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Blog 61341

A blog by Cingulus

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2nd Fill Tomorrow?Finding ?The Green Zone??

“The Green Zone,” Matt Damon’s new movie opens tomorrow. Not a big surprise…it is about the green zone in Iraq and our intrepid hero is entering the fray to unlock CIA conspiracy, kick some ass and otherwise fight the good fight…did Jason Bourne ever go to Iraq? Anyway, I will be taking in the movie over the weekend. However, the green zone that I am really interested in is the lap band green zone. Tomorrow is the day for my second fill. I sit at 5.5 ccs and I would guess that I will go to 7 ccs. According to my doctor, in the green zone I should be able to eat 3 meals per day and not be noticeably hungry between meals. Based on that definition, I am not in the green zone. I would have to say I am in the yellow zone. For the past 4 weeks, I have been eating solid 8oz meals every 3-4 hours and I do get hungry. It is livable and manageable, but nowhere new the promise of lap band restriction. Conventional wisdom, with the band, seems to be 2-4 fills before folks who find restriction, achieve it. Hopefully, Friday will be a landmark day in the band process and on Saturday I will visit both, “The Green Zones,” the movie and lap band restriction.

March 11, 2010

1

Eat This, Not That?

Now that I can start to eat again, one of the biggest challenges is eating out or getting out and finding yourself getting hungry. I think the best tool I have found is an iphone app from Men’s Health called Eat This, Not That $4.99. The key thing I like it is provides an encyclopedia of hundreds of restaurants and thousands of grocery store items. It will allow you to look up a specific eatery and it will show you the best food items on the menu. It will also allow you to select multiple food items and compare them. It provides not only protein/carbs and fats but sodium and other key food composition tid bits. I have also found that almost every place has a grilled chicken sandwich, sans bread that can work for a good protein meal. The really cool part is you can enter the food you want and it will then suggest a lower calorie and fat option. This might change where you go to dinner, but it will help keep you on track without making huge sacrifices to taste. Online it has gotten some harsh reviews because the books can be more complete, but it really works for me.

February 15, 2010

2

I Have a Lap for the Laptop?

I had a shocking revelation today. I was able to use my lap for a laptop. I have never done this before. Then it dawned on me, I have been fat since before there were laptops…ouch. I really should not be surprised, but I am. I believe this qualifies as one of those NSVs, but it was still somewhat disturbing that I have been fat longer than laptops have existed. I do travel almost every week for my job and I have over 3,000,000 miles on American Airlines alone, and about that many on United and other airlines. I even bought my roll-aboard suitcase because it made a good table for my laptop when I was on the road. OK…probably not the most earth-shattering event ever, but very helpful anyway.

March 2, 2010

1

I Will Not Go Quietly Into Bandster Hell

We all know that the proper expectations with the band is to take things slow…have no weight loss expectations before the first fill and then expect slow, constant weight loss when we hit the “sweet spot.” My reaction to this sensible and well support council is a defiant NO! I am fully aware that this is a long term process, but I intend to accelerate it along as quickly as possible. I am not going to go through this process and personal costs (I am self pay) and not fight this battle as hard as I can with every weapon at my disposal. I am only speaking for myself, but I will not accept that I have to wait months to make progress after surgery. If I can make through almost 3 months of pre-op dieting then, I can make it through “Bandster Hell” bring on the devil, I will vanquish him with faith, determination and a single minded purpose. Yes, these are big words from a guy who has failed in the past, but I cannot and will not fail this time. I know it is easy for me to say this as a pre-op bandster…who has not been sitting up at midnight drinking broth that is not helping the hunger. However, we all know this measure of hellish circumstances is temporary and the empirical evidence supports that it can be overcome and this phase of the bandster cycle and have the success we all seek and need in our lives. OK off my self help soap box :w00t:

June 2, 2009

6

I Bet $16,000 on 30...

So the number 30 is looming large in my mind today: • 30 Bites – Chew, Baby Chew…this is going to be one of the biggest items for me. I am sure if I don’t , the Lapband will let me know. I just worry about forgetting to eat slow and swallowing to soon. • 30 Sets –of weights for my muscle workout days across 3 body parts per/day. Gotta, keep up the Vin Diesel look. :wub: • 30 Minutes – or more of cardio everyday seems to be the biggest key to success factor after eating right. Based on what I have read, this is seems to be what separates those who succeed with the Lapband from those who struggle. • 30 Hours – to get the surgery done, get some sleep and start recovery. Walking, stationary bike and good broth. I can’t wait… • 30 Days - until my surgery occurs, I have been making good progress on dropping the required twenty pounds for my banding. All I can say is…Shrink Liver…Shrink Damn YOU! • 30 Weeks – Needed to drop 100 pounds and reach my first major goal of returning to my MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) fighting weight 271 Lbs, then another 30 weeks to reach my second goal of 197lbs my wrestling weight. • 30 Years – Time to make up for 30 years of eating sins, caloric substance abuse and psychological games. I was 15 the last time I had my weight where I wanted it. 30 is my new favorite number…I think it is time to go to Vegas and find a roulette wheel.

April 7, 2009

2

The Deed is Done?Don?t Let the Villain Rise Again

So the deed is done, i have the band and this story will not end like most bad blockbuster movies with the heroes having triumphed and the villain has slithering away to return in the squeal do next summer. Screw That! After getting banded I have no interest in seeing the weight-loss sequel. I just want the pounds-I-have-to-lose villain dead. One of the things I loved about the movie “Taken” is the Liam Neeson’s character does not try to be to be heroic. He is simply on a mission to find his daughter and take her home. He systematically finds the next bad guy, beat the crap out of him for the information he needs, then kills them so they can’t come back to haunt him. In the final scene, he does not taunt and gloat over the villain giving them a chance to cleverly get away. He simply shoots the ultimate villain and takes his daughter home. Now that I have the band, that is my plan for the pounds I have to lose and they are the villain. I plan on killing them cleanly and quickly with little fuss and no parades. Yes, my testosterone is talking, but I am a guy…deal with it. I am three days post op and went to the gym, did 30 minutes on the elliptical and I am hunting down those evil pounds like they have my daughter and I her want it back. My 26th anniversary is coming up and my wife asked me today if I wanted anything special. I told her no. My mission right now is to kill those villainous pounds and stay focused on the target. Those who have read some of my past blogs know I can be a bit over the top…and I am. However, that does not change my conviction and mission to make a great movie about losing weight , the villain will die at the end and there will be no sequel.

January 31, 2010

5

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Bear?

So I will warn the ladies this is guys blog…I came across a real unexpected side effect of the LB surgery…the hair grows back. I can hear the collective “EEEEEWWWWWHHHH!” from the ladies, but I am hairy like a Wookie. Chewbacca could be my long lost brother. I new they would have to shave me for the operation, but it forgot how much it would itch growing back and the damn stuff is poking through the clear bandages like grass growing through concrete. Of course I can’t itch it very much and it is driving me crazy. I am sure my wife, who read these blogs as well, will be laughing and telling me this is what my beard feels like when it is cut to short and it is rubbed against her. So how does a bear itch in the woods…very carefully …with a fine grain emery board. Yes, this proven manicurist tool is the right tool for the job. It provides relief and does not seem to affect the bandage device. Bowling for Soup has a great line in one of their new songs. “Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear/Fuzzy Wuzzy had to much hair/so Fuzzy wasn’t fuzzy…was he?”

February 3, 2010

2

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Yesterday was the first day of trying the liquids to lose my required 20 lbs. It was a great test of my cognitive programming. I went to Trader Joes to buy a supply of drinks and liquid vitamins. As I was driving to the store, I noticed signs for two new restaurants in my area (PF Changs and the Yard House), my initial reaction was, cool I love their…oh shit can’t do that anymore…ok must re-boot and upload new behavioral code. I was both dismayed at my Pavlovian training towards food and pleased to be able to recognize the behavior for what is was and manage the reaction. Next, I went the gym, and ran a few errands. However, while I was out my wife sent me a text and asking for some items from the grocery store…ok, not a problem, it was a short list. I picked all of the other the stuff and went over to the deli counter for the final item…sliced turkey, at the counter they handed me the first slice as a sample and I ate it without thinking. Damn, busted by my own reactions. Now, I realize that a single slice of turkey will not ruin an otherwise on target day of protein drinks, but it was amazing to me how ingrained the food response is in my life. I am sure most of you out there have had these moments of epiphany and have overcome them. Obviously, this event shows how much of the process is mental, not physical, but God I felt like the dog when bell rang. The final challenge of the day was going to bed, the stomach growled, and I can’t sleep when I am hungry. Not to fear…I did go find another protein drink and got through the night, but as I was thinking about my eating habits, it became clear to me the night time is my greatest challenge and I have to come up with a new plan for laying myself down to sleep…I tried, Enter Sandman from Metallica, but that did not work either. I think I will have to start some herbal teas or something else. I told my wife sex every night would help…I am male after all. So what do you guys do to get through the night time munchies?

March 29, 2009

3

Frozen Yogurt?Essential or Evil

I have not seen much posted about non-fat frozen yogurt? Which I must confess, I find somewhat surprising...so it has led me to ask. Is there some inherent evil associated with this diet friendly treat and the Lapband? An inquiring mind wants to know… I am planning on it being part of my post-op repertoire…or so I think? Second, it may just be my imagination, but it seems (no scientific data), that many of the newer banders are struggling with post-op weight gain and slow starts. While a few fortunate souls are making rapid progress, again the individual variable strikes…no two banders are the same. No real point to make…just an observation. Other than that it was a good gym day and we went to the Long Beach Grand Prix and got to meet Danica Patrick. Yes, she is as adorable in person. I am sorry to report, that they had the good corners of the drifting competition reserved for the VIP seats. The events held at Irwindale Speedway are much better, the venue is easier to get to and the layout is more crowd friendly. I everyone had a good weekend.

April 19, 2009

2

The Check is in the Mail

The Check is in the Mail So I got a call from Dr. Oliak’s office yesterday outlining the exact payment details, $16K total: • One Check for the Hospital $7,000 (cashier’s check or CC) • One for the doctor $8400 (Did not specify the grade of payment?) • One for Anesthesiologists $600 (But leave the name blank so it can be filled in after the surgery, and they will take a personal check for 600, ahh…the trust I realize they need to be paid, but they really need some polish in how they deliver the message. I know some other places cost less, but I felt comfortable with the team and that is worth a bit more. I continue to be filled with anticipation and ready to get this going. 24 hours to get the show on the road. I hope I can start the pre-op diet on Saturday.

March 26, 2009

2

The Waiting is the Hardest Part?

In the immortal words of Tom Petty, “the Waaaaaiiiting is the hardest part.” I know that I am only 5 days post-op. I don’t want to wait for day 365. I know I will do the work and follow the right diet. I just want that year to be over so we get to those highly desired AFTER photos. I had really thought that going back to work would distract me and help me let time slide by, but alas that is not the case. I am neurotically thinking about the band and getting to the gym. Today was my first day back at work and the first thing I found out…my port is at just the right high to hit my desk. I found a new chair just one extra inch higher and that was enough…you have no idea how hard it is for me not make off-color jokes here…no men never really grow up. OK back on topic. I am fortunate that I can keep a small refrigerator in my office and it is stocked with new protein drinks…I went back to MuscleMilk, Optifast SUCKS! I have plenty of Jell-O cups and some Isopure drinks. Since I am posting this blog during my thrilling staff meeting today, I guess that confirms my distraction level. I can now confirm that the process is not that bad, but the waiting is truly the hardest part.

February 1, 2010

3

Lapband Decathlon

I feel like I am in training for the Olympic decathlon, trying to balance the ten events of LapBanding: 1. Seminar – A hurdle cleared with ease… 2. Doctor Visit – A short, but grueling barrage of questions… 3. Head Doctor – Yes, it is just a cigar…Get over it…No I don’t want to talk about my mother… 4. Blood and EKG – 100 Yard dash of testing, seemed to be done to quick to matter, but who cares we move forward 5. Payment/Insurance (Self pay in my case) – Need to pay off my biggest CC so I can use it, getting Cashier’s checks are too much of pain and this way I can’t get the amount wrong. 6. Pro-op Fasting (Shrink liver…Shrink) – In process, but this is a longer run… 7. Pre-op day prepping – Set for April 21 8. Surgery – Set for May 6th 9. Recovery – Got the big body pillow to sleep on…My wife calls it my new mistress…further comments on this subject can only result in me saying something self-destructive. 10. Be a good Lapbander and follow the program – Making plans, as Bobby Knight would say, “Prepare to Win!”

April 8, 2009

1

The Joy of Deletion

I love clothes…my wife says I am just one hair’s breath away from being gay when it comes to clothes. However, today I deleted my email from Rochester’s Big and Tall. As all of us know one the purposes of the lap band is to delete many things from our lives (weight, health issues etc.), while have not had the surgery yet, I still deleted my Rochester’s Big and Tall email, because…I don’t plan on ever buying anything from them again. It may just be mental masturbation, but it feels good all the same. I suspect all of us have multiple sized wardrobes in our closet and I can say with confidence that I have plenty of clothes to go through the shrinking phases and come out on the other side without ever going to a big and tall store again. In the movie the replacements Gene Hackman, who plays a football coach, tells Keanu Reeves, the team’s quarterback…”I look at you and see two men, the man you are and the man you can be…someday they will meet and make a great quarterback.” That is kind how I feel about deleting my Rochester’s email. The day of my large self and smaller self are on a path of convergence and it will be a great day.

April 3, 2009

1

Bloodhound Blues

I was had a great day yesterday work was good, stayed on diet task with drinks, went to the gym. Then I went home and my son was making grilled cheese and chili for dinner. The smell was killing me, so I went up stairs hoping to escape the seductive aromas. That did not work…I could still caught the faint whiff of things tempting me below. I opened the windows and turn on the fan to draw it some fresh air…it still did not work. Finally, I left and went for a drive although I swear I could smell it on my clothes. By this point, I am sure it was sure my imagination was planning games with me, but it was stuck in my head. I remembered a scene from an old CSI where they put Vick’s vaper rub under their nose to get over the smell of decomposing corpses tried it…and it did worked. I am not sure what this means, but I may have to ban cooking the house for a few more weeks.

April 2, 2009

2

What Bob Marley taught me about the LapBand

I was listening to Bob at the gym last night and as I felt the ocean breeze cover my mind. I found his music talking to me and here is what it said to me: 1. Jamming – Just keep jamming at any goal, it is hill that is climbed one step at a time. 2. Waiting in Vain – Waiting for some else to fix things is a vain hope. Lab bands give us a plan. 3. Get Up, Stand Up – Getting up, standing up and not giving up the fight is the only way to do this. 4. Satisfy my Soul – I need this to satisfy my soul and move forward in life. 5. I Shot the Sherriff – I going to shoot my old self and release myself from jail. 6. Redemption Songs – I am looking for redemption from my body for years of abuse, knees please forgive me. What Bob Marley songs speak to you?

April 10, 2009

2

Give me the Juice Baby?Seeking the Right Energy Drink Replacement

OK…let me dispense with the rationalization. I understand the many pros, cons, limitation and issues with caffeine. I am will to submit to vast majority of good ole’ common sense items with being banded, but I want my caffeine fix…I don’t drink coffee, tea lacks the punch and banders can’t really deal with carbonation which kills Red Bull, RockStar and almost all the other energy drinks. So how to get my legal dose a speed when required. I have started using 5 hour energy shots and they seem to fill the gap, non carbonated, only 4 calories and plenty of kick. The site below review over 300 energy drinks :tounge_smile: http://energy-drink-ratings.blogspot.com/2008/03/extra-strength-5-hour-energy-drink.html Any other thoughts out there on band friendly energy products…that will not land me in a Turkish prison.

April 20, 2009

2

I Funny Thing Happened on the Way to The Doctors

So I got up this morning expecting to go Dr. Oliak’s office for my pre-op day and shit happened. I got a call from my PR firm says that my company had just received an unsolicited take-over bid. As you can imagine we had a firestorm of activity and communications work that have to be done with industry and financial analyst, customers and partners. Since, I run the outbound marketing group; needless to say, I had to make a change of plans and go to work instead. I called the Dr.’s office thinking my surgery date would get pushed out; fortunately they moved my pre-op day to May 5th, the day before my surgery. Today is a great example of learning to roll with the punches and taking life on its own terms. You never really know when life will change direction on you. Regardless of whether this acquisition deal goes down or not is not really material. What is amazing is how many meetings and actions seemed vital last night, got dismissed as irrelevant today. I think this is a great perspective check. You have to ask yourself what is really important and how is just activity to fill the void.

April 21, 2009

3

Perspective is a Wonderful Thing. Help Yourself to Some?

As a write this my son (Navy), my brother-in-law (Army) and nephew (Navy)…two of whom are in Iraq and Afghanistan serve with the global forces deployed in harms way. I cannot really imagine what their days are like…and I have a very vivid imagination. My brother-in-law is due to come home after a second tour shortly, assuming they don’t decide to keep him longer again…which they have done twice. As I was annoyed that I am having some post-op nausea and gas, I thought about what their days must be like in some of the most difficult places in the world. Needless to say, I was a bit ashamed of myself. However, I must say thank god for sugar free Jell-O…but I digress. The band if tough there is not free ride, but our time in bandster hell is a pittance compared to what our forces across the world face, or the horror going on in Hatti today. As I thought about this, I hope we can all keep some perspective on what is going on across the world, not just our individual part of it. Sometimes folks find despair in the limits of their success with the band, but it is not the only important thing in life or the world. I am not saying we should not vent and look for help and support from the folks here on the LBT forums. Just remember that our struggles with the band, plateaus in weight loss and side effects are real problems, but they are eminently solvable, by just little-old-us. Many of our family and friends are fighting bigger fights, and solving bigger problems. If you and I focus on that then we can make the band work and understand that perspective is as wonderful a tool for our problems and the band is for waistlines. So perspective is free, and can be customized by everyone as a vital resource in the band journey…so help yourself to all you want.

January 31, 2010

2

Lead Me Not Into Temptatoin

Back to work on Monday and had to face the first lunch on the liquid diet. I took my Slim-Fast with me to Red Robin and ordered an Iced Tea to drink. It was odd, since everyone felt the need to feed me, when I was fixed on having just my protein drink. I got through one of the first hurdles, on dealing with public eating. Just a short post for today.

March 30, 2009

3

The Optics of Obesity and Food Porn on TV

So…day three of the liquid fast and I am doing well. However, it has been said that perspective is a wonderful thing…it can help you see new options and often reveal things to which you have become immune. For me the new revelation is how much food is advertised on TV. Like most of us here, I would go on diets and minimize some foods, but never really thought of them as off-limits, just delayed. I returned home from the gym last night, sat in my favorite chair, cracked open a Slim-fast and prepared to watch some TV. Then the parade of food porn began, minus the bad Jacuzzi jazz, first it was Chili’s, then Applebee’s, then Outback Steak House, then Taco Bell (I don’t like them, but still food), then Pizza Hut and it just kept going. I couldn’t take it…I had to stop watching. I looked at my wife and said I have to go read a book, I was optically over stimulated. I was not hungry, but marketing weasels did a good job and I wanted to eat. I removed myself from the TV and went to another room. After I downed my Slim-fast and read for awhile and I stopped thinking about food. Going forward, Tivo will be my new best friend so I can fast forward through those commercials in the future. It was a great opportunity to learn more about how my brain works, how effective the marketing weasels can be and how to manage the urges of my gluttonous past.

March 31, 2009

2

A Blog?About Nothing

Jerry Seinfeld was quoted as saying that “Seinfeld” was a show about nothing…as it turns out so is this blog…here is a random potpourri trivial items from my week. Once a quarter we have our sales force in for training, account reviews and our quarterly executive business reviews. It is a complete blitzkrieg all week long, of never ending string of meetings and creating PowerPoint for meetings, hence, my lack of blogs this week. I did get stuck having to eat a meal during the day vs. my protein drink…my reflexes got the better of me. My boss asked me to go to lunch and I was out the door before I grabbed a SlimFast. I had a bowl of turkey chili, so I did not fall to far off the wagon. I was so beat when I left yesterday I had to take one of those “5 hour” energy shots to drive home. My commute is over a very twisting section of road (Highway 74, the Ortega Highway, that links Orange and Riverside counties in CA.) and you don’t want to be sleepy when you drive over it. I had been looking for a caffeine fix since I can’t drink zero carb RockStar anymore…and I don’t like coffee...these handy 2 oz. shots of have become my new pick-me-up. The good news is I did managed to get to the gym Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but Thursday and Friday did not happen. It is also good to report that, I got to sleep in this morning, do my weekly weigh in (dropped 5 pounds), went to the gym and then to the movies. We went to see “State of Play” with Russell Crow…Good Flick. Tomorrow, my son and I are off to see the finals of the Formula D team drift competition in Long Beach. Lots of horsepower, car show models and smoking rubber…it should be fun…http://www.formulad.com/. So much for my random musings…have a good week end folks.

April 18, 2009

1

I Have Met The Enemy and...

I am off for a short trip to San Francisco. As I was driving to the airport, I was thinking to myself...ok I can stop by the Admirals Club, they have great chocolate chip cookies, have nice snack...get some email done... Oh Shit my mind is screwing with me again, DAMN! As my rational side took over again, I thought to myself, this is the real battle of the Lapband. We all know mind-hunger is the great trickster. Why is our own mind our greatest enemy? I now find myself moving beyond rationalization to confrontation. Before deciding on the Lapband my mental efforts were focused on justifying why my food consumption was OK...it was not that bad...I can make up for it by eating better tomorrow...I had a really stressful day...it is not fair that I am fat and others who eat the same or more are skinny...and the list can go on. Now, I find myself in mortal combat with my own mental demons, saying...ok you bastards stop trying to trick me into bad choices...who's side are you on anyway...I will not listen to the voices in my head...not this time, byte me, you SOB. (I cleaned up the language to protect the innocent, my internal discussion really sound like a George Carlin on one of his more colorful rants.) The few people I have told about the Lapband have asked me why I think it will work, or why this diet will be different (I know it is not a diet, but I just smile and move on), I do believe it is the mental shift from justification to confrontation that is my secret weapon. Because, in the end it is our ability to manage choices, change innate and ingrained behaviors that will enable our success with the band. It is also why I was not really upset about my banding date being pushed out. I have begun to view this battle like a great game of chess, if you are not thinking 3-5 moves ahead, you will lose. Bobby Fischer was famous for sacrificing his queen, and other odd behaviors, to set up elaborate traps for his opponents. I find myself thinking, or at least trying to think like Bobby Fischer, trying to anticipate how my demented mind will use seductive traps next, how I can repel those attacks and finally trap those demons into dead end moves. It is a laborious process, but it helps me know the enemy and defeat those demons without defeating myself.

May 8, 2009

1

Through the Looking Glass?My Metal Images

So I work is screwing with me again and I had to cancel my pre-op. I should be able to reschedule and still make June 8th. I am very happy with my pre-op weight loss (43 lbs.), I feel great and being focused on surgery prep has really helped me keep my weight in line. The funny thing is I fell kind of scrawny right now…I know that is not the case…and the picture below validates this. I am sitting on the couch with a guy about my height and about half my weight (I am 330 right now). It is a great trip through the looking glass and how distorted our self image can be, and then become if you have success with the band.

May 26, 2009

2

The Opportunity of Being Delayed, Determined?but not Disappointed

For a variety of work related issues my banding has been moved out about 30 days from May 6th to June 8th. First, I would like to thank folks who have expressed their support. Second, I am somewhat relieved, odd as that might sound. I have been making good progress on losing weight with the pre-op liquids and kind of want to keep it going. I have been able to hit the gym almost every day and figure the better my physical condition before the surgery, the more likely it will be successful and the easier recovery will be. Third, my delay was related to some one time external events that can’t really be controlled. Given some of the horror stories I heard about insurance hassles and lack of family support I have read about, this is a minor compared to other trials. I don’t mean to get all “Tony Robbins” on people, but, determination is at the core of the LB lifestyle change. You have to be determined to make the changes, eat appropriately and exercise…especially exercise. Despite the delay, I look at this as a way to test my determination and resolve before is shelling out $16K. If I can’t handle a 30 day delay, how will I handle a full life time of change? This is a great opportunity prove to myself and those I love, that this is a real change, not a transient trend that goes away at the first obstacle. I am not disappointed, I am actually grateful for the opportunity to keep demonstrating that I can exhibit the properly modified mindset for LapBand success (Yes, I am ignoring the possibility of failure. As they said in Apollo 13…”failure is not an option…”).

May 5, 2009

3

Dear Food, I want a Divorce...

It is not that I don’t love you, but you’re not good for me. As they said in the movie…I just not that into you. I am sure you won’t take this news well and fight the inevitable. Please don’t. We got together when I was young and stupid and did not understand what I was doing to myself. Yes, we will have to see each other on occasion, but I promise it won’t be awkward. We will have a more business like relationship. I wish you all the best, but it is time for me to move on and correct the mistakes of my youth.

March 28, 2009

1

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