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A blog by Hotenuf2

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Crushing meds--GAG!! Question for ya'll

Ok so my last fill,,,unfill...has left me with needing to crush all my pills. After almost a year of getting away with just cutting them in half. Barfing them is NOT an option! ugh. So I crushed them...and used cookies and cream ice cream to get them down. just 4 spoonfuls, But I am looking for a better way to then get the powder down. A few taste SO bad...I had to chase the ice cream with water to even get that to slide down. So please share with me what you guys do to take your pills easier. Eww..but let me add...after my un-fill...I feel so much better and am down to 219!! HOLY COW~!! IT is amazing!

November 24, 2010

5

I am a mess-unfill here I come. :(

SO my fill is WAY too tight. I thought I could work it and give it time to stretch...but looks as if barfing in your sleep is not normal--who knew?? (sarcastic) I hate to do it. Because I think damn now I am going to have to work hard to lose....silly huh? I am...because my brain still works the same way...thinks the same way about food. BUT I can't be barfing up my half digested meds, and burning my throat and feeling this bad. THIS is not the way I want to do it! I will try to come back on and let you all know how the un-fill went. One door closes, another opens---boy I hope so!

November 16, 2010

4

Mid-November

I should just schedule writing to my blog every 3 months at this rate. Geesh! Ok so lets see...I had another fill last week, and am SNUG!! but I am working with it. I fought myself , did I want one before the Holidays, going home to good ole home-cooking. But I decided--DUH!! that is my mental problem!! The last 20 yrs of my life thinking about eating all wrong. lol So I explained to my Dr. who is cautious with fills at this time of year....for this exact reason, but he agreed I was thinking right for me. For now. I told myself, I can still eat ANYTHING I want, just less, and isn't that the point of WHY I did this?? yes! Yes is my answer. If I continue to do what I did, I will continue to be what I was. I am hoping for some relaxation on the band, but it has only been a few days. So I have faith. I have actually been using the elliptical, OMG who knew I was so out of shape. Man was I in DENIAL! ha ha. let me just share, I started doing 1:10 on it..that is minutes folks! ha ha.. I eventually worked to 5 minutes in a row! So proud. Then had a set back got sick, then bruised/cracked a rib (proving being thinner isn't always good! :bored:). Which let me tell you is the most painful thing next to a ruptured disc I have felt, plus it takes so long to heal. I ordered a weighted hula hoop...came the day after the 'rib incident'. And I dont know about you guys but if there is a reason to put off excersize it seems to multiply in spades for me. I hate it! Hate to do it, hate to think about it...Even when it is fun. Ok..so I ended up with only a 2 lb loss before this last fill..I had lost 12...but two weeks before the fill, I got so hungry and just ate, and ate, and not good stuff. I couldnt keep down my protien but I sure could keep down crackers and chips. So gained the 10 back and fast. Now 5 days after this fill, lost 8 of those...but I am half miserable waiting for that stretch to come...jsut a little. I am also focusing on that protein! Trying my best to go for those first. I keep saying even if I stay right here, at 220 (from 286) I am SO happy...I feel SO much better health wise (rib excluded). Not thrilled with the naked me...but hey...it will get there, or it will get fixed! ha ha. I hope you are all doing well! Enjoying the journey.

November 15, 2010

0

September already?

I swear I meant to keep up with this but I guess Life has called. So had an appt today with my Dr. Lost another 10lbs in the last month. This fill has been tough but I am going to suck it up! I know it will stretch a bit, I have good and bad days, mostly cause I eat too fast I guess. Crazy ups n downs. But hey now at 232...down from 286...I will deal with it!! Last week I bought full price jeans from LB, been wearing my 22's and 20's just trying to put off buying something...$75 later.. UGH...today...they were too big! OMG!! Last night, I switch laundry, My daughters jeans come out and I think hmmmmm...what the heck..on they went...ALL THE WAY--ZIPPED!! I had on 15/16 skinny jeans! WTH?? I came flying in and showed off to the other daughter! AND TODAY... I PURCHASED my very own size 15 JUNIORS jeans! $10 at Ross. HOLY CRAP!! I haven't been this size since my Freshman year (maybe) in 80---something! :wink: wink wink. I am in shock to tell you the truth, disbelief, dumbfounded. WOW. It is sureal. I am happy...HAPPY! I feel SO much better--physically that in itself is worth it. But to have the icing on the cake as it were is awesome! OMG I hope each one of you have this feeling someday soon.

September 10, 2010

5

June Already??

Time flies! So, let's see, I lost 1.7lbs this last month...yep was goofin off with food. Just making bad choices too many times. I am back on track a bit now...after another fill...they gave me 1cc...so now I have 4cc (what they put in anyway). I tell you at first I thought UH-OH...there is no way I can sustain this restriction, it was SO tight I had to barf a lot...I kept liquid down in small sips, with lots of gurgling. lol very uncomfortable. 2 full days of that. Then woke up this morning, and could eat, YEAH!! Of course, much smaller amounts! which is awesome, but those head games are still right there. I do feel like I SEE them much clearer and faster now. So that makes me happy. I try my best not to kick myself for being on the learning end of this tool. But some things are really engrained in my head! Hope you all are well, and having great success! I am going to try to update my pics soon. I actually have ONE the I see the progress, and that is huge for me. Pardon the pun! ha ha.

June 6, 2010

0

This last fills thoughts

SO I know get that every fill is different. I wsa good with the 2...3...was a whole new learning curve! Totally changed what I could eat--for the gooD...save me from myself! lol I am very pleased with it, I am hoping for one more light one I think, and I will be rockin n rolling along. Funny how we tell ourselves SLOW N STEADY...until that first 20lbs...and downsizing in clothes and then it is like MORE MORE MORE!! lol Gone again

May 29, 2010

0

Busy month!

So what has been going on? I have been very busy, with all this new energy. I am down to 239 by my PCMs scale and look forward to the Official scale at the LB Dr office. This last fill was a new learning experience. For the better, it really cut me off where I needed it. I had a lot more barfing but all because I didn't do my part, chewing small bites...that kind of thing. Other than that I feel great! I started working out, The Crunch Dance, and a few others I like....and going to borrow an elliptical from a friend. My inner thighs are just aweful, at least while fat they were solid...now just dripping puddles of chub hanging down--not liking it AT ALL!! So all bets are on the Elliptical! I fit into the CUTEST Lane Bryant bermudas in an 18 today--only to find they didn't have the style I wanted in 18! ROFL Geesh. Tops are now 18/20's!!! LOVE it. I hope you are ALL doing great out there. I hope to get on and catch up with some of you.

May 29, 2010

0

3 weeks from 1st fill...report :)

Ok So, 3 weeks ago I had my first fill... I have lost 6 more lbs!! FINALLY. lol Years fat, want it gone overnight. ha ha. I am at 243...I dont even remember being this weight. Haven't started working out--been so busy catching up on life I guess. Lots more energy, hardly taking any naps had to take one almost everyday before. I still feel like I EAT too too much, but obviously it is working ok. I am very happy about it. Have not re-visited the medication issue for my pre-surgery issues. But got blood taken today so will know in 2 weeks. I hope you are all well, happy and healthy. Hugs, Baggy pants. :thumbup:

April 8, 2010

1

1st Fill...woohooo

Wow was that EASY! I was nervous as could be. WEnt in and found I had only lost 3lbs in 4 weeks, and I knew I was eating too much, but I ate until I was full....and that was too much. So when I told him I could eat 2 pieces of pizza and that I was HUNGRY he said NO no no,, you need a fill. It was a little prick, hardly any burn they described and it was in and done! I was walking out with NO side effects, and off to start my day. So glad I didn't fret too much over it--you dont either because it was nothing! Ok off I go more in while. I can say have not been HUNGRY today. Ate a shake, and egg drop soup...because I should. :blushing:

March 27, 2010

3

Nothin' much happening

So not too much to report. Which is good and bad. lol No loss, but no gain. No pains. So all in all it is great! I go for my month check up and hopefully a fill this week! I am excited. My 20's are BAGGY,,,,and I am anxious to hit the 18s and maybe 16's. Ok so I am getting ahead of myself a teeny bit. This weekend was big, I decided to sell my motorcycle...I have only ridden a little while, and moved up to a bigger bike way too fast. I LOVE it...but finally figured out that going down is bad enough but having a band, and the tethering port might be a bad bad thing. SO...the dream in my head of my bad-ass self is dashed forever! ha ha. I am a 42 yr old chunky lady who has no business on an 1800cc bike! Time to move on. It is sad. She is gorgeous...but hoping she finds a great home. :mad: THat is it here on the East coast...gorgeous weather happening. Spring is welcomed with open smaller arms! Come on summer!

March 22, 2010

1

almost a month out!

Ok well I have been so busy that I haven't been on. Still hovering at 245...Happy cause I am under 250! LOL BUT, am anxious now that I looked in the mirror...my shelf on my ass is GONE! I knew my pants were baggy, and it wasnt a huge shelf (ha ha--denial is wonderful). But it was starting to get there. NO MORE! smooth round tush! COOL! Less love handles! Now if it would aim for my thighs--though they are the only thing holding my jeans up at this point. Am I picky or what!?? I still have 2 weeks until my appt. I am HOPING for a fill. I feel like I eat way too much to fill up, not as much as I did, and I am definantly eating better--still going very lean on the carbs. No soda--big big thing for me. I can eat ANYTHING I want...that is the cool thing--I have had no problems with any of my faves. Only had one barfing incident and all my fault cause I failed to chew. I do expect that to change with a fill. My one weird thing--My rib cage is tight--and maybe that makes no sense...but feels like someone wrapped me up with a bandage or something. I still get sore sometimes too. Thinking I will go scan some posts and see if that is normal. No pain just snug. lol I am getting myself a Total Gym from our local yardsale sight :tt1: and can't wait. My fav was my Bowflex which really helped my arms n back get stronger even though I was big. However, stopped one day and never went back. What is that about? Ok Well I hope you are ALL doing well, and happy.

March 11, 2010

2

Down another 5lbs! Sweet!!!

SO I went to my 2 week check up and expressed my concerns of moving too fast. He was not concerned since I was doind what I was told...working thru the stages. my incisions were good, and I had no issues other than my worrries which he said not to worry about. So I wait 4 more weeks and see what I lose. I got up this am...and I was at 245!!! It has been 2 yrs at least since I have been under 250. And the thought that late last year I was at 280+ amazes me that it is gone so quickly. I feel great great great. I have had NO food problems. I chew, chew and chew. I have to sip a little liquid now and then but dont full on gulp it. I actually had filet mignon a 1/4 of a baked potato, and some squash, Obviously not the whole peice of meat. It was great, and NO problem getting it in, and keeping it in. CHEW. I ate with my family like a normal person :smile: Only excersize he said was walk 5 minutes a day---I thought Dude I do that 10 times over in a day! I worry I will drop 50 and just stop...but I guess negative 50 is better than gaining any. So just gonna go with the flow. Anyone have an excersize program they like? Curves? or something you do at home??

February 26, 2010

2

Post op check up

Down 32lbs...and I am happy. I felt like I was moving too fast from liquids to food. But I did all the steps and had no problem transitioning to the next food. So it is good. I go back in a month, and we will see what I have lost and then discuss a fill, or not. So glad I did this, No regrets not one. I feel great and am back to my normal schedule. Find I am a little tender when bending right over the port area...but I just adjust so I don't. Hope to come on and read some of your stories to catch up on ya'll. :rolleyes2:

February 25, 2010

1

6 days Post-Op...and am FANTASTIC!

Can I just say I am so thrilled about this. I just can't wait to be healthier. The eating--or lack of is not bad...I did liquids until Monday, then did some mashed taters, and today Thursday, I braved...dun dun DUN...Oatmeal. YUM! I also had a LB Friend take me to GNC and get some real protein powder to just help me thru and see if I like some of it for the future if needed. The 'itty bitty' girl (wink) was SO nice! (trying to lose my skinny girl prejudice) Honestly, I have never been in one that they weren't 'lookin' at me. lol She showed us some new stuff--mentioned a lot of people who had gastric surgeries used (mind you we said nothing about us having had it). So...as much as I hate to admit it--I will go back...and ask questions if I need some help with nutrition supplements, which I understand is inevitable sometimes. SO I have been out--and moving around. Picked up a little around the house. Though yesterday I bent over way to much--learned to maybe not be so eager to clean! ha ha So my next thoughts are moving to clothes--I love clothes, but limited to Lane Bryant I have been sheltered. I am looking now and like WOW...reminding myself I am 42!! not 22. lol Inside I am still about 22. So I have all these bigger clothes, which I will sell on my local yard sale site. But again, I am excited that I will be buying clothes from wherever I want. COOL!!! I need a bigger closet---no house. Ok I am off here. More soon. Too all of you who have commented, I try to comment back! If I failed I am sorry...but friend me, I enjoy the feedback, and can't wait to cheer you on too! :redface:

February 18, 2010

1

February 16th...my new life begins

I am VERY excited. I have been home for 3 days. Surgery was early the 12th. And I feel GREAT!! The pain was never really more than very uncomfortable. The liquid Percocet though bad tasting, I am sure I have paid for worse, did the trick. Only had one incident of nausea, they gave me some meds thru the IV, and it was gone. Have not had that since. I would say muscle soreness is the pain I feel. Pulling from my collar bone down to my incisions. Which are very small...and will heal up nicely--then a cute tattoo to cover them Food...so far I have been on clear liquids. Though Monday I was really hungry. Eat my arm hungry. So I braved some SF Jello. mushed it in my mouth...was fine. I also went back to my EAS Low Carb Protein drink. Cant drink a bunch of it, but sure helps get that edge off. Finally I HAD to have something from the next step... so loose mashed potatoes, not all buttered up..just fairly bland and not thick. They really helped. Ate REALLY slow--this is a challenge. lol I guess I am so used to shovelling in the food. So I do have to think don't rush...don't rush...relax. And a few bites and I have tamed it. So that too is very exciting to me. Let's see what else might you guys want to know. Can't think of anything else...lost 10 more lbs since coming home! Whaaat you say!!?? YES. Crazy! Can't seem to get my darn Ticker to be on here (not real good at this blog thingy) but it makes me 278/266/255 goal...yet to be determined really. Size 10/12 would be good. lol Can I say--NO REGRETS!! NONE NADA ZILTCH! A healthier me is coming. More energy, more umph,fun with the family and fitting in the #%$^ seats on planes and at the movies..oh and at the kids schools! UGH! More soon.

February 16, 2010

4

It is DONE!! yeah!!

Ok this will be quick today. So I had my surgery yesterday morning, everything went great. I feel like I was kicked by a Mule, but over all I feel good. Fluids, not too many, and WALK! The keys for sure. I am home today--Tricare decided they wanted me to stay over night...which worked out great. No stress, pretty quiet and Carteret General and ALL their staff was SUPERB!! Could not have hoped for better care. Ok..more tomorrow. I am off to maybe sleep some more. :confused: Thanks for all the good wishes and Prayers! I appreciate them all!

February 14, 2010

1

Tomorrow! Tomorrow!! wooHOOO!

(doing the running man, and the moonwalk) can ya see me? lol I got my time...630 AM thank God cause I told them, I am NOT a happy hungry person! So waiting all day for it, I would have been sick and mean. :tongue_smilie: not a good way to treat your nurses. So I am ready. Got my kids Valentines cards made, and their gifts ready, just in case I am not all chipper on Saturday. But I think I will be all good. Still not nervous. Dentist is worse for me. MORE this weekend! :w00t:

February 11, 2010

2

5 day count down to a NEW me.

Can I just say most people in my life know I am doing this--for me, it isnt a secret. I would be called out by family who would say "OF course we knew you did something do you think we are stupid!?" So for me no sense in hiding it. That said...every single person except my mom, Dad and Step mom has asked me are you getting nervous? NOPE. I have made it this far, on this diet from hell (snicker) and I have a goal right there in front of me. Nervous not the word for it. As I am counting down...I am thinking, praying "Please God, let this work for me, let me go thru the steps like I have been told, be ready for the ups and downs, but more than anything let me lose weight and be healthier" My original worry years ago when I started this research for myself was the skin! Imagine that...the loose skin fear kept me from doing this years ago. Now, 20lbs heavier my worry was passing out from tying my darn shoes and bumping my head on something hard! lol No longer worrying over the skin (looked up plastic surgeons the day I got approved!) The girls WILL see the sun again! SO upward and onward thru my week, until they come to wheel me off for a little sleep, Theyll poke n prod, inside my gut, in hopes of getting me to a smaller butt! I pray my surgeons hands are steady, because this time I am ready! Lack of sugar has obviously gone to my head! I want to thank you guys who have left me positive uplifting comments! I truely appreciate them. :biggrin:

February 8, 2010

3

I got a DATE!! I GOT A DATE~~

And no not like dinner and show! ha ha. So I checked my approval this am--pending---then 430pm got the call from the surgeon! woohooo So...Feb 12th! That is my new healthy begining. Picture Snoopy doin his dance...that's me!

January 30, 2010

8

Hmm it worked! ha

Ok so quick one today. One week on the pre-op diet, 6 lbs gone. So it does work...lol...I am miserable but working it out Had no clue I was so addicted to those carbs. No approval as of this am...gonna call the Dr office so they can check on it. :thumbup:

January 29, 2010

2

Day 5 no caffiene--no/low carbs--I'm ALIVE!!!

LOL YEs I made it thru the caffiene withdrawal. Hardest thing I have done of late. Will not be going back there. The Carbs...well...doing really well. I am not intentionally doing NO carbs, but I find somedays it is hard to get the right ones in me, but not eating the wrong kind. They said I would lose 5% of my body weight...in 2 weeks...I thought DAMN that is one BIG liver!! ha ha. So that is like 13.5 lbs I need to loose from doing this. Ok ya'll I will be back...trying to keep up. No news from TriCAre yet.

January 26, 2010

2

HOLY COW!!! 2 to 3 WEEKS away!

Ok so as usual I am not a very good 'blogger', however there was a few Holidays in there. So I had my Xray and blood test, early December. My darn authorization had expired the day before! ARGH, nobody knew of course. May have that bill...but that is ok. I went Thursday 1/21/10 to my final review with Dr Bell and in 10 minutes or so I was out the door, and officially on my Pre-Op diet!! Had no clue it would be that fast. All we are waiting for is approval from TriCare. I could have my surgery in 2 weeks..probably more like 3 but WOW!! Figured out that I have a carb addiction-ha ha. Probably the main part of my diet for 40 yrs. So my body is in withdrawal, along with the caffiene. Which will be the hardest for me to give up...already GAVE up as of Thursday. :sad: Cold turkey. SO I am excited, and have been doing really well with low carb, though my body is not happy yet, feel like crap, but the headache is finally going away. So all will be fine. Anxious. Ok well I will let ya'll know when I am scheduled.

January 24, 2010

1

Good news

Well I finally DEALT with the bill..lol...boy I just took a big long break between. But silly me, it was as I hoped that they just hadnt sent it to Tricare! WHEW!! So I am back on track, going to get the blood draw and then set up the finance thing--and surgery. Still hoping AFTER Christmas. lol Oh last hooRah. Actually I just dont want to have to 'explain' to people, I want a year to adjust for myself. By next Christmas it will be old hat. I hope. I really need to come on here more. I forget. lol :smile2:

November 9, 2009

1

World was flat....

and I must have fallen off. Busy life outside of this chaos. So I have recently recieved 2 large bills....not even put in for TriCare consideration. So I have to deal with these before I can go do the last two things, and I have just flaked. But thinking I am ready to get back on this horse, talk with TriCare and see what is what. Then proceed. Life is good, remodeled the bedroom...looks pretty. Kids are busy...driving (help me) and boy friend,,,,ahhhhh. :thumbup:

October 4, 2009

2

Normal day...

So I watched the Emmi thing, shared with a few friends who are 'concerned' that my choice is DRASTIC--no shit! lol My butt is drastically huge, and I cant breathe to tie my shoes dag-gone it! Drastic seems to be what I need! lol But think it will help them with details that may put them at ease a bit. Forgot I had to have a chest xray and blood draw--duh. So will be rolling to do that in a day or so. Then...more waiting. Off to read some success stories on here. Have a great day!

September 17, 2009

1

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