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addiction

What is addiction ? for a long time i always thought an addiction was some kind of substance abuse such as smoking of any kind legal or not or drinking alcohol without having control of it . what i came to realise was shocking . this all happend during a conversation with my mom and i mentioned that i was glad i did not have an addictive personality or any type of addiction i dont smoke anything and when i drink i can just have one and walk away . then she said "well what do you think you had to have this surgery for ? " i was just blown away . OMG !! for real i had never seen my eating habits as an addiction not once not EVER !! until now . WOW .and that in it self is just UGLY . but as each day comes along threw out my journey i will be more conscious of my addiction and learn to control it . i had my band placed Nov. 10th and had my first adjustment on the 10th of Dec. and about 3 more sice then including one defill was not even able to have fluids just sucked 100%   my starting weight was 254 and im at 190 and still going i'm about 20lbs from my goal and 35 from there goal . i feel so great and love the ability to buy cloths that i like and being able to find them much more easily than before . but threw it all it has been hard to make those better food choices but everyday that comes along i begin to see that its not the food that i need to control it is me and my addiction food is just for nourishment and nothing more
kennedysj427

kennedysj427

3
 

Bad Bad Bad Me!

okay so i did not want to share this but i thought maybe i should . okay so i had my surgery on the 10th of this month everything went well . the day before i was released from the hospital i was given instructions to stay on liquids for 2 weeks . here is were i got thrown off when i was given my meal b4 i left it was my protein and some cream of mushroom and i thought to myself thats not liquids .. but i figured they gave it to me its okay. so when i left the hospital i left with the wrong mentality that my diet was more like easy to eat foods . like cream of wheat stuff that you don't need to chew as much kinds of foods. so i did soft to liquids for a few days then i tried more . like real food and my body was okay with that . long story short I'm now eating food food . and as i start to think of it i feel sooo stupid for not doing what i was told and now i have to go see the Dr. on Monday and I'm scared to tell him what i have been doing but i know i should =( :cool2: ..   question anyone done what i did ?
kennedysj427

kennedysj427

2
 

i did it !

yesterday i was so freaked out about making the wrong choice . and 2day i still felt the same a lil better but not 100% confident about my choice . but i did it anyway i figured i have been planing on this for a year and i was sure about my choice then also i went on the chat here and also posted a blog . and with all the support i was able 2 go threw with it =) and now im here in the hosp. feeling like a champ =) so far ..... been walking around and so far no gas plus pain is almost non exsistant so i have been doing this without pain meds .   thank u all for all ur help and support and good luck on ur journey
kennedysj427

kennedysj427

3
 

Help!!!

I dont know if this is the right choice for me anymore ..and 2morrow is my day of surg... is this normal to feel this way ?   today i started to cry and doubt this whole thing i have worked to this point for a whole year but now im wondering ( cant i not really do this with more hard work ? ) has it really come to this ?
kennedysj427

kennedysj427

4
 

question ??

today i called my surgeons office to ask questions and during my conversation i asked at what point i have to start the liquid diet ? and he told me that i don't have to . anyone ever not had to ?   lol not that i care to do it but i just thought it was a lil strange sice i read alot of people having to do it for 2 weeks
kennedysj427

kennedysj427

9
 

Date!!!

Finally my date is set !!! NOV 10th ohh yeah baby here i come =) I'm so excited . :thumbup:   wow i started this journey 1 year ago
kennedysj427

kennedysj427

3
 

Approved !!!

Today i got my approval letter !! I'm so excited . i had already thrown in the towel thinking that this was just not going to happen . and i guess i was OK with that . truth be told i got discouraged and began going up that old familiar road again and started eating crap . so I'm up 6 lbs which I'm working on as of tomorrow .. i guess thing is to not give up on yourself like i did . between the minor set backs it Finlay got done . at this point i was not expecting it anymore .. lol crazy thing i was calling like 100 times before between the insurance and the surgeons office for the past two months and this month i just said to hell with it .. its not going to happen and left it at that .. but today i went to the mail and got a letter and read it and it said i was approved . lol i could not believe what i was reading and called the surgeons office to see if they had any word and to help me understand the letter . and they said to fax it that they have not gotten anything yet . so i told them i would . i wont hear from them till Monday though since it was so late already . then after calling them i called in insurance to help me understand at this point i still did not believe it and they said that yes the appeal was approved and that the surgery will be covered !!what a great day !!:blushing::thumbup::biggrin::thumbup::thumbup:
kennedysj427

kennedysj427

4
 

round two

so today was my appt with my physician and I'm at the 20lbs mark soo we will be staring to send in an appeal if it don't go threw i don't know what else i can do i have done all they ask . at this point I'm frustrated and determined to beat this best that has taken control of my life . although i love me and all that i am . i don't like being unhealthy / although i don't have any high blood pressure or diabetes . but thats where I'm headed if i don't WIN ! so weather i get the chance to get the surgery which would rock . i will be a LOSER =)   enough is enough . and i love life and my family way to much . and i can not give up on them . much less myself
kennedysj427

kennedysj427

1
 

denied =(

Just found out i was denied =( . thought it was pretty crappy . i was told that although i did meet requirements for the surgery . i did not lose 20 lbs or 10% of my weight so there for i was denied . i called my surgeons office and they told me that they will be appealing it as soon as they get the paperwork . on my consolation the surgeon told me that i did not have to lose weight but that i could not gain not even one pound and if i did he would cancel the surgery . so the guy that i talked to at the surgeons office told me that it should be oKay and that during the appeal they will state that the surgeon did not feel it medically necessary to lose before surgery. although i did lose weight during the 6 months but not the full 20 .. I'm just angry that i did everything the 6 month reg. asked for . and nowhere in the paperwork did it ever state that i needed to lose 10% of my weight . trust me if it did i would not have bothered sending anything in until i did .i feel like i have waisted so much time and money for nothing . but i guess till i get back from the appeal i will keep my head high . well for the most part it still is disappointing   anyone have ideas on what i can do or has anyone been in this situation ?
kennedysj427

kennedysj427

2
 

Dr. Jorge Acosta?????

anyone have surgery by Dr. Jorge Acosta ? hes in El Paso Tx.   if you have it would be nice to get some feedback on your expierance .=) thank you for your time
kennedysj427

kennedysj427

1
 

Optifast???

question can you buy Optifast at a store or does your dr. give it to you or something ?     reasoon i ask is that as time comes closer i want to make sure i do my to have everything i need .     thank you for your help =) :thumbup:
kennedysj427

kennedysj427

2
 

update

:smile2:Hey everyone just wanted to let you guys know that I got my EKG and chest x-ray out of the way also did the psychologist . appt last month so I have three months left b-4 a date can be set . although the dr. said I did not have to lose any weight I thought I would get a head start and do as much as I can b4 d-day so far 6 lbs lost in 3 weeks =) doing a really healthy diet and going to the gym at least 3-4 times a week .
kennedysj427

kennedysj427

1
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