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About this blog

my name says it all! I wasn't always over weight, but i wasn't always fat. it's been a yo-yo and i'm tired of it! Here i go.....

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This is it...

TODAY is THE day. I actually leave in about 20 minutes! make that 15! in 2 hours i should be taken back to the OR and by 8 they should start.   yesterday i wondered, should i be doing this?   last night, i took before pics. YES, i SHOULD be doing this, and i should have done it or SOMETHING about it SOONER!   you can SEE the unhappiness in my face.   i cannot even recognize the person in those pictures.   I know by the end of the day i will be thinking, WHAT IN THE HELL DID I DO TO MYSELF??? but in a few weeks, i will be so happy to have done this and to be on my way to a healthy, happy ME!!!   for now, let the freak out begin! AAAHHHHHHHHHH!
wannabthinagain

wannabthinagain

1
 

one step closer

Today i had my last appointment with Dr. Chung before the surgery. I was pretty calm. I thought i would be a nervous wreck. that will probably hit tomorrow. I hope it doesn't tonight. i want to be able to sleep!   After my appointment, i went over to the hospital for Pre-op testing. Blood work, chest X-ray and EKG. They put my braclet on, i guess as a reminder of what i'm gonna be doing tomorrow! now, evertime my hand goes to my mouth, i'll have a reminder that i'm really gonna do this! REALLY. I'm GONNA! oh shit!   The babies are at mom's now. i'm sure they will be fine. they'll miss us, i know, but they have GOT to know that it's ok to not have my scent (or dad's) 24/7.   maybe this is the first step in the right direction...the one that ROSALIND starts taking time OUT for herself... to take care of HERSELF, to stop putting everyone else in front of HERSELF!   I have to be at the hospital at 6:15. I am the 2nd band he will do tomorrow, so i should be in surgery by 8! that's LESS THAN 24 HOURS!   YIKES!   i need to do pics. i hate to even THINK about that, but i want to be able to see the difference because i know i won't see it by looking in the mirror. i'm sure i will be glad i did the before shots when i reach goal also!   I have things to do....stuff to get together, things to clean.... so i better go.   Tomorrow, March 3, 2009....the first day of the rest of my life. (my prediction says, i'm gonna HATE that first day! LOL)
wannabthinagain

wannabthinagain

1
 

It's been a while, but it's been pretty good!

I haven't posted in a while, but i've done pretty good. I had a couple days that i could and wanted to eat anything i wanted. I had crawfish and i was a happy camper! I still lost which was surprising actually. I would have been happy to have just not gained!   Mom came and did not say ONE FREAKING WORD about my loss. should i be surprised? why can't she be happy with what i have accomplished? oh well...this is not for her, or about her....   i went to my appointment on monday March 30 for a fill. i got 3 cc's. i kinda feel something every so often, maybe a tiny bit of restriction? i dunno. i know i can still eat things i shouldn't be able to and able to eat quick and not worry about forgetting to chew chew chew.
wannabthinagain

wannabthinagain

1
 

it's all good...until you SNEEZE!

i did great yesterday. I even went with my mom to the education store for probably 2 hours walking around. I forgot my water bottle and i need to make that a habit to bring it everywhere with me. i wasn't hungry while gone, but was thirsty. I did great all night, didn't take meds at all, slept good, was able to turn over with no pain.   THEN...this morning, i sneezed! OMG, it felt like knives in my side. only at my port site. now, it is more sore than yesterday.   my period decided to come too, it's been here since Thursday i think. i guess it's making up for lost time because i think it's been since January that it had made a visit! i wish it would go away SOON and without leaving with a headache on the way out!   i'm really tired today...time change....long day yesterday (mom and andy were here, late to bed the night before and last night) period...?? i don't know. I guess it's good that we have someone coming to help with the kiddos this evening since hubby has to work 4-12 this evening.   it seems i've lost 12 pounds so far. i know that's a good number, some say they even gain at this time, but boy do i like stepping on that scale seeing the numbers drop!   I still seem swollen, wonder if it's because i'm not going to the bathroom too easy. still some gas in there from surgery?   i kinda notice my face, hands and feet don't look so swollen, but my belly, YUCK! it looks big and swollen, bruised and gross!   i wish i could fast forward a month! i can't wait to see what the next month will bring!
wannabthinagain

wannabthinagain

1
 

in the begining.....

Here is the start of a journey for the rest of my life! here's how it's gone so far....   Feb. 11- First meeting with Dr. Chung Feb. 18- APPROVED and got a surgery date!~ Feb. 25- 2nd appointment. got all my info to start liquid diet on 2-26.   Went eat at Johnny Carino's for my 'last supper'. really was a stressfull dinner with the kids and the food was cold. Didn't stop me. I had Spicy Shrimp and chicken.   February 26th. Today, it seems very easy. Five days from now? i don't know if i'll still say the same thing! HA!   i went to Sam's and to Wally world to stock up and look for some of the things i will need before and after banding.   so far today i have had 1 cup of carnation instant breakfast (chocolate) and water.....and it's 3 p.m.! yikes...that's not good!   I took my BP meds 1 1/2 pills and 2 flintstone vite's!   I have worked on clothes today also. i want to have the house all straightened, and hopefully really clean so i can come home to a clean house and the 'boys' can keep things up until we get someone in here to help.   The babies will go to mom's Monday (3-2) and stay until Friday (3-6). Mom will bring them here and stay the night. I'm going to miss them so much, but i REALLY could use the break and this is a perfect time..... i can't do much, so i'll have to take care of ME while they are gone!   I don't want to be fat anymore. is this a drastic approach? maybe, but it will make me happy with myself, and i NEED that right now.   I need to feel good, look better, have more energy, be more healthy....and i need to teach my children that this is important!   hubby is going to grill burgers tonight so i don't have to cook. I think while they eat, i will go take a LONG bath and relax.   :cool2: this is gonna be me in 5 days! lol
wannabthinagain

wannabthinagain

1
 

i survived the night!

I was concerned yesterday with how well i would be able to sleep. I have to say that it wasn't bad. i started out on my back but i hate sleeping on my back, so i tried my right side. it was a little scary trying to get there, because it hurt a bit, but once i was all the way on my side, i had no problems. I did have to switch to my other side early this morning.   this morning i'm feeling pretty good. i can feel where my port is the most. it's really swollen there more than anywhere else.   I had weighed myself yesterday before leaving for the hospital and again last night...i had GAINED 6 pounds! i guess it was from the surgery, being swollen, and the fluids they pumped in my before, during and after surgery because by this morning, i had lost those 6 again plus 1!   when sitting, the only time i'm feeling anything is when i try taking really deep breaths. I was watching something that was sad, and started to cry, and THAT hurt..... all across my chest, both left and right sides.   Getting up from sitting or sitting from standing has a bit of pain too.   I keep getting up and walking around so the gas will pass. i also took Gas-X just incase.   today, i can have water and a carnation instant breakfast drink.
wannabthinagain

wannabthinagain

1
 

i did it, i did it....

It's DONE! i'm not hating life, i actually feel really good. good meds? maybe! LOL   everything went well, he ended up finding a hernia on my esophpgus. He stitched it up. he asked hubby if i had reflux/heartburn/indigestion... i guess it would cause that. I'm home and other than when i take a really deep breath (left shoulder pain), when i go from sitting to standing or vise cersa, i'm feeling really good. i thought i would really be in pain and i'm not. not even close. i feel like i did way too many sit up (only at my port site). not bad...not bad at all!
wannabthinagain

wannabthinagain

1
 

2 weeks into my journey...

I didn't realize how many days it has been since an entry. I guess there really wasn't anything new to report. I was able to add a few new things to my food list, i also saw the scale going down, but didn't want to get too exctied over that since i was going to wait to see what if Dr's office scale said the same loss....   SO, today was my appointment. the first thing she did was weigh me. sure enough...I am down 17 pounds. they said 16, but i weight my clothes...I know, i'm anal! the Dr. said i am doing VERY GOOD...that usually people don't lose and sometimes gain during the healing phase.   He ok'd me to start on food now. I had talipia for lunch with a lil green beans on the side.   my back started hurting yesterday. i think it was because i drove to Lafyette and back yesterday. sitting upright i guess? I took liquid tyenol to see if it would help. i didn't want to take a 'pill. Yesterday i took a Zyrtec and it felt like it stayed in my throat all day.   I was able to take off the steri-strips today. I am pleasantly surprised at the look of things!! i don't think they will show much at all after they are healed for a few months!! i wanna wear that bikini one day, so i don't want scaring all over my belly! :thumbup:   My next appointment is in 2 weeks. I will possibly get a fill that day. it just depends on how well i am doing on regurlar food and my weightloss. if things continue as they are, i won't have problems with food getting stuck (i'm still empty right now). I hope adding regular food won't make me gain. i would even be happy if i don't lose...ok, no i wouldn't, but that would be better than gaining!! my hopes is that i still lose more!! I would love for family to 'notice' when we go visit the 2nd weekend in April. that's still 3 1/2 weeks away....
wannabthinagain

wannabthinagain

1
 

2 steps forward one step back...2 steps forward.

Well, i said i wasn't in much pain at all the other day. That evening things got worse. I'm sure now that it was just gas, but boy was i scared. i couldn't lay down, or sit...i had to walk around the house over and over. it felt like some serious contractions going on! I tried to go to bed and it was worse. got up and finally called the Dr. he let me take 1 alieve and i took my pain meds. within a hour, things were normal again and i was able to sleep! thank goodness!   Yesterday was a good day. I ate a lil bit of yogurt for breakfast, a carnation breakfast drink for lunch, and more yogurt for supper. i drank my water throughout the day. i did have the same right side pain again, but not nearly like the day before.   I'm getting up from sitting much easier and even rolling over and getting out of bed isn't as bad.   I stepped on the scale and according to it, i have lost 11 pounds so far. that is including the pre-op. the day after surgery i was actually UP 6 pounds! i guess it was all the swelling! i was happy to see that go!   the babies are coming home today! i miss the lil boogers! My and dad will be bringing them this evening. I will get to visit with mom a little too. they are leaving Saturday though. Saturday night i will be on my own with all the kids. thank goodness i can count on my oldest to help with the littles!   My 2 week appointment is march 16th. would it be too much to ask to have lost 20 pounds by then? I'll hope for it, but won't be dissapointed if i don't!   we have quite a few concerts we are going to in the next several months. i am hoping that i can tell a difference in my weight so i don't have much anxiety about getting out around crowds!!   off to make my breakfast........
wannabthinagain

wannabthinagain

1
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