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One week before surgery

230 lbs 3/09 198 lbs 7/09 Learning to eat slowly and take small bites really is a hard lesson to learn. When I am really hungry, I want to eat fast. But it makes me feel sick and I always eat too much and get the hiccups. :smile2: Recognizing "FULL" is also a lesson that takes alot of practice. It has been 4 months and I have had 3 fills. I am feeling restriction pretty well and losing weight weekly. The first 3 months were somewhat frustrating. I had hoped for a larger weightloss and unrealistically wanted the first fill to do the trick. We are such an instant gratification people. Aren't we?
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Invisable

I am almost 4 mos. out from surgery. I have lost 31 lbs This picture was taken today. This morning I was thinking about being obese and how it felt. Do any of you feel like you are just a shadow figure to the world? People do not look at me, they do not see me and they do not want to see me. All they see is a large shadow to be avoided. Only my family sees the person under the fat. But when they look at other obese people what do they see? When I lose all the weight, what will I see? And how about all of us, the obese people? Don't we want to just blend in to a point that no one sees us? I think I do. I don't want to be noticed.
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Adjusting

I am so excited! When I got on the scale this morning I was below the dreaded 200 lbs. I have been eating around 850-950 calories a day.     Chicken and fish are the best source of meat protien for me. I drink at least one protien shake a day. Yogurt and cottage cheese have become a staple. I put the cottage cheese in a food processor and add vanilla and stevia sweetner and puree it. It tastes alot like cheese cake. I always put a tablespoon of natural p-nut butter into my yogurt. It is very satisfing. Sometimes I use salt and pepper and a bit of Mrs. Dash in the yogurt doe a change It has a nice savory taste. Cantalope is a low calorie snack and it has some fiber. Speaking of fiber, I take a fiber pill every day. This whole experience has been constant adjustments and all new habits. Learning about the body that I choose to pretty much ignore, is a daily thing. But, it is so worth it
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Exercise

With all of the emphasis on diet, exercise and other health behaviors, the real marker of long life seems to be mental even more than physiological," says aging expert Daniel Perry, noting that those who reach very old age "have a certain toughness of spirit about them and an ability to roll with life's punches and keep plugging away with a sense of purpose."   Wow, that is great news.     I have been cleaning out my closet, again. This time I was serious about it. I did not save anything over an 18. Gaining and losing weight has become such a habit that I save fat clothes and skinny clothes. No more.   Posted by Queen Bee's
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July 4th

Good Morning!     I just made a pasta salad for tomorrow. It looks very yummy. I think I will make Lemonade Pie too.     We always go to my sons house to swim and grill.     I have lost 2 lbs this week so far. Yeah!   I went to Kohl's yesterday. They are having a big sale. It was fun to look for something smaller than a 2x. I got some capris and a pair of sandles. I have found that I am not thinking about food all the time. That is a blessing! When I do eat, I pick something low in calories and don't feel deprived. There is hope Sister's.
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Surgery

The night before surgery I wanted to back out. I didn't want to give up my comfort ( food ). How was I going to feel when everone else in my family went out to eat? Would it be easier to just stay home? I had lots of questions and very few answers. I did go through with it and I am not sorry. I did it because of my health. In the end that was what was important. It took about one hour to do the surgery and two hours in recovery. I don't remember anything about the first couple of hours in my room. The first 24 hrs were not bad. The first afternoon home was painful and the next day was painful. I had terrible gas in my back. It hurt to move. I was coughing and that was not pleasant. I was bruised and that was not nice to look at. The first three days were pretty much yucky. The fourth day was actually much better and each day since has been an improvement. It is now day six and I am back to using the wii fit. Slowly! I have lost 6.5 lbs and my hunger seems to be in control. Crushing up pills is the pits. I have not tasted a good one yet! My fingers are sore from checking my blood glucose. It is part of the deal. I got thrush in my mouth. It was a lovely shade of white and pink stripe. I got dressed on day 5. The liguids are getting old. The whey protien is not that tasty. My tongue was better on day 5. I ate plain live culture yogurt. I am happy with everthing so far.
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Diet and Nutrition Class

I went to a 4 hour class for diet and nutrition. I learned some new things, re-learned some old things and spent some time yawning. There were only a few others in the class. Someone once said there are no stupid questions, but really that is not true. Sometimes people will begin with a questionably stupid question and then go into their life story. I did come away with a few new ideas on how to get thru the first few weeks awaiting the first fill. I am going to go to a support group meeting on 3-9-09. I think I will need all the support I can get. I have 9 more days until surgery. My son bought me a wii fit today. I have used his before and I think it will be a fun way to excerise. On the 10th I will go for my pre op blood work and pre op paper work at the hospital.
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Queen Bee's Musings

Today is February 20, 2009. In less than a month I will start a new chapter of my life. I am having lapband surgery on March 18th. This process started in April of 2008. It has been a long and sometimes exasperating ten months. I wanted to give up and just deal with the diabetes and the fat, more than once. Finally all the paper work was done and it was faxed to the Insurance Company. I was prepared for a 45 day wait. I figured they would drag it out as long as possible. I was really wrong about that. My Dr.'s office got the approval in two days. Thank you Amerchoice!   I am keeping this blog to journal my weight loss. I don't want to forget about anything especially answered prayer. The Lord has seen me thru some rough times and has brought me to this point. Thank You, Lord.
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