Every day life is full of so many choices. Now I am about to make one of the biggest choices of my life. So many other big decisions came so much easier to me than this. To band, or not to band, that is my dilemma.
So, I guess it is time for some background now. I am 29. I am a mother of 2 wonderful and beautiful little girls. I am married to my high school sweetheart, and the 1 true love of my life. Life is great. I should be so happy. Should! So what is bringing me down you may wonder? My weight. I am fat. I AM FAT! I have been my entire life. I often think and wonder how I let myself get to this point. There are many reasons I guess. An often unhappy childhood. Years of abuse. Poor food choices in the home growing up. I am part of the generation raised on boxed and canned meals. The only thing my mother ever made from scratch was deep fried. Vegetables, what were those? Why would I want to snack on an apple, when I had cookies and chips? But, as easy as it is to blame everyone else, I really need to do some Soul searching and take a good, long look in the mirror at myself. For then the answer will truly be in front of me.
So what is so tough about the decision? Well, I really want to have the lap band. I have been researching it. Talking about it. Heck, I practically dream about it. I can't imagine going on 1 more diet that is not going to work. I have tried every one I can think of. And I have realized the cruel truth, DIETS DON'T WORK! But, am I really ready to spend that kind of money? Am I really ready to make the commitment? Do I have what it takes to stick with it? I have got to do something. If now is not the right time, when is?
