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Today Not a Good Day

:thumbup: Today is not a good day. I called Emory and they wer letting me know that my ins. (cigna) requires a 6 month diet. Ok I already knew that the issue is that the seminar was so awesome and drew in so much attention that the dietian is booked until May.:ohmy::thumbup::mad2:     I don't want to lose two months sitting on my thumbs. My ins doesn't require a PCP but I think that the best thing to do would be to seek one out ASAP so that I don't lose any more time. I really want to make a life change and this surgery is really going to help me. I need help.
DeeDee1908

DeeDee1908

2
 

The first day of the rest of my life?

Today at around 7 I will be attending my seminar. I'm nervous not really sure what to expect of what will happen. I need this, I don't just want it I need it in order to survive.   I had a nightmare last night and now I really don't know what effect the rest of my personal affairs will have on my surgery.   I bring this up only because with the weight gain many things have changed in my life. I was athletic in high school, very active, and focus on the tasks that I had to complete. With the weight gain myself esteem seemed to evaporate. I allowed myself to do and engage in activities that I knew were more damaging to my mental and emotional well being.   I guess one of the areas that have really been affected has been my love life. When I was what society thought was acceptable I never really had a trouble finding someone to love or be attracted to me. It seemed as if men were more interested in me as a person. Now it seems as if I live my life as a sex toy to be played with at the whim of men.   I know that this might nit be true. And I also know that this has alot to do with me as a person but I can't help but wonder. I have come a far way in knowing who I am and what I want. I don't want to continue being the fat girl, the sex toy the person that gets used. I have fought hard to hang on and rebuild the sancitity of normalcy that is my mind. I guess this is turning into some kind of confusing rant so I'll try to wrap it up.   My new life is being embarked upon.
DeeDee1908

DeeDee1908

1
 

Seminar Complete

I went to the seminar tonight and I felt very well educated, most of the situations that the surgeon discussed I had researched and anticipated his answers.   My only issue now is that they are asking for my requiring physician, however my insurance doesn't require me to have a PCP so I really don't know where to go from there. I was told to call tomorrow and speak with Emory's personnel and we would take it from there.   The second concern that I have is my support system. For my first consult with the surgeon I have to bring someone with me. However all my friends and family are in Florida and I'm now living in Atlanta. I guess I'll figure it out. I'm still excited and ready for the next step.
DeeDee1908

DeeDee1908

1
 

Today is a little better.

So yesterday I found a PCP:wink: and made an appointment to become a patient, I was very upfront and told them that my intentions of need a supervised diet and then the refferal to have surgery. Their answer great when do you want to come in?:sneaky:   So this is a great start right?   The appointment is set for April during my spring break as I can't afford to take any days off.   On another note I have gained 2 pounds but it feels like 200 due to the fact that everything in my closet feels as if it is smothering the life out of me. I feel ashamed and bewildered.
DeeDee1908

DeeDee1908

1
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