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A week from now....

In one week I will hopefully be prepped for surgery and getting ready to go under. My surgery is scheduled for 2pm on June 17th.   Today is day one of my pre-op diet. I am crashing hard!!!!!! Everything was stockpiled and ready to go to get thru the day. I am taking RELIV vitamins and Isopure protein drinks. I am thanking God above for Isopure--although right now I can't even bear to think about drinking another one--they are a God-send! How well do I remember the days back even 10 years ago--and the hideously disgusting protein shakes that I would choke down doing the Body For Life challenges and trying to get ripped. I'm a LONG way from ripped--but this stuff makes this phase so much easier.   Right now I am sweaty, nauseous, shaky, can't think or focus, want to cry. This is my body's typical reaction to drastic drop in blood sugar from cutting out carbs. I've had my limit of carbs already for the day and have been snacking on nuts and other NO carb things....but not helping. Completely second guessing my resolve and my ability to get this surgery. I'm wondering if I totally caved and ate something if I would just feel better. But I know I WOULD feel better--but I would not be better. This is part of the cost I counted before I started this journey...and I will be ok. It is day one --six more to go until I'm banded. It is a miracle that I was even approved and so many of my friends don't have this opportunity. I've got to seize this day for me, my little family, my sister that wants to get this, and all my friends who would die to be a week away from surgery, but aren't able to.   My daughter went to be with her dad for a few days, then to Missouri to visit my sisters and family for a week. I will miss her SO bad, but thankful she will be away for this pre-op diet---that I don't have to make any food for her in the next week and that she won't be around for the surgery. She'll be back 2 days after with my awesome sister who is the best nurse in the world.   My husband is the best in the world! SO supportive of me and is vowing to go on some kind of crash diet this week too, so I won't be alone. The good part about this is not having to smell or make good food (tuna is not a temptation) or fast food or any of that stuff. He will likely lose more weight than me in the next few days but who cares. I'm going to be banded in a WEEK!!!   Oh, side note----ha ha ha---my skinny mother in law (who still knows nothing about the surgery) made a comment about how much weight I had gained since Easter. She thinks it's thyroid meds causing me to go "up and down". And she was concerned. I've gained 9 pounds since Easter--but have to agree....these last 9 pounds were BAD ones---and I felt like each one was an extra comorbidity for how horrible physically I felt with each one--not to mention the inches around my middle! My ex was at my daughter's kindergarden graduation last night--and he didn't say anything but I prob'ly weight more than him for the first time ever. Not cool.   I had my "last supper" last night, and had heartburn (STILL) from it clear up till 11:00 this morning.   I CAN make it thru today...and will take this one day at a time.
JazzyMom17

JazzyMom17

8
 

Snapping the chain...

When an elephant is young and weak, an animal trainer ties its leg to a short wooden stake in the ground. In the beginning, the young elephant tries to escape. It struggles against the rope that holds it in place. For several days, the rope keeps rubbing the same spot on the elephant’s leg. The rope finally wears through the elephant’s tough outer skin, and cuts into the elephant’s soft pink flesh. The pain is excruciating. It’s the worst thing the animal has ever felt. The elephant soon learns that pulling and struggling against the rope will only bring him pain, so he doesn’t struggle anymore. The elephant grows to be a 12,000 pound monster-sized animal. It could physically crush the animal trainer like a small bug. But it doesn’t. The animal trainer still keeps it tied up. To the same short wooden stake. If the elephant tried, it could snap the wooden stake in half by simply shifting its weight. But it doesn’t. It doesn’t think it can break free of the stake because of the early experiences it had trying to break free. It thinks the outcome will be pain, instead of freedom.   Isn't food just like that little stake? Something that has caused us so much pain and failure? Something that has held us back from so much?   I am finding that the "mental" part of this "breaking free" is the key for me.
JazzyMom17

JazzyMom17

2
 

Getting ready to go for a throat culture....

Five days out==WOO-HOO! I'm in "ONE"derland! I dreaded this post op liquid phase so bad--but it has FLOWN by and I am actually LIKING my protein shakes! I CAN'T beleive I am saying that. MY scars look like NOTHING and are very minimal and little brown lines on my belly.   Yesterday I woke up and my throat was "scratchy"....and felt kindof sore when I swallowed. By last night 10pm my fever was going up and my tonsils were the size of golf balls and white. The back of my tongue looks like a red globe with white continents--patchy and there are little white bumps covering the whole back of my very red throat. It hurts SO bad to try to swallow. I'm going to the PCP for throat culture today.   I'm still on POTENT meds for pneumonia and everything else. Can't figure out HOW could I get Strep?! Also, it doesn't feel like THRUSH--I've gotten that before and I remember incessent itching and no fever.   I felt "sore" throat after being intubated that lasted about a day--then with some good hard candy--that went away....this CAN'T be from that??   Once I get well from all of these freak illnesses I'll be on mushies! ) Trying to stay positive!
JazzyMom17

JazzyMom17

4
 

Consultation---CHECK!

So, I had the consultation with Dr. Pinnar yesterday!! All went REALLY REALLY well. He thought I would be a "good candidate". I spoke with the insurance coordinator, as well, and she was so encouraging. She will be submitting to the insurance TODAY for approval. I am HOPING and PRAYING that everything goes well and gets approved!!!! I will be on pins and needles until I hear!! Half of me thinks that I will get denied and have to appeal---which I am getting myself informed about all of that right now.   Dr. Pinnar says that this band isn't the "magic bullet" and that I will still have to be in the driver's seat in the car...it won't go anywhere unless I drive. But, with all my past failures under my belt---I know how I am. Exercise is never the issue with me--I LOVE to work out--if I can find a tool to counter appetite and assist in dietary control...then that is 90% of the battle for me. If this band does its' job, then I'm good for the rest!   I ate dinner last night and was looking at my plate wondering---how much my meal would be different if I get the band. Then watched Biggest Loser last night and the girls put on their "goal" clothes and it was like a DING DING DING!!! bell going off in my mind about MY goal clothes that I have been debating throwing out for the past ten years. Those low-rider GAP khaki pants (size 6) that I LOVED to wear. I got this urge to ressurect them and hang on the closet door---but I can't get too obsessive compulsive about this stuff yet UNTIL I get approved!!!   I was telling the Doctor about my past attempts...and it was kindof a wake-up call to me that I have really never had success in a healthy way...so doing this is a step in the right direction. Not taking ECA stacks that will cause me a stroke or something.   I really really really really really hope the insurance approves this!!!!!!!!!!
JazzyMom17

JazzyMom17

2
 

Seminar down!!

Thanks everybody for your comments!! The seminar was great..I asked tons of questions. What I learned that I didn't know from this forum (which has been SUCH a great resource!!):   Getting pregnant and adjusting the band..etc after becoming pregnant should not be a complication whatsoever. Doctor said that there have been ALOT of happily pregnant people in the last two years especially. This is SO exciting to me to think of being pregnant WITHOUT the extreme high blood pressure and other weight-related problems with my first baby!!!
This usually RESOLVES GERD as opposed to complications with GERD.
Hypoglycemia (self-diagnosed allert---shaky, emotionally-frazzeled and dizzy feeling if go without food for too long)...can be cured with a little bit of carbs on the pre-and post-surgery diet without causing harm (they require 1 week of liquid protein-shake diet limiting carbs to 50/day. AAAAUUGGH! I've NEVER been able to sustain 50/day....and that makes me nervous--but doctor said--no big deal, if I get shakey have some carbs. Whew!
So, I have my appt with Sleep DR today....just the talking one. I am looking forward to that. Have had HORRIBLE insomnia lately and feel like my blood pressure has gone thru the roof, since I have begun eating WHATEVER and not monitoring my sodium intake. If it is really high then I may not need the Sleep Apnea diagnosis, although I think I do have that.   THEN, I called my surgeon's office this morning and they can get me in TOMORROW for my consulation!! Woo-Hoo!!! THIS part is going very fast at least--I'm scared about getting approved thru insurance!! Please, please, Lord!!   Hubby is going with me tomorrow. He is being supportive of me!
JazzyMom17

JazzyMom17

1
 

Should I start Weight Watchers AGAIN?!??!?!!!!

Ok....I'm Dying (!!) from not hearing from my insurance yet. I'm almost 100% that they will say a big DENIED!, because the nurse didn't send anything in with the letter she wrote to them explaining Hypertension (controlled by meds), High Cholesterol (controlled by meds) and Sleep Apnea, and the weight she put down for me.   So, I KNOW they will be requiring more proof...SURELY---but this is ANTHEM BCBS COVACARE---the nurse acted like this was a "shoe in" insurance. SO MAYBE hope against hope that they would approve it, but in the back of my mind, I KNOW I"ll have to do more and prove more that I am worthy of the lapband.   I"ve done a REALLY good job of bloating up this last ten pounds so fast and it's great to be able to eat whattever I want, but the looming FAMILY VACATION, my newphew on my skinny in-law side is having a dreaded pool-party for his bday. AND I want to have a baby before I'm 35!!!!! It would be absolutely PERFECT if they would approve me and I could get it done, skip bandster hell and go right to the sweet-spot, lose 50 pounds, then get pregnant and be down to goal a year after I have the baby.   If they come back and say six months of weight-watchers or something....I'm not sure what to do!   I think I'll go ahead and try to get the last weight-watcher's attempt a couple years ago ON PAPER, and then start it up again. The worst case is that they approve me and I can cancel it. But then I'll be stressing about what to put down there as eating. I really don't want to lose anything right now. I'm right on the wire!!
JazzyMom17

JazzyMom17

1
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