Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
$99 Yearly Supply Alert! 🌈 "1 per Day!" Bariatric Multivitamins
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
  • entries
    38
  • comments
    201
  • views
    10,672

Entries in this blog

 

Work.Play.Live.Love.Food.

I remember it took me forever to feel better after my surgery about two weeks. I read someone's blog this morning which made me think I should blog myself today.   I work with food, play with food, create with food and YES I dream in food with all kinds of textures and colors. I am also addicted to food! I am now 67 weeks into this journey, 1 year and 3 months and I have had to re learn how to think and deal with food, handle food, eat food and chew my food, the thought of food, the taste of food, the smell of food all the food triggers and the reminders of food that have brought me to where I am today. Sounds like a confession LOL. I must say I ask for help every day.   I always say as a reminder to myself I must eat real food. Not fake food my body cannot digest. Nothing packaged or overly processed this has helped me regain my understanding of how I got this way and how my body needs food to work properly. I strive for a healthy and clean food plan today with lots of fresh cooked and raw veggies and real Proteins not the fake ones that is all my body craves now. That is so weird because I used to be a starchy, crunchy, salty and sugary addict.   Get this I dream about Broccoli soup now. I am now being nourished with whole foods that my body is able to use and I do not have the struggle anymore with the elimination process if you get my meaning. I do cook a lot and freeze my own foods in portions for later use. I make sure I eat enough Protein and never drink with my meals ever. I find I stay full way longer. I have had one soda in my LB journey and it was because I needed something to hold. I kept stirring it and as it flattened I was able to drink it. I do not drink soda anymore I just do not need it, waste of money I could buy on clothes.   I have kept off my 110 pounds and I think I would like to lose more but I am in no hurry. I have a new wardrobe that fits and if I take off more I will need to buy more clothes and I am not ready for that. I wear a size 10/12 in almost everything. I feel small, and normal, I am not the heaviest one in the room now ever. I even swim and do water exercises and I am not the whale I used to be, I feel very comfortable in the water now. I have lost so many inches with the exercises I do and people always say don't lose anymore now or you will waste away. Like RIGHT me ever waste away that will never happen!   I have a 10 cc band and I have had about 6 fills and about 3 un-fills to get me to my sweet spot. I can eat anything I want now. The amount of what I can eat has changed as well. I do better with Veggies and Proteins than I do with muffins and breads. Although I can eat them I must go extremely slow. I love my life as a thin person with a better handle on how I work, play and live with food in my life. Thank you to all my LAP-BAND® friends who have encouraged me along my journey, I know I could not have done this without you. I am enjoying this crisp Fall day. Some Pray for Snow! Best wishes imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

4
 

Wish me Happy Birthday!

Please Wish Me Happy Birthday!   It’s my Birthday and I will do what I want! Sound familiar!! Eat what I want!! I used too eat all I wanted and then some. Now I just eat what I want and what my band will allow and I am very happy with that.   Yes the new me has lost 110 pounds and is healthier then I ever imagined thanks to my Lap Band. I am going on a boat to a beach today. I will be wearing a bathing suit OMG. I would never have done this in past weighing in at over 250 pounds, thats just ugly. I am just a little feather now. I love it. I feel small, I look small and I am smaller than most of the people I know. I have never been so HAPPY in all my LIFE. I am living today.   I wishes all my band buddies and anyone who may read this to know it has not been easy! Nothing in this life has ever been easy for me. I have done this with the help from all of you and my band. Thanks for being there to help me. Best wishes imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

15
 

The Long Lap Band WAIT Begins!!!!!!

Now I have a date and it just seems so far far far away to me. But just how far far far away is the NEW BIRTHDAY date? 7.20.09 Well July 20, 2009 is 55 days exactly away from today. I'm 8 weeks until LB. I am too lazy to figure out the hours and minutes. LOL   I have so enjoyed reading everyones blog. I just figure if I start one then maybe my time will go by faster. At least it will keep my paws out of the cookie jar!:thumbup: I need something to help me control all those urges to consume mass quantities of food when I am alone and that is a lot of the time, amazing I am alone that much.....   I find myself cooking when I am alone. I am roasting plum tomatoes as I write this...I am following a recipe from the food network. I love to cook but I have never made BROTH or STOCK so I know I am going to need help.   I have made a few nice friends on this site and I hope that I can stay connected. The power of the computer is so interesting to me. I have this one favorite Blog I read everyday. She was banded a few months ago and has such funny stories I just look forward to reading everyday, I relate to her so well. We have offspring around the same age. Same almost everything it is scary. Keeping my mind open and mouth shut for today. I'm going to have a real weight loss day. imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

4
 

Thank You, My Lap Band Family!!!

Thank You, My Lap Band Family!!!   I am one week out from my full body "Nip and Tuck" It's over, I am WELL!! I am two years out from my Lap Band weight loss tool procedure, I survived!! I am three times stronger today than yesterday!! I am four times healthier than the day before!! I am five foot two inches tall, I am short, and I am small!! I am six times a day on heavy duty medicine, to take the REAL pain away!! I am seven health issues better today and FOREVER!!   Obesity (disordered eating, suffered for more then 40 years) Sleep Apnea (suffered with and used a machine for 10 years) Sleep Aid dependancy (30 year psychological struggle) High blood pressure (suffered and took medicine for 6 years) Knee and joint pain (suffered with got shots and medicine for 6 years) Migraines (suffered for 20 or more years) Diabetes (was given the warning signs, I took as a death sentence)   I am on eight ml Roxicet an Oral Formula, I am feeling no pain!! I am on my ninth Life!! Best wishes, I believe do you? imaluckydog                            
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

6
 

supercalifragilisticexpia lidocious

Anyone remember Mary Poppins? OK I'm Old.. I was Banded 6.29.09 and my First Fill 7.29.09   I feel a little like Mary Poppins right about now as I float into my Doctors office today for my four week HAPPY VISIT. I know I feel lighter but I did not know how much lighter. I do not own a scale. I was not even sure I would get a fill? I thought it was to be 6 weeks out and I am only 4 weeks post surgery.   I look in the mirror and I see a fat person. I have had to buy new bras and new clothes. I have gone down two sizes. Yikes!! My family has paid me a lot of complements and I do take them well. It does make me feel good. I still feel like a fat person. I see my fat self in the mirror. I hope this will change! I will need to make that happen. I am working on it......   Although I was light on my toes when I walked in, I flew out as HIGH as a KITE when I left.   My nurse said "are you here for a Fill?" I said you tell me? I had to fill out a one page questionnaire, took about 20 minutes. It was almost like a test. How much this do you eat? How much that? Does this happen when? and are you allergic to anything OMG!! How many times have I had to tell them this stuff. I think they do this because it buys them time in between patients.   Today before I left home I weighed my shoes so I would know how many ounces to subtract from my weight. My sneakers weighed 3.3 ounces I am a nut case, who in their right mind weighs their shoes??? I have an old food scale my husband uses when he catches fish. LOL   Ok the Fill. DO NOT READ if you get squeamish OK...Lay down on the bed and push your stomach out as the nurse pushes the needle in. She said it's a 2 inch needle that goes into my port area. No, I could not look!! I get squeamish too!!! Put your arms over your head and she said breathe normally. YA OH RIGHT!!! Oh that's if she can find my port!!! She was trying to be nice. I have a lot of adipose tissue (you know FAT) and she has the needle in and it takes almost 10 minutes (no kidding) to find the correct angle. I keep breathing. She is being nice and I am saying I'm just Fat!!! I am not sure I enjoy this experience AT all. The nurse was so patient. I am sure if I had said "oh forget it" she probably would have!!! I am glad she hung in there and gave me a Fill I will NEVER EVER FORGET!!!!   Here is the deal.. I have a 10-cc Allergen Band. At surgery time I got a 2-cc primer Fill. Today, She gave me 2-cc's I now have 4-cc's. Only liquids for 24 hours. Soft foods for 2 to 3 days after or how ever I feel on the third day. It is recommended I continue to eat slow and to chew, chew, chew to Beat the Band. The nurse said I may not feel any restriction for about a week. She said just take it easy and go by how you feel. I am very excited with a loss of 10 pounds. Add that to the 37 I lost / or misplaced before because that is what I lost first post op happy visit. I am down a total of 47 pounds. Where did it GO? NO I DO NOT MISS IT :smilielol5:   Excersize is not my favorite thing I walk and that is all I do, I WALK. I am making good food choices and I feel full most of the time. My head does get hungry but I do NOT FEED IT!! THAT IS MY MONSTER WITHIN. I want to be small so I eat small. I am what I eat. FRIENDS Thank you to everyone who has given me tips and helpful remarks. I am finding this journey to be more manageable than I had envisioned. I am creating my destiny.   All I can say is: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

8
 

Successful Two Year Bandversary and Nip and Tuck

It is my two year Bandversary. I was banded June 29, 2009 and I was running around Disney World in Florida with my daughter less than two weeks after being banded. I have as much if not more energy today as I did back then. Being banded was so exciting.   This past Monday was my full body "Nip and Tuck". Yup, I went for it!! It was considered a medical necessity and my insurance paid for three fourths of it and I paid the rest because it was deemed cosmetic. I probably would have paid for it all because I wanted it that bad. It is better to have the insurance pay for it. I can buy new clothes with the money I saved.   I will need new bras for sure. I have gone from a DD to a B/C I am looking pretty perky!   My waist is no longer a double muffin top if you know what I mean. It will take a few weeks for all the swelling to go down. I am sore but the pain medicine is working just fine. I was so scared to have this done and now that it is I am trying to figure out why I was worried sick about it. I can get up and walk around and I can do stairs and sit up for a spell. I am tired and need to rest but that goes hand in hand with any surgery. I have to lay low for at least 2 weeks. I can do that.   All is well and if you have any questions I'd be glad to help you out for imaluckydog just playing with my BAND. Best wishes
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

2
 

Succeed!! Be a Winner at Losing :-)

Succeed!!   S = Set a goal. Not necessarily a "number" goal. Can be any goal. Like, I want to bend over and tie my shoes w/o holding my breath! I want to make it up this hill. Whatever.   U = Use the tools available to you. Support groups, the internet, books, blogging and veterans....your band is not your only tool.   C = Create a game plan. Make menus and schedule your workouts, etc into your week.   C = Consider yourself. You know what your weak points and strong points are. You know what you can handle and what you can't. You know when your hungry/full/emotional.....analyze and consider yourself. Write about it.   E = Eliminate excuses. If you're not supposed to eat it (sugars, carbs, chips, cookies, cakes) don't buy it. Do not "negotiate" with yourself (if I work out for an hour, I'll give myself a cookie!) or justify food (I'm on my period/I'm stressed).   E = Excercise!! Working out gives you that little bit of added wiggle room for when you do break down and have sugar or something you're not supposed to. It also tones and firms, helping with excess skin. It is possible to be an unhealthy thin person. Do you want to be healthy or thin?   D = Determine that you will SUCCEED! You're the only one that can make the changes you are making and stick to them. It's nice to have cheerleaders on the sideline, but they're not the ones that play and eventually win the game.   I am two weeks away from my 1 year Bandversary. I have never been so excited in my life. I eat Real Food. Not too much and mostly plants with Proteins FIRST! I am now 2 pounds away from being a member of the 100 Pounder Club. I am psyched.   I want to first Thank myself for being kind to myself and taking care of "me" for the past year when all I ever did was to take care of everyone else. I took care of me and everyone else survived as well.   I want to thank everyone on this site who has helped me. The blogs I read are all so meaningful to me and most of all meaningful to those who write them. I always learn something. I love to write on blogs it keeps my paws out of the cookie jar.   I am on my way out to enjoy this sunny beautiful thinner day. I am a 98 pound Loser in one year, Go me. I feel great! Best wishes to all imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

2
 

Staying Mindful a Traveling Day

One women trying to get from one place to another today. It will take more than one taxi, two planes, and 3 meals to get me there. My thoughts for the day are....   I am almost at my one year mark lost over 100 pounds. What I have found is I have "disordered eating" I can only speak for myself. I have food problems, major issues with food, and food plays head games with me 24-7 day and night.   AA does have a workable philosophy so does OA and I do use it mindfully, although I do not go to any meetings. For some it becomes a way of life.   My band tool is my way of life now and forever!! If I cheat the only one I hurt is yourself. I gave this tool to myself as a last ditch effort to save my life from my own self destruction. A year ago I was 250 plus and a size 24 plus on a good day.   I try everyday to make the best possible choices with food. I sure can eat anything I want even after many fills and un-fills. Today, I make better and more healthier food choices. I have Forgiven myself and I have moved to the next level of this game of life. Living   I last weighed 148 and wear a size 10. I am just trying to get from point A to point B today. Traveling can be so stressful and I will try my best today with all the tools I have in place to guide me. I will believe in the power of positive thoughts today. Best wishes imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

2
 

Second Group Psych class today

Just a sec to talk about my journey to "Bandlandia" as some a coined it. I am so looking forward to underland or onederland soon. I think that means under 200 lbs. I need to take off over 100. Our hospital has us (LB and GBP patients) take these classes for 4 weeks in a row to prepare us. I feel they have been very helpful so far. Last week we discussed mindful and mindless eating which is what I do every day. I am now changing to be more MINDFUL. I have to drive about 45 minutes to 1 hour depending on traffic to the hospital for the hour and a half class. I hope the traffic will be light today.   Ok, so I am up early today to send my son and honey off on a 5 day fishing trip. They drove away with boat en-tow. I am going to miss them. Daughter is still sleeping not waking her yet! It is early did I mention that!! I got up at 5:30 with the boys. They have been packed for days I did not have to do much for them. Now they are off and I find myself with way too much time and no laundry to fold.:crying: I am telling myself everything is going to alright. I have a hard time being alone with myself, I never thought much about it until now. I have used food as a friend and comfort. Now that I am thinking about MINDFUL eating... I am keeping my paw out of the cooking jar. As a matter of fact that cookie jar is GONE. LOL:rolleyes: I do not miss it much. I am now filling my time reading blogs and taking notes from people who write them. I am doing OK (great) on the 10 pounds they asked me to loose and have taken off 17. But not much has come off for about 3 weeks. Hope everyone has a GREAT day. I am going to keep blogging it helps. imaluckydog for sure
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

2
 

Psychology 101 for Bandlandia beginners

Hello Everyone on this “Bandlandia Journey” Might I just say Love.Life.Lilly and the Pursuit of Happiness! Would be nice... The Journey is now about me.   I sat through the third of four Group Psychology sessions today at my hospital The Lahey Clinic in Burlington Massachusetts. The first class was on Mindful vs. Mindless eating, the second was on Mindfulness and Triggers for Eating: Reacting vs. Responding; and today the third class was on Physiological vs. Psychological Hunger. The one and a half hour classes go by real fast. This week there were fewer people than last week. Some of us have surgery dates, others do not, some are just trying to figure this all out and are not even sure they want surgery. Some have to loose 30 to 40 pounds and others do not. One man got his date canceled because he failed to loose the weight he had to. That would bum me out.   For me my date is July 20,2009 and counting. It is Just a little over one month away. I spoke with my sister and she is very supportive she had GBP surgery 7 years ago and it changed her life. I am so ready for change. I am taking small sips, small bites and mindful eating has begun. I have started to PRACTICE the steps that have been suggested to me, smaller portions and but I have not cut back on the caffeine yet and I still drink with a straw. I will need to work on both of these and more. Thanks for all the help and encouragement along the way. I am for sure one extremely lucky dog!!!!!:thumbup:
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

2
 

One Year Bandversary! I lost more than 100 pounds

What can happen in one Year? This is what happened to me   I was banded on June 29, 2009 it was a beautiful sunny Monday. I actually got a call that Friday and my surgery was rescheduled a month early. Go figure how does that happen? Today is one year from that glorious day. I can not believe where the time has gone!!! I am in awe of what my body and I have accomplished together in a year. I can say for sure, I have never been as Happy, as I am today!!!! Or can I remember ever being this healthy and thin. Yes, I said it. I am THIN. I am NORMAL. I am HAPPY.... and I LIKE IT...   Living with a Lap band has changed my life. The changes were small in the beginning and with change came many new and exciting experiences and huge weight loss my goal of being able to go skiing again with my family came true as well.   I can remember not wanting to let go of my food ways. The OLD HABITS the amounts of food, the types of food, I thought about food and still do all the time. Well, I found other things to do like blogging because I do not eat at my computer. It was a gift to be able to write my feelings and share my thoughts. I even got some responses and made new blogging friends. Nancy, I love you and all of these people even though I do not know who they are. We all had one thing in common.   I would not be where I am today if it were not for their wisdom and their support along my life journey with LB. Thanks to everyone out there I appreciate your comments and suggestions, this site is so helpful.   My bandversary!! Yes this is it. I so wanted to be able to say I lost 100 pounds. I have actually lost 103 pounds as of this morning. Yes, I waited to see if I could make my personal head set goal. I am OK with this and have been for a few months now weight loss has slowed down. Maintenance is a little tricky I have gone up and down and given this, I still have done quite well. My body has a set weight it wants to be and I just need to listen to my own body now and again and continue to make the best choices.   Fifteen days after my surgery I took my daughter to Disney World. We ran around the park for a week. I felt great I had no problems. I had a little pain in the upper most incision but that was it, felt like stretching pains only. I never had so much fun in my life I felt like a little kid again. I had this new rebirth kind of feeling. I could eat anything I wanted, but I didn’t. I followed the rules. I stopped drinking liquids with all meals and never ever had any kind of soda. That was very hard for me. I used to drink soda 24-7. I had a little withdrawal. It passed quickly, took about 5 days. Then I didn’t even think about it. I sometimes miss it a little today. Although I will not drink any.   I found my body just did not need the amounts of food I used to eat. I started eating less and less, I just needed less. I also ate vegetables and foods I did not like before like proteins and yogurts. I only ate junk before and this was why I weighed in at over 250 pounds before surgery.   My first fill was about one month July 29 exactly four weeks out. I had a little fluid placed in my band it was called a primer during surgery. My fill Nurse was the aggressive type. I could feel restriction about four days after my fill. I am not sure why it took so long to kick in, but it did.   My second fill came on August 26, again four weeks from the first. Four days later I felt the restriction again. It feels like if you take another bite you know you will not be able to swallow it. It is a full feeling a push away from the table and call it quits feeling. Now I did not always push away like I was supposed to. Yes, I have a food addiction and the food calls me by name and I love the taste and smells and the chewing I love it all.   If the feeling comes STOP EATING and STOP NOW do not pass GO as you will never be able to collect the 200 dollars. Because you will be stuck over a bowl or over a zip baggie in solitary confinement until it passes. By the way I have on hand in my purse even today a LARGE ZIP TOP BAG. I never leave home without one.   I was feeling good by my second fill. I felt comfortable with how much and what I was eating. I was following all the Bandster rules like there was no tomorrow. l was going to be the best Bandster out there. I was afraid to make a mistake and I stayed way away from all those foods everyone has trouble with. I must admit at first I missed bread the most. I choose not to eat white bread or anything white for that matter. The Lack of nutrients in white, I like nutrient dense foods today and lots of color and textures.   I eat Real Food, Not too much, Mostly plants with Proteins first. It sure does work for me. I wanted to be small so I eat small and it has worked for me. Yes, I did and do have HEAD HUNGER all the time. It needs to be controlled. Mind over matter helps. I practice mindful eating and I go real slow my fork goes down to rest while I rest, talk, and participate in the dinner conversation. I also listen a lot more at meal times.   My third fill came on the 4th of October. I put off an earlier appointment I just was enjoying life and felt good doing what I was doing. My nurse was aggressive again and I was as tight as I ever wanted to be. I have learned the new meaning of tight I MEAN TIGHT. My stress also had a way of tightening my band as well.   I am not sure how I lasted as long as I did being so TIGHT. I was a little depressed when I could not eat the foods I wanted to eat. I had food withdrawal and I was sad at the lost of my comfort in food. There was NO MORE COMFORT in food any more, those days are now gone.   I had to eat to keep myself alive. I counted calories and had to make sure I was keeping to 1,200 calories a day. If I did not I felt lazy and slow and had no energy. I wrote everything down I was eating. I prepared all my own foods I hardly ever ate out. I found a blog with amazing recipes “Thanks Lena” and I tried almost all of them. My food became interesting and I enjoyed eating my own cooking because I knew what was in it.   I created a goal back in Psych 101 that I wanted to go skiing when I lost enough weight to be able to do it again. Last time I skied was 21 years ago. My family loves to ski and I was bound and determined to do it this winter. I went skiing 10 times it felt GREAT!!   November came and went no fill needed, friends and family started to notice I was losing weight. I found it hard to take the complements at first I was sensitive and then I got real used to hearing people tell me how good I looked and to be careful not to gain it back. LOL I never told anyone. They have no idea. I pray I never gain it back.   December I started skiing and passed on the fills I was doing just fine. Losing and feeling great with every bite of exercise, I just loved the new found energy and fresh outdoors. The exercise was fun once again.   February busy winter skiing and traveling, March kept busy as it flew by.   April came in like a lion and I was hit with mega amounts of work and stress like no other. I had not had a fill for 5 months and my band began to tighten all on it’s own. Stress can cause the band to tighten. I got myself all worked up and was unable to relax. The muscles got the best of me. I started to have acid reflux at night time and while prone, it was a scary feeling. The food was coming back more often and I was uncomfortable so that I got a slight un fill in the end of April. I figured I was fine and one week later I was asking for another un fill. I had about four weeks where I was much more relaxed. It was a nice break. I was normal and just kept doing what I had been doing all along. I am glad I did not gain and all stayed the same.   The band is a fabulous tool. I felt like I was on vacation and then I said enough of this and lets go get a slight fill in May. I am now at what I am feeling is my sweet spot. It took a while to get here but when you are here all is well. It is all about the proper adjustment and feeling your best. I can go out to eat today and feel just fine. I make healthy choices I have had lots of practice. I know I can live the rest of my life in happiness now.   May has been a good month to look back at how far I have come on this Happiness Journey. I have never been happier in my life. I can buy clothes from any store and all the clothes fit. I wear color and lots of it. I used to only wear black and have only one outfit to wear. Now I have ten or more to choose from. I love my new wardrobe. I am so Happy to be me today. I trust this tool I know I can work with it. It does keep me honest, and most importantly I must be honest with myself I am the only one that matters.   I am wishing myself a Happy Bandversary with many more to come. Best wishes on your Happiness Journey imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

11
 

ONE MONTH from TODAY!!! The count down begins.

Well today June 20 marks 28 years of marriage to the most wonderful person I know. My husband, he has been there for me through all my ups and downs and there have been MANY. Over 200 plus pounds lost and gained again, again and again. He loves me and says “I keep exciting him.” How sweet!!! He is a good man no question about that.   What would be exciting for me will be to loose the extra pounds once and for all. I know it will be hard and I am ready to work for it. I worked hard for it every other time. I followed Diet Work Shop, WW, Cambridge, Weight Loss clinic, Alli, the SEA Food Diet, You know the one where you SEE FOOD and EAT it. LOL I followed all these to the letter and they did all work for me, maybe they worked for you too? This is what I want...   I want to dance. I want to eat normal. I want to think normal. I want to look normal. I want to FEEL normal. I want to see myself as NORMAL. I want to feel sexy again. I want to look sexy again. I want to buy clothes off the rack. I want those clothes to FIT me. I want to be looked at, not look through. I want to be successful. I want off blood pressure medicine. I want off my sleep apnea machine. I want my normal body back, the one I had when I met my husband. I was NORMAL I DO remember how it feels. I HAVE FORGIVEN MYSELF.   Do I want MUCH? I think not!!   I have made the decision to have Lap Band Surgery. I found a wonderful doctor and he has done other surgery for me. I trust him and he is the best surgeon at this hospital. I am ready. It was suggested to me over a year ago and I still was not ready for it. I am now. The count down begins, My Birthday is July 18 and I will be 53. My New BIRTHDAY band date is July 20, 2009. If all goes as planned.   I have chosen not to tell everyone, only my husband, son almost 21, daughter 19 and sister who had GBPS 7 years ago that changed her life, that I am having surgery. I have 100 percent support on this. I do not want to answer all the questions. I have thought long and hard on this. There is a RIGHT time for everything.   I have enjoyed reading and learning from everyone on this site. This site is amazing! I find myself not eating because I am at my new computer. That is a plus. Best wishes to all the BANDSTERS out there. Thanks for all the support. imaluckydog Kathy
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

4
 

Oh It?s a Wonderful Life!!!

Oh It’s a Wonderful Life!!!   I had lunch with a LB sister this afternoon I met her in my psych class. She made for me some wonderful African Chicken with Couscous. I had no idea Couscous had so much protein? Go figure, the things I learn in a day. It’s a Wonderful Life!!!   I had my second fill today and it gets easier to have a fill. YES, it does get easier trust me!!!! It’s a Wonderful Life!!!   My first fill took almost 20 minutes, she could not find my port and I dislike long needles poking into me and causing me pain, unless they are for sewing. It’s a Wonderful Life!!!   The LB helps me to make excellent food choices today. I am on a 48 hour liquid and soft food stage after my fill today. That is a bummer because my husband caught a 200 pound Tuna and we were going to have tuna steaks for dinner opps!! Change of plan for me. Oh well it will keep, it is that fresh. I just love a good liquid drink. LOL It’s a Wonderful Life!!!   My son had his Twenty First birthday today so it is a special day for me too. I am starting to lose all the baby FAT remember he is 21. I have lost and gained his fat for 21 years. It’s a Wonderful Life!!!   I am now working on losing the baby fat from my daughter. It’s a Wonderful Life!!!   It’s a Wonderful Life!!! I have taken off 50 pounds.   People who have not seen me in a while run up and say “wow you look like a different person”. I still see the fat dog in the mirror GO Figure. I put on a classy party dress last night I saved to wear one day. It cost me a small fortune, I am glad I got to wear it again. What a treat it was even a little roomy. It’s a Wonderful Life!!!   I got my band a month early and that was so exciting, June 29, 2009. I have been banded now for two months. I wake up with a smile on my face and I go to bed with a smile on my face. I eat what I like to eat. I eat slow and plan ahead. Do not drink with meals and I stay full for a long time. I eat little if any sugar. I have not had a Fresca in two months. I do not miss it any more. It’s a Wonderful Life!!!   I even saw my Doctor today and I called across the hall how much I love him. He was on his way to another patient and smiled at me and I said all I do is smile now. I was only seeing the fill nurse. But I felt I had to let him know how much he means to me. I have a happy, healthy, interesting, and exciting new life.   It’s a Wonderful Life!!! and imaluckydog Kathy I can’t wait for tomorrow. I love playing with the band.
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

9
 

Nine months

Nine months   Wow what can I say but this LB Journey has been BETTER than any amusement park feeling my insurance could buy!! A lot can happen in 9 months. I lost the weight of a small child or young adult for that matter 97 pounds. Wow I FEEL AND LOOK SO DIFFERENT!   I was banded on June 29, 2009. One month early to my surprise. I had all the pre-op work done and I was just doing my job of reading everything I could about LAP-BAND®. I was making sure I was an expert on the subject before I even got banded, Ha Ha LOL I knew absolutely nothing!!! That was of REAL importance to me and my amazing journey. YOU WILL LEARN DAILY!! All I knew was eat slow, chew your food well and PROTEIN first and fit all the water and liquids in you can but NOT with a meal. Let me just say there is way more than just this.   I set some goals back in the day, now I will look back at my older blog and see what I have accomplished?   My biggest goal was to go skiing this winter and I did about 10 times I did well and it was just like riding a bike it all comes back to you. I rode a bike too that is so much fun!!! I want to dance. Yes. I have been Dancing and it is so fun! I want to eat normal. Yes, I eat way normal! EAT FOOD. NOT TOO MUCH. MOSLTY PLANTS. I want to think normal. Yes, I think normal! I want to look normal. Yes, I look normal! I want to FEEL normal. Yes I FEEL normal! I want to see myself as NORMAL. Yes, I look at myself and I see normal! I want to feel sexy again. Yes, I feel sexy again! I want to look sexy again. Ok, I am working on it...... I want to buy clothes off the rack. Yes, I can buy off the rack! I want those clothes to FIT me. Yes, clothes fit me I am a size 12 / 14. I want to be looked at, not look through. Yes, people talk to me now and look at me! I want to be successful. Yes, I feel and I am successful! I want off blood pressure medicine. Yes, I am NOW OFF all Medicine! Yippee. I want off my sleep apnea machine. Yes, I am off my apnea machine! Yippee. I want my normal body back, the one I had when I met my husband. I am Working on it. I was NORMAL I DO remember how it feels. Yes, I must say I FEEL NORMAL again Thanks to my LAP-BAND® I HAVE FORGIVEN MYSELF. MANY TIMES   I was invited to speak to a group of newbies and there were about 50 people with many questions. I was with a young man who had GBPS and was at his goal. I am not at goal yet but have been successful on my journey and work well with my band. I was able the thank my Doctors and give back to the program that has given so much me. Wishing you and all my FRIENDS the best on your journey. I am still learning everyday. imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

10
 

My Three Year Bandversary Today

Hello Three Year Bandversary.   I was banded June 29, 2009 it was three weeks earlier then my original set date. I was ready, you know how ready we get, right! Someone who did not follow all the pre-op diet and all those rules before surgery allowed me to be moved up. Lucky Me!!!   Keep in mind, just remember to follow all those rules no matter how lame you think they are. I honestly felt bad for this person because all I knew was they were scheduled, had the date and did not meet the guidelines. Made my day that’s for sure.   My first suggestion Follow all the rules, no matter what!   As I reflect over my last three years, I can honestly say I have never been HAPPIER with my life.   I would choose this procedure again. It has not made dealing with the everyday life and it’s many traumas really any easier. Yet, it has helped me make better food choices and the issues for me related to the food a whole lot easier.   On my second Bandversary - June 21, 2011 I was able to have the full body nip and tuck and as I remember that was way harder and a much longer recovery than the Lap Band. I thought two weeks and I’d be up and around. It took almost the entire summer to feel better. Two months, so if you are thinking in terms of nip and tuck prepare yourself. It is a much longer recovery and way more painful. I do not regret one minute that I had it done. I love my flat stomach and small breasts now and my arms and legs with exercise don’t look bad. I like swimming and water activities. I can say I am normal, looking and feeling all around now. I love how my clothes fit. I love that I can buy anything I want in any store and I am a normal size. I even see myself in the mirror as normal. I love what I see these days. I never liked the mirror, as a matter of fact I hated it! Looking in the mirror and having a good cry can be a catalyst to change. When you see the results before your very eyes it makes a huge impression. I kept wanting more change. I followed the rules and I did make mistakes. I kept getting back on track. The mirror helps you stay focused on your goal. The scale just validated the number loss. It took a year to lose over 100 pounds. I have kept it off now and am excited to write about it.   My weight has gone up and down 10 pounds and it is always a struggle to lose again. Keeping a positive attitude and blogging made it so much easier for me.   I have had fills and un-fills and more fills do to the surgery, that was my choice. This is what is so wonderful about the Lap Band it all becomes our choices to use the controls inside. Before my nip and tuck I had almost all the fluid taken out. I knew it was risky and yes I did gain weight. Because I gave in to old high calorie habits and choices. I have always said, I want to be small so I should eat small! But if those small choices are HIGH CALORIES there will be problems. I can’t tell you how fast 10 pounds can come back if you make wrong choices. I am getting back to eating real food, not processed, protein first, not too much and mostly plants. They don’t have a lot of calories and are way better for me.   My life has never been happier, my journey has been unique to me and I wish everyone out there all the best on your journey. Keep in touch Blogging helps. Best Wishes Love, imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

3
 

Merrily, Merrily, Merrily Life is but a DREAM!!!!

Life is but a Dream!!!   Row, Row, Row, your boat gently down the stream... Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, life is but a DREAM......   I am happily seven weeks post op. I have had some very, very, very good days and only two days I care to forget!!! I went to the Nutritionist today and the first thing she did was weigh me. Yippee DOWN, DOWN, DOWN. She even had the nerve to ask me if I was eating. I told her I was and that it takes me about 45 minutes to eat.   Yes, I do belong to SWA. (Scale Whore Anonymous) You must know that club??? Well I am the member that weighs her shoes at home on a fish scale, so I know how much to take off when I get there. I am on the better than average weight loss track she said to me. That must mean I am doing well!!! I feel WELL!!!!!   I guess that means I’m DOWN my stream just a little more than everyone else!!!!! I am DOWN but not enough for my head. I wanted MORE.. I tell you MORE.....   Going Down my stream has been a DREAM, yes I am singing Merrily along.   I get my next fill August 26, so I will Row, Row, Row my boat a little faster now. I am so close to wonderland/onederland but not DOWN enough. My goal is to be DOWN there by August 26. Going to the GYM in the AM to get the old body moving. I am going everyday now to the gym. Switching up the time of day may help me move faster down my stream.   I must admit I feel so much better today and I am enjoying the gifts of Happiness. I am allowing myself to feel the breeze in my face as I Merrily roll down my STREAM. imaluckydog who is not afraid to swim.
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

7
 

Loving my LIMBO, Snug Enough

I am tight enough I must say. Yesterday, I went for my fourth fill and asked NOT to have it. LOL I feel I am snug enough! I miss eating. Yes, I do.   I can eat a small breakfast. I love my iced coffee in the morning so switching to hot is not going to happen. Even if I could feel more loose. I never have been a breakfast fan, so a little breakfast is fine for me. I am not hungry EVER. I need to force myself to eat.   Lunch is about a half a cup of chili, or stew or eggplant parm, veggie quiche, egg, chicken salad all of which I make myself and protein packed. That is not a lot of food. I do drink water but probably not enough. I never drink anything with a meal.   Dinner tonight was about four bites of a real crabmeat sub (no I do not eat the bread). I gave half of the sandwich to my husband. That made him so happy. I ate 6 potato chips and after about 30 minutes I was able to eat about four more bites a total of about a half a cup of crab total. I feel I am in a state of Band Limbo.   I just miss eating a lot of food. Does anyone else feel that way? Everything I put in my mouth is for a reason to keep me alive. I am probably slowly consuming about 1,700 calories a day most days but not all days. I have been keeping track. I in no way eat low fat. But I do not eat muffins, cake or donuts, very little pasta or any bread for that matter. I am eating as healthily as I can to work with this tool.   I have made many mistakes and I have slowly and painfully learned my lessons well. This is a band Limbo I have found myself in lately. I am happy and sad ;-( at the same time about where I am. Happy I have taken off 68 pounds in 19 weeks. I weighed in on Monday and I lost 8 pounds in 6 weeks. I have lost very steadily and my body has changed so much. I know I have about another 50 to go I am in no hurry, my body will not tolerate anything in a hurry. I eat slowly today and try to enjoy every bite I take. I plan for every meal. I savor the flavor in my mouth and the food texture on my tongue is important to me. I make sure I get enough fruit everyday. I even concentrate on my swallow.   I am in band LIMBO and this is what has happened to me. I still read food magazines and watch the food network and work with food as a professional. I am making the most of what has helped me change for the better. I had another Low Blood pressure reading so I am closer to getting off the medicine. Which will make me even happier. My husband wants me to stop the sleep apnea machine but I am afraid too. He says I do not snore when I do not use it for short periods of time. I am thinking I may give it one night and see if I wake up with a head ache. I have not one head ache since I have been banded and I use to get headaches all the time. It could be because I do not eat crappy food any more. I read labels and set a better table all around me are healthier for it. I have not gone organic don't get me wrong I just prepare all my foods myself now and leave nothing to chance. No MSG.... Use to Make me sick. I love fresh anything. I am Happy with my banded life and am riding a bicycle outside. Nothing makes you feel better than having the crisp fresh fall air in your face as I ride. My next goal is to go skiing this winter so watch out everyone on the mountain I am gonna get the freshies. Those are the first tracks for you non skiers.   Thanks for all your support. I read every blog who needs a support group at a hospital when we have this site. Best Wishes imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

9
 

LOST 100 pounds in less than 1 year ;-)

This is a GOOD FEELING. Good Morning to all of my LB friends of the world. It is a very Good Good morning this one for sure!! I always wake up with a smile on my face since June 29, 2009, the day I was banded a year ago.   Today my smile is 100 times BIGGER. Yes, The scale said 148 and that is well more than 100. But to me the 100 pound loss is triumphant. The last 5 pounds took almost two months to lose.   Just hang in and follow all the rules and this tool will work for you too. I am living breathing proof. I will have a great day today!! Thanks for all of your support along the way. Best wishes to everyone. imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

9
 

Let's Play MONOPOLY

Do YOU know how to play Monopoly???? It has been so hard for me these past few weeks since my last fill, lets face it. I have been having a hard time with that, "One BITE too many syndrome". I just PB'd because I ate to fast. It was the Good food the protein kind. But when I eat too darn fast there is a learning curve. You know what I am talking about don't you????   Unfortunately I AM a very SLOW LEARNER :-( It was my 4th bite and I had to run not walk to the rest room!!! I did not pass GO or collect 200 dollars either!! My fourth bite. I am hungry now.   This Band has a MONOPOLY on my stomach.. I need to learn how to play well with my band. May be I need to make flash cards and study them so I will remember how to do what I am allowed to do. I will not win if I keep playing this way. I know I am not alone either.... I feel the restriction but I am hungry and want to eat good food. I forget to chew and it makes matters unfavorable. My next Dr. appointment is not until October 5th. I pushed the appointment back because I am feeling tight enough right now. I am trying to stay positive but I need to learn how play Monopoly quickly. I want to buy PARK PLACE!! Not sure if this has helped anyone but it has helped me to refocus on what it is I need to do. I do not want to gain and I will not get weighed until Oct 5. I am going to make a ricotta pie for dinner tonight Thanks for the recipe my friend. Thanks for playing with me. imaluckydog Kathy   Love, Life, Lilly, and the Pursuit of Happiness
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

3
 

imaluckydog playing with the band early!

Has anyone ever heard of going early for Lap Band?   I was content with my July 20 band date which is about 21 days away. OMG on this pasted Friday I got a call and the Nurse she wanted to know if I would be ready to have my Lap Band done on MONDAY yesterday? OMG again I said ???? I was not sure I was mentally ready. She said could I come down to the hospital and sign a few papers. She also wanted to go over the teaching classes with me. I had had all my blood work and Pre Op work just done on Wednesday.   When I got to the hospital late Friday it was about 4:30 p.m. she said we have a glitch she just found out about. Yup you guessed it! INSURANCE Papers not complete yet. Well the insurance approved me back in the beginning of May and my hospital sent in the paper work to then as well. She just needed a signature. She said I could self pay to the turn of Fifteen Grand plus put it on my credit card or I could wait.   I had been advised by many NOT to put it on my credit card because that could open all kinds of problems. I had a chance that the company would pay. I just tried not to spend my entire week end worrying about it, with the help of more friends on this site. I kept extremely busy. Thanks to them and their kind hearted souls and advice.   On Monday I got up early and finished a few odds and ends that needed to be done so I could take a few days off. I also called the insurance co and called the hospital and at one point I had two phones on my head and talking to someone on the computer. I had all the bases covered. I was pretty sure I would have the surgery that day. My husband took the day off and drove me to the hospital and he was the one saying I would only have a 50 / 50 chance. I had to shut him out.   We had to drive about an hour and the traffic was light, many must be on vacation this week. Just as I am walking into the hospital me cell phone rings. It was Elana from the hospital she said everything is all in order and to come on down. I told her we are here and I plan to go meet her at the check in. She must have worked a miracle today. But I also help to create my own destiny at the same time. I had surgery at 4 p.m. it was a long day. I am home now a resting quite comfortably in bed. I have been up walking and have not had much gas. I just spent one night in the hospital. Today I was released at about 2 p.m. So far water, sf Jello and broth is all I can have.   I am NOT a JULY BAND BUDDY I need one from JUNE if anyone reads this and were banded in June would you please let me know? Thanks   imaluckydog playing with the BAND early!!!
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

8
 

imaluckydog Now!!!

Lady!! You can’t get that SIZE on this side of the store! “But if you wait a minute I will go next door and check if they have your size on the other side of the store for you, Okay”. She came back with my size. Oops I’m on the wrong side of store. That has never happened before!! I have always shopped on this side of the store, I have never been told my size is not on this side of the store before. I shop at a women’s clothing store that has two sides one for Normal size and the other for women’s size. Well welcome to NORMAL size luckydog!!! Really imaluckydog NOW!!!   My work mates have said I need some new clothes that fit. I just have not wanted to spend the money yet. With two kids in college, money is tight. I have been using my sewing machine and pants that had pockets do not have packets anymore because I have had to take them in so much.   Well when my daughter came home from school this week end, shopping was on our to do list today. I was blown away that I was not the size clothes I expected to be. My head does not seem to be catching up with my weight loss. I can see my body size is changing. I feel my size is changing and I like the fact my size is changing. I just picked clothes that were still three sizes to big for me. I was in a changing room for almost a half an hour with all the wrong size clothing. I have never had this experience before. My clothes have always been too tight never too loose. I must say I had a good time buying a pair of pants that fit me. A size 16 and it did not have a W next to it (W) is for women’s a fuller and more roomier fitting pant. I was a regular size 16 that I have never been before.   Life is good. I now have a new pair of pants that fit! I am grateful for this experience and feel that the Lap band has given me a chance to live a healthier and happier life. I am seriously thinking I will not get my next fill on November 5, I may just go and weigh in and say I am happy were I am now. I cannot eat a lot and everything is going down slow. It is staying down for the most part. Maybe I am at a sweet spot? imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

8
 

I'm NOT hungry I am disappointed

I am freaking myself out by how much I am thinking about food and the wrong kinds of food too. I said thinking, I am not eating it and I do not want to start cuz I know I can at any moment. I am blogging now and my rule in no food/drinks at my computer so this is helping me at this time. I read about everyone all thinking about food, huh. I am NOT alone!! I know I am an addict for sure. I just need to vent and say yes I think about food too much! I also woke up today and packed food for my trip that I did not get to take because the train was five hours behind schedule. In the past I would have eaten over my disappointments. I still want to eat over my disappointment. Today I find myself writing to you all. I am a real person with real feelings and no one to talk too. I am so glad you are all hear for me today. I do not want to use food as a crutch today. Best wishes imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

4
 

I May Be PLAYING with the BAND on MONDAY!!!!!

I am not sure about much lately!! :cursing:   I got a call from my nurse to have my surgery moved up to this Monday!!! Yikes, :thumbup: My dated was to be July 20 th. Hard to believe RIGHT? Who really ever has it done early? We are to wait for ever for the LB!!   I was told I may get moved up because I have met all the requirements. But I never believed them. There is a twist, the insurance has not sent back the paper work GO FIGURE??? They think my surgery is July 20. Monday I will be on the phone first thing in the morning making sure they fax the paper work over ASAP. I have been given approval over the phone. So just being phone covered my not get you surgery.   The PAPER WORK must be signed and in order first or NO surgery. Just my LUCK the Nurse who planned all this left Friday for vacation after our visit. Before she left she gave me her phone number. :cursing: I pray I do not have to call her. She was so mad on Friday at her hospital for not having the paper work done.:rolleyes2: Insurance office is closed for the week end and there is no one to talk to until Monday. So I wait Mind you I am not going to worry about it. Thanks to friends on this site:tt1: If it was ment to be it will be!!!!! I will make sure something happens.   Wish me LUCK for imaluckydog and MAY BE PLAYING with the BAND SOON.:rolleyes2:
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

2
 

I love to cook

I love to cook now more than I like to eat! Go figure!!!! I never thought I would say that!!!! It use to be the other way around. I lived to eat. I wanted to know where the next meal was coming from and how much would I be able to eat at one sitting. I just loved stuffing myself into a coma. This is TRUE.   I also hated the way I felt after...........This is TRUE.   I have made spicy spaghetti sauce, butternut squash soup, onion soup, eggplant parmesan, zucchini parmesan, Wendy’s chili, baked fish, fish soup, lobster stew, seafood chowder, edamame corn chowder, salsa, chicken with couscous, salads, fruit cups, home made puddings, fruit and protein smoothies, ricotta pie, tiny bites of beef stew, BBQ pulled pork, chicken fajitas, just to mention a few recipes I have collected. I never knew I was such a good cook. I get complements all the time from my family.   I cannot eat all that much of what I cook but what I cook sure does have flavor. I freeze a lot of what I make. I make home made salad dressing too. I love to watch the Food Network and I get recipes from certain chefs who do not use a ton of butter. My recipes have little or no oil in them and the fat usually comes from the protein source. I do use some olive oil because I like the taste.   I really enjoy my own cooking over going out to eat now a days. I usually bring my home cooked leftovers to work for lunch with me and almost everyone is curious about what I bring and will I share my weight loss secrets with them? I have chosen not to tell and only my family knows about my band. It is better this way for me. I do share I have cut down on my portions which is the understatement of the year. HELLO people... I was a COW, I could eat a COW!!!! If they only knew how much I can eat without my band. Really a COW!!!! I love meat and I am now unable to really enjoy a rare steak. It is OK.   I have enjoyed playing with my band. I have just had my third fill and the music has been kicked up a notch to say the least. I still have to take my time eating and I am chew, chew, chewing to beat the band. I love how food tastes now. I can only eat about a half a cup of anything. You name it, I sometimes have four meals and I have been known to drink a glass of milk before bed. Just for that bite extra protein. I am always making sure I get that PROTEIN if you know what I mean jelly bean! I miss CANDY, FRASCA, DONUTS, COOKIES and cheese curls. I have not had them since June 29, and it is a good thing.   I have lost 60 plus pounds since June and have found a perpetual smile on my FACE. I am in the wonder of oneunderland today. I wish everyone reading this all the best on your journey.   All I can say is thank you to all my band site buddies and friends you know who you are You have helped me become the person I want to be today. I am HAPPY to be in my own skin and in your company. My family likes it too. I could not have done this without your support and personal suggestions. I remember the trip to the hospital not knowing if I would get the surgery that day and I remember B_G telling me, you are creating your own destiny so take charge. I am raising my GLASS high to all of us who are taking charge. Only we can make the change if we want too. imaluckydog Kathy
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

7
 

I Just Wanted a Slice of Pizza

Heaven I tell you, just heavenly! Who ever thought I would enjoy 1 slice of pizza so much in my life?????? I have been cooking a lot lately and needed a break from it.   I woke up this morning feeling thinner than I have ever felt before in my life. Is my head catching up with me? You know the body has lost 60 plus pounds.   Before when I ate pizza I would eat 4 or more slices in less than a half an hour. I knew I was having pizza for dinner I planned it that way. Mind you it took me almost one hour to eat my slice of HEAVEN. It was so worth every single bite. I know you want to know what kind. OK, it was a slice of Spinach, Tomato, Cheese, Garlic, and two little pieces of Pepperoni I picked off my husbands side. I could not eat the Crust I was TOO FULL by the time I got to it or I would have tried that is for sure. I do not usually eat Pepperoni but that was the side my husband likes. I just had to have some. So glad I did. It was worth every single bite.   Pizza is not a food I have eaten a lot of since being banded on June 29. Seems so long ago now really. Probably because it does not have the amount of protein my body needs at a meal. I just really need and wanted pizza.   A funny thing happened to me yesterday when I was at work. A co worker came up and stood next to me and she came into my space, you know the physical space around your body. In the past I would have taken a step backwards but I did not. I just stood there as she kept coming closer and closer. I started not to hear her and I started feeling just how much smaller I was to her. Yikes, I felt half the size of her and half the size of my former self. My arms where hanging down by my side and I could really feel the smaller me. OMG I never ever heard her say "so are you feeling good are you having problems?" I was like what Oh yes very GOOD see you later, and walked away in a daze. As she started to ask if I had any problems, my head was not connected to the conversation. I never remember myself walking away from someone but why should I answer questions that are personal to me? I knew she did not really care about me. She was on her way to buy food. I just went the other direction. I am finding that I am not engaging in talk with people that do not care about me. I went and had lunch and shared my little story with my lunch mates and they said they would have done the same thing and as for feeling half the size They said YES YOU ARE HALF THE SIZE OF HER. Wow I was right.   My head is catching up. I am Happy getting healthier and yes I can eat whatever I want. Oh I had to freeze four slices of PIZZA LOL I will buy a small size pizza next time and save some money. Old habits are hard to change. Best wishes and have a great day my LB friends. imaluckydog
imaluckydog

imaluckydog

5
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

PatchAid Vitamin Patches

Bariatric Forums

For Patients

Health Professionals

Search Surgeons

Bariatric Surgeons: Want to research a weight loss surgery surgeon? Enter their last name below to start!

×