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Wussing out

I went to my first consultation. I was a little nervous but felt pretty confident until my Dr began to undress me without first letting me know. :biggrin: He asks me to lay down on the table, then he lifts up my shirt, and then without saying anything to that, begins to undo my pants! WTF mate?   Anyhow, other than feeling slightly violated (and I am only partially jesting...), we got along well and I liked him. But I began to wonder if this is right for me, right now.   I think I've decided to hold off on the surgery. But I have to say, having my PCP suggest the lap band AND finding this site, has been a life saver for me, and a real eye-opener. I began to tweak my diet so that the lap band diet wouldn't be so drastic, and in doing that, began to lose weight on my own. I now work out about 5 times a week in half hour sessions, in addition to riding my bike with my husband/kids/dog(s) and hiking/swimming at my leisure. My entire family loves the strawberry kiwi NECTAR protein smoothies I make, and I am actually drinking water now. Not only that, but I am eating so much fruit, which I love, and we have started our own veggie garden. We no longer eat canned veggies, but I make all fresh veggies. The dinners are so tastey, and I don't restrict myself.   Several times a week when the baby goes down for a nap, I sit on my deck with a book and read in the sun while eating fruit or a salad with one of my parrots. The sun has really helped my acne go away, and I've developed a nice, light tan. It de-stresses me and my hubs has noted my new (better) attitude.   I'm now 241.5lbs. I'm losing 1-2lbs a week, most weeks. I hope I will keep losing like that. I'd love to be down to 220 by September/October. I was really happy when I took a week's vacation to Illinois and "pigged out" compared to what I normally eat, (and didn't work out at all), and didn't gain! I'm kinda waiting for a shoe to drop here....it seems too good.   I also tried to buy a horse, thinking it'd help tone me up. Unfortunately, I got on the wrong horse and got bucked off of it...and won a one-way ticket to the ER. Five hours, 3 CT scans, and a full set of x-rays better, I left with a concussion, banged and bruised but apparently not broken, and with a hysterically scared family. So I won't be getting a horse anytime soon...but I will be starting lessons in the mean time.   Lapband may still be the way for me to go. And I hope no one cares if I continue to use this to blog about my weight loss even without the lap band...because the lap band has been my sole reason for being able to lose this weight. :thumbup: Just a short few months ago I was tipping the scales at nearly 270. I can't believe I actually can use the "200" weight bar instead of the "250", when I hop on the scale.   There have been a few bandsters who have had the band for over 9 years who cautioned me to really think this through and think it over...that if they had the chance to go back and make the same decision, they probably would not have done it. I really took that advice to heart and I think I'm making the right decision. The time for me to work out and eat right isn't after I get the band....but before. And *if* I can do this on my own....and not gain it all then some...and keep up with just being healthy...I'll be so grateful to everyone who has helped me, talked to me, given me criticism and/or suggestions, or just kudos on this journey.   So many of us can't lose the weight without the band. And maybe I'll get to 240 and realize that I have hit my plateau and can't get below that, no matter how hard I try. But I'm going to try!   It's all about getting healthy, with a band or without. Congrats to EVERYONE who is doing what is right for their health, no matter how they are doing it, as long as they are healthy and true to themselves. :w00t:
katskradle22

katskradle22

2
 

Got a call from the Doc

My first consultation is May 8th. :w00t:I'm really nervous. My dietitian appointment is going to be set up shortly after-wards.:w00t:   I'm starting to wonder if I am strong enough and able to do this on my own.:tt2: My fear is I've gotten down to 238 before, but then I always gain it back, plus 10 or 20. I don't want to dance that dance again.:tt2: The LapBand is really the only way I can be more secure that it won't happen that way. That I can lose more, and keep it off for good.:glare:   I'm having way too much fun with the smilies today.
katskradle22

katskradle22

2
 

Slowly, Slowly said the sloth...plus some tips.

Well, it's been over 2 weeks and I still haven't heard from the Dr's yet as to when my first consultation might be. I'm starting to get really anxious. With my PCOS, I began to get really concerned if the LB would even help me. I've read so many PCOS bandster's blogs and posts about how they might have lost 20lbs in a year since the LB. PCOS makes it so damned difficult for so many of us to lose the weight; But we can't get rid of the PCOS (or lighten the symptoms) without the weight loss. It's a catch 22. Especially since I've been working out since mid January and I gained 5lbs...:tongue2: However, since prepping for the LB liquid diet, I've lessened my diet to 1-2 protien shakes a day, and 1-2 meals (I shoot for one but sometimes the midnight cravings get me since we don't go to bed until about 1am and I'm back up at 7am), and added a bunch of strength training to my work out, I've lost that initial 6lbs, plus another 6! So I am now 254. Small victory! ::Crowd goes wild:::smile2: I took some bandsters advice and obtained some Syntrax NECTAR protein powder off of Amazon.com. I bought the strawberry kiwi and the roadside lemonade kinds. I'm very impressed! It doesn't have a funky protein drink after taste, the powder isn't chalky in the drink (it fully dissolves, and quickly), and there is only 90 calories, yet 23g of protein per scoop. So every morning I've been making a strawberry/bananna/protein scoop/skim milk smoothie that the entire family loves. I add the roadside lemonade with 50%water 50% decaf iced tea, and it's a great Arnold Palmer drink, perfect for sipping on the deck in the beautiful spring weather. The cost is great, too. Life Changing, I tell ya. Another tip I have, is I like the Slim Fast shakes. So I signed up on the SlimFast website, and they send me coupons every 1-2 weeks for $3 off any size pack of slim fast bars or shakes. My local Walmart always has bonus cases of buy 6 get 2 free for $5.50. With the coupons, I get 8 shakes for $2.50. Who said protein shakes have to be expensive? Also, I hate water...despise water...it's gross. I try to drink a bottle a day but I usually can't....but I am making a point to make sure that 90% of what I drink, other than the protein shakes, doesn't have calories in it. So I drink a lot of PowerAide Zero. Has lots of vitamins, is flavored, but no calories. And they're less than 50cents a bottle. I've cut out over 800 calories a day just by doing that! So...I'm pretty ready, I think....C'mon Drs! What you waiting for?!
katskradle22

katskradle22

1
 

Feeling Nervous

This lapband has become an obsession of sorts. I'm starting to tweak my diet and introduce more liquids, in prep for my 2 week pre-op, which hasn't even been scheduled yet. I haven't even had my first official consultation. (I'm hoping about 2 weeks from now).   Until then I've been on various forums and going through other blogs. I keep reading about everyone's frustration, and I wonder, will that be me? Will that be me doing a 20,000$ surgery to only lose 20lbs? Will that be me who is complaining of all the pain and how I can barely get liquids down or the opposite, how I don't have any restriction? Will that be me, going through all of this, only to be disappointed and scarred? (literally and figuratively):sneaky:   I'm going to give it my best. I'm going to follow Dr's orders, as well as keep working out and striving for a healthier me. I want nothing more than to be blogging about all my success---hardships, yes, but success--and not someone who is blogging about their frustrations, pain, confusion, and loss of hope. :w00t:
katskradle22

katskradle22

1
 

Went to the seminar yesterday...

Well, this week has been full of ups and downs. Aside from the ups and downs in my personal life (my dog died ), I called my medical insurance early (pre-seminar) to see if I even qualify, because looking on their website, it stated that weight-loss programs, even if deemed purely for medical reasons--are not covered. Great. :mad2: So I called our insurance early yesterday, and my phone tech wasn't very nice nor helpful. She told me to call back with diagnosis or billing codes because she didn't think it was covered. At first I felt a bit of relief. Surgery isn't something I am looking forward to. Nor is being out of control; Not being able to move around like I do, even if just for a few weeks. Having to ask for help...But then it began to sink in, and I realized just how accustomed I was getting to the thought of getting the surgery, and getting healthier...I was actually disappointed and quite sad...:thumbup: So I decided to go to the seminar, see how much the process is in cash, and see if I could scratch up some money and work out a payment plan. The seminar was interesting. (I was the 'thinnest' there at 261lbs. (I actually lost the 5lbs I've gained since I began working out in January. FINALLY) In a strange way, it actually made me feel good to not be the largest in a room, like I normally am. I hate that feeling and those looks. I met with 3 doctors there who do the lap-band surgery. I was comfortable with pretty much everyone--but nervous, none-the-less. One thing that I am confused on, is everyone seems to have conflicting processes. On one site, people recommend low-carb eating. One of the ppl at the seminar who have done the lap band, says she eats like she has always done, but much less now. She said she doesn't eat salads, or much bread, though, because of the way it sits in the stomach pouch. One thing I've gathered, is that you eat your meat/protein first.   Filling out the packet of information they require, I called my insurance today with the diagnosis codes for me, and Jackie, my new phone tech, was MUCH more helpful. Turns out, insurance WILL cover me! And all I'll have to pay for the entire procedure is $1200. More than that, ALL of the doctors I met yesterday are in my network. So I can see any of them. Now I am really excited!:tt2:   So now I am waiting on my 3 day food diary to be completed, which I started today, and get the last 5 years of my medical records, and the process will officially begin.   One thing I am NOT looking forward to, is the 2 weeks liquid diet pre-op. :huh2: I mean, I get *why* it needs to be done...to get fatty tissue off the liver and make the procedure easier on everyone...I just know that is going to be tough for me. But I'm sure six months down the road, that will seem like nothing. They mentioned at the seminar that they have 'a product' that helps with that process...is it a product to fight the hunger pains, or a product that we're going to drink? And I'm not all that excited about taking a multi-vitamin daily. I know I need to, and in the grand scheme of things, is *nothing*, but I have a bad memory and I hate taking pills. :ohmy: Damn you, health enforcers!   So my next journal will probably be when I either drop off the paperwork, or have my first official consultation, or if I am just nervous and want to blabber on to the information hole that is the internet. Tonight I'll be informing my parents what I will be doing. I've decided to tell my parents, my sister, and three of my closest friends. Everyone else knows I have PCOS and ovarian issues, so my plan is to tell them I am having surgery to take out cysts. I don't know why I want to keep it hush. I guess it's just none of their business.   Game is still on!:thumbup:
katskradle22

katskradle22

1
 

Nervous Newbie

Well, I am here.   I don't exactly know what to put, but hi, I'm me, and I weigh 266lbs.   I've been on a fairly strict diet and work out regimine now for 3 months (diet for longer), and somehow, I've managed to gain 5lbs.   As far as being fat, I'm pretty well proportioned and get around well. I never really have seen myself as morbidly obese but the reality is that I am. Though my cholesterol and bp's are all good, truth is I have 100lbs more on my heart than I should and a knee that is starting to give me problems at the age of 26. For other health reasons, my doctor finally threw his hands up in the air and ran all my blood tests, and then suggested the lap-band.   So in a few days I have my first consultation/meeting on it. I've been reading all I can; I first am going to the meeting, then I'll be calling our insurance to see how much they'll cover on it...and that will ultimately decide if I do it or not. Depending on that, I'll be waiting to set up the psych evals and be getting mentally ready for surgery. I've never had a single surgery in my life. Never a broken bone, a stitch, I didn't even have wisdom teeth, so I've never been knocked out for anything. The thought of it is definitely foreign, as well as a little frightening.   I've been on the site going through blogs and posts. I'm nervous about the procedure. I'm nervous about failing. I'm nervous about having to mush up my foods or eat liquid diets for a while post-op (I'm not a big drinker and the texture of mushy stuff freaks me out...) but...nothing is easy and there are always going to be sacrifices. If I can't find a way to do it for me...then I have to do it for my kids. Don't get me wrong--I *want* to do it. I *want* to be healthier. I *want* to have more energy. :mad2:   My husband is as supportive as he can be. He doesn't like change much, and he's nervous that if I lose a ton of weight, that I'll become a different person. I'd hate to think that the personality I have today is dependent greatly on my weight. But I can't say that I am not worried about that, as well. I don't even want to be at 145 or 160; I've be very happy to be 200lbs.   Though the reason for the lap-band would not be cosmetic, my apprehension about it is. I'm very happy in my skin as I am now; I'm worried if I lose too much, too fast, that I'll have folds of skin hanging off of me. :ohmy:   Well, I guess that is all I can say for now. I'm anxiously awaiting that first meeting this tuesday, and I'm sure I'll have more to write about, then.
katskradle22

katskradle22

1
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