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Entries in this blog

 

Blah

Its been one of those blah weeks...It seems that I just keep teetering on the same couple pounds...Its real upsetting cuz last month I did so good and now nothing...I have been trying to do what was right for me and work out most of the time but its just not working...Maybe my body is just taking a quick break and will shift into gear next month...I am going to keep on trying and maybe get over that hump that I am stuck on

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Falling Off Again

This past week has been good for me...The weight has started coming off .5-1 lb at a time...I am getting excited and hope that it dont stop again, knowing that it will of course...I guess that my body just needed a little break and now has kicked back into gear...Since my last fill I have only been able to eat 4-5 ounces of food at a time and I am trying to get everything in that I need...I guess my dr knew what he was talking about when he said to not worry about getting in 1000 calories a day and to stay under that as much as possible...Its working again and I couldnt be happier...I have been working out most days and drinking all my water and just in general feeling really well...Only problem that I have is that none of my clothes are fitting me anymore, but I am going to wait until I absolutely have to to buy anything new so that I dont have to spend so much to replace them when I outgrow them...I want to get the smallest size possible so that I would be able to wear them when I am at goal...Even at goal I will be wearing XL shirts so if I order 2X here before long I will still be able to wear them too later on cuz I like my shirts big anyways and around the house they will just be comfy...Cant wait till the day that I can say that I have lost 100 lbs total so far....Only about 42 or so more lbs and I will be able to say that..One of my goals is to be under 200 lbs by my 1 year bandversary...but that would mean another about 58 lbs before June...I dont think I can do that, but I am going to try my hardest...At even 1 lb a week thats only about 21 lbs...So I might actually have to do this 1.5 year goal thing if I have to...Just as long as its still working I will be fine with it

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I dont get it

Ok, I dont get it!!! I have been on liquids since Thursday night and here it is Sunday and all I lost was 1 lb total for all of that!! I was just so sure that I would lose about 2-3 lbs during that phase...Oh well, I will take it as it comes but that sure is discouraging

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day after 4th fill

So far so good with my 4th fill...Of course I am still on liquids and they seem to be going down good...I have truely dedicated myself to lowering and seriously watching my portion intake and we will see how it goes once I start on solids tomorrow...So far it looks like I might have lost a little weight with me being on liquids since Thursday night...I even have lowered my standards and went and bought some diet salad dressing (man, I hate the taste of those)...and whats even worse I bought some diet mayo too (and thats just as bad)...We will see what I can accomplish and will do an official weigh in in the morning for my week...I dont plan on working out again till Monday afternoon or maybe even Sunday afternoon when I get home from work to give myself a needed break...I have been working out hard this week and my body is sore and is screaming for a break but it wont get much of one before it has to get on that god forsaken machine again!!! But I have a new mindset and am staying as low as I can on my calories and drinking lots of fluids...Im gonna be good, Im gonna be good

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4th fill

Ok, I just got back from getting my fourth fill...I am filled to 2.75 now...The dr said that I could not get another fill until after I had lost about another 30-40 lbs...Said that he had me as tight as I could go right now and that the opening was only about the size of a pencil lead...I asked about the green tea and if it could be counted as water intake and he said for sure that anything this is water based can count as water...I asked him if I was in the slow range for my weight loss right now and he said that I was actually right above normal...Said that normal for right now is about 45 and I am at 52...So I guess that I wont be going to see the dr for quite a long while...Another 30-40 lbs would put me about 80-90 lbs for a loss so that would be great...He said that my pouch was looking great and to not worry about my calorie intake as long as it stayed under 1000 a day...Said the more that I put into my body that the more that I had to work to burn it off...Also said that the "starvation mode" was a myth and to not worry about it...So, this was a different dr that I saw today and he had different things to say than my regular dr...I guess I can go ahead and try his ideas and see how they treat me...

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Grapefruit Diet

Today is my 4th day on the grapefruit juice diet...Just drinking 8 ounces of grapefruit juice 30 minutes before each meal...I cant really tell any difference in my weight at all from my scale...But of course the official weigh in will be on Wend when I get back to work...But as of right now drinking the grapefruit juice just adds extra calories to my diet that I dont really want to add...I did finally get my little computer thing working on my gazelle and found out that I have been going about 1.25 miles a day in my 30 minute workout 6 days a week which adds up to 7.5 miles a week...which I guess isnt that bad but I am glad to finally be able to add it all up and figure out what I am actually doing...I would like to get it up to about 10 miles a week if I can...I ought to be able to do that by just adding about 5-10 minutes a day here and there...Today I also found some lipton green tea with honey and lemon to go with 0 calories and added antioxidants...Anything to help me along will be good...By wend if I dont see a conderable difference from the week I may give up on the grapefruit juice cuz all it does is burn my tummy....We will see how it goes in the long run!!!

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Today

Well, today I didnt lose anything...I think that I went under my regular calorie count yesterday and messed up my bodys way of thought...So today I started counting my calories today to make sure that I got all of them in today...So far I am about 620 calories for today and still have dinner to go...I might end up having to have a little snack before dinner so that I can get a few extra calories...I just dont understand how my surgeon expects me to keep to about 1200 calories a day with just 3 small meals and no snacking...It just dont add up to me...Well, I have several girls at work on a diet now and they are doing a grapefruit diet along with a regular diet..So, its basically eating a grapefruit before each meal but if I were to do that I wouldnt be able to eat my meal...So they let me know that they had read that I could do the sugar free grapefruit juice or find some grapefruit pills to do before I ate my meals...So I will go out tomorrow and find me some sugar free grapefruit juice (if there is such a thing) and try it for several weeks and see how it does me...Something new to try and there is just telling if it will work or not but it never hurts to try

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I did it!!

I finally did it!!! I finally passed my 50 lb mark that I have been having an issue with for the last month...I am now at 52 lbs...I am so excited!!

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Weigh In

Ok, my official weigh in after the holidays and 2 weeks vacation of being at home and snacking is a total of 49 pounds...Which in the long run is great cuz that is only a half a pound gain over the holidays, but I was hoping to be a little over the 50 lb mark...But I am excited that I didnt gain more than I did...I started working out last week every day and that probably helped out alot...

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Bessing in disguise

Well, I guess that today was a blessing in disguise...I got to work for my first weigh in for 2 weeks after being off for vacations and the scale was out of batterys...Will try to get out today for some batterys and will try to weigh in tomorrow

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Scheduled Fill

Oh and to just plan ahead for my gain and getting back on track I went ahead and called in and scheduled an appointment for my 4th fill on January 19th...Maybe I can lose a couple pounds before then so I dont feel so bad about weighing in for them that day...I always feel insecure about my weight loss and like they are looking down on me if I havent lost enought during my fills or not (not that they actually do or not or make me feel that way, thats just the way I feel)...So, come on 4th fill...I hope 4 is my lucky number

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Christmas Vacation

Well, my Christmas vacation will be over on the 31st and I have got to really be honest with myself and expect about a 4-5 lb gain...Its been terrible being home with my son for the last week and a half with all the snack foods around and having to feed him all the time...I just havent been able to pass up the snacks...By Sunday tho when I finally get to go back to work and weigh in and see what damage I have done I am going to be back to eating right and trying to get my workout back into my schedule...I hate that I have done this to myself over the holidays but I guess that a little bit of a gain is expected by some...I just have no will power right now, but the eating holidays are over and its time to get back on track!! I have no excuse after Sunday!!!

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One More Day

Just 1 more day till Christmas!!! Then no more sweet goodies around the house to nibble on for another year!!! I can finally get back to eating completely right and doing whats right for me and my band!!! But as for now, baking Santa cookies for tonight and planning dinner...I actually got out about an hour ago to the grocery store and oh man is it packed...There wasnt even walking room there today...As for tomorrow, I am tired of cooking and we are going out to a late lunch to a restraunt buffet with turkey and all the trimmings so everyone can have exactly what they want and no clean up for me to do at home!!!! Thank GOD!!

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Working Out

I finally started working out again since I am on vacation and trying to get back on track..I worked out Monday, Tuesday and Wend then rearranged a room in the house on Thursday (which I consider a workout) then worked out today...I am doing 30 minutes a day on my gazelle...I have been trying to eat right and paying close attention to my portions...Of course from my scale at home I really cant get an accurate reading on whats going on with my weight since its different from the one that I actually go by at work...So, until I go back to work on the 31st I guess its all going to be up in the air on how I am doing considering any loss...But I am going to keep on doing what I am doing and hope that its doing me right!! I will have an official weigh in on the 31st and hoping that I will be dancing around the room at work that day!!! Hopefully I wont be in tears!!! I want a total of atleast 53-55 lbs that day!!! Today is my 6 month banversary and I cant help but to be a little bit depressed about my loss, but I guess I should be exstatic about "lets say 49.5 lbs) in 6 months...Lets see, that breaks down to about 8.25 lbs a month...so I guess thats not really that bad...I was actually adding up on the calendar how much I actually lost each month and I dont believe that it feel under about 4 lbs a month when I was being kinda bad...This is alot more than I would have been losing without the band...If I look at it day by day or week by week I depress myself totally about it all, but in the long run if I look at the numbers I ought to be totally happy, so why cant I be happy??? I guess that is just something else that I need to think about and work on...Nothing seems to excite me or make me happy anymore...I would say it was just the holiday season giving me the blues but its been this way for a while now and I cant officially blame the season...I guess that I could do the antidepressants again, but they never seem to help any...I have been on many different kinds at many points in my life but everything just stays the same for me...I need to find some happiness

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Vacation Time

Its vacation time for me!!! Off work till December 31st...I am hoping to get back on track and start eating right and working out again while I am off...It will be my 6 mnth bandversary on the 22nd of this month and I was kinda hoping for alot more than what I have lost lately...I got really really close to 50 lbs then just totally ruined it myself..I dont have a clue why I keep sabataging myself...Its almost like mentally I am trying to just keep myself safe by staying at the weight that I am at...I just dont know whats going on...I really want to lose the weight, its just my mind it telling me something different lately and I dont like it at all...From today on, I am going to be back on track with eating right...No snacks, no sweats, no bread (regardless of how good the package says it is for you)...Lots more water and starting to work out again this afternoon after I get my son home from school..I want to go into the new year with an entirely new outlook on this thing and get the weight off...I wanted to be at goal by the end of the 1st year, but that would mean a total of about 18 lbs each month for the next 6 months and I have been doing good at just 2-5 a month lately...I want to get as close as I can, but its hard working out the right amount of food I am suppose to be eating without going into the starvation mode...Its all a balancing trick that I just havent gotten down yet...Oh well, I will work on it and see what I can do and go in for another fill in about another month and see it that helps me along my broken road

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My gain

well, my gain from yesterday wasnt as bad as i thought it was going to be...on my weigh in this morning it was only 1 1/2 lbs that i gained...I need to get all of that under control

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Dont know whats going on

Well, I dont know what happened this morning...I woke up and from the scales at home it looks like I have gained about 3 lbs...I was about ready to pass out...Of course my official weigh in is done on the scale at work so I will find out tomorrow morning what exactly is going on but I sure dont feel good about what it appears to be...I thought maybe I was stopped up so I took a laxative earlier to see if I could resolve my issue that way but it hasnt kicked in yet, but I am sure it will when I am like in the middle of the grocery store or something like that...lol...Oh well, I will get back on here tomorrow and document what I have done to myself...:cry

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.5 lbs away

I have been waiting and waiting to hit the 50 lbs mark on my loss...Today I got to .5 lbs away and ruined it by having 2 slices of pizza...Oh well, I will get here in the next couple days and I will be totally excited...Its really hard during the holidays to actually lose weight but thank goodness for the band or I would totally be gaining alot during this time...I have been averaging about .5-1 lbs a week so I guess that I ought to be happy with that because that mean eventually its all going to come off

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6 month bandversary coming up

Well, my 6 month bandversary will be here on December 22nd...I was hoping to be at a goal of 250 by then...I seem to be a little stuck on 264...I dont forsee anyway to get rid of 14 lbs in 11 more days...I will have to work really hard to get even close to where I wanted to be by then...I will have to see what I can do by then...I am at 48.5 lbs and will be just totally excited to be at 50 lbs in the next week...With all of the holidays surrounding me I havent been having much luck on sticking to my diet and eating right...But come January 1st I am going to be going hard and strong...I was hoping so much to be at my goal by my 1 year bandiversary but thats 74 lbs in the next 6 months...I might have to make some new realistic goals and go for the 2 year mark just to keep my sanity

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Last OB Appointment?

Well, i had another follow up with my ob today to try to get all my "stuff" settled...She said that my biopsy had been fine and that all of my problems were deffinately due to the depo shot fighting with my band...Now that all of my depo is out of my body all of the bleeding has stopped...So after a mandatory pregnancy test (which i thought would probably doom me today) she went ahead and inserted the minera iud...So, I am now set for birth control for the next 5 years and dont have to worry about the estrogen getting out of hand again since its estrogen free...The only thing wrong right now is that I am cramping really really bad, but the ob says that after the insert moistens and softens up I will feel alot better...I had to take 2 maxium strength midol about an hour ago cuz the cramping was getting out of hand...I am hoping that I feel alot better by tomorrow cuz I bought my mom tickets to see the Rocketts at the Nokia Theater tomorrow afternoon for part of her Christmas present and I right now dont feel like getting up and doing alot of walking around...Its hard enough just sitting still and feeling the pain...Oh well, like the ob said it will just take time then it will be like it was never there...I am just glad to have all of this behind me...I have basically been seeing a dr every friday since the first of October...Atleast the bleeding has stopped, that alone is joyous enough...Now back on track I can try to get my mind back onto working out and losing some of this weight, well after the cramping stops of course

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Thanksgiving leftovers

Well, I still have my few extra pounds from thanksgiving on me...I have been trying desperately to get them off but they just keep hanging around...I figured with this last fill that I would just be dropping weight, but I guess not...Right now its just driving me crazy...Since thanksgiving dinner I have really been trying to be good and do whats right, but we have the dreaded leftovers in the fridge...I have been trying to stick to the turkey, green bean cassarole and the pea salad that I had made...I thought I was making some good choices...Maybe it will just take a few more days for my body to get back together and figure out what its suppose to be doing...Dang holidays are the worst!!

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Night of 3rd fill

For the first time since I have had the band I am actually feeling real restriciton with liquids even...This has never happened before...I have heard lots of people talking about having to sip sip sip their drinks and it taking an hour or 2 just to get down their protein drinks in the mornings...Well, now I know what they are talking about...I just had a protein drink for dinner and after 2 small drinks I had to actually take a break before I could drink anymore...There was no room left for anything else...And a couple hours ago I almost got sick off of a half cup of small curd cottage cheese...I am really feeling it now...I guess its a good thing that I am finally to this stage and finally have real real restriction...I am totally scare about what is going to happen when I start back on solids on Sunday...If I was having PBs before on my last fill I can just imagine how much I am going to have to slow down on my eating and how much more I am going to have to chew...I think that I might have to add a couple snacks between meals now just to make sure that I am getting enough calories cuz right now I get real full real quick...Will just have to wait and see how it goes in the days ahead...Hoping for some real weight loss this time!!!!

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3rd fill

Ok, I went in and had my 3rd fill this morning...Now at a 2.5 in my 4 cc band...I actually saw my dr today and he did my fill, I havent seen him since my follow up after my surgery so it was nice to see him again...Well, at a 2.5 my barium went down very very slow and had to swollow several different times to get it to go down...But the dr says that i have lost 13 lbs since my last fill about 2 months ago and was totally happy with my loss...I guess that their expectations arent as high as the ones with the band...I thought that I was going really slow on my loss lately and had been at a stand still for several weeks without a loss of anything basically, but as long as he says I am doing great then I am not going to be all depressed about it...Well, I am on the thick liquids till Sunday morning and hopefully that will help jump start my loss...I just had a Dannon Light and Fit yogart and it went down really good and tasted great...I will have to see how the fill treats me after it has time to settle in

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Working Out Again

I decided 3 days ago that I was tired of waiting for the ob to release me to where I could workout again...I was tired and depressed of not losing anything and just sitting there and gaining and losing the same couple pounds...So I decided to go ahead and start working out again...So its been almost a month that I havent worked out so I had to start back from the beginning trying to get use to it again...The last 3 days I have been able to get thru my 25-30 minutes a day but its just about killing me...I will get use to it again and it will seem like nothing to me...Right now I am still use to the fact that I was able to just come home and lay down infront of the tv for the evening instead of making time to work out...Went right back to bad habits...So, I dont think that I have really lost anything but maybe a lb or 1.5 in the last few days that I seemed to have gained...But I will be happy to start back where I left off...Its all in getting my mind set again and building up my strength...But I have been feeling better about myself the last few days just knowing that I actually did work out...Thats about it for now...Atleast I am getting back on the right track again:clap2:

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