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First Fill

Thursday July 16th was my first fill. It was one of the strangest things I have ever experienced. I had 1 cc added, and that brought it up to 2 cc's. My weight loss has slowed down a little bit, but my surgeon was impressed with the fact that I am still loosing at this point. I am still not sure how many calories I should be eating a day, but since I am loosing weight still, I will just keep doing what I've been doing. Some days I get so hungry it is hard to stick to the diet plan, but for the most part I am. I really want to hurry up and get to restriction, but I guess going the slow route is best. I also feel like I am stuck at the 230 mark, even before lapband I could not get below 230. It is very frustrating. I was loosing so quickly at first I thought I'd be down below 230 by now. I was hoping to be below the 200 mark by October, but maybe I am setting unrealistic goals, or at least unhealthy goals. Funny I was worried I was loosing too fast, now I am upset because I am loosing slower. It is quite the rollercoaster ride.

~Michelle~

~Michelle~

 

No Longer Morbidly Obese

According to BMI I am now just obese.:party: I am not sure why that sounds so much better to me, but it does.   I have lost 40lbs now, and have dropped at least one size. My clothes are getting very loose, and some of my favorite things I can no longer wear. This is bitter sweet for me. Its ok if my casual clothes are loose, but my bartending clothes, and going out clothes need to fit right. I hate to spend more money on clothes right now, but I think I am goinng to have to. I also hate to give up some of the clothes I am going to ahve to give up, maybe I could find a seamstress or something.   I doing great following my diet plan, except I have a hard time getting in all the water I need on the weekends. I have also started belly dancing which is really hard, but fun. I also bought a bike, and have been riding that starting out slow, and hopfully by the end of the summer I will be able to take it on trails.   Thursday I get my first fill, and I am really nervous about it. I read so many posts where that seems to be where the trouble starts. I almost don't want to get the fill, because of that. I have had no problems at all, no vomiting, or PB'ing, no food intolerance, and I don't want that to change. :cursing:

~Michelle~

~Michelle~

 

4th Of July Over.......Thankfully

Since surgery it has been pretty easy sticking to my diet plan until the 4th rolled around. We had a BBQ, and had friends over. This was the first party I have attended since surgery. I completely blew it, I ate crackers, chips, dips, not-lean burger w/o the bun, and even a damn hotdog w/the bun. I did manage to stay away from the alcohol though. I was pretty down on myself for going off the wagon, and still kind of beating myself up over it. I feel so guilty, and a little ashamed. I am back on track now though, and plan to stay on track. I just wonder if everytime an event rolls around I am going to fall off again, and that is a bit discourging.   On a good note, I am allowed 4oz of food now instead of 2. I am also allowed to start adding more solid foods, salad, and even fruit on occassion. Last night was the first time I tried 4oz of food, and it seemed like so much food too me. I still have no restriction, so I am still getting hungry between, meals. But it is so nice to go up to that 4oz. I am just worried I will start gaining weight now.   I am having a hard time getting my 64oz of water in a day too. I come close like maybe 50-60oz. Its hard to just sip all day. I tend to gulp, and learning to sip is a real challange.

~Michelle~

~Michelle~

 

Random Stuff

So I am almost 3 weeks post op now. My incisions are healing great, and I don't think the scars will be too bad. My visit with my surgeon was pretty quick, and unfortunately I did not get a fill, that will be at my next appointment. Basically went over how I was doing, what kind of foods I can start introducing, and answering all my questions. I really like my surgeon he's an easy going guy, who is very patient. He was pretty impressed with the weight I had lost, but informed me that the weight loss is going to slow, and I may even gain weight as I introduce food into my diet. I was kind of bummed out by that, but so far no weight gain. On the down side no loss either. I have gone down a size though. Now I need to learn how to sew. I would hate to buy more clothes until I go down at least a few sizes, and I have some clothes I just hate to give up.   Last couple of days there has been stuff posted on the forum that really kind of has me worried about my decision. I am reading so much about how that years after people get the band they start having problems. I knew going into this that there were possible complications, but the numbers seemed so low, but on here is seems the numbers are very high. The other surgery I was considering was the sleeve. And on here it seems that a number of people have converted to the sleeve, and have had much better results with no complications. Its a bit depressing reading these things, and it has me kind of freaked that 3-4 years from now I am going to end up with some major problems. I wanted a life change, but a good one. Now everytime something feels a little funny or when some pain kicks in I am wondering if its the beginning of something major. I have to keep reminding myself that I am only 3 weeks pre-op and I feel pretty damn good considering. I also have to keep reminding myself why I chose Lapband over the sleeve. There is no getting back that part of your stomach they take away. If I do have problems with the band I can have it removed. But all the talk about has gotten me pretty discouraged about the whole thing. I already am dealing with some serious emotions of loosing food as a comfort, and quitting smoking. So I guess I need to stay away from the threads that shed a pretty negative light on banding, and has posters bashing eachother left and right.:crying: I started comming here for support, because there is no support group where I am at, and the nearest one is 2 hours away. So I will just stick to the threads that are more supportive, even though the ones that become a day time soap opera can get interesting its hard not to want to see what is next. But those threads just aren't productive. I like this site a lot though, and it has been very helpful so far.

~Michelle~

~Michelle~

 

Day 13 Post Op

Pain has gotten a little better, but I am still sore where the big incision is, and still have some bruising and swelling. Also I pulled my steri strips off too soon I think. They were very itchy, and I am somewhat OCD. Thankfully I go to the DR tomorrow. I have lost 30lbs since 2 weeks pre-op according to my scale. But tomorrow could be a different story when they weigh me at the Dr's. I didn't own a scale before. I hated seeing how much I wieghed. Mushies stage is going really good for me. I even had some chicken breast boiled in broth, and that was probably the best chicken breast ever. Only problem so far is that I get hungry between meals, and sometimes my meals leave me feeling hungry afterwards. Hoping I will get a fill tomorrow, and that will help. I have also been feeling a little down. I knew some drepression was a possiblity, but really didn't think it would happen to me. I was so sure I wanted this surgery. But there have been a few days where I really felt like I made the biggest mistake of my life. I think about how I can't have fast food anymore, and all the other foods I am missing out on, and it just makes me sad. I never noticed before how many food commercials there are on TV. I hoping that this will get easier with some restriction. I also have come to the realization that food has always been my comfort not only when I am stressed, but when I am sad. I really enjoy food, and I almost feel like I took something from myself, that I can't give back, and the I worry because of the way I am feeling I am going to end up failing at this. But then I look at the overall picture, and think of the benefits, and know I will learn to enjoy food in a healthy way. I know I am going to slip up, and that's ok as long as I get back on track. I am going to be thin and healthy and that's the most important thing. I do want the lap band, and I wouldn't change anything. :thumbup:

~Michelle~

~Michelle~

 

First Blog

Never blogged before, but figure I need something to keep track of things. I am now on day 5 post surgery. Surgery went smoothly for the most part, I kind of freaked when I woke up, and I am still sore and gasy. I am trying not to take any pain med today, and I am still haning in there, but don't think I can for much longer. I am back at work, and probably shouldn't be, but have to get some very important things taken care of, and then I will answer the phones from home. Tomorrow is my first day that I get to add some solid food to my diet. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I really don't want to do anything to screw this up. But I am starting to feel some hunger for the first time today, so I am ready for some solids. :crying:

~Michelle~

~Michelle~

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