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It is SO not a competition!

UGH! Being 7.5mths post op (banded 5/19/08), I feel that I have reached that point that so many people reach---frustration. Its as if I can't be happy with the fifty lbs I've lost, OH NO!, I feel that I should have lost all of the weight by now. WTH? I know better. I know its 1 to 1.5lbs a week, I never ONCE thought that after surgery I would magically lose every lb of excess weight and suddenly be wearing a sz 4. I'm realistic. When I went for my pre-op psych eval I even told the psychiatrist that this was my "tool". Its just hard and I'm glad I was able to find a place where other people understand what I'm saying.   On to the competition. Someone I am semi-close with started her weight loss journey around the same time I did (feb 08). She had planned on getting banded but didn't for whatever reason. So she started excercising excessively (2-3hrs/day) and eating minimally (700cals/day). I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that she could even stand, let alone function and go to the gym by eating so little. She weighed more than I did when we started (she was ATLEAST 350lbs+) and she posted her new year's resolution of wearing a sz 7/8 within the next two months. GRRRRR! Am I jealous? Of course, but that wasn't the big issue. The big issue was when she emailed me and bragged about her being so close to her goal and how she was so sorry for me that I had yet to even reach half way to mine. WTF? Who says that to another person trying to lose weight? Its very frustrating and annoying and I am not sure what to say to her. I mean, on one hand I want to ask her not to say things like that to me, that it bothers me and that my weight loss is a personal thing for me. But, on the other hand I want to cyber-spit in her face and tell her to shove off. I guess I just want her to realize that this isn't a competition between the two of us. My weight loss is a private thing for me, I don't tell family/friends my weekly weight loss (not even my dear hubby) nor do I tell them my short-term/long-term goals. Its just a private struggle for me because no one can understand it. I decided to post a ticker through this board because everyone else here can understand and sympathize. I know people here won't judge me or make me feel as if I am not doing well enough. :confused:   I think I will go bounce on my ball a bit and watch some tv, maybe munch some celery, def. have food cravings tonight but I know I'll make healthy choices!
tifftiff515

tifftiff515

7
 

Just another day, another day, another day

Today was a little off. I feel crappy, crappier than I have in months. The day started with me ignoring the alarm clock that was set wrong and sleepin in until 655a. I was supposed to be up at 615a because I had a neurology appt at 745a and wasn't exactly sure where it was. So I had to fore-go my much coveted morning shower in order to dress the kids and myself and get in the car. Hubby had to take me bc I still can't drive and he screamed and moaned worse than the children that he was hungry. So, of all freakin places, he decides we are going through the McDonald's drive through WTH?!? I ordered an egg mcmuffin and ate the egg mc part, that is to say I trashed the muffin. I was almost late for my appt but not quite and had to wait thirty five mins to see the doc. He was very nice and helpful and gave me prescriptions for my migraines (which I was so apt on filling but completely forgot on my way home) and made a follow up appt for one month. My head is pounding now but I'm not sure if its from lack of sleep (it has that dull feeling to it, that "you're freakin tired" feel) or an actual headache that turns into a killer migraine. I took the sample the doc gave me awhile ago, but its not working. Mia is atleast taking a nap but Jordan is standing here yelling at me that she "needs to call the police (comes out poohleees) because someone stole her bathroom stool". So I really want to lay down and go to sleep but thats not happening. I only take solice in the fact that Mike will be home in an hour or so and I will be able to sleep. Did good with eating today though, (aside from my egg mc - the muffin) had a lean cuisine for lunch and some hot air popcorn for snack. Good job tiffy =)   ~tifftiff
tifftiff515

tifftiff515

2
 

topamax & migraines

So my neurologist put me on topomax (or is it topamax?) for my migraines and last night was my first dose (before bedtime). He forewarned me that the most common side effect was appetite loss, and i just shrugged it off because big deal, right? Well no. Being banded for me means I do not get hungry. I have to remind myself to eat, so a drug that surpresses my already non-existent appetite is no biggie, or so I thought. I realized a half hour ago that today I had 2 cappacinos (yes, I know we arent' supposed to have caffeine, but I'm a bad girl), less than a cup of salad w/ vinagarette dressing, less than a 1/4c of pulled pork (just plain), and that was it. UHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhm, thats so not me. I have no desire to lose weight the unhealthy way. Anyone can force themselves to stop eating, and what good does it do? Eventually you fall off the wagon and binge an then -pow- all your weight is right back on. I chose to eat healthy. I never deprive myself of things---NEVER. Even chocolate, sugar, soda, whatever. I just hold myself accountable for it. For instance, if I have to give into my temptation and eat half a package of m-n-ms (220cals for 1/2; 440 for whole), I know that for dinner I better be eating fish or chicken breast and it better be dry, no pretty sauces for me, gotta keep the calories down. This forces me to forego the m-n-ms (my weakness) because I love to cook and I love to have fab dinners, not boring "I'm on a diet" dinners. Its all give and take. I eat not so good things in moderation and am sure to fill the rest of my day with exceptionally healthy things. Which, is really easy for me since I could probably be a vegetarian if need be. Like if tomorrow meat sky rocketed in price, it wouldn't bother me, I just would eat more broccoli & spinach <3   Anywho, I am very upset over what this medication did to my appetite today and I am planning on paying better attention to it tomorrow. But, if for some reason I find myself unable to get my diet back to where it needs to be, I'll be calling the neurologist and he'll be changing my meds. I'd rather suffer from the occasional migraine than make myself sick from not eating properly.   <3 tiff:tongue_smilie:
tifftiff515

tifftiff515

2
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