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Fills, Eating Out...Rants of Frustration

Hello All...Brief history on me. Banded on 3/30/09. I've lost 38 lbs so far. I've had 2 fills (up to 6.5 cc). I've noticed that a fill only works for me about 3 weeks, then the "I can eat anything" comes back. My doc scheduled me for another fill on 8/12 but I just changed it to next week. WishI could reach the elusive "sweet spot."   I am struggling with eating out. Before surgery, I would eat lunch out every day. Now, I might eat out once every two weeks for lunch (today for instance). Just so frustrating. No restriction at all. I ate too much food. Makes me feel like a failure. No control on my part. The guilt is overwhelming at times.   I feel like the weight loss is a little slow, but I am happy that I am losing. Just wanted it faster! ha! On the positive, my exercise is awesome. I never was into exercise. Now, I actually miss it if I don't walk, lift weights, swim or something. That's a hugh change in my life.   The last week of July we are going to Florida, and I am so worried that I won't stick to the "rules." I do good (most of the time) when I am working because its a structured day.   Well, enough of the pity party. It is so encouraging though each day to see so many successes. It truly gets me going each day!   Thanks for listening! Tracye
babertm

babertm

2
 

She had to have surgery...

I know that you have all kinds of people who either support or don't support our decision to have lapband. I am getting some flack from a girl who is very competitive, and doesn't like the fact that I am about to catch up to her weight. Now, she's saying "well, she had to have surgery to lose. Atleast, I don't have to do that." Sick to death of that... Yes, I did have to have surgery. I've fought weight issues my entire 43 years, and I knew this was the best option. Just wish I wouldn't let her get to me like this. I never can think of a good come back... I usually steaming when she says it.... gripe, gripe, gripe... Thanks for listening... :thumbup:
babertm

babertm

4
 

Need to VENT!!!

I am so disappointed in myself. I was on travel for work last week. Too much social networking, drinking, eating... I had no control at all. I am so angry with myself. I get my second fill this Wednesday (6/10). I hope it works. The first fill did nothing. When I weigh in, it'll be a miracle if I didn't gain anything. Sooo basically, I've wasted a month. The head game is so hard. Will I ever get a grip on food? I hate to think that something (food) can have such control over me. Do we ever learn!!!:sad:
babertm

babertm

2
 

Disappointed in Myself

It's been one of those days. I had a dear friend that had a nervous breakdown last night (husband left after 34 yrs marriage). It was so sad. Five hours in the hospital then to a facility for her to rest. Three hours of sleep then to work. I just ate 1/2 a cheesburger and 8 french fries. I am paying for it too! I never really thought I was an emotional eating, but I proved to myself I am. I am so disappointed that I did this! When am I going to learn! I also have a painful heel spur and can't walk right now. Just needed to whine a little... :smile2:
babertm

babertm

10
 

First Fill on 5/13...Feeling Nothing!

I had my first fill last Wednesday. No problems. It was rather easy actually. BUT...I am not telling any difference. How do you know when you have found the "sweet spot"? Should I be feeling any difference? I am thinking I'll call the doctor's office to see if they can tighten it some more... It's so frustrating. I was having lots of pain in my right heel, and wasn't able to walk like I wanted too. Went to the doc on Friday, and had a bone spur. It just seems like there are always obsticules in the way... Enough of ranting... Thanks for listening! :thumbup:
babertm

babertm

5
 

Five Weeks Post-op

Today is my month (a little past) checkup. I am in "Bandster Hell." My first fill is next Wednesday, the 13th. I have lost about 20 lbs., but its a struggle now because I am hungry. AND I can eat just about anything. I have read some of your blogs about fills, and I am concerned that the first fill won't curb the appetite. I don't dread the fill, but I am concerned that I won't fill a difference with the first fill. Any thoughts??
babertm

babertm

3
 

Am I doing something wrong?

I was banded on 3/30 so this is my 3rd week. My first fill is scheduled for 5/13 (which seems like a long time off). I am beginning to get worried. The feeling of being full is just about gone. I can eat more and I am worried that I'll over eat. I've hit my first plateau also. I know it's a process, but it's hard to get my mind to slow down. I want the weight to fall off yesterday. HA! Knowing how I ate in the past, it worries me that I won't be strong enough to make this lapband surgery a success. Signed...worried...:thumbup:
babertm

babertm

3
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