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The Secret

As I begin my new journey with "The Secret" I will find all of this so much easier. A peaceful journey to good health and happiness.   There doesn't seem to be enough time to listen and read and learn all that I want to learn these days. What is the rush? If peace is my goal I should slow the process and enjoy the journey
Barbara12375

Barbara12375

1
 

The date is set

Well insurance let me down. I wasted 6 weeks but when I called the doctor's office they have had a cancellation this Friday, June 9th and I'm taking it! Yippee! I am so excited and scared at the same time. I can't think of anything else. David is being a poop about it........... it's all about the money, not my health or happiness. I won't let it get me down. I'm doing this for me and me alone.   I have to be there at 8 a.m. and it should be finished and out of there by noon. Wow! It's really going to happen. I have wished for this for years and now that it's here, I can't believe it.
Barbara12375

Barbara12375

1
 

six plus months later

I've never been good at keeping up with a journal..........nothing has changed.   My highest weight was 265. On surgery day I was 261. My lowest now has been 194. 70 pounds. Wow! The beauty of it is that it won't come back. I will never go over 200 again. I always said that when on previous diets and in the blink of an eye I would be back up there and beyone. Unless, God forbid, something goes wrong with my band I will not gain again.   I had an unfill a couple days after Christmas and I've gained a couple pounds. I feel almost wide open and have been eating all kinds of crap. I am going back tomorrow for another fill. I want just a small one. The last one was bad and all the stress of David being in the hospital was a nightmare. I lost lots of weight but I also nearly lost my sanity. The lack of vitamins, protein, etc caused nasty things. My nails are a mess, my hair is dull, dry and lifeless. My skin is dull and has no elasticity. That may just be an age thing and I will live with it if I have to. I am wearing size 14 jeans and while I am not exercising, I still feel better than I've felt in years. I can breathe so much better. I don't wet my pants with the least exertion. It's all good.   I want to go on to 150 if I can. I'm not desparate to lose now. I am not yet happy with my looks but I am so much improved. I can't imagine myself at 150. It would be cool just to see how I look.   Later.........
Barbara12375

Barbara12375

1
 

Let's get started

Well I think it will be a good idea to document some of the events and feelings somewhere, so why not here.   I am awaiting the ok from my insurance and gathering medical information. I am very anxious and excited. I hope I have a good outlook and will be very successful. I am probably expecting it to be easier than it really will be but I want this weight gone so badly I think I will do whatever it takes.   I have given up on dieting completely so I will have to get my mind re-set.   Later.
Barbara12375

Barbara12375

1
 

5/20/06

Another entry so soon?   I plan to start the Atkins diet tomorrow. Looks like so many people lose weight before their surgery. I guess shrinking my liver is a good thing. I never knew my liver got heavier, etc.   I am so ready for this. I am anxious about the insurance. Even though I planned on being self pay, when they told me my insurance would cover it I was very excited. I'd hate to have to pay it all now and David would not be happy. I won't let anything stop me..........not money, not anything.
Barbara12375

Barbara12375

1
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