come on "lucky" 13!!!     Lets Do This Thang!!
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Boohoo!!!

Ok, so this morning wasnt what I expected....I was expecting to lose another 2 lbs and be at a loss of 13 lbs by this morning for my 1 week anniversary, but alas I gained 1 lb...So here I am at 10 lb loss, I ought to celebrate that 10 lbs cuz without the bad I wouldnt have even lost that...But in hopes of having a good loss for tomorrow I pushed myself this morning and went all the way with my workout...Did my entire 30 minutes on the gazzelle, it wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be...And I am going to push push push that water today...I dont like having a gain, but I know they are expected every once in a while but that doesnt mean that I have to like them...Ok, so lets just see how my plan works for me when I weigh in tomorrow morning, hopefully I will be smiling!!
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New Things

Well today has be kinda uneventful for me...I have been with my husband including dating time for little over 14 years and due to money reasons he has never financially spoil me its always been the other way around, but thank goodness for his raises...My husband actually went and bought brakes for my car this morning then gave me money for new underwear (which he has never done) and then took me out to dinner (which is the first time I have been actually out to eat since my sugery)...We went to Furrs Cafeteria so we could all have a taste of everything and it was great...I dont think that it did anything good for my weigh in tomorrow, but thats ok cuz it made him feel great to be able to do it for us...I had a couple bites of carrot slaw, a few bites of a salad, a couple bites of greens then a couple bites of bbq turkey and ribs...It was all wonderful...And with being able to get alot of different things and having a couple bites of each it was almost like cheating big time but I didnt...He noticed me smiling at him and wondered why, I let him know that this was the first time ever that he was able to do for me what I wouldnt have been able to do for myself and he loved it!!!
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Guess I lied

I just cant break myself from the scale...I guess I will just have to deal with it for now...My family gets much humor out of me now about the scale and about me being totally happy that I am getting 2 ounces of food and totally excited about it...I am not having much luck on staying on the mushies either...I was craving a salad so bad today that my husband went and got me a grilled chicken salad for dinner...I was very careful to weigh everything out and did not dare go over my 2 ounces...I was able to seperate out what was left for 4 more meals and used my new vacuum sealer food saver thing (hope it stays good)...I just felt the total need to chew my meal for a change I guess...They also (for now) are getting a kick out of me just asking for 1 bite of what they got for dinner off their plates, but that wont last very long..lol..They are kinda stingy with their food...Well, I am at 14 1/2 lbs today and am happy about that of course...I gotta go back to work in the morning, its terrible with Sunday being my Monday...But I already have my protien drink mixed and ready for breakfast and my 2 ounce salad is ready to go...I just am dreading all of the questions about it when I get back there...I tried only telling a few of my closest friends and my supervisor since I was needing off early the day of the surgery...But I let them know that I didnt want anyone else to know about it...But I guess it went over a few of their heads and everyone basically that I work with knows...So I will just deal with that tomorrow...Each day brings a new challenge!!
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