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Who knows Nykee

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Doctors Appt. Aug 06

I went to the doctors yesterday and told him about stuff..:help:   I was referred to a urologist (spell?)... but I didnt know that until the urologist called today..:eek: I thought he said an MRI was being referred.? (another one!)   He switched my viccodan for ultram, just like I asked and wanted. I got a perscription for a cream in case I ever get a rash again. I got on high blood pressure medication and that made me cry, I am surpose to be getting healthier here!:confused: I weighed 342.. its climbing.. I didnt get the results of my blood yet..   I got bitched at for my use of prednisone.. (well ya know, not really) prednione this, prednisone that...(rash, diabeties, high blood pressure) I get 5mg a friggin day.. THAT CANT be harming me.. (I save it up and use it NOT in 5ml a day, I TELL HIM exactly how I use it.. ITS STILL such a low dose!)
Nykee

Nykee

3
 

Diabeties stuff

My blood sugar on the meter thing at the doctors has been 146, 132 and 150...   I just wanted to document that!   I showed up on monday and my doctor had all this education ready for me.. and insulin. HOW much to give myself depending on how high my numbers were and HOW to do it..   But he said "nevermind" and I was GLAD.   I dont plan on EVER having to learn that CRAP!
Nykee

Nykee

1
 

BANDVERSITY

My bandversity was Feb. 14th   I weighed in today, alittle late (cuz I was being so lazy, its in another town)   AND I am 335 pounds..   THATS 80 pounds.. LOST.. in a year   I CANT beleive it.. but its all true..   My life is really happening..   I HAVE NOT weighed this little since I was in college in 94-96   THATS ten FUCKING years (this does not include yo yo dieting of course)   I AM FUCKING AMAZING.... (not really, I am SUCH a BAD banster.. I cant even imagine how much I coulda lost if I was a good badster)   I am realy motivated now to be a better bandster.. we will see..   I was hoping all along this kind of thing would transform me into someone who can Do something right with my body for once and MAYBE IT can!   I LOVE ME.. I DO. :clap2: P.s... (as if this is a small thing) He checked my blood sugar and it was 160 I asked "is that ok" (yes I am a very nieve diabeties patient) HE said "its great, i exspected alot worse frankly" This wasnt my Regualar docter, he was kinda a dick.. SO HA HA.. he had mentioned maybe giving me some insolin since the solumederal is not a good idea to give someone with high sugars. I NEVER take my metformin (THATS A secret.. I NEVER take it.. I havent like EVER took it.. I mean ever regularily and SO WHAT IF I DID?? I would BE NORMAL blood by now (under 100) I SHOULD really take it and BLOW their freaking minds!
Nykee

Nykee

1
 

back to me crippled self

Being off the roids SUCKS..   I am back to crippled and tired and useless. pain pain pain, cant do nothing.   I had really hoped it was the weight loss..   Nope.
Nykee

Nykee

1
 

Ashless Birthday party

So, we had her Birthday Party. All of us and my sister, neice and her new man. Plus Ashlee's friend.   It went better than I could of ever hoped for.   She was totally surprised by her ID bracelet and very happy to have it and beemed expressions of feeling lucky and special. That was my intent.   She loved her Roses as she has never had any before and we are not a flower or jewlry kind of family.   The dinner went well at Applebee's, I had tomatoe soup and some Spinach dip and got alittle choked up but it subsided. Everyone else had HUGE and delicious meals. Sure would be nice to eat like that again.. NOT!!!   My sister went and paid the bill, The TURKEY. I tried to pay and it was already paid. THE SNEAK. I called her and she said "thanks for doing my taxes" OH BROTHER, it took me all of 5 minutes to do those taxes. But she did get a hefty refund.. So, HEY, Now I can pay the water bill!!   Ashlee then took off for the coast. She is staying in a motel with a HUGE jacuzzi hot tub in the room (this is a 99$ deal in Lincoln City we are fortunate to get in the winter months) With her boyfriend.. I KNOW I KNOW.. that sounds terrible.. But they been dating for 4 years and well I had to get over that a long time ago.   I wonder what the first "I am an adult" thing she will try to pull on me??
Nykee

Nykee

1
 

An Angel and the Crisis

Soo..   One day I am sent to a vocational doctor.. and I take the chance to run by her my proposal for ultram and how It will help me get my life back and lose weight and such,   She thinks its a GREAT idea. But she cant prescibe them due to the ins rules.   She has examined me thoughoughly.. she has talked to me and touched and checked me more at that time than my regular doctor ever did.   I tell her what my doctor has done. I cry knowing she will never give them to me.   She said, You let me take care of that, She gave me a referrall and said to take it to my doctors. It said that I was severely limited in mobility and that she reccomends me to have 6 ultram a day"   I did.. She laughed at it, like it was fake or something. GRRRRR   I got her to contact the voc doctor and she came back with a two page fax and a scowl on her face.   She was pissed.. She was out for my blood and this is what she said.   "OK.. YOu are getting what you want. I hope your happy now that you got your way"   "6 ultram a day? I DONT THINK SO... you can have 4 a day"   "you will have to come in every two weeks to pick up your prescription from this office, it cannot be called into the pharmacy" (not true, that was her rule)   "I want to see you every two weeks as well.. I want to see the look on your face"   Suddenly..   I had to come in every two weeks and weigh myself.   I HAD TO LOOSE 10 pounds a month OR ELSE I would NOT get anymore pills. I had to bring in a journal of the food I ate for the week"   "YOU think this pill will save your life and make you super women.. then proove it.. IFyour twice as active as you claim to be than the weight should fall off. "   "I need proof that this pill is working for you. I refuse to prescribe it for pain. I am prescribing it for you to lose weight. IF it fails to end in weight loss than I will not prescribe these to you ever again"   "ITs all up to you now. You wanted them, you have convinced yourself and lets see you try to convince me"   "If you keep up the loss of 10 pounds a month, I will continue to give them to you.. IF NOT.. THEY ARE GONE!"   "I dont want you to blame me either... dont come crying to me, this is your chance.. May i suggest you try the prism diet, I lost 15 pounds and it was really hard but if I can do it, you can do it"   CRAZY BITCH comparing a 130 pound women to a 350 pound one.   Needless to say... I was obsessed with loosing the weight..   I didnt care as much about loosing weight as I cared about being mobile and normal again. But I had to push hard to lose the 5 pounds every two weeks. It was so stressfull to have your life hangin in the balance contingent on weather you lose weight when you failed all your life to lose.   First month easy. She loved to make fun of my journals.   second month I was down by one pound and she let it slide. WHEW   Third month..I lost 7 pounds the first half and in the second half I was in a major car crash and couldnt walk for a week..   I didnt lose the weight and I gained 2 pounds, making my loss neggative by 6 pounds. I couldnt exersize as I had been.   She said the car crash was an excuse. (I had proof, it was bad, I was black and blue all over my stomach and legs and shoulddres)   I had lost 25 pounds in three months.. slow and steady.. And she yanked me.   I was devestated.   So.. I saught another doctor and when I did, she told them I was a drug seeker. I had refused to sign narcotic release forms and I didnt comply with perscribed care.   I had NEVEr had any pills cept ultram and I only got them twice a month and on my periods (I had only once every 2 to 3 months) I had never claimed to loose them, never asked for more. I HAD NOT DONE ANYTHIGN at all, that could possibly show drug seeking. She had NEVER asked me to sign anything. And not complying with care is NOT loosing 25 pounds in three months?   New doctors did not care about getting facts and proof, they automatically got this look and belevied her on her word. I was humiliated and felt so wronged   THEN SHe sends me a certified letter saying she is releasing me from her care becasue I got agressive with her and I treated her nursing staff rudely and I didnt comply with care. The next report used the words Abusive instead of aggressive.   I never yelled, I never left my seat, I didnt motion at her, I didnt slam a door, I didnt stomp, alll I ever did was cry and try to explain myslef. I always felt inferiour and affraid of her.. I was in no way rude to the nurses. I was always nice. They took me to weigh my self and I would chit chat about how I hoped I made the weight.   I had to go into crisis counseling after this. I was affraid of finding a doctor and I was crippled again.   NOW I am back to the WLS story.
Nykee

Nykee

1
 

AMAZING aftercare!

February 7th   Today i woke up with the same kind of extreem restrcition that I had yesterday, but worse. Yesterday at noon I had one ounce of milk and burped and gurgles on it for hours. Today I didnt dare drink a thing, then I found I was gurgling and burping (on my saliva obviously) I got scared. I felt I should try to NIP this swelling in the BUD. It was FINE, until my period started and it should be fine after. BUT NOt if I let it swell upon swell upon swell until Its gone too far. NOW, to get a slight unfil, would only cause more swelling and I would end up losing most my fill anyway. So of course I dont want to do that. That already happened in November and I spent ALL THESE months NOT losing any weight and saving money to buy another fill. The way to NIP it in the Bud before it gets out of control... (in case I found my self choking and sliming and spitting on my own saliva, which is ABUSE of my band) Is to take antiinflamitories in huge doses. Seeings how I couldnt even sip water.. I needed it intraveniously. I went to Urgent Care and I told them my story and I got a BIG ol DOSE by needle. Now I have a prescription for HUGE doses to take at night when I am open, to see if it helps the AM swelling!! JUST WHAT I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED!!!!! I WAS SO WORRIED.. I WANTED THIS SO BAD. I though NO one would ever listen, ever care enough.. The doctor was soooooooooo Nice.. He was totally interested, he felt for my port, he asked me a ton of questions, he was very thoughrough.. and SIMPLY, I COULD TELL.. HE CARED. HE wanted me to continue to have success on this thing and he knew I lost 70 pounds (he spoke to my primary care doctor) and He saw some dehydration in my mouth (how, I dunno..I mean some dryness, Not dehydration) and Anyway.. He said COME IN ANYTIME I NEED IT intraveniously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which obviously would be when I am having problems sipping anything.. Which shouldnt be a probelm once my period goes away. I HAVE BEEN SO LUCKY with this aftercare... SO lucky not to be judged and dismissed and not listened to.. SO lucky to have such caring and compassionate doctors.. MY FILL DOCTOR is like not even an hour away.. she just told me to NEVER not come in due to lack of funds if I need a fill.. TO NOT go all those months needed a fill.. she will work with me.. SHE also said if this fill OR any fill isnt enough and I decide I want another one within a week and a half or so.. SHE WILL GIVE ME MORE, NO charge! She also said if the lady who makes the appointments says there are no openings.. TELL her I am coming ANYWAY and JUST COME>. WOW WOW OWWO My own primary care doctor is new to all this, and he is so open to learning and working with me. (he is the one who told me to go to urgent care, cuz it was easier to get the IV that way instead of at his office) He has NEVER failed me.. EVEr Now this Doctor at the Urgent care.. He didnt know much, but so willing to listen and look things up and well .. YEAH.. WOW PLUS, remember in JUNE I had to go to the ER.. cuz I had choked for hours on pills after being filled in Mexicool. and they filled my with antiinflamitories (but it was too late for that) and they used a spinal neddlle and having NEVER done a unfill on a lapband before, they all rallied around and unfilled me.. (on the phone with Ortiz to guide them) ANYWAY I FEEEEL SO AMAZINGLY CARED FOR>. :) :) :) :)
Nykee

Nykee

1
 

Am to PM/ Shot /prednisone

I took the 40mg of antiinflitories last night and either it wasnt enough or It wore off.,.   The shot they gave me lasted 24 hours..!!!   Tonight I will take the 60mg he reccomended.   I dont like the idea of taking all this pill form prednisone.. I dont know why I think the shot is any different.. But it just seems that way.   I only take these amounts of prednisone when I have a few days of something very physical to do like go camping or go to a family gettogether or go on a date.   I have been told that prednisone makes ya really irritable and well I have starteded to notice how I feel irritable after I get home from my bouts of prednisone and the extra physical activity.. BUt I dont care, I rather of had a goood time where I was able to walk and be physical then not do it just to be less grumpy later.   So, taking that much DAILY.. just to decrease AM restrcition just dont seem like a good idea.   YET, if I dont find a way to be less restricted in the AM, THAN I cant find a way to be MORE restrcited in the PM.. (so needed)   I am going to look up what the shot was exactly.. it wasnt called prednisone.. see what it is..   Plus that shot opened me up WAY WAY too much and lasted 25 hours.. I mean I was able to eat a whole slice of pizza and gulp it down with like 3 cups of milk.. THAT is completely TOO loose of course.. So I need to ask them what Milligrams they gave me and remember thats too much.. AND see what those millagrams are compared to what the 60ml of prednisone is..   THERE MUST BE A WAY to fix this!
Nykee

Nykee

1
 

Almost there

I am all ready to get a gastric bypass with Emma patterson when I find out that I am Not going to get medicare like everyone said i was. I have to have medicade and WLS is excluded.   Well my only choice now is to self pay in mexico. I call a place and end up having so many problems on the phone that one day I get on line and just look up someone else. I dial   It was the Obesity Control center. A lady tells me all about the band. I had considered the band but decided Gb was a better idea. But now I was sold on the band. She gives me a date for less than 2 months away.   This is it.. I have a date. All my dreams are realized. FINALLY..   I become sullen. I dont want to be here.   I kinda check out. I dont research or find support or anything.   I feel guilty and wrong and pissed that I have to do this.   Hard to feel good about something that reminds you of your most extreem failures.   I loose the manditory 40 pounds pre op ... I am desperate because I just KNOW that if I dont get the band, i will not choose to be a burdon to this world anymore. I am ready to die.. Its DO or DIE   It was Feb 14th when I get on a plane for the first time.   I have a cashiers check for 9500$ (the cost of a trailer home for my family)
Nykee

Nykee

1
 

5000 calories

I had a 5000 calorie day today   I had like 80 ounces of whole milk 60 ounces of grape juice 6 hershey kisses 25 almonds spegetti noodles, with butter sauasge, eggs and fried potatoes ketsup, mayo cocoa krispies cerial   :help:
Nykee

Nykee

1
 

2011 . wow. Its been so long. Am I ready to blog again about this stuff?? I dunno. 2011

Just... in the exact same position I was when I left off here years ago. I am STILL around 320 pounds... and i am STILL TIGHT and have restriciton problems constantly. But instead of trying to fix it with prednisone, I just deal with it. I choke every day. On food or water.   I think.. ill just start off with a food journal. I just gave up cookies yesterdaty or so I tell myself, we shall see. I gave up candy 10 months ago, and have had NO candy since. Which is mindboggling.   I have not done a food journal for months. I got to see where I can make changes. See if what I THINK, is really the Truth.   Tuesday April 12th   11am. - 2 pills and one gulp of 100% Grape Juice. 12:45pm- 4 tortilla chips 2:30 - One inch section of granola bar ariel handed me and I took. 3:30 -Now.. and Im hungry. but... ya. I can still feel that granola bite, in my throat. 5:00 = 3/4 cup mashed potatoes with gravy (from this dinner thing, i fed the meat to the dogs) 20 ounces 1% milk, with nesquick 7:40 - eating Rye chips right now.   hey. I should go to fit day.
Nykee

Nykee

1
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