well its been 2 days since my surgery and its a lot more painfull and serious than I had expected.. Im in a bit of a panic at what i have just done to myself. Did I really think this over as well as I could have? I havnt started pooping yet but I feel like I might be able to tomorrow.. There have been moments of slight panic attacks of super hot flashes and I have to convince myslelf that I can still breathe. Sleeping on my side has helped me relax. But Im still taking several pain killers every several hours. I suppose that this is normal. I plan on taking a xanax tonight to help me sleep. Ive had very strange dreams while trying to rest.
I have just thrown away the entire container of vanilla flavored whey protein. Id rather die than eat one more mouth full. Im making my fist trek out of the house today since surgery 5 days ago. Im definatly having a hard time finding ways to get protein into myself. I refuse the vanilla stuff. oh and by the way I HATE CHOCOLATE FLAVORED Carnation instant breakfast. Funny but its the only flavor you can find that is no sugar added. I ordered some vanilla and strawbwrry from wallgreens online but have still yet to recieve it. So its off to the market today for some much needed supplies. My incision sites seem to be healing but the one on my right upper side is clearly the most painfull. I want absolutly nothing sweet but am craving savory like there is no tomorrow. Im going to make homemade bean soup that i will later puree and some homemade red gravy as a base to put unflavored protein into. That at the very least sounds appetizing to me. I tried putting on a pair of too tight jeans today, they fit but im still not gonna waer them shopping. A bit uncomfortable and im not willing to put up with any unnecessary uncomfort at tis point. I also feel like the pain killers are making me wicked bitchy. I feel bad moods swing in and I simply go and lie die as not to put Jeff through any extra drama in taking care of me during my recovery. Whats with all theses dumb ass smiles on this blog site? what are we all 8 year old girls? Seems totatlly gay to put smiles after a blog....maybe im feeling a little bitchy now?
