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Entries in this blog

 

Why am I afraid to reach my goal weight?

Sept. 7, 2009 164.4 lbs.   Okay...this is a strange feeling that I must confront. I have become satisfied with my current weight loss and I have no motivation for losing the 11 lbs. to get me to my goal weight of 153 lbs. It has been a very long time since I have been in the 150's... probably high school was the last time.   My mind tells me that I should try to get to goal by my 1 year bandiversary of Nov. 20th. It's a realistic goal to lose 11 lbs in two months.   I don't understand why I am so afraid. I don't think I realized how much I used my obesity as an outward covering to shield me from experiencing life. I now feel like I no longer have a shield and consequently, I am noticed more often than ever by women who compliment my outfits and men who open the door for me.   I just need to take one day at a time and enjoy the journey...
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What Plateau?

May 22, 2009 179.8   I couldn't believe the scale this morning...I lost over 2 lbs which put me in the 170's and a total weight loss of 33.2 lbs.   I am so thankful for this forum and all of the encouraging comments that were left. I took some B12, increased my water intake and walking, and stopped the snacking after 6:00 p.m.   I am definitely getting a lot of positive comments about my weight loss. My clothes are fitting loose and I feel so...good that I could scream!   I am over half-way to my goal of 150 lbs.
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What is too small for me?

September 15, 2009 162.6 lbs.   Yesterday at church, the preacher's text was MYOB...Mind Your Own Business. Immediately after church, this lady approached me to say that I know this goes against what the preacher said because I have to mind your business. She proceeded to explain to me that I was too thin. She went on to say that had she not been plump, she wouldn't have survived her battle with cancer. To say the least, I was speechless. How could I respond without being or seeming rude?   This has become an ongoing problem as I get closer to my goal weight. I haven't been this small in a very long time, so people equate it with too thin when I don't think it's actually the case.   I am fortunate that my body can carry more weight. Currently, I can wear sizes 6, 8, and 10s. I don't want to be unrealistic, but I do want reach my goal.   What a journey!
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Unfill = weight gain, now what?

October 6, 2009 165 lbs.   Last Wednesday, I had .25 removed from my band. Since then, I have been able to eat more than I ever. Consequently, I have gained over 5 lbs.   I am somewhat confused and I don't know what to do. I don't want to be miserable as I was, but I think I need a little more restriction.   I am torn. I also realize that I have a sick addiction to overeating.
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TOM = Tight Band

April 11, 2009 188.4 lbs.   My TOM arrived on Thursday and to my surprise, not only do I cramp and feel awful, but I am also experiencing a tighter band. I have not been able to eat much at all. I had read on the forum about this occuring, but I am now experiencing it.   Well..the good part about it is that I will lose some weight during my TOM for a change!
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The tightness continues

April 12, 2009 188 lbs.   Everything that I have tried to eat has gotten stuck the past few days. I have tried to search the forum that discussed the TOM, but I have been unsuccessful. I just hope this tightness ends when my TOM ends.   I am losing weight because I cannot eat. I have tried to increase my intake of fluids to compensate for my lack of nourishment.
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Spring break is over...

March 23, 2009 191.8   Spring break is indeed over. My...how time flies! Yesterday at church, a lady who was probably twice my age, testified that she finally realized the secret to weight loss -- DISCIPLINE!!! She stated that she was now focused on being more disciplined and less reliant on a quick fix.   As I sat and listened to her testimony, I silently prayed that I would not struggle with weight loss for the rest of my life. I want to be disciplined and focused. I want my outside to manifest what I feel on the inside.   So as I prepare to return to work after a week long break, I have to remember to be disciplined.   1. Drink more water. 2. No eating out!!!   I will continue to lose weight and feel healthier if I remain disciplined.
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Shrinko de Mayo Challenge

March 21, 2009 193.8 lbs.   I joined the Shrinko de Mayo Challenge. I am hoping to lose 15 lbs. in about six weeks. I think I do well with a challenge and accountability. Since starting, I have already lost three pounds. Last night, I went shopping for lunch foods for when I return to work. I don't plan to eat out at all! I bought a whole case of shakes in case my band is as tight as it seems. I am not going to panic yet because I have read about several people who had a tightly restricted band and then after a week or two, it loosened up into a sweet spot. I am hoping that is the case for me.
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Restricted for Mothers' Day

May 9, 2009 183 lbs   I am not looking forward to eating out today for Mothers' Day. It's also my TOM, so I know that the restriction is tight. I must remember to chew, chew, chew, and chew some more and take small bites.   I wonder why my band is tighter during my TOM....   Here's to a wonderful Mothers' Day!
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Progress Report

Sept. 1, 2009 weight 164.8 lbs start (nov) - current = loss chest - 40.5 - 35.5 = 10 inches loss waist - 41 - 29.5 = 11.5 inchess loss hips - 47.5 - 40.5 = 7 inches loss arm - 14 - 12.5 = 1.5 inchess loss thigh - 28 - 23 = 5 inches loss   Total inches loss = 34 inches Total weight loss = 48.2 lbs.   The weight loss has continued at a rate of approximately 5 lbs. per month. I am amazed at my total weight loss of 48.2 lbs and 34 total inches loss. I am wearing 8's and 10's and feeling good about myself. There are still times that I look in the mirror and I see the overweight person that I used to be...I don't know if that will ever change.   I am approximately 12 lbs. away from my goal of 153 lbs., which will put me at a total weight loss of 60 lbs. I can't believe that I am this close when I have been so far away. Now I must work to adjust my psychological addiction to food that cause me to be overweight in the first place.
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Progress is progress...no matter how small

March 22, 2009 193.6 lbs.   I took my measurements Nov. 24, 2008 (4 days after surgery and compared them to now.   Then (Now) -Lost   Chest 40.5 (38) -2.5 Waist 41 (33) -8 Hips 47.5 (45) -2.5 Thigh 28 (25.5) - 2.5 Arm 14 (13.5) - .5   Total inches lost: 16 :thumbup:   So...I am celebrating the progress I have made! I am almost at the 20 lbs mark. I am not where I want to be, but I thank God I am not where I use to be.
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Progress

April 22, 2009 186.6 lbs.   This morning, I walked and concluded my workout with exercises to tone my arms. People are noticing that I am losing weight and as I receive compliments, I am sharing my lapband secret. I didn't announce to everyone when I had it done because I didn't want anyone to discourage me or judge me. The response has been overwhelmingly supportive. I am definitely learning each day about how to live with my band and the journey has not been easy, but I don't regret my decision to get the band.
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Praise Report

July 10, 2009   Today I decided to wear a sleeveless top for the first time in approximately 10 years. I feel liberated. After spending the last couple of months noticing others who wore sleeveless shirts, I decided to get out of my box. My husband was impressed and noticed immediately. I feel very good about the progress that I have made on this journey.
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Praise Report

July 24, 2009 172 lbs.   I was excited this morning when I stepped on the scale and it read an even 172 lbs. I increased my exercise by getting in my 10,000 steps with steps, treadmill, and walking more. In addition, I have been drinking the protein water.   I am excited that I am getting closer to my goal. I don't think I want to get all the way down to 150 lbs. Currently, I am 172 and wear sizes 8 and 10's. I really just want to be a fit size 8. I think 155 - 160 lbs. will allow that comfort, so I am less than 20 lbs away from my goal.   It's a slow journey, but a worthwhile one. I struggled at the beginning and wondered what had I done, but I am very glad I did it.
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Plateau...please go away

May 19, 2009 182.2   For the past two weeks or so, I have been at or about 182 lbs. I want so very badly to be in the 170's. :smile2:   I know this is a journey...I am not going to give up. I am going to put my metabolism in gear. I haven't been walking as much, so I am going to increase my activity again. Also, I need to drink my water too! So...let's see how those two goals work for me!
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Plateau...now what?

April 7, 2009 189.6   Okay...my weight loss has stopped for the past week or so which is what I expected. I always plateau for about two - three weeks. I am not going to use this an excuse to give up though. I am going to make sure that I am getting my protein and drinking my water. I have been walking every morning. I might need to switch it up some. I thought about joining a gym to lift weights, but I just haven't committed to that decision yet.   I can tell by the way that some of my clothes fit that I am losing something...I am not quite sure how I can be losing inches without losing weight when I am not doing any heavy resistance training.   Okay....let's do this!
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One Year Out -- Now What?

Nov. 29, 2009 162 lbs.   I celebrated my one year bandiversary on November 20th. I have lost a total of 51 lbs. and I am only 9 lbs away from my goal weight. I feel good about the progress I have made even though it has not been an easy journey. It has really been rough at times. I have spent more time trying to work the band than I have been working out. I would love to be at goal weight of 153 lbs. by my birthday, Dec. 17th. It will only require that I: 1. do some form of cardio workout 3-4 days 2. drink my water 3. take my vitamins 4. eat the way I am supposed to...   I haven't come this far (and spent over 13,500 dollars) to stop before I get to my goal, which is pretty conservative. My doctor thinks I should go down to the 140's but I think that is too small and would be hard for me to maintain.   Ok...I am on my way to a thinner, healthier, happier me!:thumbup:
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OMG...Dilated Pouch

July 14, 2010   Last week I went to my lap band doctor to have my band checked out because I hadn't been able to keep anything down. I thought or felt like something was wrong. My doctor determined that I was too tight and consequently my pouch had dilated. He removed 1.5 cc's and I am scheduled for a check up after six weeks. If all is well, then I will be able to get a fill. Although I was happy that my band hadn't slipped and I didn't have to have another surgery, it has been tough being able to eat so much. For the past week, I have been devouring any and every kind of food imaginable.   Since then, I have gained 10 lbs. Yes, I went to the doctor last Wednesday and by Tuesday morning, I had gained 10 lbs. The scale read 171 lbs. and I had been around 160 for the past year.   I am sick...what sane person allows food to kill them? Who can gain 10 lbs in a week with a lap band? I can and I have...   Tuesday morning, I was determined to put an end to this madness. I woke up and went for a walk before preparing for work. At work, I drank water. I increased my protein and decreased my junk food intake.   I know that I need a lifestyle change and it begins with my commitment to myself.
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New Month - Renewed Focus

June 1, 2009 178.8   Chest - 37" Waist - 31" Hips - 42.5" Arm - 12.5" Thigh - 24.5"   I am so happy that I am over halfway to my goal of 150 lbs. I am receiving compliments on a daily basis about my weight loss. I am striving to reach my goal because I haven't been at it since high school. However, if I don't lose another pound, I still feel good about my progress. I feel so much better about myself. I was headed on a path of destruction. I have no doubt in my mind that I had I not opted for the lapband, I would have reached 300 pounds during this end of my stressful year on my job.   I know that I must become more consistent at drinking more water, taking my multivitamin, and exercising in order to promote more weight loss.
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Let's see what happens with .25 removed

Oct. 1, 2009   Yesterday, I went to my appointment and had .25 removed from my band. I didn't know how much was in my band, but the nurse said that I have 6.35 remaining in my 10 cc band.   I immediately felt a difference and was able to eat and I continued to feel restriction too, which I was afraid wouldn't be as effective.   I feel like I made the right decision.
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Let the CHANGE begin in 2010...yes, I want to be thin!

I love to make New Year's Resolutions and commit to change at the turn of a new year. My commitments for change for 2010 include:   1. Focus on Spiritual Growth 2. Focus on Family 3. Focus on Health - Exercise 5 times per week - Appreciate who I am and how I look like every day (in the past, no matter how much weight I lost, I wasn't satisfied) 4. Focus on finishing dissertation - Propose by February - Defend by May - Graduate by Summer
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July - August Progress

August 1, 2009 169   July 1st Aug. 1st 175 lbs. 169 lbs. -6 lbs.:biggrin: Chest - 36.5" 36" -1" Waist - 31" 30.5" -.5" Hips - 42" 41.5" -.5" Arms - 12.5" 12.5" 0 Thigh - 24" 23.5" -.5"
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Is this the sweet spot?

March 20, 2009 195.4 lbs.   I am trying to adjust to this new fill. Yesterday, nothing stayed down. I was able to have two sugar-free popcicles. I am sure that after the fill, there is some swelling that has to go down. I am hoping to have reached my sweet spot, but I don't want to pb or slime after every meal.
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Idk

July 19, 2009   I must be the queen of plateaus because it seems like I am always trying to come out of one. I guess I am averaging about 5 lbs. per month of weight loss per month. So...it takes about two months to lose 10 lbs. I know that slow weight loss is best for the skin, etc...   I am also thinking about having a slight unfil because the stress of eating impacting me negatively. I have never had a good relationship with food. In the past, I was glutton and now I am afraid to eat. I experience a lot of stress prior to eating and there are times when I don't eat at all in a social situation because I fear having a PB episode.   I don't particular like the shakes anymore. I waste more than I drink.
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I hate plateaus

June 21, 2009 178.6 lbs.   I know that the band works for me when I work it. If I were to be honest with myself, I have not worked the band at all. The band is doing its job in spite of my weaknesses. I can't eat skittles, icecream, and m&m's and expect to lose weight. I hardly drink any water and I haven't been doing any purposeful exercising.   So...I have to quit lying to myself. Do I really hate plateaus? If I hate the state that I am in weight wise, then I will exercise, drink my water, stop eating slider foods, and increase my protein intake. It's that simple.   Otherwise, I don't hate plateaus, I hate myself as evident with my destructive behavior.
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