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I bought a new scale. It is a Weight Watchers scale.

I bought a new scale. It is a Weight Watchers scale. I have to say, it is nicer than my older one. When I stepped on it, I was nervous it would tell me I was heavier than the old scale. NOPE - LIGHTER! It read 246.6! Whoop! That number made me happy, considering last week I ate sweets EVERYDAY at work. Talk about a bad week for weight loss. Yikes! I am officially down 32.3 lbs! Yay me! I am relieved, and excited about the numbers going down. For a while, I was getting down hearted. It can be difficult not to compare myself to others. I knew as soon as I got a decent level of fill built up in my band, the numbers would start to change. Waiting is the hardest part. The relief on my husbands face is nice to see. I think he was worried when the weight didn’t start to shed right away. I am happy, he is happy, we are happy! I mentioned to him this morning, I am nearing the weight I was at when I began my pregnancy in April 2007. I was 240 when I stepped on the scale at the Dr.’s office. We had just returned from out honeymoon. I think I gained 5 lbs on the cruise. Ugh! Each new mark is great to see. Before long, I will need to clean out my closet. That will be exciting! What is great is I have plenty of cloths to fit into! I saved my cloths, so I won’t be shopping for a while. I have cloths all the way down to size 14. Currently I am a size 20/22 depending on the pant. I can’t wait to wear some of my tops again. They are nice and waiting for me. My boobs are getting smaller! I realize I am going to have to buy a few bras in the next month or so. Let’s talk fills….shall we. I have an apt for a fill this week. Still trying to decide if I need it, am I restricted enough?? During my TOM I noticed I tighten up. It was great! The amount of food I was comfortable eating decreased. The weight is coming off…..maybe I should wait on the fill. This week I am going to evaluate my eating, and weight loss. Right now, as it stands, I think I should cancel the apt for Friday. My hubby and I talked about it, and we decided to wait and see how this week goes. Will I loosen back up? That is the big question? Realistically, as long as I am loosing 1 lb a week, we are good to go. Goals: along with my 10 lb goals, I am hoping to loose another 15 lbs by December. I believe that is do-able. I am hesitant to set the goal higher, due to my slow beginnings. Can I take a moment to say, I love this band. Goal + Current weight loss = over 45 lbs! I love it. I am not unhappy with the weight loss, and feel happy to be loosing it slowly. My hope is to not have extra skin. It wouldn’t hurt my feeling one bit to avoid a tummy tuck. I am noticing a difference in my skin and hair. I have been taking a vitamin E gel capsule, calcium, and NeoCell, along with take a multi vitamin, liquid. Today, I ordered some children’s’ liquid iron. I’ve noticed I am bruising more & I figure adding some iron in every now and again would be wise. Seems like a lot of supplements’. I joke they are my breakfast or snacks.
AngieB2009

AngieB2009

7
 

Controversial topic

So I was reading on LBT and came across a thread about doing your own fill/unfill in a pinch/EMERGENCY. It was actually a poll with discussion. I voted, and then took the time to read through the posts. I have to admit it was interesting banter. I am a DIY kind’a gal in most circumstance. I have done some limited reading on the topic and have discussed this subject with my family. My husband thinks it is CRAZY as does my mother. My father and I have a slightly different perspective. During my pregnancy I administered my own shots. Although this is completely different than accessing a port, I mention this fact only to relay that I am capable of poking a large needle into my stomach. Although, I will say I have not done a 19 gauge needle in the tummy. Confidently, I do feel like I could do my own UNFILL in an emergency. That being said, I can say pretty confidently that my husband in an EMERGENCY would NOT be able to do it for me. Nope, he does not have what it takes. He can’t stand to see me in pain and it would bother him soo much. It would have to be in a situation where no one knew how to do it and I had the right equipment ect. Safety First! Also, I can forsee the situatiuon happening. Like when I visit my family in Wyoming. I would find it easier to trust myself over many of the health care providers there. Most likely I would walk someone through how to do it. I would also have to evaluate how bad off I was.....so many variables.... Here is how the question was posed. There are pages of responses. “Be honest.... Have you ever done your own fill/unfill? Even in a pinch? Scenario; it's late at night, your fill is too much, you are barfing your guts out, you can't even keep saliva down. You can't reach your doc (maybe he's not returning phone calls, perhaps he's in Mexico, etc.) and you are getting dehydrated. Many ER's don't have docs working that have a clue about a band. What do you do? Or, what have you done? BTW, this is a private poll, nobody will be able to see your response.”
AngieB2009

AngieB2009

7
 

TMI and emotional issues.

This is a subject of a more serious nature. It has to do with my emotions, or lack of emotion on a subject. My mother’s best friend Edna has stage 4 lung cancer, and is going to be passing on. I feel numb, with out emotion at all toward this subject. Growing up, our family was very close to theirs. She was like a second mom to me. Having little or no emotion causes me to feel bad and closed off from her. My dear mom is very upset, and is having difficulty dealing with the change in life. I am doing my best to be supportive, and say things that will make her feel better, however I find myself feeling numb. I realize why I am feeling the way I do. I am hoping a bit of writing will help me process and share what is going on. I’ll have to share a bit of a back story. So, please bear with me as I fill in some details. I am not entirely sure how old I was, but I will say young. Around kindergarten, first grade time frame of my life. My mom would have her best friend Edna’s boys’ watch us when they would go out. The boys’ names are Kenny and Alan. At any rate, I remember when they watched us we would play hide and go seek. We were paired up, and Kenny was always my partner. He and I hid in my parents’ closet. While we were waiting to be found, he pulled out his penis and made me stroke it. I remember my cheeks burning with embarrassment and I felt scared and forced to do something I didn’t want to do. When I told my parents about it, I remember getting in trouble for telling stories. I have always been an emotional person, and my mother thought I was not telling the truth and being dramatic. (I would cry when I told her about what was happening, why a kid would make something like that up is beyond me.) I continued speaking out, and they continued punishing me. Telling me what I was saying was not true. Oh denial is not bliss! It was not until my brother stepped in to advert a spanking for my tails, to defend me, and say my story was true, that I stopped getting into trouble. I was to young to know what went on, but I knew the boys’ didn’t watch us anymore from that time on. My folks handled the situation in the poorest of ways, they did nothing. Well, that is not exactly true, the boys never baby sat again, and my mother gave Kenny a tongue lashing, and told him she was keeping her eye on him. There are several issues that stemmed from this. My protectors did little to keep me safe. Our families where very close, we spent large amounts of time together, and that did not change. Mom and dad decided to not say anything. Our families where so close and by bring up what happened it would surely change the relationships between the two. My father thought I wouldn’t remember, as I was a young girl when this happened. Little did they know, it broke something inside of me and changed me for my life to come. Okay, so this really has little to do with Edna, and she has been a great friend to my mother and has always shown us love. When I talk to my mom and she brings up the subject, I don’t have any feelings. When my mother cries and struggles for words, I set there blankly not feeling anything. Right now my mother has been traveling back in forth from her house to Edna’s caring for her. Helping her do what needs to be done. She is a dying woman with little strength or stamina left. The only time I feel anything is when she brings up Kenny’s name. Then I feel anger and I want to say so much. Mostly I want to say don’t utter his name to me. I realize my parents are wrong, and we do not see eye to eye on what happened when I was a child or how they choose to deal with the fall out. I can not change them, or even get them to see my point of view. That fact I have accepted, and feel at peace about. What is hard for me is to listen to her talk about “him” to me. Have some tact and respect. She has a totally different perspective of what happened. I get that, but she knows how I feel about the subject. The only reason I am cutting her slack and not saying how I feel is to let her feel sadness and grief with out shutting the door to her. I know I will not be attending Edna’s funeral. I can’t trust myself to be respectful and honor her life. You know the saying …. “There is a time and place for everything.” I truly feel like if I would see Kenny, I would go up to him and speak my mind. Right there at the funeral. Oh wouldn’t that be nice. Me in all my grownupness and Kenny, talking about how he use to abuse me. What a shock to his wife and kids. My mother would be so happy! I have thought about finding him over the years, just to say what I wanted to say, but I had chosen to remain silent. Now I know where he lives, I suppose I will have to decide if I want to write him a letter or call him. At any rate, talking to my mom about this has let me know although I have come a long way from where out of the woods emotionally on this subject. I realize it is not Edna’s fault, why am I blocked emotionally when it comes to grief? I do know this, while I have been typing this out, the foodie in me has emerged. I went and bought a scrambled egg. Food is still my solace……at least I am choosing better even if I have chosen to eat my emotions. Baby steps, and progress not perfection. Right?! A scrambled egg is better than a pumpkin pie….a whole pumpkin pie.
AngieB2009

AngieB2009

7
 

Why is it....food to celebrate....grrr

Well this week has been a real challenge......it's "employee appriciation week" at work and WOW! Muffins, Cookies, Klondic Bars, Sandwiches, ect ect....Food Food Food Food. Plus I am having a visitor, so that makes me want sweets. Horrible time of the month to have will power! UGH! I pretty much feel like this.... I don't need much along the lines of temptation when it come to food......give me a break....I dive in head first.....
AngieB2009

AngieB2009

5
 

Drinking water ? big ol? drinks! Questions?

Okay so I had something unexpected happen this morning. I took a big-o-drink of water. More like three consecutive drinks. Swallow, swallow, swallow….you get what I am saying. I actually felt the water being held up. Like not super drastic, but I felt it in my stoma and throat. I felt a mild alert over the situation. Um, never had that happen before! Wow! Until this happened this morning I have been able to chug-a-lug my water at a good rate, any time of day. I know, some don’t understand why people like me drink so fast, but we are all different. I am a fish! Ha! Just kidding but I have a habit of drinking a couple of swallows each drink. Not all the time now as I am working on slowing down….but I am a drinker. I have been reading on this board for a while now, so there have been many subjects covered. Which I love, by the way, because it feels good to have working knowledge of the band, even if it is not my own working knowledge. : ) So, thank you all for sharing your band experiences! You are appreciated! That being said, I’ve thought it is strange when people talk about having a hard time getting there liquids in. Sipping through out the day….sucking on ice cubes, ect. I’ve read many posts about not being able to tolerate food in the mornings. Even some posts about not being able to eat anything solid until evening. That being said, I know our bands are fickle. Each person can have there band affected differently. Some talk about weather, flying, stress, their monthly visitor, a bad PB episode, drinking cold liquids, and much more, and how it can affect the bands tightness. What I would really like to know is how tight you prefer to keep your bands’? Do you keep your band snug enough to feel water back up if you drink a big ol’ drink? Are you a sipper? Can you eat in the mornings, or afternoons? Do you have to wait on your band to loosen up before a meal? Can you put into words what band restriction means to you? I am curious on what the “norm” is and if is varies a great deal from person to person. I am working on getting to my sweet spot or being in the green zone. For me, I can enjoy breakfast everyday. Depending on the food, I can eat a cup to ¾ cup of food at a meal. I focus mainly on protein and often feel like I leave out veggies and fruits almost completely. I seem to have better success when I eat steamed veggies vs. fresh veggies using broccoli and carrots as a good example of this. My band tolerates muffins and cake well, wish came as a surprise to me. We had treats at work and I tried these yummies and had no issues. I have no idea if I can eat bread, because I have cut it completely out of my diet. I no longer eat a sandwich or anything like that. I stick to the guts, the insides of a sandwich. Protein, protein, protein… I am planning on posting this in the forum as well as a blog entry. Please reply and share how you like your band, and what works best for you. Last monthish there were some great posts about a few gals feeling there bands were too tight. I know from your posts that being to tight does not equal weight loss or a safe way to keep your band. So all experience is valuable! I am scheduled for an up coming fill in December and I have
AngieB2009

AngieB2009

4
 

A Clean Slate

A Clean Slate   Posted by AngieB, Today, 07:49 AM Admin/Owner Options  Make This Entry A Draft
AngieB2009

AngieB2009

2
 

Let's talk about food with a crunch.

Let's talk about food with a crunch.   Make This Entry A Draft
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Posted by AngieB , Yesterday, 07:44 AM I brough several bags of Kay's Naturals foods They had a sale and a good sample package so I bought some goodies. When I focus on protein, I am finding more and more that I want something with a crunch. Now, I didn't realize I was a "cruchy" type of food eater. Before now, I have not been big into chips or foods that offered that crunch. Most of the proteins' I eat now are soft, chewy or meaty. That completely leaves out the crunch. So on the search I went.   This morning I had a bag of Honey Almond Protein cereal. When I opened the bag and poured some out, my first reaction was that the pieces looked airy. Taste was good for a protein cereal. Over all good taste for the nutrition facts. Resized to 79% (was 640 x 480) - Click image to enlarge   Resized to 79% (was 640 x 480) - Click image to enlarge     Provides me with crunch, protein, low calories, so it's a winner in my book. Here is the link to Kay's website. http://www.kaysnaturals.com/   Have a crunchy good day! Filed in protein with crunch, Kay's naturals
AngieB2009

AngieB2009

2
 

Hair Molting

Hair Molting   Posted by AngieB, Today, 09:18 AM Admin/Owner Options  Make This Entry A Draft
AngieB2009

AngieB2009

1
 

Getting a Grip!

Getting a Grip!   Posted by AngieB, Sep 18 2009, 11:39 AM Admin/Owner Options  Make This Entry A Draft
AngieB2009

AngieB2009

1
 

Moving right along

Alpha (Draft)   Posted by AngieB, Mar 23 2009, 01:57 PM Admin/Owner Options   Lock Entry [/b]:delete_entry(ipb_var_blog_url+'req=dodelentry&eid=211&st=40&auth_key=ae4b477863c1d1ac22634820fb775ea0')"]Delete Entry
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What a grand day to begin a blog! I am hoping this will help me organize my thoughts and set an account of the journey.   I have made a decision to be banded. My husband supports me, and is on board for the ride! (I love you Jim.) So now the lesson begins, research, humility, patience, saving, and relationship building. I have been surfing the forum now for a few days. Reading posts, introducing myself, and getting to know others who share this common ground. I've ordered the book, "Banded for Life." Waiting for it to arrive! I’ve been reading up on information in different websites, reading learning as I go. So far so good!   With all good things that have to be in a holding pattern, the anticipation is at an all time high. That being said, I am reminding myself to enjoy the process, not rush it. I will have the procedure soon enough. Now is the time to focus on mini goals. (A little self talk )   Jim and I have discussed a time frame. We have some bills to pay off first. I am hoping by June, we will be on a course that will allow us to comfortably and responsibly take on the debt of the surgery. Although, I wish it could be here much sooner, I am staying by if it's not practical it's not spiritual foundation. With all major life changes, "things" take time and I have to surrender to the process. (No pushing Angie! No pushing! Soon enough you will be at the front of the line!)   *Note to self, when I want to rush and push, remember to think about what and why you are doing this. How long it has taken you to get to where you are. Glaciers are not formed over night, nor do they melt in one day. Easy does it!   Action and short term goals.   Goals 1. Read and learn about the procedure, side affects, requirements. 2. Become a active member of the forum. 3. Build friendships. 4. Ask questions and offer support, and help when I can. 5. Practice patients. 6. Work toward budget Jim and I have set!   Action 1. Spending time on literature, and reading others accounts/experiences 2. I have introduced myself on the forum! 3. In progress, this will take time. I have added Robbyn as a friend on facebook! 4. I'm asking questions as they come up. 5. This one will take work! No pushing or rushing! * Read note to self! 6. a.We have been making good decisions on spending and putting money into savings. b. Set up a comfortable payment schedule to pay down debt by June.
AngieB2009

AngieB2009

1
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