I have calmed down alot now, had a talk on the phone to a friend and had a nice warm shower.
I woke this morning after a terrible nights sleep, had to start early, was in a good mood feeling motivated.
Then not long after i begin work things start falling apart, first the 2ic has a go at me over a job which i assumed was done but wasn't so i got the rap for it, partly my fault i suppose. That annoyed me as it does getting in trouble, then a staff complaint, then i had to listen to the 2ic talk about herself on and on as she does and she is sooooo opinionated, if you have done it she has done it better, if you got something she has one better, oh golly she makes me made, i can't stand ppl like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then maybe only something a overweight person could understand, a girl at work recently got engaged and she is getting married in Feb next year a week before my banding, that's not going to go down well with my boss as the two of us will be off at the same time, oh well stiff shit!!!
Anywayz i too am in engaged and have been for a year now, we were supposed to get married in Oct this year, but when i began looking into lap banding it couldn't be done until Feb 2010, therefore we have put the wedding off until Nov 2010, anyway to get to my point i must say i am a little jealous if i wasn't so fat then we could be about to get married, but NO because i am so fat we have to wait!!!!!! She is thin and athletic and will probaly be able to wear any dress she likes, i just feel like a failure. :sad:
I have been hanging around this site for a while now, and have only just worked out how to blog!
I am going to blog often as i pop in here everyday or so and figure it would be a good place to ask some questions.
I am 24 years old and live in Victoria in Australia I am about to turn 25 in a week or so, I currently weigh about 110KG (around 240LBS i think). I am a normal height of 165cm's.
I have been over weight pretty much my whole life, would have spent most of it in the over weight category up until probably about 5 years ago and i hit the obese category (nothing to be proud of).
I have tried lots and lots of diets from weight watchers about 5 times, tony ferguson shakes about 3 times, the liver cleansing diet, optifast, and goodness knows how many more..... And yes none of them have worked for me, well actually to be honest i haven't worked for them!
There probably are underlining factors why I am so big, like things that have happened in my life etc: But that is no excuse, Recently i have learnt that i am an emotional eater, if things get tough i eat, if i get angry i eat, if i'm really happy or excited i eat!!!!!!!! You get the picture!
I am booked for lapbanding Feb 2010 and can't wait!!!!!!!!! I have had the chest x-ray and blood tests, plus a couple of appointments with my surgeon, so i have the ball rolling, now just waiting for the time to tick by. I can't wait, i dream about it everyday.
I have pretty much kept my lapbanding to myself, 2 friends know, my partner, and my sister. I plan on keeping it that way, and of coarse when it gets closer i will let my Mum know, but she will worry and lecture me and i won't hear the end of it, so the longer i leave it the less nagging i have to listen to!
I really could go on forever, so i will go now.
:sad:
