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Blog 64098

A blog by Arb

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Entries in this blog

 

Not much Happening Here

Busy Busy at work. Makes not eating very easy. Tired tired when I get home. Makes not eating very easy.   Now the downside, I'm too tired and my back hurts so much I haven't been able to force myself to exercise. Only 1 time this week. And I'm only talking about 25 mins. Not an hour or two like some of the peeps I read about on here. I can't believe the workouts some of you do just weeks post op! Apparently I'm in even worse shape than I thought! Oh, well. I'm going to at least walk 15 mins. tomorrow after work even if my feet and back kill me. My goal is 15 mins. a day, 4 days this week. Seems like nothing but I guess I have to start somewhere. Just makes me very sad to think how far I have fallen in the past 25 years. I used to walk miles and never think a thing about it. I took it for granted. Never again!
Arb

Arb

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Banding Eve

Tomorrow is the big day and I suddenly feel a great sense of calm and excitement, if that makes sense.   I feel calm that this is the right time and the right decision for me. I just looked out my back window and saw a beautiful rainbow. I am taking that as a sign that I am making the right decision. I have been asking God to give me a clear sign if I should not do this and I have not gotten that. I think He is telling me to trust in Him and go forward.   I'm excited that surgery is finally here and I can move on. That little negative imp inside me is trying to tell me I should be scared/nervous/not wanting to go through with this, and maybe in the morning I will feel that way but as this moment all I feel is ready!   I am not ready to post a picture but I am going to (if I can figure out how) since this is how I want to remember me when I get the urge to slack off. After I lose 50 lbs maybe I'll post my head, too:rolleyes2:
Arb

Arb

2
 

Victory

Well, I was on a mission last week to drop the darned 2 lbs I kept losing and gaining. Last Monday I was 275. This morning the lovely scale said 272.5! YES!!   Although I don't have much restriction, just having the band keeps me much more focused on what I'm eating and how much I'm eating. Thank you, my band!   I do find as the days get shorter, the nights get longer, I am having a much harder time not snacking. Guess I'll spend more time on LBT :confused:
Arb

Arb

2
 

Salad Dressing/Dip Recipe

I forgot to bring salad dressing for lunch today. What to do? Ranch is the only thing offered on our salad bar. WAAAAY too many calories. I looked in the fridge and I had lowfat french vanilla yogurt, yellow mustard and honey. So....I put some of each in a cup, stirred it up and it was YUMMY! Not too many calories and the ones there are pretty healthy.   This would make a great dip too. A little thin for dip but it would work.   Just wanted to share :confused:
Arb

Arb

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Back to Work

I don't officially go back to work until Wed but went today to clean up the mail and just the general mess left over from summer school. Wow, was I tired by 2pm and my back hurt so bad. My port is still TENDER TENDER and of course it's just the right height to hit my desk every time I scoot close so I have to arch kind of funny and that's killing my back. Not looking forward to full days that's for sure.   Otherwise, it was an ok day. I had a protein shake for breakfast, tuna & cottage cheese for lunch, and chicken salad and cottage cheese for dinner. I just keep praying I'm not messing anything up by starting mushies 4 days early. I sure feel better mentally, however, and haven't had any pain (stomach) only port site pain and I don't think the food has anything to do with that.   My son has a court appearance tomorrow and I am really nervous about that. He made some really bad choices previously and is on probation. Nothing big just little bad choices that have put him in a bad situation. He is trying and is really turning his life around, made the dean's list at school last semester, but the judicial system is very unforgiving. I know he has to be responsible for his choices and I have always taught him that but sometimes it seems the penalty is much to harsh for the crime. Seems like so many do so much worse and come out on top. Probably because they can afford good lawyers and he can't. I have put him in God's hands and will keep praying for God's guidance and comfort.   Normally I would EAT to comfort myself and my nerves but I guess I won't do that this time. Maybe this is God's way of making me TOTALLY dependent on him. I pray I can be that strong and my faith that deep.
Arb

Arb

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Darkest Before the Dawn

Bad day. Couldn't shake the blues. DH went to a rodeo and I didn't go because I didn't think I could stand to see everyone eating hamburgers, hot dogs, BBQ, etc., etc. I don't wish I had alot, I just wish I had something. Anything that is NOT SWEET! Never thought that thinking about eating something sweet would make me want to gag. Guess that's a good thing. I doubt it will last, though. Anyway, reading LBT and getting info from other bandsters helps so much and I know things will get better. Just one of those days, I guess. I want to remember this though. I want to remember the price I have had to pay for letting myself get to this point. I want to remember the price so the reward will be all the sweeter.   Listening to Matt Maher (contemporary gospel -- really good, check him out) and gazing out at the beautiful weather God has blessed us with today. I'll pray for strength and know things will be better tomorrow.
Arb

Arb

2
 

It's Been Too Long

since I last posted. My computer has been down and I have really been out of touch. To catch up....10 weeks post op. 2nd fill today. Total of 1cc in my band. I think I have been fortunate that I really have experience much TRUE hunger, even without fills. HEAD hunger is a different story and getting worse. I went ahead and got a fill today even though lost weight last week. I think I need the reminder that I have a band so I won't slip back into old habits, which I have been doing. Eating too fast, not chew, chew, chewing, eating bigger portions. I think the small fill will help the HEAD stay in the game.   Overall, I'm very satisfied. I've lost 45 lbs total and have averaged 1.5 lbs per week for the past 4 weeks. 1 week I gained a lb, 1 week I stayed the same, but then I lose 3 lbs so the average is good. I am trying VERY HARD to be satisfied with that 1.5 AVERAGE. So far, I am. I have 6 lbs to go to be at 269. I have not weighed under 270 for 20+ years. I feel so good already I can't imagine losing another 50 or 100 lbs. I just can't remember what that feels like!   My first goal is to be at 250 by my 50th birthday in May. I truly think that is going to happen and it would be such a wonderful birthday present!   Well, that's about it for catching up. It's great to be back on LBT!
Arb

Arb

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Day Two of the Tree Murder saga

Met with the tree trimmer supervisor (subcontractor for Ameren UE) and he said "We did exactly what we were told to do." Now there's a surprise!! Meeting with an Ameren representative tomorrow.   I've decided since I got my band and did 20 days of liquid torture I can do darn near anything and that might include fight a huge company like Ameren UE:thumbup:   Band wise, today was uneventful. Got in my 3 meals and 1 shake. Gotta do the other shake now and get ready for bed.
Arb

Arb

2
 

Fish for Supper

If anyone had told me I would actually enjoy fish (not fried catfish) for supper I would have laughed, 12 weeks ago. However, now I find I really do enjoy it. Made baked greek tilapia (breadcrumbs, greek seasoning, black olive, feta, tomatoe topping) tonight and it was yummy. I have been fighting the same 2 lbs over and over the past 4 weeks and am determined to beat it this week. I hit 275 last week but was 277 today. CRAP! Next Monday I want to see 274!!!   I know part of it is because I have almost no restriction with only 1 cc after 2 fills and I can eat pretty much what I want, when I want and however I want. Not good things for me. That's ok. We're going slow on the fills and I'm ok with that. Will get another fill next week and hope that will give me some restriction. At least enough that I have to stop and think about what and how I'm eating. Again, I want 274!   I also need to journal my eating. My computer has been down so couldn't do it and that's another bad thing for me. It's fixed now so no more goofing off.   As a matter of fact, I'm going to sign off, journal for today and get ready for bed.   I'm going to dream of 274 :thumbup:   Oh, before I go, a NSV .... put on a bra Saturday night that was WAY WAY too tight this summer. It was snug but fit!! 3 sizes smaller:thumbup:
Arb

Arb

1
 

Over Halfway There

6 days of 10 day liquid diet is done! Weekends are the hardest for me so I know I need to keep really busy. Today was ok. Not real hunger but I had alot of head hunger today. I had a 1/2 cup of beans and ham tonight and still stayed until 600 cals. so I guess I'm ok with that.   I'm ready to have the surgery and get on with it. I feel I'm in a holding pattern right now. Anyway, another day down the road. Off to bed for me.
Arb

Arb

1
 

Techie Question

Someone gave me directions but I have lost them and can't find the blog again. How do I get a cute weight loss ticker on my page? Thanks!
Arb

Arb

1
 

Happy Dance Time!!

You see, last night I was wanting to eat big amounts of comfort foot, but I didn't.....so....today I got on my scale.   My scale only goes to 300 lbs. After that I get this really snotty message EE kind of like "Error, Error, get off now!"   Well, this morning it said.........................299.0 !!!! Woo Hoo!!   I know it may go back over 300 after surgery but I think I just won't get on it and give it the opportunity. Ha! Who's the boss now, bossy scale?   Thanks to all of you at LBT I was able to vent my emotions last night and now I get to celebrate this morning. Thank you!   Oh, I haven't figured out the ticker thing yet so I am going to record here that I have now lost 21.1 lbs since 6/12/09. And I haven't been banded yet. :cursing:
Arb

Arb

1
 

Stress and My Band

I can only say that this past week has been a week from hell. Major stress with my son. I went for a fill appt. on 9/2 and the fill nurse and I decided not to do a fill. I have had no appetite and have really just been eating because I know I need to. The nurse said they have found that sometimes, under extreme stress, the stomach swells and you get restriction with the band even when you don't have a fill. They don't know why. I guess maybe that's what's happening to me. I don't really feel restricted, I just don't feel hungry. I guess the good news is I lost almost 5 lbs last week. I'm glad about that but would rather be fat than have this stress. Anyway, things are a little better today and I feel a little hungry. Yesterday I could feel the old "comfort food" yearning coming back. Don't like that at all! Hopefully, this week will get back closer to normal and I can concentrate on my health and continue this banded path.   The good news is that I am 8 lbs away from being in the 260's. Haven't been there since my son was born 23 years ago. I'm hoping to be there by Thanksgiving. I'm starting to believe that I can be at 250 by my 50th birthday in May. I will have one heck of a party then:smile2:!
Arb

Arb

1
 

Day 2 (how original)

Good day today. Kept busy. That helps A LOT! Had to go to funeral of a very dear uncle. I will miss him greatly but I have no doubt he is sitting with Jesus telling a good story! I love you, Uncle Curt! Protein shake for breakfast, LOTS of water, LOTS of bathroom trips, little more than I should have for lunch but not nearly as bad as it could have been. Standard midwest, after funeral lunch, with LOTS of great cooks contributing! Getting ready to have supper. It's late but that means I can eat and not want a snack in 2 hours since I'll be ready for bed. Maybe that's a plan, hmmmm, have to think about that one. Not much else happening today. Read more on surgery and am still excited. I guess that's a good sign....? Signing out for the day. Everyone hang in there and keep sharing. I really appreciate everyone's input.:thumbup:
Arb

Arb

1
 

Short and Sweet

I'm tired tonight so this will be short. Wanted to post just to stay in the habit. Had an egg for breakfast, cottage for lunch, protein shake for dinner. Hope I didn't mess anything up.   Spent 2 hours walking around an antique mall so guess that's why I'm so tired.   Goodnight.
Arb

Arb

1
 

Paying the Piper

Excuses, Excuses....I'm the queen of excuses! I worked 12 hour days last week and was wiped out at the end of the day, so.....I didn't exercise, I didn't track my food consumption, I didn't get in enough water every day, I did eat some comfort foods. Poor me!   The price....1.5 lbs gained!!   OK, enough of this CRAP!!! I don't care if I work 15 hr days this week, I am going to...   exercise at least 30 mins a day, track my food consumption, and get in 66 oz. of water EVERY DAY! I WILL NOT fall back into old habits and waste this opportunity I have been given!
Arb

Arb

1
 

Food -- Feels so good, Feels so bad

I pigged out yesterday. Pizza for lunch, steak for dinner. It tasted good but I felt HORRIBLE at the end of the day. I wanted to write this so I could go back and remember how truly awful I felt. Bloated, chest pain, lethargic, back pain, totally unable to do anything but try to go to sleep. I want to remember...:crying:
Arb

Arb

1
 

Uneventful Day

Went to work for 4.5 hours. Tired. Tomorrow is a full day. Maybe have to take a nap at lunch. LOL   My son's court date was extended to 9/15 so we have a bit of a reprieve and time to find an attorney. I'll keep praying for God's strength and mercy for my son and for myself.   3 mushie meals today: egg salad for breakfast, chicken salad and cottage cheese for lunch, broiled fish and a very few baked beans for dinner, plus 1 protein shake. Working on my last 20 oz of water now. Probably be up tonight peeing:mad:   Feeling much better emotionally since starting mushies. The fish tonight was amazing. White fish broiled with a little bit of butter, fresh garlic, dill herb mix and parsley. YUMMY! Even hubby liked it and he doesn't like anything that's not steak or fried.   OK, off to bed. Another day in this journey at an end.
Arb

Arb

1
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