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I can't take it anymore -- unfill tomorrow...yes, I'm scared!

September 29, 2009 159 lbs.   Since my last fill, it has been an unpredictable journey full of valley and mountain top experiences. Lately, I have been having too many episodes and can't keep anything down. I pray that all is well and look forward to my appointment in the morning to have a slight unfill. There have been days when I thought I might be at my sweet spot, but I have experienced more days of misery than anything else. Currently, it's my TOM and I can't eat anything. I have scheduled an appointment for in the morning for an unfill. A couple of months ago, I scheduled an appointment for an unfill and canceled. I have this fear that I am going to gain weight, but I know that I will continue to have restriction. I only need to lose about six more pounds and then I want to focus on maintaining.   I am happy with my progress, but I want to be able to eat more protein and vegetables.   I will post my feelings after my appointment tomorrow. I pray all is well and I haven't waited too late...
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I am still striving

July 1, 2009 175 lbs.   Chest - 36.5" Waist - 31" Hips - 42" Arms - 12.5" Thigh - 24"   During the month of June, I did okay. I didn't gain any weight. I only lost about 3 pounds and a couple of inches. However, progress is progress as I said in an earlier post.   I think I am headed in the right direction. I have been walking every morning at 5:30 a.m. for about an hour and I have been lifting weights after work. I really don't know how that's going to work. I am extremely pleased with my current look. I am wearing sizes 10 and 12 and the 12's are very loose.   I am feeling more confident. I just don't want to become complacent. I want to make it to goal this time. I am less than 25 lbs. away and I want to go all the way to my goal.   I am very sore right now and it feels so good because it's a reminder of all the hard work waking up early in the morning to walk and taking the time after work to lift.   I hope to continue to work to improve the following:   1. Drink more water. 2. Eat more protein. 3. Post on this blog
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Focus on the goal

Jan 4, 2010   Weight 163 lbs Chest 35.5" Hips 40.5" Thigh 23 Arm 12   Walked for 25 minutes   I am on my way to goal...new year, improved me!
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Enjoying the Progress

May 2, 2009 183.5 lbs.   I am .5 lb. away from 30 lbs total weight loss. I am 1.5 lbs. away from my Cinco de Mayo goal of losing 15 lbs.   I am just so...happy. Everywhere I go, I am getting compliments:thumbup:   In the past, I was always chasing the next number. When I was a size 14, I wasn't satisfied until I got down to a size 12. When I was a size 12, I wasn't satisfied until I got down to a size 10 and so on and so forth.   This time, I am enjoying the progress. I am in a size 12 and I feel good because I am not in a size 16/18 anymore. When I try on a size 10 that doesn't work, I just say someday and wear the size 12. Recently I tried on a shirt and the only size they had left was medium. Because my large shirts were getting spacious, I figured there was a slight chance that I could wear a medium. However, when I discovered that I couldn't because it was too tight, I didn't become discouraged as I would have in the past. I just found me a large blouse that I could wear and thanked God that I didn't have to buy an extra large.   So...yes, I am enjoying the progress. I am learning to be thankful for right now. I know that I am not where I want to be, but I thank God I am not where I used to be!
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Eating out is getting easier

April 16, 2009 188 lbs.   Today I attended an installation banquet and of course I was nervous because I knew that food would be served. I am so... proud of myself. When my salad was served, I took several small bites and chewed slowly. When I began to feel uneasy, I immediately stopped. Once my salad was removed and my entree was served, I did the same thing...tiny bites and chewed slowly. When I began to feel uneasy, I stopped immediately. In the past, I would have tried to get one more bite and ended up having to excuse myself to the restroom. By the time my dessert was served, I was able to take a couple of bites of cheesecake (my favorite) and stop too.   Pre-band...I would have eaten everything and wanted seconds.   I have my walking clothes on...I am drinking some water and when I finish posting, I am going walking.   I want to win this battle....I am determined to win this battle...my quality of life depends on it and my husband and kids are worth it!
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Delivered's Journey - My fourth fill

March 18, 2009   Today I had my fourth fill. I hope to recommit to eating appropriately and making sure that I get enough protein. I plan to stay away from slider foods including chips, ice-cream, cookies, etc. I am so...ticked at myself when I think about all of the time I have wasted and why I paid 13,500 dollars for a procedure to work so fervently to sabatage my success? I just don't understand my psyche! I am sick and tired of living my life dreaming of how I would look and how I would be when I lose weight. I want it to become my reality...
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Delivered's Journey

March 26, 2009 190.8   It's been a great week. Several people have noticed that I have lost weight. My clothes fit much looser and that's always a great feeling. I wore a suit to work today that I hadn't been able to wear before.   I have been able to eat more for lunch and dinner. Today I took chicken strips and removed the breading, dipped it in gravy and mashed potatoes and did not have any problems. When I got the full feeling, I stopped immediately instead of trying one more bite.   I am so happy that I have now lost over twenty pounds!   Life is good and my band is making sure that I get to experience more of it!
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Delivered's Journey

March 27, 2009 190.8 lbs.   I am happy that I have been holding steady on my weight loss. In order for more weight loss to occur, I can rely on this band totally! I have to start meeting my three goals.   1. Exercise with a goal of 10,000 steps per day....This past week, I have walked four of the five mornings. I am really proud of myself for that. I have found that it is best for me to walk in the mornings (before work) so that I don't come up with an excuse to not walk after work. When I was on a campus, I was able to do a lot of walking. I have found that this is a lot more difficult when working in an office. I am averaging about 6,000 steps per day. I must "step it up" -- no pun intended:thumbup:   2. Drink 64 ounces of water everyday.... I have increased my water intake, but not enough.   3. Eat more protein and less carbs.... I have been drinking a low-carb, high-protein shake every morning, but I am unable to eat all of the meats I was once able to eat pre-band. So...I am having to figure this one outl. I can't eat tuna, nor can I eat chicken salad. I can consistently eat grilled fish, but other meats are hit or miss....I have to work on this one.   I am taking it one meal at a time, one day at a time because I my family deserves it and I am worth it!
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Delivered's Journey

March 30, 2009 189.8 lbs.   This morning I weighed and was happy to discover that I am continuing to lose weight. I really feel like I am at the "sweet spot" that everyone refers to. I am trying desperately to meet my three goals.   1. 10,000 steps...this morning I walked three laps (over two miles) instead of my usual two laps around our subdivsion.   2. I am working on my water intake.   3. I am eating my protein first and decreasing carbs. For breakfast, I had a shake and for lunch I had grilled catfish.   So...I am on my way!
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Delivered's Journey

March 15, 2009   It's 12:09 a.m. and I can't sleep for thinking about the life that I have missed because of my struggle with obesity. For the past 10 years, I have gained and lost the same 50 or so pounds several times. In November of 2008, I decided to take matters into my own hands and I had the lap band surgery. I thought it was the answer to my prayers and in some ways it was...I did not gain any weight during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays (for the first time). However, actual weight loss has not been easy. I thought I would be half-way to goal by now, but I am not. I have lost 17 lbs. in about three months.   I recognized that I would have been more successful had I been more disciplined. I have some issues that must be addressed in order to have any weight loss success. I tend to sabatoge myself in amazing ways...chips, candy, icecream...you name it.   So...I need to recommit to myself and my success. I am starting this blog as a daily journal to record my thoughts, successes, and challenges. I plan to exercise daily as well. Okay...I can do this!
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Delivered's Journey

March 16, 2008   Today has been a long day. We celebrated with a Family and Friends' Day at church and what a time! There were so many people present that it was absolutely amazing. You know, it's so easy to trust God in most areas of my life, but for some reason, it's difficult to know what to do about my weight issues.   Tomorrow starts my spring break...YEAH! I am so excited that I will be able to get some much needed rest. It's also going to be a good time to refocus on my weight loss goals. I normally weigh everyday, but I haven't for the past couple of days because of my TOM.   My goal this week is to refocus and recommit to my health!   I am on my way...
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Delivered's Journey

April 2, 2009 189.8   I am so happy that I am continuing to make progress toward my weight loss goals. I have walked every morning this week. I am also eating a lot less (thanks to my fourth fill). I have been trying to take in more protein and make fewer bad choices. I cannot eat as many slider foods as I could prior to this most recent fill. For an example, I could eat chips and salsa, but now I cannot! Yes, it's a good thing!   I am going to work hard to lose at least 7 lbs this month!
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Delivered's Journey

March 17, 2009   Today is my daughter's birthday. She will turn 5 years old at 10:00 a.m.! We are celebrating her birthday at a park. I am going to be surrounding my slider foods...cake, chips, etc. The good thing is that I am scheduled for a fill tomorrow morning.   This fill will hopefully make recommitting much easier. My TOM is coming to an end too, so I can start weighing myself again tomorrow morning.   I am on my way...
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Delivered's Journey

July 27, 2009 171.6   Yesterday evening, I played Volleyball and this morning at 5:30 a.m., I went walking 2.6 miles. I am striving to get 10,000 steps per day. I have also been drinking more liquids. This has helped me in two ways. First and foremost, I read on the forum that dehydration may cause the band to be tighter than usual, so I have increased my water intake and this has enabled me to eat more. In addition, increasing my water intake has helped me to break the plateau.   I definitely can see the results of my weight loss. I can wear my "old" clothes and I feel much better. The compliments have been extraordinary. I am constantly getting positive feedback everywhere I go, so either I looked very bad before or I look much better now.
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Confused about success...

September 24, 2009 159.6 lbs.   I can't believe that I weigh only 159 lbs...I haven't been in the 150's in a very long time. I am happy, but also confused.   I get so much attention that you would have sworn that I lost these 50 lbs overnight. I can't go anywhere and it doesn't help that I work in a high visibility possition.   I look in the mirror and I do see that I look much better, but I don't see the "skinny" person that everyone is raving about...I don't know if it's a mental thing or not.   I haven't been this close to my goal since I got married over 11 years ago.   I am very happy about my success, but I am having to adjust to the amount and kind of attention that I am receiving.   I can't believe that I am at the end of the journey to reach my goal weight of 153 lbs., but I know that the hardest journey will be addressing the issues that caused me to yo-yo diet for half my life, maintaining my goal weight, and adjusting to the new healthier me.
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Broke the Plateau

June 30, 2009 174 lbs.   For the past week, I have increased my physical activity. I have been walking. Yesterday, I walked and lifted weights. This morning, I walked. I am hoping to work hard during the month of July because I want to be at or near goal when school starts back.
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April - May Progress

(May 1st - 184 lbs.) April 1st - 189.8 lbs.   April 1st - (May 1st) = lost chest 38 (37.5) .5 waist 33 (32.5) .5 hips 44.5 (43.5) 1 arm 13.5 (13) .5 thigh 25.5 (24.5) 1   So... I lost 3.5 inches and 5.8 lbs. this month!:biggrin:   Not great, but definitely not bad! I am 1 lbs away from my 30 lbs. goal!:thumbup:   I must keep on keeping on... We all must keep on keeping on!
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A new beginning

March 19, 2009 197.4 lbs.   Today is the day...I am taking my life back. I was relying on this band to save me and that's not possible because I have to save myself. I have to take some steps to help my band, which is a tool. This is my plan:   1. Drink my 64 ounces of water 2. Eat more protein and less carbs (before 7:00 p.m.) 3. Exercise everyday for 30 minutes with a goal of 10,000 steps.   I am not going to wait until Monday. I am going to start today! It's simple...drink water, eat more protein, and exercise 30 minutes. Sounds simple, right? I am hoping to release the me that's aching to be freed from this fat suit.   I am going to get my hair cut today too. I was going to wait until I reached my goal weight, but no more waiting...today is the day for my new beginning.   I am on my way...
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8 Month Progress Report

August 1, 2009   Then(Now) = Amt. Lost   Chest 40.5(36) = 4.5 inches :biggrin: Waist 41(30.5) = 10.5 inches :thumbup: WOW Hips 47.5(41.5) = 6 inches :eek: Arm 14 (12.5) = 1.5 inches :thumbup: Thigh 28(23.5) = 4.5 inches :thumbup:   Total inches lost = 27 inches:thumbup: Weight 213(169) = 44 lbs:thumbup: Starting size 16/18 (XL) Current Size 8/10 (M)   I am so excited about my progress. The journey has been rough and there were times when I was disappointed, but I definitely am thankful for the life that the lapband has helped me to attain. I feel good about my physical self again. I can dress with confidence. At this point, I know I have to reevaluate my goal. I want to be able to wear size 8's. I have no desire to be smaller; however, I haven't been smaller in a very long time, so I don't know how I would look at a smaller size. I guess I will take it 10 lbs. at a time. I will evaluate how I look at 160 lbs. and then 155 lbs.
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30 Pounds Gone Forever

May 3, 2009 182.4   On the day of my surgery, I weighed 213 lbs. and today I have passed the 30 lbs. mark and am 182.4 lbs.   I feel so good. I am halfway to my goal. The process has been slow. It has taken 5 months for me to lose 30 lbs, but I am not dwelling on that. The lowest I have been in the last few years has been 173, so I am really looking forward to losing some virgin fat and to think I am only 10 lbs. away is great progress.   The best feeling I have is not worrying about gaining this weight back so ... quickly as I have done so...many times in the past.
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25 lbs. GONE FOREVER

April 13, 2009 188 lbs.   I am officially 25 lbs. lighter! The bad part is that it has taken me nearly 5 months to lose it, but the good part is that I don't have to worry about gaining it all back and then some as I have done in the past. I am 6 lbs. away from my May 5th goal...which I am going to strive fervently to reach. I am trying to tackle 10 lbs. at a time. I am so ready for my TOM to end. I have a couple of overnight work conferences coming up this week and next week. These are sometimes difficult because I am usually surrounding by good food or eating at my favorite restaurant. Nothing is worse than getting stuck or having an uncomfortable moment in front of colleagues! So..I am learning to order soup or grilled fish....which is good for me anyway!   Okay...I have to go get my taxes done today. I pray all goes well!
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