I have been struggling with my weight for years, since I was about 13 it seems like the pounds went on and my self-esteem took a hiatus. I’ve used food for comfort; through difficult times in my life it seems that a large portion was something I could always count on to make me feel better. However after what seemed like an endless sea of failed diets and continuous pounds gained, I am finally ready to lose it all for good. I am looking forward to a better future, a future of finally being free. As many of you may know excess weight can often feel like a prison. I feel as if I’ve tried everything: TV diets, gyms, jenny craig, vegetarianism and even at times not eating at all. At this point, however, it seems like the lap band is my only hope; my final hope. Turning 21 in less than two months I should be at the peak of my life, enjoying every moment. But because of my weight, as well as other non-related health issues I find myself wishing the days would go by quicker and that everyone was blind.
I avoid mirrors, avoid certain stores and truly, I’m missing out on what really is the bigger picture. I’m tired of beginning sentences with “I wish.” “I wish I could fit into that gorgeous dress.” “I wish he thought I was gorgeous.” And the ever famous, “I wish I had her body,” I’m sick of it all truly. It’s hard to be so young and weigh this much, feeling this way doesn’t exactly help things either. As I look at my outside self questions like “How did I let it get this bad?” arise. A few months ago, just when I thought I’d forever be conditioned to being a plus-size girl, suddenly came about a solution. The lap-band. So with the support of friends, family and I feel in many ways, God, I head into the next stage of my life. To start a new and become everything I can be. So on March 24th I feel as if I am getting a second chance. But not just a second chance to be thin and healthy, truly; a second chance at life.
