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Blog 61341

A blog by Cingulus

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No 30 Day Chip for Me?Expunging the Guilt

As part of most 12 step programs you get a chip once you have been clean for 30 days. I am not getting a virtual Lapband chip this month. As part of my pre-op diet with the doctor I am supposed to do protein drinks during the day and 6-8 oz of chicken/fish for dinner. I have been following program (15 days down, 15 to go) until tonight. I did not go crazy, I ate to much chicken, some fat free cottage cheese, three scoops of peanut butter and non-fat chocolate frozen yogurt. It was one of the moments of weakness, we have all had. As I sit here I wonder what would have happened if I had had the band already. Without a doubt, my future Lapband would have provided me with a visceral and direct warning of the folly of gluttony. Apparently, I still have lots of work to do. Alas, tomorrow is a new day to make better choices and start working towards that first 30 day chip.

April 13, 2009

2

The Best Scale in the House

One of the most difficult things for me as part of the band was finding the right portion sizes. As a newbie reading about sliming and PBing, it gave me significant reasons to pause and question if the band was the right choice for me. Obviously I got over the concerns and got the band, but in the spirit of optimizing this process, I still wanted to minimize the risk of ever having to go through the sliming experience. Veterans of the band would probably tell me the answer was simple…don’t eat more than your pouch can hold, avoid the major blocking foods, breads, rice and chew thoroughly when you do eat. While this is sound advice and I am doing my best to follow said advice, I needed better tools than my eyeballs and will power. Not to mention, relying on those before are part of what got me into this problem in the first place. To that end, my wife found two outstanding tools that are making banded life manageable. The first has been the Escali P115C food scale. This little device has stopped me from adding extra food and takes the guess work out of most meals. The second item is 8oz cups with lids like you find at the delicatessen. They also help me regulate food at restaurants. I bring an empty cup with me, order what I think I want, cut it up and only eat what fits in the cup. Yes, it is a little odd, but after spending this much money, going through the pre and post op issues, I want to optimize the process. I know this may sound a bit OCD, but it has worked. I like my body weight scale when it moves, but I love this one every day.

March 7, 2010

2

The Optics of Obesity and Food Porn on TV

So…day three of the liquid fast and I am doing well. However, it has been said that perspective is a wonderful thing…it can help you see new options and often reveal things to which you have become immune. For me the new revelation is how much food is advertised on TV. Like most of us here, I would go on diets and minimize some foods, but never really thought of them as off-limits, just delayed. I returned home from the gym last night, sat in my favorite chair, cracked open a Slim-fast and prepared to watch some TV. Then the parade of food porn began, minus the bad Jacuzzi jazz, first it was Chili’s, then Applebee’s, then Outback Steak House, then Taco Bell (I don’t like them, but still food), then Pizza Hut and it just kept going. I couldn’t take it…I had to stop watching. I looked at my wife and said I have to go read a book, I was optically over stimulated. I was not hungry, but marketing weasels did a good job and I wanted to eat. I removed myself from the TV and went to another room. After I downed my Slim-fast and read for awhile and I stopped thinking about food. Going forward, Tivo will be my new best friend so I can fast forward through those commercials in the future. It was a great opportunity to learn more about how my brain works, how effective the marketing weasels can be and how to manage the urges of my gluttonous past.

March 31, 2009

2

Slipping into Shoes

One small NSV for me is my feet have shrunk. I bought some new shoes a while back and had to set them aside and buy wider ones because they did not fit well and were too tight. I tried them on for the hell of it yesterday and they fit great and I wore them the whole day with no problems. I never would have never thought of my feet shrinking…probably a guy thing.

March 13, 2010

2

Bloodhound Blues

I was had a great day yesterday work was good, stayed on diet task with drinks, went to the gym. Then I went home and my son was making grilled cheese and chili for dinner. The smell was killing me, so I went up stairs hoping to escape the seductive aromas. That did not work…I could still caught the faint whiff of things tempting me below. I opened the windows and turn on the fan to draw it some fresh air…it still did not work. Finally, I left and went for a drive although I swear I could smell it on my clothes. By this point, I am sure it was sure my imagination was planning games with me, but it was stuck in my head. I remembered a scene from an old CSI where they put Vick’s vaper rub under their nose to get over the smell of decomposing corpses tried it…and it did worked. I am not sure what this means, but I may have to ban cooking the house for a few more weeks.

April 2, 2009

2

Frozen Yogurt?Essential or Evil

I have not seen much posted about non-fat frozen yogurt? Which I must confess, I find somewhat surprising...so it has led me to ask. Is there some inherent evil associated with this diet friendly treat and the Lapband? An inquiring mind wants to know… I am planning on it being part of my post-op repertoire…or so I think? Second, it may just be my imagination, but it seems (no scientific data), that many of the newer banders are struggling with post-op weight gain and slow starts. While a few fortunate souls are making rapid progress, again the individual variable strikes…no two banders are the same. No real point to make…just an observation. Other than that it was a good gym day and we went to the Long Beach Grand Prix and got to meet Danica Patrick. Yes, she is as adorable in person. I am sorry to report, that they had the good corners of the drifting competition reserved for the VIP seats. The events held at Irwindale Speedway are much better, the venue is easier to get to and the layout is more crowd friendly. I everyone had a good weekend.

April 19, 2009

2

Give me the Juice Baby?Seeking the Right Energy Drink Replacement

OK…let me dispense with the rationalization. I understand the many pros, cons, limitation and issues with caffeine. I am will to submit to vast majority of good ole’ common sense items with being banded, but I want my caffeine fix…I don’t drink coffee, tea lacks the punch and banders can’t really deal with carbonation which kills Red Bull, RockStar and almost all the other energy drinks. So how to get my legal dose a speed when required. I have started using 5 hour energy shots and they seem to fill the gap, non carbonated, only 4 calories and plenty of kick. The site below review over 300 energy drinks :tounge_smile: http://energy-drink-ratings.blogspot.com/2008/03/extra-strength-5-hour-energy-drink.html Any other thoughts out there on band friendly energy products…that will not land me in a Turkish prison.

April 20, 2009

2

Burning the Ships for a New World?Saying Goodbye to the Big Clothes

Like Cortez who burned his ships upon reaching the new world, today I clean out the closet of my fattest clothes. I had shirts in 3X and 4X, pants in 56, 54, 52, 50 and 48 waist sizes and suit coats in 60, 58 & 56. I did a quick calc and my best guess is that this represents at least $20K in clothing purchases. With the exception of my biggest suit, more on this later, I am sending this all to Goodwill this week. I have read a few threads about people having a tough time letting go of their old clothes for fear that they would need them someday. I am determined not to go back to the old world and ways so the ships must be burned. I also replied to another thread this week about what was the breaking point moment for deciding to get the lapband…for me that was when I bought the suit referenced above. It was February of 2009. My company was holding an investor and industry analyst event in the Board Room of the New York Stock Exchange. Needless to say, I felt that a New York class suit, was required for a Wall Street New York event. I wandered down to Rochester’s Big & Tall to buy a new suit and the old sizes did not fit, I had to get a size 60 coat. This, by the way, is the biggest suit they carry. When you have almost outgrown the fattest suit at the fat store it is time to do something. Hence the lapband, it did take me almost a year to get it done, but that is history for another blog. As we enter a new world, I have burned the clothing ship to my past and it is time to explore the new world. So we stuffed the fat clothes into plastic bags and they are in the garage waiting for a new home.

March 13, 2010

2

I Bet $16,000 on 30...

So the number 30 is looming large in my mind today: • 30 Bites – Chew, Baby Chew…this is going to be one of the biggest items for me. I am sure if I don’t , the Lapband will let me know. I just worry about forgetting to eat slow and swallowing to soon. • 30 Sets –of weights for my muscle workout days across 3 body parts per/day. Gotta, keep up the Vin Diesel look. :wub: • 30 Minutes – or more of cardio everyday seems to be the biggest key to success factor after eating right. Based on what I have read, this is seems to be what separates those who succeed with the Lapband from those who struggle. • 30 Hours – to get the surgery done, get some sleep and start recovery. Walking, stationary bike and good broth. I can’t wait… • 30 Days - until my surgery occurs, I have been making good progress on dropping the required twenty pounds for my banding. All I can say is…Shrink Liver…Shrink Damn YOU! • 30 Weeks – Needed to drop 100 pounds and reach my first major goal of returning to my MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) fighting weight 271 Lbs, then another 30 weeks to reach my second goal of 197lbs my wrestling weight. • 30 Years – Time to make up for 30 years of eating sins, caloric substance abuse and psychological games. I was 15 the last time I had my weight where I wanted it. 30 is my new favorite number…I think it is time to go to Vegas and find a roulette wheel.

April 7, 2009

2

Eat This, Not That?

Now that I can start to eat again, one of the biggest challenges is eating out or getting out and finding yourself getting hungry. I think the best tool I have found is an iphone app from Men’s Health called Eat This, Not That $4.99. The key thing I like it is provides an encyclopedia of hundreds of restaurants and thousands of grocery store items. It will allow you to look up a specific eatery and it will show you the best food items on the menu. It will also allow you to select multiple food items and compare them. It provides not only protein/carbs and fats but sodium and other key food composition tid bits. I have also found that almost every place has a grilled chicken sandwich, sans bread that can work for a good protein meal. The really cool part is you can enter the food you want and it will then suggest a lower calorie and fat option. This might change where you go to dinner, but it will help keep you on track without making huge sacrifices to taste. Online it has gotten some harsh reviews because the books can be more complete, but it really works for me.

February 15, 2010

2

Perspective is a Wonderful Thing. Help Yourself to Some?

As a write this my son (Navy), my brother-in-law (Army) and nephew (Navy)…two of whom are in Iraq and Afghanistan serve with the global forces deployed in harms way. I cannot really imagine what their days are like…and I have a very vivid imagination. My brother-in-law is due to come home after a second tour shortly, assuming they don’t decide to keep him longer again…which they have done twice. As I was annoyed that I am having some post-op nausea and gas, I thought about what their days must be like in some of the most difficult places in the world. Needless to say, I was a bit ashamed of myself. However, I must say thank god for sugar free Jell-O…but I digress. The band if tough there is not free ride, but our time in bandster hell is a pittance compared to what our forces across the world face, or the horror going on in Hatti today. As I thought about this, I hope we can all keep some perspective on what is going on across the world, not just our individual part of it. Sometimes folks find despair in the limits of their success with the band, but it is not the only important thing in life or the world. I am not saying we should not vent and look for help and support from the folks here on the LBT forums. Just remember that our struggles with the band, plateaus in weight loss and side effects are real problems, but they are eminently solvable, by just little-old-us. Many of our family and friends are fighting bigger fights, and solving bigger problems. If you and I focus on that then we can make the band work and understand that perspective is as wonderful a tool for our problems and the band is for waistlines. So perspective is free, and can be customized by everyone as a vital resource in the band journey…so help yourself to all you want.

January 31, 2010

2

Through the Looking Glass?My Metal Images

So I work is screwing with me again and I had to cancel my pre-op. I should be able to reschedule and still make June 8th. I am very happy with my pre-op weight loss (43 lbs.), I feel great and being focused on surgery prep has really helped me keep my weight in line. The funny thing is I fell kind of scrawny right now…I know that is not the case…and the picture below validates this. I am sitting on the couch with a guy about my height and about half my weight (I am 330 right now). It is a great trip through the looking glass and how distorted our self image can be, and then become if you have success with the band.

May 26, 2009

2

What Bob Marley taught me about the LapBand

I was listening to Bob at the gym last night and as I felt the ocean breeze cover my mind. I found his music talking to me and here is what it said to me: 1. Jamming – Just keep jamming at any goal, it is hill that is climbed one step at a time. 2. Waiting in Vain – Waiting for some else to fix things is a vain hope. Lab bands give us a plan. 3. Get Up, Stand Up – Getting up, standing up and not giving up the fight is the only way to do this. 4. Satisfy my Soul – I need this to satisfy my soul and move forward in life. 5. I Shot the Sherriff – I going to shoot my old self and release myself from jail. 6. Redemption Songs – I am looking for redemption from my body for years of abuse, knees please forgive me. What Bob Marley songs speak to you?

April 10, 2009

2

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Bear?

So I will warn the ladies this is guys blog…I came across a real unexpected side effect of the LB surgery…the hair grows back. I can hear the collective “EEEEEWWWWWHHHH!” from the ladies, but I am hairy like a Wookie. Chewbacca could be my long lost brother. I new they would have to shave me for the operation, but it forgot how much it would itch growing back and the damn stuff is poking through the clear bandages like grass growing through concrete. Of course I can’t itch it very much and it is driving me crazy. I am sure my wife, who read these blogs as well, will be laughing and telling me this is what my beard feels like when it is cut to short and it is rubbed against her. So how does a bear itch in the woods…very carefully …with a fine grain emery board. Yes, this proven manicurist tool is the right tool for the job. It provides relief and does not seem to affect the bandage device. Bowling for Soup has a great line in one of their new songs. “Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear/Fuzzy Wuzzy had to much hair/so Fuzzy wasn’t fuzzy…was he?”

February 3, 2010

2

My Menu Blog

Menu Blog I do push the limits of the food budget 1300-1500 calories per day vs. the typical 800-1200 quoted by most doctors. I do this for 4 reasons: 1) I think that they (the doctors) under estimate the amount of protein people need. The higher I keep my protein the better weight comes off. 2) I lift weights and feel I need the extra protein 3) I want to keep my metabolism in as high a gear as I can 4) based on my target weight 190 lbs. I won’t have to make many changes when I get there. Key for my Menu First, one of my key tools is Vitol Egg protein powder. Second is packing all my meal in 8oz plastic containers so I don’t have to guess. Third, we make most of the items below in a big batch on Sunday and uses them during the week. Fourth, sometimes you have to eat out, when I do I stick to fish or soups/stews they are easier to digest. Fifth, I avoid directly adding carbs because they make my hungry between meals. Breakfast (5 am) Option 1: 1 whole egg and 3 egg whites, 1oz low fat cheese and sliced peppers and mushrooms Option 2: 1 Cup Oatmeal with Vitol Egg powder 2 Tablespoons (adds 24Grams of Protein) Option 3: 1Cup fat free yogurt with Vitol Egg powder 2 Tablespoons (adds 24Grams of Protein) Mid-Morning (9 am) Option 1: 1Cup fat free yogurt with Vitol Egg powder 2 Tablespoons (adds 24Grams of Protein) Option 2: 8oz Diced Chicken Salad Option 3: 2 String cheese and 1oz. Almonds Option 4: MuscleMilk Protein Shake Lunch (Noon) Option 1: 1 cup Turkey Chili with 1 oz of Cheese Option 2: 1 cup fat free fried beans with diced, onions, peppers and salsa Option 3: 8oz Diced Chicken or Tuna Salad Pre Work Out Meal Late Afternoon (4 pm) Supplements – Nitric Oxide Drink with Creatine, Gummy Vitamins, Gummy Omegas Option 1: ½ Cup fat free yogurt with Vitol Egg powder 2 Tablespoons (adds 24Grams of Protein) Option 2: 4oz Diced Chicken Salad Option 3: 1 String cheese and 1oz. Almonds Option 4: MuscleMilk Protein Shake Post Work Out Dinner Option 1: 6 oz Ahi Tuna Steak in olive oil and lemon pepper Option 2: 1 cup chipotle chicken crock pot stew with carrots, onion, mushrooms, peppers Option 3: 8oz Chicken Brest Happy Eating

March 5, 2010

2

The Day after Making the Right Choice

So I was driving to the gym last night, fighting my mental battle between I had done enough exercise this week and keeping to the rules of 30 minutes every day. Despite trying to rationalize my way out of going to the gym, I grudgingly kept moving towards the gym. It was not a bad workout, and I got through it. It was one of the many thousands of “right choices” that have to be made to be successful with the Lapband journey successful. I was able to weight in this week with a nice weight loss and it should be enough to meet my pre-op requirement. It was one of those proof-points that illustrates if you can make the right choices you can get the right results. I know there is very long road ahead, but this is one of the little victories that help fire the motivation along the way.

April 11, 2009

2

As they said in the Blues Brothers..."Were on a Mission..."

Elwood: It’s a 106 miles to Chicago…We have half a tank of gas…It’s dark and we are where sun glasses… Jake: Hit it. Just got back from the doctors and after a few hours of forms, rapid fire questions, poking, prodding and credit card charges we are moving forward. I weighted it at 373 lbs. with a 56.8 BMI and lean body mass of 206 lbs. This gives me a target weight of 240 based on a 20 BMI. So next steps are: 1. Read the patients manual 2. EKG and blood work the week of March 30, 2009 3. Lose 20 Lbs before the surgery date 4. Pre-op meetings and registration on April 21st 5. Surgery Date May 6th The shrink questions were a predictable combination of pabulum, inane drivel and obvious traps. I am not, really, sure what they were looking for in this process. All of that aside, I liked the Doc and we are on track to complete the mission. He suggested starting a pre-liquid diet for the next few weeks on protein drinks for breakfast and lunch with small dinner of protein and a salad. Then move to the full liquid diet two weeks in advance. I was surprised to find out one of the key reasons for the liquid diet before the surgery was to shrink the liver, which provides more working room during the surgery itself. So, tomorrow is the beginning of my mission to hit the target weight of 240 lbs.

March 28, 2009

1

Dear Food, I want a Divorce...

It is not that I don’t love you, but you’re not good for me. As they said in the movie…I just not that into you. I am sure you won’t take this news well and fight the inevitable. Please don’t. We got together when I was young and stupid and did not understand what I was doing to myself. Yes, we will have to see each other on occasion, but I promise it won’t be awkward. We will have a more business like relationship. I wish you all the best, but it is time for me to move on and correct the mistakes of my youth.

March 28, 2009

1

Drinking?Not the Hooch?Real Water

One thing I still have not completely mastered is not drinking during meals. I don’t guzzle stuff, but I do still drink a bit after I am done. Even if it is soup or stew or chili, typically it is water or iced tea. I just feel the need to have few decent sips of something to drink. Since I have not reached full restriction I have been able to get away with it, but I am sure it will catch up to me. Like most of the rules or guidelines related to the band I understand the reasons and implications. I will continue to work on this challenge.

March 8, 2010

1

A Red Sox Fan is excited about Yankee Stadium?

So every job has its pros and cons. One of the pros of my job is we hold customer events as some cool locations. Although I am a lifelong Red Sox fan, I am on my way to the New Yankee stadium. We are holding a one day customer conference and then taking in a game. No not the Sox :w00t:. I have been fortunate to spend 3-4 weeks are traveling in the city for various tradeshows and events. It has also let me sample some of the best restaurants in the city. However, I am I thinking about the powdered protein drinks (Labrada, Chocolate Ice Cream Flavor…Yes, they are good) I have in my suit case. I need to land soon and get a drink in me so I don’t get to hungry. My first weight in was March 27th and I was 373. Due to my extended delays (I have had to move my surgery date from May 6th to June 8th and now June 29th). I have had an extended period of pre-op dieting. I have been able to reduce my weight by48 lbs to 325. I feel good with the progress, but I am not satisfied. I have another 128 to go. As I fly towards my date with the “Bronx Bombers” I am conjuring images of how I want things to be next summer when I go to the ball park. I want to be one of the guys at the ball park with my shirt off, soaking up the sun (with a good SPF 30). Like many people here I have been that guy/girl to be comfortable with skin exposed in a public setting. Most who have read my blogs and looked at my pictures know I am not a shy or retiring person. I have always done what I wanted regardless of my size, but I want to get to the point I do it because of my weight. I look forward to seeing you all at the ballpark next year showing some skin and being proud of whom you are and what you have accomplished.

June 2, 2009

1

48 Hours to Go?Oh, and I liked Wolverine too?

I am a little over 48 hours away from getting the band. I am intellectually resolved to this course of action, but I am amazed at how difficult ignoring all of the other emotional issues continues to be. Every time I read the new postings, there is a sea of conflicting experiences that assaults your mind and emotions. In no way do I begrudge others posting, venting and seeking help for issues, many of which I may also post and seek help for myself, but it does require work and some conviction to wade through these posts to derive a clear picture of the trade-offs, filter the fears, and sift out the relevant data. (this comment will probably get me some flame mail, but it has been one to the challenges in making a final decision) For me, losing the first fifty pounds has always been relatively easy, part of being a guy I guess. The next 100+ lbs, are the real challenge and the reason that I am getting the band. Since I started the liquid pre-op diet I am down about 40 pounds, which feels great, but it is a can cause significant delusions about not needing the surgery. However, this week provided me with some ample examples as to why I need to proceed. Starting with my trip to Europe last week, 12 hours is a coach seat is an excellent reminder. Second, I took my “official” pre-ops pictures today, which is another telling data point that I still need the surgery. I took the pictures, with and without shirt (I will spare you the Chewbacca shots) and it was a good motivator as to why I am doing this. Like many here, I will do a new set every 30 days to track and log the progress. My company is going through a major event, an attempted hostile take over, and I almost put off the surgery planned for this week. In the end, my wife pointed out that there will always be something at work that is important and every time I put off personal items for work, in the end, it does not really matter. So I will move forward and begin my new life. Oh, by the way…I liked the new Wolverine movie. My wife wants a few hours alone with Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds.

May 3, 2009

1

Picking Your Moments for LapBand Success

One of my favorite book series is from a husband and wife team, David and Leigh Eddings. There are 12 books in the series and throughout these books there a two “primal forces” in their universe that meet for battles and events. Often in these books the battles are very small, at other times these are cataclysmic, however in every one of these events the winners is ultimately decided by an individual choice between stasis and progress. A single person has to decide the fate of the universe. To me, in many ways this defines the lapband process. Every day we are faced with moments of choice and if we choose properly we win the battle…but it is a new fight every day if you want to avoid stasis and make progress. Since I am an engineer who became marketing guy and that means for every problem I like to build a checklist of how to solve it and turn it into a visual diagram with simple steps so it is easy for people use and implement. I spend most of my days doing this for technology products and I was thinking about how to apply this to the lapband last night while I was on the elliptical machine. What are the key moments and choices for each day’s battle? I am sure the list will vary for most, but here are my moments for lapband success: 1. Choosing a High Protein Breakfast with supplements 2. Packing a good set of 8oz meals for the day before I leave for work 3. Eating the right midmorning meal, I brought to work 4. Choosing a High Protein Lunch 5. Eating the right late afternoon meal with pre-work out supplements (NO-Xplode) 6. Stopping at the gym everyday 7. Going into the Gym working hard 8. Drink a good high protein, low carb post work supplement drink (ISOPure Low carb…) 9. Choosing a High Protein Dinner These nine moments are like the recurring battles between those”primal forces“in the Eddings books. They only require an instant of choice, but they make the difference between stasis…or progress.

March 10, 2010

1

2nd Fill Tomorrow?Finding ?The Green Zone??

“The Green Zone,” Matt Damon’s new movie opens tomorrow. Not a big surprise…it is about the green zone in Iraq and our intrepid hero is entering the fray to unlock CIA conspiracy, kick some ass and otherwise fight the good fight…did Jason Bourne ever go to Iraq? Anyway, I will be taking in the movie over the weekend. However, the green zone that I am really interested in is the lap band green zone. Tomorrow is the day for my second fill. I sit at 5.5 ccs and I would guess that I will go to 7 ccs. According to my doctor, in the green zone I should be able to eat 3 meals per day and not be noticeably hungry between meals. Based on that definition, I am not in the green zone. I would have to say I am in the yellow zone. For the past 4 weeks, I have been eating solid 8oz meals every 3-4 hours and I do get hungry. It is livable and manageable, but nowhere new the promise of lap band restriction. Conventional wisdom, with the band, seems to be 2-4 fills before folks who find restriction, achieve it. Hopefully, Friday will be a landmark day in the band process and on Saturday I will visit both, “The Green Zones,” the movie and lap band restriction.

March 11, 2010

1

Negotiations and Love Songs

Paul Simon’s, aptly names anthology of solo hits is called “Negotiations and Love Songs.” He does a great job of capturing the often bizarre and illogical discussions and negotiations we have with ourselves. I think he has done a better job than most in capturing the 5 Stages of the Mourning (Denial, Sadness, Anger, Bargaining, and Acceptance). Well…last night I found myself locked in a mortal battle of wills with Denial. Obviously, I have spent years denying that I had a real problem and that I could overcome it with “will power” or the other great line “…I’ll just stop eating…” I have a friend, that is a recovered alcoholic, and he always said giving up booze was easier than food. Because, you CAN just stop drinking, stopping food eventually kills you… he always said that recovery rate would be zero, if every AA member had to take three shots a day, but was still required to stop all other drinking. So how did Denial sink it’s claws into me? I have been doing much better than I thought I would with the liquid diet, and the Queen of Denial was whispering to me last night…If you have done this good so far, just keep it up, skip the surgery and save the money…maybe your will power will hold out this time…ARRRRGGHHH. Denial is one seductive bitch! So how do you combat Denial? I use the mirror test. I taped a picture of me from high school/college times (about 190LBS), and one of a friend of mine who has the look I want when I get to the other side, then I stand naked in front of the mirror and ask myself do I look like the picture? Obviously the answer is No. Denial, I abjure you, I reject you and I will overcome you. The sweet siren song of Denial will not lead me to the rocky shores to find myself, again wrecked and wondering how it all went wrong. I know the Lapband is only a tool, but, it is also a weapon in a lifelong battle that I will win this time.

April 1, 2009

1

First Fill Freedom

I have been anxiously waiting for my first fill, which I got today. I went from 3.5 CCs to 5.5 CCs. We will see how that feels. I am glad to report the first fill was simple and uneventful. However, the real reason I am excited is I been cleared to start lifting weights and pushing the exercise limits beyond the elliptical or stationary bike. I know the 4-6 weeks after surgery is the norm, 4 weeks in my case, but I really feel like I have been missing something in band journey without the ability to really rev up the exercise. Needless to say I am thrilled. So tonight I feel like I can finally begin the real fight to slay the weight dragon and drive towards my goals weight and clothes sizes. Attached is my work out plan for any who are curious, I also plan to drop in 2 spin classes a week as a cardio option.

February 26, 2010

1

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