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The Optics of Obesity and Food Porn on TV

So…day three of the liquid fast and I am doing well. However, it has been said that perspective is a wonderful thing…it can help you see new options and often reveal things to which you have become immune. For me the new revelation is how much food is advertised on TV. Like most of us here, I would go on diets and minimize some foods, but never really thought of them as off-limits, just delayed. I returned home from the gym last night, sat in my favorite chair, cracked open a Slim-fast and prepared to watch some TV. Then the parade of food porn began, minus the bad Jacuzzi jazz, first it was Chili’s, then Applebee’s, then Outback Steak House, then Taco Bell (I don’t like them, but still food), then Pizza Hut and it just kept going.   I couldn’t take it…I had to stop watching. I looked at my wife and said I have to go read a book, I was optically over stimulated. I was not hungry, but marketing weasels did a good job and I wanted to eat. I removed myself from the TV and went to another room. After I downed my Slim-fast and read for awhile and I stopped thinking about food. Going forward, Tivo will be my new best friend so I can fast forward through those commercials in the future. It was a great opportunity to learn more about how my brain works, how effective the marketing weasels can be and how to manage the urges of my gluttonous past.
Cingulus

Cingulus

2
 

Lead Me Not Into Temptatoin

Back to work on Monday and had to face the first lunch on the liquid diet. I took my Slim-Fast with me to Red Robin and ordered an Iced Tea to drink. It was odd, since everyone felt the need to feed me, when I was fixed on having just my protein drink. I got through one of the first hurdles, on dealing with public eating. Just a short post for today.
Cingulus

Cingulus

3
 

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Yesterday was the first day of trying the liquids to lose my required 20 lbs. It was a great test of my cognitive programming. I went to Trader Joes to buy a supply of drinks and liquid vitamins. As I was driving to the store, I noticed signs for two new restaurants in my area (PF Changs and the Yard House), my initial reaction was, cool I love their…oh shit can’t do that anymore…ok must re-boot and upload new behavioral code. I was both dismayed at my Pavlovian training towards food and pleased to be able to recognize the behavior for what is was and manage the reaction. Next, I went the gym, and ran a few errands.   However, while I was out my wife sent me a text and asking for some items from the grocery store…ok, not a problem, it was a short list. I picked all of the other the stuff and went over to the deli counter for the final item…sliced turkey, at the counter they handed me the first slice as a sample and I ate it without thinking. Damn, busted by my own reactions. Now, I realize that a single slice of turkey will not ruin an otherwise on target day of protein drinks, but it was amazing to me how ingrained the food response is in my life. I am sure most of you out there have had these moments of epiphany and have overcome them. Obviously, this event shows how much of the process is mental, not physical, but God I felt like the dog when bell rang.   The final challenge of the day was going to bed, the stomach growled, and I can’t sleep when I am hungry. Not to fear…I did go find another protein drink and got through the night, but as I was thinking about my eating habits, it became clear to me the night time is my greatest challenge and I have to come up with a new plan for laying myself down to sleep…I tried, Enter Sandman from Metallica, but that did not work either. I think I will have to start some herbal teas or something else. I told my wife sex every night would help…I am male after all. So what do you guys do to get through the night time munchies?
Cingulus

Cingulus

3
 

Dear Food, I want a Divorce...

It is not that I don’t love you, but you’re not good for me. As they said in the movie…I just not that into you. I am sure you won’t take this news well and fight the inevitable. Please don’t. We got together when I was young and stupid and did not understand what I was doing to myself. Yes, we will have to see each other on occasion, but I promise it won’t be awkward. We will have a more business like relationship. I wish you all the best, but it is time for me to move on and correct the mistakes of my youth.
Cingulus

Cingulus

1
 

As they said in the Blues Brothers..."Were on a Mission..."

Elwood: It’s a 106 miles to Chicago…We have half a tank of gas…It’s dark and we are where sun glasses…   Jake: Hit it.   Just got back from the doctors and after a few hours of forms, rapid fire questions, poking, prodding and credit card charges we are moving forward. I weighted it at 373 lbs. with a 56.8 BMI and lean body mass of 206 lbs. This gives me a target weight of 240 based on a 20 BMI. So next steps are:   1. Read the patients manual   2. EKG and blood work the week of March 30, 2009   3. Lose 20 Lbs before the surgery date   4. Pre-op meetings and registration on April 21st   5. Surgery Date May 6th   The shrink questions were a predictable combination of pabulum, inane drivel and obvious traps. I am not, really, sure what they were looking for in this process. All of that aside, I liked the Doc and we are on track to complete the mission. He suggested starting a pre-liquid diet for the next few weeks on protein drinks for breakfast and lunch with small dinner of protein and a salad. Then move to the full liquid diet two weeks in advance. I was surprised to find out one of the key reasons for the liquid diet before the surgery was to shrink the liver, which provides more working room during the surgery itself. So, tomorrow is the beginning of my mission to hit the target weight of 240 lbs.
Cingulus

Cingulus

1
 

The Check is in the Mail

The Check is in the Mail So I got a call from Dr. Oliak’s office yesterday outlining the exact payment details, $16K total:   • One Check for the Hospital $7,000 (cashier’s check or CC)   • One for the doctor $8400 (Did not specify the grade of payment?)   • One for Anesthesiologists $600 (But leave the name blank so it can be filled in after the surgery, and they will take a personal check for 600, ahh…the trust   I realize they need to be paid, but they really need some polish in how they deliver the message. I know some other places cost less, but I felt comfortable with the team and that is worth a bit more. I continue to be filled with anticipation and ready to get this going. 24 hours to get the show on the road. I hope I can start the pre-op diet on Saturday.
Cingulus

Cingulus

2
 

Cash, Cathartics and Compensation

Hello, As noted before, I will have to self pay for the LB. I had been trying to figure out what combination of funds to jungle to make this happen and we figured that out last night. I find myself wanting to go in now and get this thing moving. I want to start and keep my motivation high. Second, despite not feeling the feeling a loss for foods I won’t be eating going forward I seem to be doing a final rush of eating in anticipation of the stringent changes to occur. The competitive side of me wants to peak my pre-op weight to set a “bigger loss” number. Intellectually, I recognize this behavior as childish and detrimental, but I have been thinking that way. In a twisted way, part of it is my competitive nature and part of it is the self destructive tendencies that got me in this whole in the first place. Go figure… Third, I think reading and car modification will become my new rewards system to celebrate vs. meals. That’s all for today.
Cingulus

Cingulus

1
 

See the Doc on 3/27

Hi Folks, So I go in for the first doctors consult on Friday 3/27/09. Although I have only been to the introductory session, I already find myself examining my pre-op meals. My mind is determining if I can have the food consumed in a post-op world. It is not a craving, or a sense of loss, but merely a scientific curiosity about how, or if, this food could be processed through the band. The thing that has really stuck me in mentally preparing for the LB is how much is to be gained through this process. I am sure during the pre-op diet and post-op liquids I may feel different, but I already find my mind set changing about food. I am acknowledging, to myself, that I can live without food X, Y or Z for the first time in my life. My biggest concern is addiction transference. In reading many posts, some people are offended to be labeled as food addicts, but I know that I am. So what will I do to control and manage the addiction? How can I positively use the obsessive nature of additions as a force for bodily good vs. evil? In my mind transference to exercise must occur to provide the tools for dealing with emotional/stress eating. Second, I need to find a new reward system other than nice meals. Thoughts and/or suggestions?
Cingulus

Cingulus

7
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