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Harsh Realizations Today

Today was a tough day for a multitude of reasons. I was banded 6 days ago.   My 12 month old son has been sick for two weeks. Every day it seams as if there is a new symptom. He has been to the Dr 3 times in the past two weeks.Today after taking my son to the Dr. only to find out he may need stronger medication. I was wiped out. As I was leaving the Dr.s office still concerned about him, all I could think about was food. I should mention I was not hungry at this point.   I so badly wanted the comfort of stuffing my mouth full of some unhealthy food and binge to to numb my feelings or quiet my panic. I have never done or taken drugs. I don't drink but I now understand that somewhere along the line food became something it is not. Food became my Novocaine... after a problem I ate and didn't feel anything. At least that is what I thought. Now I realize I still felt something after I ate it wasn't numbness it was sadness.   I did not give into to my instincts or indulge in my temptations. I finally gave something back to myself... Respect. By not indulging in food I was forced to deal and to feel. Now as I write this I realize just what a precious journey we are all on. I look forward to getting to know myself again. this time around I promise to take better care of me so I can continue to take care of the ones I love!
donnaty

donnaty

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2 days after surgery

Friday, April 17th I was given a 2nd chance at life. A happier, slimmer, healthier life. I had the lap band surgery because I was getting nowhere with my weight loss on my own. I was going the other way. I was gaining 7 pounds per year. Yikes.   Currently, I am in very little pain from the incision sites. However i have this horrible pain on the left shoulder.   I am not hungry and every time I see food on the TV it makes queasy. I was a bit annoyed:scared2: when my husband brought home Carl's Jr for the kids for lunch. The condensation from the cups made me want a big gulp of soda.   I need to resign myself to the fact that I became overweight by eating too many unhealthy foods. I know what they taste like.... Therefore I am not missing anything! Right!!!!   Hello chicken broth, protein:tounge_smile::tounge_smile: shakes, and skinny jeans!
donnaty

donnaty

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